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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?      Home login  
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 JordanMardan
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 113
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?Page 15 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
pbmac3: "Never once thought the person was racist, just a personal preference."

Jordan: racism is NOT a personal preference.
People develop racist preferences through the teachings of their parents, their church/religion, movies, textbooks/schools, newspapers, etc.

What may seem to be a personal preference is an idea that has been planted in one's head by one's culture, which includes all the items in the preceding sentence and others.
 a_bit_gay
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 114
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/5/2007 1:49:03 PM
seems like a fairly 'minor' incident, someone you didn't know (POF girl)

I wouldn't become a 'victim' over this..
 JordanMardan
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 115
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/5/2007 7:05:48 PM
daydreamer: Then please explain to me why it isn't called racism if I am East Indian or Asian or any other culture which might forbid inter-cultural marriages?"

Jordan: Who told you that "it wasn't racism?"


daydreamer: "Not being attracted to someone doesn't mean you hate them."

Jordan: Something within one's culture had to plant the idea in one's mind that "one group is preferable to another."
People don't exist in a vacuum.
 JordanMardan
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 116
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/5/2007 7:52:01 PM
Janice: "How is simply not being attracted to those outside of your own race racism ??"

Jordan: Look at the definition I provided for a racist above.
One's culture can teach one to "prefer one group over another based on physical characteristics."

(((The definition of being a racist is "To hold the belief that there are both inferior and superior groups of humans, and that physical characteristics are indicators of one's innate capacities, such as control of emotions, intelligence, and /or temperament.")))

Janice: By your own definition that you put down racism has nothing to do with not being physically attracted to people of another race .

Jordan: Cute....but I'm not amused.
The definition does apply to "only dating/marrying within one's own group (if there is such a thing...since all humans can be genetically linked to one African woman who lived several thousand years ago....so we ALL have a common ancestor...also see my thread "Race: The Power of An Illusion").

Obviously, to choose to date/marry within one's "own" group is an indication that "one believes that her/his group is superior to all others, whether it's intelligence, external traits, etc.

In the definition I initially gave, the key terms are "inferior and superior groups."
For example, if no Women of Color were able to participate, let alone win, the Miss World Beauty pageants decades ago, was that racism? Yes...in that "the organizers believed that some women are physically superior to other women."


Janice: Racism is to hate another group of people based on their race alone. You would look down on them as less then you and inferior if you were racist. It has nothing to do with attraction. Of course you are entitled to your beliefs no matter how wrong they are .

Jordan: I've been conducting diversity workshops for about 8 years, and know the meaning of a number of terms.
I've also conducted testing for the local and state Human Rights Commissions, and thus know that the definitions I gave are the definitions used to determine racism, etc.
The definitions I posted are accepted/embraced by a majority of researchers and other academics.

"Attraction" is the RESULT of being taught that "one group is superior to other groups in beauty/handsomeness, intelligence, etc., etc., etc.

Learn how to apply the definitions rather than simply interpreting them literally.
Going by your words, for example, "if a teacher had lower expectations for some students," then her/his beliefs would NOT be an example of being a racist.....because "low expectations is not part of the definition for racist."

Again, based on your words, "if an employer refused to hire members of a certain group," then her/his actions would not be racist because "employment is not part of the definition of racism ."

Again, the key terms in my definiton of racism is "belief in superior and inferior groups."
Once a racist has determined who is superior and who is inferior, he/she bases her/his treatment of groups on those perceptions, whether it's for employment, attraction for dating/marrying, disenfranchisement, appointment to boards of directors, police profiling, prison sentences (can this person be rehabilitated or "her race will prevent from from being rehabilitated?"....which is the argument of "The Bell Curve," by Murray and Herrnstein.

Further applying the definition:
If a racist believes women in group A are superior to women in group B, he will only hire women from group A to be models for his clothing line.

If a racist coach believes members of group A are athletically superior to members of group B, she will most likely recruit only from group A, without giving members of group B an opportunity to prove themselves.

