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 AUTHOR
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 26
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
GABOY8119 Here ya go.

Taglines are supposed to be eye catching. You should avoid words like looking/searching/fishing/need... And go for something that says something about you. If you can't think of something on your own turn to your favourite movie/book/song/poem whatever. If a lady knows what you're talking about then it's a great conversation starter.

Oh what to say about your pictures... Please take down the pictures of your kids. I find it creepy when people have posted pictures of their kids alone. It's ok if it's you and your kids goofing around but if it's just the kids, then something seems off. Please take them down. Oh and I'm not here to date your truck. Pleasue just put up pictures of yourself.

You have an all right amount of interests listed.. Though hanging out haveing fun... it should be Hanging out HAVING fun...

On to your "about me".

hey how's it goin? anyway i am just a country boy,and a single father of 2 wonderful kids that has a good heart and with love to give. i love to spend time and play with my kids and love the outdoors,fishing,camping,nascar, i love to bowl shoot pool,play poker and just looking for someone to spend time with,someone who shares the same interests i do.

Ok, first of all, don't relist ALL of your interests again in your about me section. We already know what they are.
All right, so you're looking for someone to spend time with, and the only requirement is that she shares the same interests as you? Nothing else matters?

I'm going to say it again... A profile has three key elements to it. And any good/great profile that you read will have those things in it.

*A section describing you. How are you different from every other guy out here, what do you offer that others can't claim? The more we know about you the more we can relate to you.
*A section talking about how you like to spend your time and why you like to spend your time doing those things. Again the more we know about you the better.
*A section talking about what you're looking for in your partner. The more we know about that the better. We don't like wasting our time, and I'm sure you don't like wasting yours.

The first date section is just as important as the main body of your profile. It's in this section that a woman can garner what kind of date she'd go on with you and what to expect.

Good luck!
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 27
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/5/2007 8:35:03 PM
Well at least you caught it eventually Bill, that's what counts.

There was nothing sarcastic about my comment on Comatoso's interests. I normally recommend around 10. She did well.

You're a little nuts aren't you Bill Butler... I just offer a reviewing service.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 28
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/5/2007 8:35:39 PM
Best yet? What do you mean WRY guy?
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 29
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/5/2007 8:41:43 PM
STARRYNIGHTJEN -

Please don't post pictures of your pets. We are not here to date them (hopefully!)... I have issues with that just like I have issues with the pictures of children. If you click with someone, then they will meet your pets/children at some point, and you can always exchange pictures later on, privately. Also your pictures are grainy.. We can't make you out clearly. And that's no good.

What you want, picture wise is, ONE clear close up face shot. ONE clear head to body shot, to show off your body type. Then some action shots. You can have a friend help you out with that.

Good set of interests.

All right. A profile has three key elements to it. And any good/great profile that you read will have these 3 things in it.

*A section describing you. How are you different from every other girl out here, what do you offer that others can't claim? The more they know about you the more they (men) can relate to you.
*A section talking about how you like to spend your time and why you like to spend your time doing those things. Again the more they know about you the better.
*A section talking about what you're looking for in your partner. The more we know about that the better. Men don't like wasting their time, and I'm sure you don't like wasting yours.

The first date section is just as important as the main body of your profile. It's in this section that a man can garner what kind of date he'd go on with you and what to expect.

On to your main section.

I'm a 21 year old grad student living in Thunder Bay. I'm originally from Ottawa. I have a degree in 20th Century European History & Sociology and I am currently taking a certificate program in the public relations field.

We already know you're 21, you're female and the city in which you live. No need to repeat information that's already known.

I enjoy art, classical music, exploring the city, learning new things, and spending time with friends. I'm pretty much a geek, and I'm damn proud to admit it. I am really into science fiction, reading, debating, and learning bits of useless trivia.

What is your favourite style of art? Favourite kind of music?

I'm looking to get to know someone as friends and then possibly more if we click.

That's great, but what would be needed to make that click happen? What are you looking for in a partner. What are you looking for in a friend. There are all important things.

Message me if you would like to know more. Dare ya!

Men are not stupid. They know to message you if they want to know more. Please, just take it out.

Good luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 30
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:11:54 PM
SHINERAGGIE

All right... Here is one for you.

I am looking for a way to meet new people and if nothing else gain new friendships, but enough of the what and why and on to the who. I am currently working as an equine vet technician, and I love it. I work pretty much full time and go to school full time. I am studying to become a vet, so I have a long road ahead of me there, but I know it will be worth it in the long run. I think it is better to sacrifice a little now to reap the rewards later.

