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 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 42
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Trying to keep this thread from being hijacked.
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 43
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:34:38 PM
OP:I ask that everyone that reads this that hasn't ever cheated post a quick reply, if not to restore my faith that there are others out there.




never have, never will...and i know never say never, and i know that never is a long time...yes it is


I agree with all the above...I never have...and I never will, also. YAYE!

I was the one cheated on...I know what it's like to have been done that way and that did nothing but INTENSIFY my reasons why I never will!
 abrethoffreshair
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 45
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/15/2007 7:46:22 PM
darylr...they will get theirs...in due time...because I firmly believe that what goes around certainly comes around.
 cindlouwho
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 46
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 4/15/2007 8:03:52 PM
never cheated, never would
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 48
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:46:39 AM


Msg: 25 -- I can understand how someone might be in a situation where it would appear to be the LESSER evil...


Appear to be the lesser evil? Cheating is tantamount to ENDING a relationship. Why not just end it up front and be done with it? The "lesser evil" is terminating it up front and honestly, rather that squirrelling about behind someone's back.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 49
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 6/11/2007 7:23:07 AM


Msg: 89 -- men will lie to get what they want (to get laid) and when they hurt someone in the process for their own selfish wants, they could care less, they have no conscience!


If this is TRULY the way you feel, why are you here looking? Why do you even bother? I'm just curious.
 CharleneAnn
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 51
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 7/27/2007 7:54:52 PM
I DON'T FRIGGING CHEAT!!!!

It is just excuse after excuse doesn't anyone take responsibility for themselves or actions anymore... One man told me his wife cheated which forced him to cheat on her.. I told him he was a jackass... that he should have divorced her sorry butt and then dated. HE WAS JUST AS BAD AS HER.. he had a choice.... sure... some would say her cheating made it easier for him to do it.. I say it just gave him a social excuse to do something wrong without consequences!!!!

I refused to date him, told him he had LOW MORAL FIBER!
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 52
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 7/27/2007 8:31:35 PM
This is such a trigger issue. Plus a lot of people never read the whole thread. (Otherwise 'why I'm leaving POF' would have died the ignoble death it deserves. lol)

Many people mistake the act for the person. The person is NOT an individual act, no matter how glorious or heinous it may be. To say that the only thing that defines a person is whether he or she cheated is the same as saying "all men are pigs" or "all women are either prudes or whores."

 Handsome_Devil
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 56
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/19/2007 11:53:37 PM
I cheat on my taxes every year, does that make me evil????
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 57
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:21:53 AM
I HAVE NEVER CHEATED AND NEVER WILL!!!


It's amazing how many replies start with this phrase. From some of the vitriol that comes after, I'd have to assume some people are either lying through their teeth or are scared sh*tless they might.

Not everyone is as pure as Joseph in the OT. OTOH Joseph could have been more worried about it causing him to lose his life if hubby found out.
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 59
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:53:26 AM
R hunter,

I was not addressing you, specifically, although I did use your post to get the quote.

Why is it you felt you had to defend yourself????
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 61
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 11:21:13 AM
As comtemporary and non traditional about relationships as I am, I would never cheat for two reasons.

1. I'd hate to have someone do it to me. I like to know all information about everything that involves my life and my health, and that is clearly deceptive. I could never make someone else live thru that...

2. Thru the natural course of my relationships, if I am interested in sleeping with a new person, it means must be done with the current one - once I'm done, I'm done. Sounds mean but at least it's not dishonest. So why sneak around? Better to just end the relationship and move on. I have never had the interest or patience to simultaneously entertain two people to that level.