And on and on and on.
 JordanMardan
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 117
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/5/2007 7:59:31 PM
luke: "This decision will sent the pendulem back the the cnter wherepeople will advance based on qualifications and not the color of your skin."

Jordan: Affirmative action has nothing to do with "advancement."
Affirmativer action only opens the door to being hired.
If you're doing a poor job, aff. action cannot save you from being fired.

If white people are supposed (self-nominated) to be sooooo much smarter, how come the overwhelming majority cannot define affirmative action?

Two, if Asian American students have the highest GPAs as a group in both high school and college, why aren't more of them in positions as CEOs and other upper-level positions?! Because under-qualified whites who are part of the good ol' boys network have the greatest chance of being chosen for a job.
 JordanMardan
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 118
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/5/2007 8:27:10 PM
csod: "a lot of black men still seem insecure about race. I got IM'ed not too long ago by a black man. He wasn't subtle in telling me how interested he was in me. That was a "turn off". When I told him that I wasn't interested, he asked me THE QUESTION: "It's because I'm black!" I had to reassure him that wasn't the case. "


Jordan: If we lived in a world or country where members of different groups have always had the freedom to date/marry anyone they wished, your words would have validity. However, that has not been the case historically in the US or some other countries.

In fact, in many states it was illegal for a white person to marry someone of African-, Asian-, Latino-, or "Native"-American ancestry as late as the 1960s.
Such marriages/dating or the production of children was known as miscegenation.

Note, it wasn't illegal for a Chinese man to marry a Black woman or a Latina to marry a "Native"-American man...just for whites marying People of Color.

Hence, if some Black men are motivated to ask, "Is it because I'm Black," it is NOT because they are insecure, but simply because they are cognizant of the historical social taboo among whites in regards to marriage or dating with People of Color.

Even today....inter-ethnic marriages ONLY makeup 7% of all marriages, which suggests the taboo still exists.
This has nothing to do with Black men, but with the fact that a lot of racial beliefs still exist.
And in many cases, white women who dare to date/marry men of another ethnicity may find themselves beaten, loss of a job, rejected by their families, etc., etc., etc.
I know a few white women who were written out of their fathers' wills for marying Black and other Men of Color.

"How could I be racist if I have a child with a black man?"
Did the Black man who asked that question know beforehand that you had a child with a Black man?! I seriously doubt if he did...because if he had known, he wouldn't have asked. That's not a fair example to be posting.
(however, one can still date members of other groups...and still hold racist beliefs, such as "you're NOT like the rest of them") Yeah, right.
 JordanMardan
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 119
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/5/2007 8:30:49 PM
dreadstalker: "Jordan if a persons preference is not hate based then it is not racism. Argue and whine about it all you want but you are not goin to change the facts."

Jordan: Why do you people always have to inject the term "whining" in your whiny messages?!

Please provide an example of a preference that is not rooted in hate/prejudice/racism.
 rykon
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 120
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/11/2007 2:10:25 PM
Part of why what we today call "races" -- and I am thinking mainly here of three (Caucasoid, Black / African, and East Asian) who have the largest "differences" in appearance, etc, -- part of why these "races", these differences, developed over the tens of thousands of years since all of humankind migrated OUT of Africa is (or was rather) SEXUAL selection. Along of course with climate / habitat change, and so forth (as is already well known). At one time the very first modern humans coming out of Africa quite possibly , if not most probably, were what we today would consider black (possibly resembling , so I have read at least, and I stress possibly as who could ever KNOW this beyond a doubt, but, possibly resembling the San! Bushmen of the Kalahari region of Africa). If you look at pics of the latter, they tend to have a look that is almost a sort of "blend", if you will, of all three of the "races" mentioned in the first sentence.