I enjoy a lot of different things and I am a pretty open person, as far as, trying new things goes. I enjoy riding horses and all different outdoor activities such as camping tubing and water skiing, I aslo love sports mostly baseball and football, but I will watch others if I am invited to. As far as, indoor type stuff I am pretty into movies and like to kick back and relax from time to time. I enjoy going out to bars and hanging out with friends from time to time, but it is not something that I do on a weekly basis. If you want to know anything else send me a message. Hope to hear from you soon.[b/]

You've got a good start there. But why don't you tell us more about your personality and what kind of person you're looking for. The more we know about you the better. Honestly.

Take out the "If you want to know anything else, send me a message. Hope to hear from you soon."... We know what to do if we are curious about anything you said. So telling us what to do is just unnecessary.

Remember... A profile has three key elements to it. And any good/great profile that you read will have those things in it.

*A section describing you. How are you different from every other guy out here, what do you offer that others can't claim? The more we know about you the more we can relate to you.
*A section talking about how you like to spend your time and why you like to spend your time doing those things. Again the more we know about you the better.
*A section talking about what you're looking for in your partner. The more we know about that the better. We don't like wasting our time, and I'm sure you don't like wasting yours.

The first date section is just as important as the main body of your profile. It's in this section that a woman can garner what kind of date she'd go on with you and what to expect.

Good luck!
 Froinlaven!!!
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 31
view profile
History
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:20:39 PM
I'd be pleased if you would review my profile. Thanks! :-)
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 32
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:16:06 PM
FROINLAVEN!!!- This one came off the back of a truck.

Oh, while your tagline is eyecatching I have no idea what it means. So I'm not sure how to comment on that one. But that might be a good thing. Women might chose to message you for the explaination of what a Froinlaven is and then, possibly, how you could speak to one.

You could do with some more pictures. The one you have is good, but it's better as a body shot than the desired close up face shot. Ideally you should have one close up shot of your face, one showing off your body type and a few "action" shots.

And now on the the main section of your profile.

I'm a freelance breakdancer with training in building demolition and interperative dance. I love the collected works of Silverstein and will drop anything to create light through sheer force of will. I keep others hanging on my every word. My plans for world domination havn't come to fruition yet, but victory will soon be mine! When not worried about complex algorhythms, I like to unravel and straighten slinkys. I had a friend who snorted Fun-Dip. I had my hand caught in a car's trunk and had it began to drive off. I'm not allergic to Kryptonite.

This section started out right (I'm a freelance breakdancer with training in building demolition and interperative dance). Then you completely lost me. It's like you started speaking in tongues. You've jumped all over the place and it's not endearing.
I suggest talking more about breakdancing, building demolition, and interperative dance. Explain how you got into it and what you love about it. Though it should not be the first thing anyone reads about you. Ideally your profile would start with a paragraph about you. Your personality. Who you are not what you do.

OK, hey, i'm just a busy guy, trying someting out of my character. My friends would probably (ok, who am I kidding, have) called me a shy guy when I first get to know you. Then, I turn into someone who always has a joke for the occasion. I really am musically inclined and If you want to know what the screen name means, ask. I'm good at obscure movie and tv trivia. We'll see what happens...

I dislike reading in profiles this (among other) statement(s)... "My friends say"... "I've been told".... Can't you tell us about yourself without having to go by what someone else thinks of you? Don't you know yourself well enough by now?

All right, so you're a shy guy. What helps you warm up around people? What kind of jokes do you tend to have up your sleeve?

FROINLAVEN, Ideally a profile will have these 3 key elements to it. Any good/great profile you read will include these thing.

FIRST PARAGRAPH - A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a woman want to talk to you and meet you over any other guy on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

SECOND PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

THIRD PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us what kind of woman you're looking for. This is really handy when we are browsing through profiles. We don't like contacting men when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

And last but not least the FIRST DATE section. This is just as important as your "about me"... It's with this section (first date) and the about me section that we figure out what kind of person you are, and what to expect when out with you. These date ideas tell us whether you're a funny, romantic, sporty///etc kind of guy. Use it to your advantage.

I wish you luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 33
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:41:22 PM
You're welcome to Patricia and Sweet.

I'll try to get around to yours again sweet... Depends on how many I have on the go.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 34
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:42:30 PM
NOCHRISCO - Here ya go!

All right your tagline, while not eye catching, it's not common. You could either work on this or not. I'm neutral. It doesn't make me want to talk to you it doesn't make me want to exit your profile as fast as I can. So what you do with this, is your call.

You pictures... Are ok. Ideally you want one close up face shot. One clearly showing off your body type (I'm not sure the boxer/mag/drinking picture counts) and a few "action" shots.

Your profile.

Thanks for making it this far. I know it's long, but is spending a few minutes to get to know someone, less time than it takes to burn toast, too much to ask. I think not.

You're thanking me before I've even started? Makes me want to stop reading since I already have the validation for getting to the start. Take it out. Just start it at the "about me".

