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 baycitymom
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 3
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
From a female perspective, I am interested a man that I recently met and while talking to him I still spoke with an ex-lover who happens to be my best friend. I don't find anything wrong with it. I have no other interest in him other than being friends. You just have to trust her. I was in a long distance relationship myself, I live in MI and he lived in CA so there was 1900 miles between us. You just have to trust her and keep your lines of communication open. Good luck with your situation. Never assume the worst.
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/12/2007 1:31:59 PM
Okay, maturesexyman, it's a shame you feel violated. I am friends with every ex I have ever had in my life, except one. There has been nothing sexual or in any way suspect between me and any of them. Why should I throw away a wonderful friendship just because the romance is dead? A new love simply has to know me well enough to trust me. I'm not getting rid of lifelong friendships because a guy feels threatened. If he can't trust me, that becomes HIS problem.
 floridaman4u
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 8
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/12/2007 1:43:11 PM
theres a reason theres xxxxs so why the need to stay in touch ..oh ya that .... well i believe your girl needs to be your best friend ..and friends are a must in life ,but if you have had sex well there not really in the friend list anymore ,,,right .....i normaly say to a girl who tells me well i mainly have guy friends so youll have to get use to that i just get along with guys better ..i replay its cool and i understand cause most of mine are girls so get use to that ... ya youll get the wtf look ...but you made your point ...
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 16
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:37:01 PM
Nothing is probably going on -BUT -
that would bother me too - and its not about trust -its about
when WE have a problem you talk to me about it - Not to an EX-
Maybe you guys are off and on for a reason and you need to explore
that reason within yourself. Maybe it is time to let go.
 rome46
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 24
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/12/2007 6:37:27 PM
i would not like that at all, if my women was doing that.
 Casey76
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 28
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/12/2007 8:24:26 PM
I think this would be a case by case situation. If she is young and into games, there might be cause for concerns.

Speaking from personal experience, I am still friends with several of my exes. Infact, one of my boyfriends became good friends with one of my exes. And to this day, if Im feeling down or get my heart crushed, for some reason I still call up an ex from about 8-9 years ago. He knows me well enough to cheer me up and feeling better again, and no....we havent had an intimate relationship in years. He's just one of my best guy friends. (and his current and I are friends as well)

So it really just depends on the relationship with her exes. Is it just someone safe to talk to that gives her a little focus so that she appreciates you more? Or is it a game to make you jealous? If the later, then maybe it's time to move on and find someone on your level that isnt into the games. Unless that is what you want.....


Good Luck!!!
 wurl
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 35
 Randominternetguy
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 37
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/13/2007 4:48:36 PM
If you trust someone, you trust them. If you don't trust them, you don't. Every time you have an arguement she's talking with ex's. I don't see that as an ex problem, that's a relationship problem. If you replace ex with girlfriends or parents or siblings the issues remains, when you two have a problem, she is going somewhere else.

I personally don't understand why I have to give up completely on someone just because we couldn't make it as a couple. Why do they have to be bad? Why should I boot them out of my life because coupledom didn't work?

I look at it this way, if lack of coupledom means she no longer likes me, then how much did she like me to begin with? Was she more interested in the role I might play, or interested in me as a person?

I've always (well, for the past 30 years anyway) found it easier to talk with women then men. I'm going to have female friends in my life. If I met someone who was "perfect" but told me my friends had to go, I would argue she is not "perfect".

I've had friends without relationship and no friends with relationship, and I have to say I prefer the former over the latter. It's also true that my friends are very independent and aren't afraid to go against the grain. I know what draws me to someone, but there are often other factors that have a significant impact on coupledom.

--Bob
 PalominoPony
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 39
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/13/2007 5:18:39 PM
First off trust your "Spidy Senses". The reason that a person still talks to X's can vary by individual. I personally still talk to a few, not all. For me as a female it is because they were my best friends and yes they did understand me. But from their perspective they always had hoped I would come back for sex (I have been told me that).

So no matter what she says just like in the wild.

A stallion is only in control of his herd until another stallion fights and wins the herd.
Watch your herd because if you don't someone else will.

The other thing is you are to good looking, smart and together to worry about her running off. Let her run off and then don't take her back. Obviously, there are more problems in the relationship than just occassional spats. You may want to communicate your concerns to here and not on a forum. Tell her how you feel.

Worse case buy a cowboy hat and learn to two-step. Women can't resist a man in a cowboy hat and a southern drawl.