But yes, sexual selection is now believed to have quite possibly been part of what led to specific traits (what we today would call racial , or perhaps ethnic, traits) developing in certain regions and remaining improbable, if not impossible, in others. Though in my opinion it probably had more to do with the climate and habitat changes our human ancestors underwent as they moved from region to region and thousands and thousands of years passed.

But let's talk about the "sexual selection" theory. Red hair (natural red; 'carrot' ) is not found (not very frequently at least) in , say, the Mediterranean regions, where skins tend to get more "olivish" , and will tan well (usually), or sometimes are even naturally a bit "brown" (like Latino-Americans). Red hair like that IS found frequently however in, say, Ireland or Scotland. This means, or it could well mean, that the people in the latter regions (Ireland and Scotland) sexually selected , that is, showed a distinct and ongoing "personal preference" for , over generations and generations, this genetic trait. This is why today, or , I should say in MY opinion it is at least a PART of why, one is not all that likely to find a pale skinned blue eyed redhead feeling her or himself immensely attracted (of course it happens at times, but, I'm just saying) to, say, a blue-black central African. Or, someone with very "black" skin and features who is descended from that part of the world. The Irishman , or Scotsman (or woman as it were) will more likely feel first attracted to someone whom she or he looks more like. Not always, of course, but, I maintain that much of the time this is the case.

Indeed if something like this were not the case, wouldn't we all essentially be one sort of light-brown light coffee-colored "race" by now?? It's the same way that black men and women (usually, again, NOT always) look first to members of the opposite sex who look most like they do, as opposed to picking out , as a first choice for a mate, a tall platinum-blonde blue-eyed Scandinavian (or descendant thereof). It's not racism (unless at the same time they're shouting invective about it, as the OP says he experienced with the female poster who rejected him because he is black). It's human nature, and natural preference(s) that are "hard-wired" (or so I believe at least) into our brains. Yes, there are cases, many many cases, of polar opposites attracting one another, but, again, if this were THAT widespread, if humans were somehow innately inclined towards the opposite of what I'm saying, whites towards blacks, and vice-versa, then by this period of human history , would we even be having this kind of discussion anymore??? Would we not already have "blended" even so much more than we already have??

Why is it that, the majority of the time (ok, I have no numbers or hard proof of this but am just going by personal observation) , one sees , as far as dating and marriage, "like going with like" (so to speak) ?? Now that just CAN'T all be the result of racial "baggage" left over from slavery or Jim Crow (in the case of the Americans here) or ... any other sociological factors one can come up with. There must be SOMEthing which is, if not biological, then damn near biological, behind these (general) aesthetic preferences.
 iamasiam
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 121
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/12/2007 3:58:19 AM
You are a victim when you accept and decide to become a vicitm.
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 122
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/12/2007 6:02:20 AM
Why is that your first assumption? Why can't you see that it is possible to not be interested in dating someone without being racist? How do you KNOW she meant ALL and that she even implied they were DISGUSTING? Why do you think you can KNOW what she meant at all?


Not necessary racist, but she definitely could have more tact and polite such as saying "I'm usually not attracted to black men" instead of "Eww No".
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 123
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:21:01 PM
I think if you have to ask yourself if you're a victim of racism, then you aren't a victim of racism.
 a_bit_gay
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 124
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/17/2007 9:03:40 AM
^^
hahah, crazy people
 a_bit_gay
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 125
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:24:24 AM
bottom line:

if you WANT to be a 'victim', go ahead and be a victim.

for some people it's a lifestyle or way of life!
 a_bit_gay
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 126
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 7/19/2007 9:14:28 AM
^^ yes it does happen, and is sad & too bad, although there are also people who IMAGINE racism wher eit doesn't exist..

people CAN not like you becasue they think you're an a-hole, not because of the color of your skin, but SOME people will alsways assume it is about race.
 JordanMardan
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 127
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 9/30/2007 12:26:58 PM
if you WANT to be a 'victim', go ahead and be a victim.

for some people it's a lifestyle or way of life!