About me
"I hope I die before I get old". Pete Townsend, 61 year old co-founder of "The Who", can thank his lucky charms for that unfulfilled wish, as he plays to a city near you, this year. I prefer, "Hope I get old before I die". Consequently our happily-ever-after won't include, Running with the Bulls, skydiving, gator wrestling, or any other activity where slight miscalculation results in certain death. I do promise 100% support, from the sidelines, and will keep your life insurance up to date.


Ok, don't like this paragraph either. You've taken the time to type in that added "About me" and yet so far I've got nothing about you. This is a pointless opener. I'm completely disinterested in reading the rest of your profile. However in the name of a good review I shall weather the storm.

The world is my oyster and I will search its ends to find you, my pearl, here...on my PC. I've only left the continental U.S. once, resulting in a 4day/3night stint in a underground jail. Separated only by 4 inch bars, cat-like rats watched in wait, as we dined on mashed sardines and banana bread, chased with a frothy goats milk and tea elixir. The heat was oppressive, the red-bugs, all consuming, and our toilet, a bucket. The only bright spot was evenings spent chanting, with our Rastafarian cell mates. Any aspirations of world travel will be met with resistance and ultimately squashed.

Ok, I'm going to say this yet again. In profiles it's important to FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE. Negativity is unattractive. This whole paragraph is unattractive. All I can say is... Take it out!

I strive to be open minded, clowns aside, and age is of little consequence, as I have been with someone both half, and twice my age. It was my 35th year and I learned two things. Never underestimate what you are capable of when stranded outside Macon, Ga., at 3 A.M., in a freezing rain, trying to hitch a ride, and "close is no cigar" in matters of statuary law. On second thought, like aged would be better.

This section I didn't mind so much... I don't like that you said you "strive to be open minded" when in the previous paragraph (jokingly or not) you blatantly showed that you are not in fact, open minded.

Robert Heinlein wrote of a group of people whose lives spanned 10,000 years. Living in constant fear of discovery, they had to artificially age themselves; their secret hidden, even from their children and mates, for this extended mortality couldn't be shared or passed on. "Time Enough for Love" was the title, and that they certainly had. I don't, and I've grown weary of the game. First glance, touch, kiss, etcetera, all give me butterflies; more reminiscent of younger days hugging the toilet, than those so highly prized on this site. If our cyber days ever shift to reality, I propose we meet at a neutral 5 star location, and without uttering a word, get all the agreed upon firsts out of the way, leaving my dignity and lunch intact.

Ugh. You are so negative. TAKE IT OUT. Focus on the positive. That's you're new mantra. Repeat it 20 times in the morning, 20 times at your lunch hour and 20 times before going to bed for 3 months. Then try the whole dating thing again.

I try to practice a healthy lifestyle and you should to, if for no other reason, than to strike a balance. Vegan, holistic, and organic, are all acceptable, as long as you don't cross over to the dark side of wellness care. You know who your are. Liver flushes, coffee enemas, P&B shakes, and urine therapy, to name a few, will disqualify you. Why? Because you're way to into your poo.

Again, instead of telling us what you're not looking for, trying telling us what you are looking for. Focus on the positive. Focus on the positive, focus on the positive.

About you
You should be no less than 2, or more than 6 inches shorter than I. Although 6'3" and 3'6" seem intriguing, the novelty would soon fade, reducing us to nothing more than people-watcher chum.


That's not funny.

You don't have to enjoy all sports, just all, sport-championships. Be it football, basketball, tennis, curling, badminton, scrabble, or the Scripts-Howard spelling bee, I'm there, and you should be too, for quality time together.

I could enjoy the finer material things in life, but realize I alone, never will. I give too much. Your material self-sufficiency and fiscal sucess is a must, surpassed only by your will to share, with me. Priceless.


Your beauty will be timeless and undeniable. With a smile that melts the heart of Kings and Queens alike, and a a** that could stop a freight train, your unique marry of Audrey Hepburn and Jennifer Lopez could only be described as heaven sent.

You should be smart, but not too smart. An IQ of 140 or above wouldn't work. You know your smarter. I know your smarter, but you would console me by saying we are equal (smart) as you tilt your head and smile. You should be about 100-Equal. :)

Lets review, I'm looking for a smart, sexy, rich, healthy, giving, 5'2" to 5'6" sports fanatic who finds clowns unbearable. Will negotiate.


Wow, so tell me why you're single again. Is it that faultless charm of yours?

I advice a complete profile re-write. Taking into account what should be in a profile.

FIRST PARAGRAPH - A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a woman want to talk to you and meet you over any other guy on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

SECOND PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

THIRD PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us what kind of woman you're looking for. This is really handy when we are browsing through profiles. We don't like contacting men when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

And last but not least the FIRST DATE section. This is just as important as your "about me"... It's with this section (first date) and the about me section that we figure out what kind of person you are, and what to expect when out with you. These date ideas tell us whether you're a funny, romantic, sporty///etc kind of guy. Use it to your advantage.