PalominoPony
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 56
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/16/2007 1:12:36 PM
I always believed that if you were going to be into your ex, you wouldn't have broken up. Most ex lovers are people you already found out you don't get along with as anything more than friends if at all.

I think new people of the opposite sex are much more of a threat to an SO, because you haven't been there done that already.

But bottom line is it all comes down to trust.
 ck1time
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 62
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/16/2007 9:52:12 PM
Not too practical maybe, because we all feel we have to do THIS, or say THAT when we have a similar perplexity in our love lives.
But, really, All You Need Is Love.
There are many hot potential GF's within the 3+ Billion female pool who will love U.
It's tough when U've made an emotional investment. Investments of all kinds sometimes go sour for a while, but investments of the love variety are seldom useless. U might lose some time or $ but the experience U gained is PRICELESS. I'd put it on "simmer" on the "back burner". If it heats up, she'll jump to Ur front burner. If Ur done w/her, U will let her know, w/o hurting her. (Or she might say the same). Don't ever forget that women go to great lengths to NOT hurt a man. Even to lie to avoid that stigma. You know this, so U transcend her insecurity & doubt, through Ur thinking & behavior, because U have all the love in the world. Or something like that, lol.
 innocentantic
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 63
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 2/16/2007 11:25:49 PM

She has confided in me and told me that all her ex's are still interested in her,


So, psychologically she is rewarded and validated for keeping in touch with them. Who doesn't want to feel wanted?
 floridaman4u
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 64
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:54:34 AM
hmmm seems women are cool with being friends with their xlovers ... but its uncool if i guy wants xlovers as friends ,, wow am i on a one way street ...
 Shenandoah
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 76
Looking for input?
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:12:03 PM
She's just keeping her options open. Do you really think that anyone like her is trustworthy? When the time comes that she thinks that ,"We should see other people",
you've already been screwed over. Any woman that says differently is a pathological liar.
 CharleneAnn
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 80
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:59:28 PM
I am sorry when someone has been intimate with another.. there is a line that has been crossed and is easier to cross again... and the fact she is sharing private details with ANYONE is disturbing. Some people think that there is nothing wrong with having ex-lovers as friends.. but when they run to these people for comfort.. it would be easy to play on buttons that an ex only would know..... Interfering in your relationship and the health of it.

Casual friendship is one thing.. but CLOSE friendship is questionable in my book, IF they are that close they might have worked out their own relationship.....it is too easy to sabotage your good thing.
ENDING a relationship is like removing a bandage on a hairy part of your body... JUST RIP IT OFF, AND TOSS IT AWAY.... INSTEAD of pulling one hair at a time and suffering. No need to keep around a thing that is puss filled and septic!!!!

Little hurts not treated.... fester and get septic!!!!!
 CharleneAnn
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 81
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 3/14/2007 2:17:19 PM
I AGREE WITH ninetonine........

He seems to have some knowledge on this and I would listen.... LOL... BTW long ago I was engaged to a licensed clinical social worker, I helped him with school.... so I know a bit myself.
 michaels in orlando
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 85
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 3/16/2007 2:08:56 PM
You should move on, if this woman needs to keep in touch regularly sounds verysuspect at worst and insecure and needyat best.
 PinkLib
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 89
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 5/12/2007 9:01:07 PM
Funny how all the women thinks it's ok but if the tables were turned!! Believe me most ex's still have a sexual interest and I don't think that's a healthy way to start a relationship.
P.S. to your girlfriend.... (your supposed to keep that stuff a secret!!)
 brucem101
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 90
What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 5/12/2007 9:07:16 PM
you feel violated, yes. but guess what? a girl wont see it that way at all....matter of fact, if you get caught doing the same thing they are doing, you are the one who will be wrong! but we are supposed to understand these things,,,,,right?
 doubleohseven
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 92
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What Do You Think Of A Girl Friend Who Stays in Touch With Ex Lovers On a Regular Basis?
Posted: 5/14/2007 1:06:22 AM
I think she is just using you to make her exlovers jealous.
I wouldn´t trust a woamn that keeps in contact with exlovers, sometimes they may have a close encounter, because of having an intimate relationship at one time they may have one when you least expect it, even if it is none sexual, there are still memories and things that happened that will keep that person in their mind and in order to have a good relationship with another person they should have ended any type of realtionship with that person.
It´s better to be safe than sorry !
I would dump her and tell her about your conversations with your exlovers, see how she feels .

Gregory 007
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