Jordan: No one can actively or passively choose to be a victim of racism or any other isms.
Was Matthew Sheppard not a victim?!
Was James Byrd not a victim?

Are people with non-white American sounding names not victims when a HR person decides not to call he/she in for an interview?

Are the Katrina survivors not victims of FEMA?

Once this "victim" bull, created by conservatives, is cross-examined, one can easily see the ridiculousness of it.
Just a way to divert attention away from the racists/sexists/etc-ists and onto their targets.

Jordan Mardan
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 128
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 10/12/2007 9:03:38 AM
"ewwwww no" was really mean. But the question about if she dates black guys had a bad timing. First, you should have a picture posted, so the females can see you. Many white females think of black guys as if they all look like Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson and have the ghetto attitude. You should have a picture and then approach any lady no matter race. If they like you they'll tell you, if not move on to the next woman!
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 129
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 10/13/2007 8:58:59 AM
Have you seen how hot is Tyra Banks? mmmm
 Mont-Royal
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 130
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 10/28/2007 7:25:22 AM
Racism comes from knowledge and observation, not ignorance.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 131
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 1/10/2009 5:31:11 PM
the Opening Poster is a black man and he asked a question:


It started when i messaged a female a couple days ago. I commented on how great she looked in her pictures and asked her if she dated black guys!

her answer was


"ewwwww no"


maybe she was afraid to date black men and that was her reaction.
a story ran in the paper the other day by the Associated Press. it confirmed the the FBI stated that 10,067 murders occured in 2007 and more than half the people arrested for those murders were black.

so i guess she was just making an intelligent decision.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 132
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:37:17 AM
you folks have your words defined incorrectly. you mean bigotry.^^^^ get it right people or you seem uninformed. generally speaking....

racism - where you believe that one race is SUPERIOR to another race or where another race is INFERIOR.

bigotry - where you dislike/avoid/hate/preach against another race of people.

archie bunker was a bigot.

adolph hitler was a racist (he believed the german's were the "master race") and the jews were inferior, therefore he ordered the execution of millions of them. and millions were murdered as a result.
 DJ_Jazzy_B
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 133
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How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 1/13/2009 11:19:48 AM
racism is going with your mom to a department store that happens to have a place to eat but you have to eat in the colored only section.racism is going to get a drink of water and having to get it from the coloreds only fountain.racism is not getting the key to the rest room on the highway because your black and its suddenly out of order.racism is not getting an apartment because despite the fact that you have you have good credit and all the money to pay ..your denied because you might bring down the value of the neighborhood.racism is checking into a hotel room and your given a higher rate because your black. racism is getting seated so far in the back of the diner you can see the timeclock. this is not a statement of how it was years ago this is about the here and now because its still happening...walk a mile in those shoes then get back at me and oh by the way skin color doesnt determine racism because people run games on people of there own race all the time.....
 forester40
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 134
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:17:09 PM
I am a racist and proud of it. It is about time real Canadians stood up for them selves and stop allowing all the human garbage into this country. Many Canadians in this country can't find work in our own country but we allow people in to take our jobs. We pay forieners more in welfare than we do a Canadian pensioners who worked in Canada for 40 years. The federal government has a policy of discriminating against white men. Crime rates are soaring because we allow criminal from other countries in here without checking their backgrounds. Go look it up if you don't believe me. This is WRONG!!
Yes I am a victim of racism
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 135
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:22:06 PM
Usually the nasty unsolicited emails I receive are a good indicator........
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 136
How do you tell if you're a victim of Racism?
Posted: 11/11/2009 7:08:52 AM
i believe there is only a very SMALL number of white people who object to black people because of their skin COLOR.

i believe the greater number of racists (actually bigots) are derived from their dislike of the black person's CULTURE.

if black people would work on making their culture much more positive in nature there would be less bigotry. until they do, racism and bigotry will remain.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 137
How do you tell if your a victim of Racism?
Posted: 11/11/2009 2:54:09 PM
huh????^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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