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 AUTHOR
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 59
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
R hunter,

I was not addressing you, specifically, although I did use your post to get the quote.

Why is it you felt you had to defend yourself????
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 61
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 11:21:13 AM
As comtemporary and non traditional about relationships as I am, I would never cheat for two reasons.

1. I'd hate to have someone do it to me. I like to know all information about everything that involves my life and my health, and that is clearly deceptive. I could never make someone else live thru that...

2. Thru the natural course of my relationships, if I am interested in sleeping with a new person, it means must be done with the current one - once I'm done, I'm done. Sounds mean but at least it's not dishonest. So why sneak around? Better to just end the relationship and move on. I have never had the interest or patience to simultaneously entertain two people to that level.

I think most people that cheat are afraid of losing something or being alone. If they had nothing major to lose, and didn't mind being alone, most would just sever their ties and go after the next thing (or just enjoy being single instead of hanging on to someone they fell out of love with).
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 62
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 12:11:09 PM
There is no sugar coating - Cheaters are evil, mean spirited , selfish people that only care about themselves and do not give a sh## about their spouses,kids and families as a whole. The fact they will risk not just themselves but their spouse to disease is absolutely disgusting.
 TBro1965
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 64
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:59:30 PM
Well said by SlyKnight! Cheaters have no self respect or respect for others. There is no excuse. There is no "I didn't mean for it to happen, it just happened". Cheating is a CHOICE!!!! Nobody holds a gun to your head and tells you to cheat or else. There are no social pressures to cheat as the moron who posted the question implies. That is a copout to justify their own selfishness. Life isn't about jumping on the next train that looks better than the one you're on. These kind of people will never be satisfied with their lives. What they have is never good enough, never exciting enough, they're never rich enough, never have enough expensive toys...you get the picture.
What it boils down to is this: cheaters intentionally inflict emotional pain, misery, and dispair on people they once claimed to love for their own selfish gain. That's not something I'll ever have to answer to God for.
If you've been the cheater, you probably felt young, desireable and the excitement of the cheating. If you're the victim, you've suffered the pain and humiliation that I have felt and I sympathize with you.
If you're thinking of cheating, have the common courtesy and self respect of letting your spouse/girlfriend know that you are unhappy...and WHY you are unhappy. If you can't work it out, get divorced/break-up and then you can do what you want and nobody cares. Don't think that you can hide what you are doing. Once it's out that you are a cheater, you are a cheater for life and EVERYBODY talks about you...behind your back. Is that how you want to be remembered by friends, relatives...your kids?
 Rotagen
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 65
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:21:01 PM
I'm quasi-evil. Just 1 calorie, not evil enough.
 kwh56
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 66
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 4:20:04 PM
Well I was with one woman 27 years and married 23. I Although I can honestly say I had a few chances I never once cheated on her! Yes Im divorced now but it wasnt cheating that led to it. Been divorced 4 years and to this day really dont know why but it was a combination of things that snowballed. She filed but I was real close
 Habsfan777
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 68
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 4:34:20 PM
I've never cheated on anyone ever (even though in my very first relationship, when I was younger, my so-called boyfriend knocked-up my so-called best friend).....I still am faithful to this day.
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 69
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:36:37 PM
^^^^ I THINK he was saying that cheaters aren't evil, then gave two examples of people he DID consider EVIL.
 janedoexyz
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 70
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:50:14 PM
This is an interesting post. I have my side. I could be considered a cheater. I put up my profile on POF after he refused to give me a straight answer on what he does without me on nights and weekends. I'd see him for a total of 10 hours a week? and that was always during the weekday. Not enough to call it a "serious relationship" that he claimed we have.

He didn't listen to me when I tried to talk about it. He interrupted and talked over me in a loud voice. He loudly voiced that he's right and I'm wrong.

I got to the point where I decided that I don't need his permission to move on.

He found out about my profile and said that I cheated. He then excused his behavior by saying that I started the bad behavior. He said I cheated first.

He drives me crazy. I wasn't cheating. I was moving on. I told this to him but he ignores it and tells me different.

I may have to move leaving no forwarding address.