Good luck, you need it.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 35
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:59:25 PM
RYAN832 This ones for you.

Good tagline. If someone agrees with you then they will message you for your take on why he's a great artist.

Your pictures are of a good range. So I have no comments there.

On to your profile.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am a 30 year old bachelor, who lives in the foothills of the beautiful San Gabriel Mountains. I have a bachelors degree in history, and I have a multiple subject teaching credential. I do plan on returning to school to get a masters in Education. I am currently pursuing a career as an elementary school teacher. I am very passionate about teaching and truly love what I do. Obviously, I will not make a lot of money in my lifetime, but I will make enough money to enjoy life. Also, I will have plenty of time off to travel, go backpacking and camping every summer, and truly enjoy life. I have found that time is worth more to me than money. I do work hard when it is time to work, but I also enjoy having time to slow down and enjoy what our world gives us.

Don't thank someone for starting to read your profile. It doesn't have the particular "nice guy" effect that you're looking for.

Ok, we know you're 30. Since your age is something that's displayed above your picture. We also know you're a bachelor since we can see that you're single. Please don't repeat information in your about me that we already know from the information via a drop down list. It bores us.

All in all aisde from the repition it's a good paragraph. Though not what an opener should be. The first paragraph in your profile should be all about who you are as a person, not what you do.

I am 5'10" 195 with light brown hair and brown eyes. I do try to work out at the gym at least 4 times a week. I do try to lead an active life. On Sundays, I do play soccer in an adult league. I do enjoy many other outdoor activities, such as hiking, fishing, camping, going to Dodger games, and much more. I also enjoy museums, the theatre, movies, and various concerts. If you want a kind, gentle, intelligent man, I am that man. I do open doors and will pull your seat for you, and do other small things that a gentleman does. Obviously, there is a lot more to me, but you can find that out in time.

Again, we already know your height and your body type. And personally the second I see someone's weight listed in their profile I click "next"... It comes off as shallow. We also know the color of your hair from your pictures and eye color doesn't matter. It's filler. It's not needed. After you take out the physical parts... You're left with a good middle section.

I am looking for a woman around my age so someone from 22 to 32. I don't have any children, and I am only interested in dating a woman who does not have any children. I would like to date a woman who leads an active life and would be interested in camping, backpacking, hiking, and getting outside as often as possible.

It's good that you listed what you're looking for in a partner. Many people forget about that crucial aspect.

Remember all great profiles have these elements to it.

*A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a woman want to talk to you and meet you over any other guy on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

*This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

* This is where you tell us what kind of woman you're looking for. This is really handy when we are browsing through profiles. We don't like contacting men when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

And last but not least the FIRST DATE section. This is just as important as your "about me"... It's with this section (first date) and the about me section that we figure out what kind of person you are, and what to expect when out with you. These date ideas tell us whether you're a funny, romantic, sporty///etc kind of guy. Use it to your advantage.

Good luck!
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 36
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:09:06 PM
RBOLANDERJR - A review just for you.

Good tagline.

Good range of pictures.

YOUR PROFILE REVIEW:

Im just posting this to say hello. My name is rick. I understand if you are looking for a gentleman. I do not claim to be one, but I do hold the door open for a lady. I am completely and utterly respectful, but I do make jokes and should be treated as such. I have a good sense of humor and can be slightly sarcastic at times. im simple. i can have just as much fun going on a dinner cruise and sharing a fine wine over a candle lit dinner as staying at home in my pjs on my couch eating a bowl of ice cream watching re-runs. it is also fun to go to a coffee shop sometimes and watch the weird people that go by. sometimes i will make up weird backstories for them complete with funny faces and voices to pass the time and to bring a smile from the company im with.

All right, from that jumbled paragraph... I'm not entirely sure what I took away. The first thing I'd suggest is running your profile through a program that checks spelling and grammer. Next I'd suggest writing each sentance out on it's own and group like thoughts together. That way it makes it easier to read.

So for example...

FIRST PARAGRAPH - A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a woman want to talk to you and meet you over any other guy on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

SECOND PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

THIRD PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us what kind of woman you're looking for. This is really handy when we are browsing through profiles. We don't like contacting men when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

i have an athletic build, i used to model, i exercise at the gym every other day to attempt at keeping in shape. I like snowboarding, rock climbing, and riding my motorcycle.

Ok, we don't care that you used to model. I promise. Besides that information can be shared in Private messaging.

To fill this section out why don't you tell us why you like snowboarding, rock climbing, and riding your motorcycle.

Im looking for a great person that i can share good experiences with. someone who doesnt mind being spoiled or having an intelligent conversation.

Well what makes a person great to you? The more information we have about the person you're looking for, the better the results you'll have. Only the people who fit your bill will contact you. Here it's all about giving us information without being too specific.

