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 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 15
how on earth?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Maybe they are actually listening and believing what some people say about "love at first sight". Ooops, sorry, I guess I should have said listening and believing women when they say "love at first sight" is possible. Silly men,,,actually listening. Shame on them!!!

Seriously, they are probably just trying something that they did hear somewhere from someone about such things. You can't blame em, for trying that is.
 Rain4Eva
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 17
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History
how on earth?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:03:00 PM
Well from what I have seen in my life people tend to say "I love you" to try and make girls feel more confortable to have sex with them, even if they say they aren't saying it for that. Or, well I can't really think of any other reasons, unless they meant it or were saying it because they were "In love" with the idea of you.

I have never been in love and I am waiting lol. On a different note, I've asked my brother in law what love felt like, saying "well I love my mom alot, does it feel like that?" His response was "Yea, it feels like that, but it's totally different".

If I were you, I'd just take the compliment that someone fell for you that soon.
~Anthony.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 18
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how on earth?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:08:18 PM
It's something in the water up here in B.C. Canada or the B.C. Bud they must be stoned! I too have had it happen...
 Rebellious
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 21
how on earth?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:39:46 PM
You suck at picking men. Most women suck at picking men.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 26
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how on earth?
Posted: 3/13/2007 9:18:46 PM
What????????
Can you try this again??????
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 27
how on earth?
Posted: 3/13/2007 9:48:41 PM
Well now ........

I think people should STFU and not got too silly too fast ........... BUT

I for one will know VERY FAST if cross paths with a potential match.

I will also know what is on her noodle very fast. If I don’t know what is on her mind - it is NOT a potential match and she will not be making any post about me like this - because I won’t turn into a whimpy clueless guy.

The type of guy that the OP is talking about has ZERO sense of what is going on (not going on) and he needs a big cup of “get a clue”.

I have a pretty good track record with relative few (but long two totalled 33 years) relationships. They have ALL (even as a kid and gfriends) been instant two way matches. None of them were any kind of guesswork - they were all known on both sides - INSTANTLY.

If either side needs to do a bunch of "head scratching" it is not a real two way match. In a real two way match - both sides feel very fortunate to have crossed paths and there is very little to think about.

There are NO games when there is a real two way match in the making - both sides know better and would not do anything to screw it up.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 28
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how on earth?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:46:41 AM
Well Hun...I plan the wedding...pick-up the honeymoon tickets...As he arrives at the Church I call from the airport to tell him I am running away!

*No man was hurt in this mishap...
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 30
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how on earth?
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:43:10 AM
Hey blue eyes

Your question has a simple answer. I didn't read all the other answers so stop me if you've heard this one.

I checked your pix and bio. You're obviously hot. We men are very visual creatures.
My guess is the men once they saw you wanted you for their own. You were the best looking woman they've ever been out with.

Knowing women are mostly romantic and think with their hearts, the men put the "I love you" out there quick hoping they'd establish an exclusive relationship with you.

Instead of working, it put you off and you wondered what kind of moron would say such a thing...how about a desperate insecure one?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 34
how on earth?
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:15:39 PM
Blueyesopen's friend probably has it already figured it out for her when she says

Think all the boys are confusing LOVE with admiration and lust


Maybe quite dating BOYS and try the men out for awhile. They are hard to find, but I'm sure when you find one, you will be surprised.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 40
how on earth?
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:06:03 AM

You suck at picking men.

Very perceptive and most likely true. I think you are out-of-their league so of course they are desperate to have you. You need the confidence to date more desirable men. Men that don't think you are the living end and men and can take you or leave you.
 VelcroHead
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 42
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how on earth?
Posted: 3/15/2007 11:16:48 AM
Wow, after all these posts, not a single person has suggested that these guys might simply be LONELY? Not lust, loneliness. There are people who always need to have a partner, especially if they've been used to having someone for a few years or more.

Are they recently out of a serious relationship? If so, they could be trying to fill a void subconsciously... As a result, they unknowingly try to guilt someone into more dates\realtionship through pity.

The old rebound phase - hell, I went through it too for a bit. Never told anyone I loved them, but I definitely saw more connection than there was... I was just smart enough to keep it in check, and really analyze my thoughts at home before I put my foot in my mouth.
 VelcroHead
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 44
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how on earth?
Posted: 3/15/2007 3:29:10 PM
^ it can be one month, five months, a year, two years...It doesn't matter. What matters is this:

Are they just now getting themselves back in the game? If so, they're still rebounding, no matter what they say! The only way they will EVER snap out of it is A> getting shot down by putting their foot in their mouth several times or B> going against their "morals" and just getting laid, at least once.

