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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?      Home login  
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 Rae Rae
Joined: 9/5/2006
Msg: 26
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I put "brutal honesty" into the same category as "constructive criticism", "no offense...but", and "I am not trying to be mean..but" etc.

I get snubbed all the time on here and that is way better than watching someone pull out the old soap box and tell me how superior they are, which is what they are essentially doing when they use any of these phrases.
If you are the only one bragging about you, chances are it's all a figment of your imagination.
 upstream
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 27
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 3/22/2007 10:19:59 AM
Hmmm, I find that usually the "no offense...but" or "I am not trying to be mean...but" criticism isn't really constructive. Constructive criticism points out some strong areas where your approach is really effective as well as some areas for improvement. Knowing what it is specifically about that area that makes it ineffective (and this is just in their opinion, no-one is the end all, be all authority on anything in life) and gives you useful tips for approaches that might be more effective in accomplishing your goal. Also, constructive criticism is typically asked for, not forced on someone. If it's just forced on someone, it's useless - the person has to want tips to improve their performance or they'll just block it out anyway.
 calgarytek
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 28
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 3/22/2007 1:53:01 PM
People fail to use tact and discretion. That's a major failing. Try taking a course in communication.
 NateC
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 29
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:33:40 PM
"no offense, but" isn't constructive criticism, it's just criticism. Constructive criticism is about spotting weakness and then demonstrating how said weaknesses can be corrected, no?

And tact has nothing to do with it, either.

I'm usually not put off by brutal honesty unless it's just pure BS.

Face it, there's going to be people out there who you put off and who put you off. Every single one of us has been "brutally honest" at one point or another and I personally find this thread to be hypocritical. I may not know you guys, and I know you're probably trying to kinda vent about people who've been "brutally honest" with you, but people are people.

We are imperfect, and no matter how down to earth we are, we're each going to deliberately step on at least one person in life. Each and every one of us. What was done in the past was done in the past; it's better to move on because if we dwell on that we won't have time to improve ourselves.

Opinions are like a$$holes; everybody's got one, some smell worse than others. If you allow another person's opinion to ruin your day, then you have to learn to chill out.

Sorry, I'm just being brutally honest ;)
 Algy
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 30
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 3/23/2007 1:42:45 PM
Didn't MetaBlue have a thread dealing with this subject not so long ago?

As I said somewhere else, the word "honest" means more than factually correct or 'true'. It includes righteous and upright conduct. It includes character and virtue. A statement, regardless of it's veracity, is neither righteous nor upright if it is used without consideration for the effect on the listener.
 Kukkeeme
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 31
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 4/18/2007 12:16:55 PM
this is my phrase......I'm direct with diplomacy! A person can be brutally honest without being brutal. I would be mortified if I thought I hurt someone's feelings with my opinion. Most times in my job I need to be brutally honest, but there is a way to be honest with care!
 MB58SC
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 32
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Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 4/21/2007 5:17:54 PM
People ought to focus less on the "brutal" in "brutal honesty" and more on the "honesty if it's happiness they're after.
 Chillin_inCO
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 33
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 4/27/2007 11:30:20 AM
I agree with most of what you said for sure. I'm very honest and sometimes it gets me in trouble, but there is a difference between using your words to humiliate or demean someone and being honest. I only put input in if it is asked for and never go off trying to hurt someones feelings. If i don't like something i'll say i don't like it, but never say others are wrong for it or stuff like that.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 34
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 4/27/2007 11:49:52 AM
It's really not that hard to be honest without being nasty about it.
 Ladyhawke72
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 35
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Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 4/27/2007 8:58:18 PM
It actually has a technical term now - it's called online bullying.

ONLINE BULLYING. And many of you reading this practice it :P
Brutal honesty. Is this just an excuse to be mean spirited?
Posted: 4/27/2007 10:13:14 PM
Life is too short to be worrying about others and there issues, and I always remember this if the brutal truth bothers me "THE TRUTH HURST........ BUT FIRST IT WILL P**S YOU OFF" Just because some one is brutaly honest dosen't me they are mean spirited, I have actualy found in life that some of the people whom I've meet that are brutaly honest are the ones who care the most!!!!!!!!!

I have found brutal honesty to be a learning tool. If some one is brutaly honest with me then I just take it in stride, until I can get some quited time and can meditate on it for a while. I Look at my part in it. Some times I find that I needed to hear what they had to say and use it as a self improvement tool and some times I just need to let it go.



TTFN! Ta Ta 4 Now!!!!!
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