AIM: rickybo18
You can also find some of my acting credits on IMDB: Rick Bolander


Oh goodness. Save the chat usernames and the IMDB credit infor for Private message.

Good luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 37
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:26:07 PM
STRAWBERRYSC4U - Coming right up.

Tag lines should be eye catching. If you can't think of something on your own use something from you favourite movie/book/poem/song anything. If a gentleman gets what you're talking about then it's a great conversation starter. In your tag line you should avoid using words like searching/looking/need/want... It sends off a desperate signal.

Ok, no pictures, but you do say you have them upon request. Fair enough.

On to the main section.

I'm outgoing, affectionate, warm hearted, friendly and fun to be around. I can be a spontanious person or do planned outings. I am the kind of person that feels comfortable in almost any atmosphere - I can go to a sporting event, sports bar, a nice restuarant, or an elegant dinner party, etc... I like to meet new people.

All right, good start. This gave us information about you right off the bat. I enjoy that.

I love dancing the night away, whether to fast or slow music. I like to dance int the rain on a warm summer's day. But there is nothing like slow dancing in a man's arms or cuddling near a fire or while watching a movie. I love to walk on a beach at night, holding hands in the moonlight. I am a hopeless romantic. I like candle lit dinners at home as well as cozy, romantic restuarants. I love the smell of fresh cut flowers. I know that it might sound a little crazy but I love the smell of fresh cut grass in the summer time.

Typo - INT - There shouldn't be a "T"...

Otherwise a good middle paragraph.

I believe that in order to have a dating relationship, you must 1st be friends. A man must be a gentleman - opening doors and such. All ladies should be treated like ladies. Don't disrepect me and expect to stay friends with me.

Focus on the positive. People should know that you don't disrespect your friends. There is no point saying that if they disrespect you, then the friendship will end. It's too negative for a profile.

Instead you could say... "I'm a little old fashioned in some respects. I believe that before you have a romantic relationship, the two parties should be friends first. A man must be a gentleman - Opening door, sliding out chairs and such, Ladies should be treated like ladies."

I am not high maintenance by no means. I coach youth cheerleaders, as a volunteer during football season. I also sing in the church choir. I didn't say that I sing good, I just said that I sing. So don't ask me to sing for you. lol

Ok, it's my experience that when you tell someone you're NOT one thing, you end up being just that. I'd take out the "I'm not high maintenance" comment. If you're truly not high maintenance then the fellow you're talking with will certainly pick up on that. There is no need to state it in your profile.

A sense of humor is a must. If you can't laugh and you can't make me laugh, then it's a waist of time.

Typo : WAIST = WASTE.

Why don't you tell us whatelse you're looking for in a partner/friend. The more we know, the better your results will be.

I have pictures upon request.

It's great that you let them know that. For most people it's "No Pic, No Reply"...

If you are looking for casual sex, DON'T LOOK HERE!

Please take this out. You can always weed out the bad apples in messages. In profiles you have to focus on the Positive.

Good luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 38
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:40:27 PM
BILLBUTLER here is your 2 1/2 profile review. I'm only going to comment on things I don't like. therefore I won't be copying and pasting your whole profile, just the sections I've got a comment on.


I am a successful business owner and my business is auto identification (bar code related) custom labelling, packaging. After seven years as a sales rep giving me valuable knowledge and experience, the risk I took venturing out on my own over twelve years ago has worked out well for me.

Again this is not needed in your profile. You already have a great paragraph talking about your work and how you view it. This section can be talked about in messages. It does nothing for your profile.


Music: I have many interests. Music is more like a passion. I have eclectic taste in music. I grew up in the music business, and have always been around it. I own a ridiculous number of CDs. Something for everyone.

Art: Another passion. I love and appreciate all types of art. I own art, and have created my own art. I have creative spurts and love to create something beautiful and unique.

Books and literature: I love to read, although I need to make an extra effort to schedule a substantial amount of time with a book it is still a passion. Aeroplanes, airports and beaches are all opportunities to get some reading done as well. I try to read something each day if only 10 minutes before bed each night. Bios, memoirs, history, and well written fiction (Tom Wolfe, John Irving to mention a couple authors I enjoy) I especially like to get book recommendations from my friends...always a source of something out there I would otherwise missed.


Ok, while at first I was serious about you taking this out, I will now settle for you shortening your "Books and Literature" section to the length of your "music" and "art" sections. A line or two is really all that's needed. this is what it should look like.

Books and literature: I love to read, although I need to make an extra effort to schedule a substantial amount of time with a book it is still a passion. Bios, memoirs, history, and well written fiction (Tom Wolfe, John Irving to mention a couple authors I enjoy).

A new passion for me is writing, although I have always liked to write, this past summer I discovered a burning passion for it, writing a couple short stories, one of which I am expanding on and is fast becoming a novel.

Un-needed... Talk about your passion for writing in messages.