Sex is like air - no big deal unless you're not getting any.
 VelcroHead
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 46
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how on earth?
Posted: 3/15/2007 4:04:44 PM
^ I agree with you that it's not necessarily a sex thing. That's why I originally stated loneliness, but it could also be lust...

One of the reasons people have sex with no strings is for the ILLUSION of feeling connected with someone, even if it's only for a brief time. People out of serious relationships really miss that connection. That's why just getting laid snaps them out of their perceived "love"... Hormones can seriously cloud judgement.

It's one of the reasons I can't do one night stands... If there's no care present, I can't get into it - there has to be some kind of knowledge of the person, and motives have to be clear.

Sorry, I'm hijacking this thread.... Apologies!



By the way BlueEyes, I get lots of chuckles for my name... Chose it for several reasons though! The most obvious being my hair...

 Xarzy
Joined: 4/24/2005
Msg: 49
how on earth?
Posted: 3/15/2007 5:19:13 PM
some guys think that liking someone means loving some one. I personally dont say I love you till Im sure of it and even then I hesitate in case it isnt right. If a guy tells you 'I love you' after sex then its because he really really liked the sex, not necesarilly because he really likes you!
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 51
how on earth?
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:14:31 PM
if i'm not picking men properly..which ,well come one now..obviously i can even see that?..LOL...what kinda screening process am i missing?

Blueeyes, it does little good to attempt to screen men with your profile. You need to screen them after they contact you.

First I’m going to critique your profile. Overall, your profile is outstanding. I would delete the following: “but if you tell me on our second date you love me...well be prepared..lol..i'll call BS...expect it..and i don't think that's unreasonable! LOL

i'd like to meet a man that doesn't have manic depression, doesn't need my social insurance number, doesn't need my passwords, and doesn't take pills to keep sane!! LOl..just kidding around.”

It’s not going to prevent those men from contacting you, and I consider it a slight negative since it gives the impression that is your experience which implies you may be attracted to those type of men.

Make photo 2 primary. Nice smile; pretty face; you really look nice. I question photo 1, it doesn’t bother me, however, to some men, the kiss may appear as a come on. Photo 3 is good. In photo 4, you appear unfriendly so you might consider replacing it with a photo that makes you appear less harsh. And, photo 5 is a definite keeper.

Now as for the type of man you should choose. First, you are very pretty; you write well indicating you smart. You are a cut above. Therefore, you deserve a man that is confident and successful. There is no question in my mind that for you they are available. You just have to work harder to catch one. I don’t know how to instill confidence in you, if in fact that is needed. However, clearly you are dating men that think you are the living end. Maybe it’s kindness which, as your profile states, is part of your personality. Nevertheless, you need to start dating men that you can be proud of and makes you feel you are doing well.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 53
how on earth?
Posted: 3/16/2007 4:31:49 AM
Blueeyes, you are welcome. And actually, you are not doing much wrong. You profile is very good as is, although I think it could be slightly improved as I suggested. The main thing is that I believe you are dating guys somewhat less desirable than you deserve.

Men are much the same at most levels of desirability. We have a good feel for our level so, if someone extra special comes along, we want to catch her before she escapes. If I could date Sara Hughes, I would probably go bonkers over her. I'd try to be cool, but my impulse would be getting her to marry me now before she gets away. We don't act like that with our equals because we are always hoping to do a little better.

I feel certain, if the guys you mentioned were dating average women, they would not be pressuring them to get married. You are just too good of a catch for them to pass up. Men equally desirable to you will not act like that.

Now one final thing I'm sure you are aware of. Women can date up. Typically, men date down for sex but marry equals or near equals. While I believe you definitely need to date more desirable men, I don't believe you should date the most desirable you can date if you are seeking a long-term relationship with them. I think a good rule is the guys should definitely be interested and willing to invest substantial time and effort to catch you. However, they should not think you are the living end.
 Smjle
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 60
how on earth?
Posted: 3/16/2007 3:53:10 PM

...myself have never thought myself to be out of anyones league..nor should i..i am no better or ever will be any better than anyone else in this world.

I tend to think in terms of the "Bell Curve" but your viewpoint certainly has merit. In any event, not all the men you date will be pushy up front. And, in my opinion, since you don't find the pushy ones acceptable, you will do fine.
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