J.
 Engage-me
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 71
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/21/2007 11:03:14 PM
Jane, he's a jerk. Don't move, just get a restraining order, then park his azz in jail if he violates it.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 72
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/22/2007 3:56:51 PM

Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?

Yes they are!! They are selfish, evil, inhumane careless, shallow people that care about themselves only!
 Mwahhh65
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 75
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:53:43 PM
Amen. :)

Well said. The love of my life, was and is....always going to be like she is. For just the reasons you listed. I suffered greatly, just like everyone always does. I hated her and loved her simultaneously.....reality became unreal, trust went out the window in all areas, never to fully return. For my own sanity I finally learned to just accept and love her just as she is, but also made the decision to put her in my rearview mirror. Love her as I did...I can never, nor will ever be with her in that sort of relationship again. It's still sad to see. I still talk to her occasionally, and she hasnt changed a bit. ( I don't go looking for her, but we run in the same social circles, it's inevitable). Now she's with yet another guy and I know him....and I feel sorry for him too. I'm sure he thinks that he's gonna be the only one, and I know better. I know how sick she is, and it has nothing to do with sex really either....

It was such a horrible experience. She would actually try and hook up right in front of me and expect me not to see or hear what I saw and heard, then lie to me and tell me I was " making it all up in my head. " Then smile, wink, and act like nothing was wrong...etc. Borderline sociopathy. To this day she tells me that she's " not sleeping with " the guy she's living with....what utter bullshit that is. LOL I mean, for one thing, why would I even care ? Why tell me that ? I didn't ask to be told. What purpose does THAT serve ? Yet, I know better....maybe it was the naked pictures of her that he has on the visor of his pickup ? I dunno....LOL When I asked her about that, her story was nothing short of amazing. If I didn't know better, I'd have bought it hook, line, and sinker. What a salesman !

That's all. BTW, he's HIV positive too. Hmmmmm.....wonder how many people I know are going to be affected by THAT ?

Mwahhh65
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 77
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/27/2007 8:02:58 PM
I have never cheated...however, I will say I was tempted when my marriage started to fail..had the opportunity...and my sense of right and wrong won, thank goodness.

I will say, it wasn't about the sex at all, it was about finding someone, I perceived at least, to care about me? Think I was hot, nice, good? Things my ex definitely didn't feel...
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 78
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/27/2007 8:05:53 PM
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil? ~ ranks76

> Picking women up on the street and driving them to a field and then raping them and brutalizing them and leaving them for dead - is an evil act.
> Dropping an atomic bomb on a city of a million people - men, women and children going about their business - and wiping them off the face of the earth - is an evil act.
> Breaking into an old woman's house while she's sleeping, dragging her out of bed and then sodomizing her and leaving her lying on the floor while you make your cowardly 'getaway' - is an evil act.
> All these acts have occurred in human history, some of them thousands and thousands of times.
> Cheating on your wife or husband? That is more of an immoral act, especially when you have pledged your troth, as they say, promised to be faithful and loyal and then choose to break that sacred trust.
> Evil is not a word I would use with that kind of situation, although some people might see it that way. Evil, in my opinion, is something else again.
> It is a shame on humanity, especially upon the male sex, that when faced with the choice of committing an act of kindness or an act of brutality, the latter is often the course taken. Instead of helping someone, instead of holding them up and making a life 'better', the choice is often made to ruin it and destroy it, to cause harm.
> I believe that humanity is generally 'sinking' into depths of morality and debaseness from which we will probably not recover. We have reached levels of cruelty that leave experienced police officers traumatized and requiring counselling. Children knifing their teachers; children shooting their classmates, sometimes en masse; young people murdering their parents; and all kinds of social calamities we are reading about in the newspapers and on television. Shock upon shock hardens us, inures us, to the increasing wave of violence.
> Why, after all these thousands of years of 'making the grade' as human beings, of experience and of trial and error, why aren't we more evolved? Why haven't we moved up the ladder of evolution, drawing upon kindness instead of savagery? We have a choice how we wish to act, and we can demonstrate sublime and blissful generosity and charity towards our fellow human beings as easily as anything else - and yet so many of us, men in particular, choose to destroy, to put down, to hurt and tear apart.