I can't go without mentioning coffee. Love it. No, I do not consider decaf, Maxwell House or Folgers "coffee" Neither do I favour Starbucks, but it is decent and acceptable coffee and necessary to go there sometimes. Espresso quad shots ..and some half & half...

I get you love coffee, but this just makes you sound like a snob. Save it for messaging, or better yet, for that initial first meeting, where you scowl into the paper cup at the local coffee shop/dive.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 39
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:51:43 PM
VSK13 - Just for you.

Good tag line.

Ok pictures, I don't think the one of you sitting on your couch is needed, you can neither see your face clearly or your body. I'd remove it.

Currently i'm a college student at Columbia College. I haven't determined what my major is going to be, but believe me, i'm thinking about it. I've thought at times it would be cool to be a veterinarian, because i love animals. Other times i've thought i wanted to be a doctor, because i want to help people as much as i can. I really just don't know at this point, to be honest.

This shows that you're indecisive. Not a good quality. Just simply say you're still trying to find your groove in the higher education system.

As far as interests go, I like sports, movies, and music. Some of my favorite sports are baseball, tennis (i've been really fanatical about it lately, playing 4-6 times a week, weather permitting), football, and soccer. My favorite movies include Donnie Darko, Amelie (foreign films are great), Goodfellas, V for Vendetta (one of the most underrated films of the last 10 years), American Beauty, ALL Tarantino films (he's an absolute genius of cinema). As far as comedies, we will not get along if you don't like Office Space at least, and to a degree Dumb and Dumber. I can see how Dumb and Dumber might rub some people the wrong way, but Office Space is absolute classic humor, and if you don't like it you simply must not like to laugh. As far as music goes, I like lots of different kinds of music. Some of my favorite bands are Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Radiohead, Incubus, and Muse.

Instead of listing your interests here, try listing them in the "Interests" section. The more of your interests that you have listed there, the more hits your profile will get when a lady does a search.
In your profile you should only talk about your FAVOURITE interests, why you love them and so on. Same thing with movies/music/books. Only talk about your favourite kind, and only minimally. This is just a taste, you don't want the profile to fill you up.

Now, for what i'm looking for in a partner. I'm looking for someone at least somewhat intelligent (i mean, you don't have to be a rocket scientist or anything, but at least be able to hold up your end of the conversation), who doesn't mind animals (i own a cat and want more), and someone who isn't necessarily all about the bar/party scene. That stuff is alright sometimes, and i like going out too, but sometimes it's cool to just hang out and home and make jokes about bad movies. That's another thing, my partner will ideally enjoy watching movies too, because i'm a huge movie fan. I can't really see myself dating someone that smokes (although i guess it's theoretically a possibility), and i'd prefer that my partner at least somewhat takes care of their body. You don't have to be a supermodel or anything like that, i know i'm not, but i do spend a decent amount of time keeping in shape, and i'd like someone who can keep up with me and enjoys physical activity. Anyway, i guess that's all for now... hit me up if you're interested.

Ok, this is good. It gives us an Idea of what you're looking for. I lied it up until the... "Anyway, i guess that's all for not... hit me up if you're interested". WE KNOW WHAT TO DO IF WE ARE INTERESTED. We know how to click that "Contact _____" button. We really don't like being told what to do... So just take it out.

Good profile. Good luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 40
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:55:17 PM
Nochrisco,

First of all, you're welcome. Of course the review is yours to do with as you please. You can either take my advice or not. It's of no consequence. I've already given the review.

Again, there is no point in thanking them for getting to that point. Since all it entails is scrolling the page down, just the tiniest of bits. There is nothing to be thanked for.

I will accept your grade and your criticism for there is nothing I can do about it.

-Pink
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 41
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/6/2007 9:02:09 PM
PAPILLONMOM

Taglines should not be used to describe yourself, unless it's your outlook on life. Your tag line isn't eye catching. If you can't think of something original and eye catching, look to those books you love and give us a quote.

Good pictures, they both clearly show your face and your body type.

On to the body of your profile.

My ideal would be a non-smoking man that has a sense of humor and is down-to-earth, honest and sincere. He should be good conversationalist and outgoing. Must like dogs; I have a 5 pound papillon.

Good. You're telling us what you want. Good.

I am honest to a fault, a one-man woman, with a good sense of humor, who enjoys a good conversation, and is a great listener. As you can see from my pictures I enjoy square dancing, because it is socially interactive, a good form of exercise, and a lot of fun.

This should come before "What you're looking for"... People want to know about you before they find out what you're looking for in a partner. Put this section first.

I am looking for friends first, with a long-term relationship in the future.

Fair enough.

I'd beef up your profile a bit, Why don't you tell us why you love your papillion so much. What got you statrted on square dancing... Tell us more about you as a person. What kind of person you are and how you love to spend your time. This is a good structure to go by...