I think most people that cheat are afraid of losing something or being alone. If they had nothing major to lose, and didn't mind being alone, most would just sever their ties and go after the next thing (or just enjoy being single instead of hanging on to someone they fell out of love with).
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 62
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 12:11:09 PM
There is no sugar coating - Cheaters are evil, mean spirited , selfish people that only care about themselves and do not give a sh## about their spouses,kids and families as a whole. The fact they will risk not just themselves but their spouse to disease is absolutely disgusting.
 TBro1965
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 64
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:59:30 PM
Well said by SlyKnight! Cheaters have no self respect or respect for others. There is no excuse. There is no "I didn't mean for it to happen, it just happened". Cheating is a CHOICE!!!! Nobody holds a gun to your head and tells you to cheat or else. There are no social pressures to cheat as the moron who posted the question implies. That is a copout to justify their own selfishness. Life isn't about jumping on the next train that looks better than the one you're on. These kind of people will never be satisfied with their lives. What they have is never good enough, never exciting enough, they're never rich enough, never have enough expensive toys...you get the picture.
What it boils down to is this: cheaters intentionally inflict emotional pain, misery, and dispair on people they once claimed to love for their own selfish gain. That's not something I'll ever have to answer to God for.
If you've been the cheater, you probably felt young, desireable and the excitement of the cheating. If you're the victim, you've suffered the pain and humiliation that I have felt and I sympathize with you.
If you're thinking of cheating, have the common courtesy and self respect of letting your spouse/girlfriend know that you are unhappy...and WHY you are unhappy. If you can't work it out, get divorced/break-up and then you can do what you want and nobody cares. Don't think that you can hide what you are doing. Once it's out that you are a cheater, you are a cheater for life and EVERYBODY talks about you...behind your back. Is that how you want to be remembered by friends, relatives...your kids?
 Rotagen
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 65
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:21:01 PM
I'm quasi-evil. Just 1 calorie, not evil enough.
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 66
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 4:20:04 PM
Well I was with one woman 27 years and married 23. I Although I can honestly say I had a few chances I never once cheated on her! Yes Im divorced now but it wasnt cheating that led to it. Been divorced 4 years and to this day really dont know why but it was a combination of things that snowballed. She filed but I was real close
 Habsfan777
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 68
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 4:34:20 PM
I've never cheated on anyone ever (even though in my very first relationship, when I was younger, my so-called boyfriend knocked-up my so-called best friend).....I still am faithful to this day.
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 69
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:36:37 PM
^^^^ I THINK he was saying that cheaters aren't evil, then gave two examples of people he DID consider EVIL.
 janedoexyz
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 70
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:50:14 PM
This is an interesting post. I have my side. I could be considered a cheater. I put up my profile on POF after he refused to give me a straight answer on what he does without me on nights and weekends. I'd see him for a total of 10 hours a week? and that was always during the weekday. Not enough to call it a "serious relationship" that he claimed we have.

He didn't listen to me when I tried to talk about it. He interrupted and talked over me in a loud voice. He loudly voiced that he's right and I'm wrong.

I got to the point where I decided that I don't need his permission to move on.

He found out about my profile and said that I cheated. He then excused his behavior by saying that I started the bad behavior. He said I cheated first.

He drives me crazy. I wasn't cheating. I was moving on. I told this to him but he ignores it and tells me different.

I may have to move leaving no forwarding address.

J.
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 71
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/21/2007 11:03:14 PM
Jane, he's a jerk. Don't move, just get a restraining order, then park his azz in jail if he violates it.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 72
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/22/2007 3:56:51 PM

Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?

Yes they are!! They are selfish, evil, inhumane careless, shallow people that care about themselves only!
 Mwahhh65
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 75
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:53:43 PM
Amen. :)

Well said. The love of my life, was and is....always going to be like she is. For just the reasons you listed. I suffered greatly, just like everyone always does. I hated her and loved her simultaneously.....reality became unreal, trust went out the window in all areas, never to fully return. For my own sanity I finally learned to just accept and love her just as she is, but also made the decision to put her in my rearview mirror. Love her as I did...I can never, nor will ever be with her in that sort of relationship again. It's still sad to see. I still talk to her occasionally, and she hasnt changed a bit. ( I don't go looking for her, but we run in the same social circles, it's inevitable). Now she's with yet another guy and I know him....and I feel sorry for him too. I'm sure he thinks that he's gonna be the only one, and I know better. I know how sick she is, and it has nothing to do with sex really either....

It was such a horrible experience. She would actually try and hook up right in front of me and expect me not to see or hear what I saw and heard, then lie to me and tell me I was " making it all up in my head. " Then smile, wink, and act like nothing was wrong...etc. Borderline sociopathy. To this day she tells me that she's " not sleeping with " the guy she's living with....what utter bullshit that is. LOL I mean, for one thing, why would I even care ? Why tell me that ? I didn't ask to be told. What purpose does THAT serve ? Yet, I know better....maybe it was the naked pictures of her that he has on the visor of his pickup ? I dunno....LOL When I asked her about that, her story was nothing short of amazing. If I didn't know better, I'd have bought it hook, line, and sinker. What a salesman !

That's all. BTW, he's HIV positive too. Hmmmmm.....wonder how many people I know are going to be affected by THAT ?

Mwahhh65
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 77
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/27/2007 8:02:58 PM
I have never cheated...however, I will say I was tempted when my marriage started to fail..had the opportunity...and my sense of right and wrong won, thank goodness.

I will say, it wasn't about the sex at all, it was about finding someone, I perceived at least, to care about me? Think I was hot, nice, good? Things my ex definitely didn't feel...
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