> Blessings to everyone. - Peter.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 80
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:41:34 AM
I've never cheated. I never will. I honestly don't think I've ever been cheated on too, but I did have one boyfriend who I thought was trying to cheat, or at least putting himself in that position (and he had very little self-control), so if he didn't, it was probably only because of the other woman. We were intending that relationship to end after the summer anyway because he was going to move away, so I kind of regret being with him but I kind of don't too, because it was a very interesting experience, and it was what it was. But every other boyfriend I totally trusted, and I keep "the faith" that there are enough of the strongly non-cheater types out there. I think I screen for this very well (when it comes to serious boyfriends). I also get involved in very intense relationships. I would think it would be more of a temptation when the two people in a relationship spend a lot of time apart and one or the other finds it lacking in companionship and sexual activity. Now that I think about it, it's probably good for couples to stay in touch every day. People are so worried about giving the other person their space these days, and staying independent individuals and all that, but I think that if two people checked in with each other all the time, it's really good for their relationship.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 81
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/29/2007 4:02:29 AM
Cheaters never win and a winner never cheats.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 87
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/30/2007 1:38:42 PM
Never cheated. And if someone does cheat, they should be sincere enough to let the other person in their live [sic] know about it. ~ joli2

> I'm thinking that, if they were sincere, they wouldn't cheat in the first place.

> Peter.
 naeco
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 88
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:17:14 PM
As bad as cheating is, cheaters aren't "evil". "Evil" is when the man puts a woman in the hospital by beating her half to death because he didn't like the dinner she cooked.
 Aqtu12
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 89
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:54:06 PM
after 18 years of marriage My relationship fell apart after my formal Ex started Cheating , the sad part was that she knew that he was married and had children , she didnt care and neither did he. I forgave him and still he continued.... so we got a divorce and he married her. Now they both cheat on each other, well, that is life! Cheating violates a holy God. Cheating and godliness cannot live in peace. One must give in to the other. The Lord hates cheating, but he delights in honesty. Cheating is cheating no matter how you define it.
 UR 2 girls away from 3sum
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 91
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:21:36 AM

I don't believe all cheaters are evil as I'm sure that a huge percentage of people have cheated on someone at some point.
So the more people that cheat, the less "evil" it is? I guess that means morality is a matter of popular vote!
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 92
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/31/2007 8:44:05 AM
Ok,. I got through about 6 pages of this, before some of the blatant self-testimonials began churning the coffee I'm drinking into waves of nausea. Out of the 10 pages here, you can boil all this crap down to about a page of actual, honest answers.
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil... no. They're just human like the rest of us. People behave badly every day. Does cheating ruin relationships? Definately. Once cheated on, if you don't get rid of them, you alway wonder. If your love is strong, you MAY be able to overcome it, but it's always there, and never goes away. The people that say they don't cheat and NEVER will, are usually the ones you'll have to watch.(note, I said "usually" so I'm not calling anyone out.) That's like making the statement "if we don't have trust, what do we have"
MY experience has been, hearing that, you're looking at a manipulator, trying to get around the radar and get a free ride on your trust and emotion, to do whatever they want. Lesson learned there: "You Relate it, don't state it"or "If you're hearing it, you're NOT getting it" Words/type are cheap... how many typed words are in these forums, representing thoughts. ideas, & ideals? How many in this thread alone? You can talk/type anything,.actions, are what make the pulse race, the brow sweat, the butthole pucker.. just My pointless drift on it.. Thank You,.. (bows)
 UR 2 girls away from 3sum
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 93
Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:27:16 AM
^^^ HAHAHA I ran out of Ben & Jerry's so I f*cked the UPS guy!!!
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 95
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/16/2009 11:34:40 AM

If husbands didn't turn out to be such big P____ after getting married, maybe we wouldn't look else where!

Absolutely nothing justifies cheating. If your husband is such a big P--- after you're married, then end the marriage *before* looking elsewhere.

But if you're cheating on him, then you're the one who is the P---.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 96
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Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 3/16/2009 4:19:19 PM
Yes, there are still good folks out in the world.
We just dig and hide in our bunkers deep.
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