FIRST PARAGRAPH - A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a man want to talk to you and meet you over any other gal on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

SECOND PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

THIRD PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us what kind of man you're looking for. This is really handy when "we" are browsing through profiles. "We" don't like contacting people when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

And last but not least the FIRST DATE section. This is just as important as your "about me"... It's with this section (first date) and the about me section that we figure out what kind of person you are, and what to expect when out with you. These date ideas tell us whether you're a funny, romantic, sporty...etc... Use it to your advantage.

Good Luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 42
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/7/2007 9:07:56 AM
MERCURIALSIMIAN -

Your Review.

Ok, your tagline is original, so you're fine there.

Your pictures are ok, I like that we can see your face, but I'd get a better body shot of you. One where we can still make out your face (so we know it's you)... The only picture I'd suggest thinking about taking away, is number 4... Since we can't see your face or your body type, it's a little pointless.

Welcome, welcome!

I'd describe myself as capricious, pragmatic, witty, trusting and loyal, and a little bit naughty. Some may disagree, but you'll only find out by getting to know me! I'm straight talking, enjoy having a laugh but don't 'play games', and like to think I have my ego well and truly in check!


All right, well generally good opening paragraph. Except you play games. Dating is a game and anyone who says it isn't is fooling themself. It's one big giant game. So I'd just snip that bit out.

I'm pretty active, I enjoy keeping fit, cooking - Asian food in particular, I'm no MasterChef but it's edible and sometimes tasty. I'm an outdoor person and love sports, motorsports particularly. I got my competition license at the end of last year, so watch out Fernando Alonso! If you love cars, we'll get on like a house on fire. I love music, everything from The Chemical Brothers to Kelis, Beastie boys, and the Arctic Monkeys. I like going to gigs, festivals and occasionally clubs, but more often go out to lively bars, comedy nights, and shows. I'm lucky enough to have travelled far and wide, but never for any real length of time, because there's no place like home.
I try to get as much out of life as possible, but that doesn't mean you'll never find me with my feet up in front of the TV.


Great. I enjoyed this section. It's wonderfully well written and it made me want to keep reading. I wouldn't suggest changing a thing.

I'm on Plentyoffish in the hope of genuinely meeting someone who likes to take care of herself and her loved ones, is open, active and can laugh at herself, to share good times with.

It's good that you mention what you're looking for, but I'd go into further detail. Are those all the qualities you're looking for? If you do chose to expand on this section, remember to stay away from what you're not looking for. In profiles you want to focus on the positive not the negative.

FIRST DATE
I think it's always best to let the lady decide, but given the choice I'd probably suggest meeting up in London. Go for a drink and perhaps something to eat. If it's during the day then maybe wander round the markets and do a bit of people watching, or if at night move on to somewhere lively for a boogie!

Good suggestion and good luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 43
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Posted: 3/7/2007 9:17:13 AM
PATRICIA694972,

Your new pictures are much better than your old ones... But do you think you could try craking a smile... I know that 99% of smiling pictures, just don't seem to work, and it's something I have to work on as well. A smiling face is a happy face, the happier someone look the more attractive they are. So show us those pearly whites and crack a grin.

Right now, while you're working on your updated profile, I can't really review it because that's not the final version. I can however give you an easy structure to follow. You can always add your own spice to the mix...

FIRST PARAGRAPH - A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a man want to talk to you and meet you over any other gal on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

SECOND PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

THIRD PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us what kind of man you're looking for. This is really handy when "we" are browsing through profiles. "We" don't like contacting people when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

Good luck Patricia.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 44
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/7/2007 9:24:37 AM
STRAWBERRYSC4U - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across as saying that you should post pictures. I was just admitting that it was ok that you didn't have any up, since you were willing to share them in private messages.
If you don't feel comfortable with something, don't do it.

I don't mind that you copied and pasted my little suggestion, it's there for you to use if you chose to.

You're welcome for the review and I wish you luck.
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 45
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/7/2007 9:35:26 AM
RRAK_58

Tag lines should be eye catching. If you can't think of something on your own use something from you favourite movie/book/poem/song anything. If a someone gets what you're talking about then it's a great conversation starter. In your tag line you should avoid using words like searching/looking/need/want... Also you should try to avoid describing yourself in the tagline, unless you're letting people know about your outlook on life.

Ok, you don't have a picture up. And you don't say that you have one on request. At least have a picture. I understand that people can be uncomfortable posting a picture of themselves on a dating site, but you should at least have one that way people know who they are talking to. For most people you it's "No Pic, No Reply".
Ideally you would have one clearly showing your face in a close up, one clearly showing off your body type, and a few action shots. Whether or not you have these for public viewing is your choice. But you should have them available.

Yout interests should be separated with a comma, and you should strive to have at least 10 interests listed. The more of your interests that are listed the more hits your profile will get when woman does a search. Also the more interests you have the more we know about you, and it's easier to start a conversation. So please add to your interests and remember to separate them with a comma.

You should also avoid using the term "Prefer not to say" anywhere on your profile. If it says that next to "Married/smoker/kids/drink/drugs" We read "YES!"... So if you do smoke then just say you smoke. It's really not the end of the world.

Now on to the main section of your profile.

i'm a down to earth person,very open minded like to try different things in life
beleive in good family values and friends enjoy a night of dancing or a romantic dinner,long walks on the beach and watch the sunset or sunrise. i also enjoy outdoor
activity,taking pictures,camping fishing.


Well the first thing I would suggest is running your profile through a spelling/grammer checking device. Spelling and grammer is very important. You have to make sure all your "I's" are capitolized and so forth.

Ok well there isn't much to comment on here but don't take that as a good sign. Because I can't find anything to say means that if you messaged me I wouldn't be able to find anything to say/ask you about. So I suggest a re-write. Start from scratch... Except it's only pretend scratch, I'm going to give you the recipe.

Here you go.

FIRST PARAGRAPH - A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a woman want to talk to you and meet you over any other guy on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

SECOND PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

THIRD PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us what kind of woman you're looking for. This is really handy when we are browsing through profiles. We don't like contacting men when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

And last but not least the FIRST DATE section. This is just as important as your "about me"... It's with this section (first date) and the about me section that we figure out what kind of person you are, and what to expect when out with you. These date ideas tell us whether you're a funny, romantic, sporty///etc kind of guy. Use it to your advantage.

Good luck and when you're done, bring it back here and we shall see how it works!

-Pink
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 46
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/7/2007 6:35:38 PM
STRAWBERRYSC4U -

I think one of us just got our wires crossed. That's all.

You're welcome for the porfile review. I enjoy doing them... So anytime.

Hope you had a great night.

MERCURIALSIMIAN - You're welcome for the review, I offered you accepted, I enjoy it, it might help you. Good luck!
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 47
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/7/2007 6:51:42 PM
WILDBILLDJ5 - A review for you.

Ok, So your tagline was enjoyable I wouldn't change a thing about that.

Your pictures are all right, but I'd be nice to see your cbody from head to toe, and you smiling. The people who are smiling always appear more attractive. Also the "A*s family picture" just isn't all that funny... I'd take it out.

Saying "Too many to list" as your only interest isn't very helpful. This is where someone browsing your profile would get an idea of what you enjoyed doing with your time. You should have around 10 interests listed, remember to separate them with comma's. The more of your interests that you have listed the more hits your profile will get when a lady does a search.

Ok, on to your profile.

I am a fun,fun loving guy ....have been a DJ........ been in the bar biz ....enjoy the nightlife but dont make a habit of it .........I have only one addiction .......DR PEPPER.............lol like all kinds of music........roadtrip as often as i can .....usually to a gambling destination !!!!('') HONESTY IS EVERYTHING........... you should be at peace with your past ....fun ...good natured...adventurous....romantic ....affectionate....i will be what i expect from you ............

Ok, it's 3 periods (...) and no more. There are spaces after punctuation and capitolization at the start of every "sentance". You want to make sure you use FULL SENTANCES. Run your profile through a program that checks spelling and grammer, as both of these things are very important.

Ok, I'd scrap your whole profile. And like another review I gave, I suggest you start over, but use this structure...

FIRST PARAGRAPH - A section about YOU. Who you are as a person. What qualities you have that would make a woman want to talk to you and meet you over any other guy on this site. This paragraph is where you set yourself apart from the rest of the fish out there.

SECOND PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us a little bit about your job, interests and how you enjoy spending your time. The more we know about you the more we can relate to. And that's a good thing.

THIRD PARAGRAPH - This is where you tell us what kind of woman you're looking for. This is really handy when we are browsing through profiles. We don't like contacting men when we are not sure whether we will be too tall, too short, too slim, too big, too anything... We want to know that we have a chance. So please, tell us what you're looking for.

And last but not least the FIRST DATE section. This is just as important as your "about me"... It's with this section (first date) and the about me section that we figure out what kind of person you are, and what to expect when out with you. These date ideas tell us whether you're a funny, romantic, sporty///etc kind of guy. Use it to your advantage.

Good luck and when you're done, bring it back here and we shall see how it works!

-Pink
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 48
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/7/2007 6:54:55 PM
OK, I just want to let you all know that for the next week or so I won't have access to a computer.
I wanted to make sure you knew that I WOULD get around to reviewing your profile, but you might have to wait a couple of days.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,

-Pink
 PinkSalmon
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 50
You want it? I got it... PROFILE REVIEWS!
Posted: 3/7/2007 7:30:18 PM
WILDBILLDJ5 - You ask how can one so young be so wise?

I grew up with some wise adults. Some of that was bound to rub off on me.
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