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 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 19
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The MIRRORS in our livesPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
well, i am sure many of you women have been irritated at one point in time or another at your moms! so as you get older, try posting this on your wall:

mirror, mirror on the wall...
i am my mother after all!

all the things she did that used to totally irritate me, i find "myself" doing now.
 .tiamat.
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 23
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The MIRRORS in our lives
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:45:16 AM

The Mirror theory can be used as a tool for all of us to see who we really are. I know people don't want to accept the possibility of this theory, because it would make them face who they really are, Good and Bad.


I find the wording on this statement a little problematic. I agree with the first part, we all want to find out who we really are... but 'Good and Bad'? This makes the assumption that we all have inherently 'bad' parts to us. Which is untrue. We are wounded and damaged, yes, but that is NOT a part of us.

And I think this is the main reason why so many people reject the idea of the mirror. Our society automatically labels people who are wounded or damaged as somehow 'bad', and no one wants to be labeled that way. And in fact, it's not the truth. When we've been hurt by whatever circumstances in our lives, especially as children, it's through no fault of our own. We need to make a distinction between what is part of who we really are, and what is just an imposition.

So when you find yourself surrounded by people who are abusive, liers, cheaters, etc, and you reject the mirror as a tool of learning because 'that's not me, I would never do that' - well, you're right, but perhaps what the mirror is showing you is that this is not the first time in your life you've had to deal with people like this. You have an opportunity to heal something in yourself, and the mirror always provides information. You just need to get out of your own way and stop owning everything in the mirror, it's not personal, it's just information.
 Dr.Strange
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 29
The MIRRORS in our lives
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:53:05 AM
And is ACCEPTING them only the beginning of this statement? Or would you agree it is "accept" in others and "confront and begin to change these aspects within us" so that these people tend to fall away or exit our lives all together. And ... WHERE do I start??


Acknowledge what these traits are first are they going to make or break the relationship ??The Mirrors concept doesn't work for Me,maybe I'm seeing something in You all that I don't like about myself. on paper I'm sure it is a good concept for some,
A little compromise in any relationship is good.But Sam, never give up who you are just because someone see's a trait in you that they don't like,Change because you want to change ,who is to say some other mirror might not reflect back and see what they like .I have to go comb my hair in the mirror.
 Indigo rose
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 30
The MIRRORS in our lives
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:19:11 AM
Some mirrors are just freaking cracked!
When I see something I don't like in someone it is usually something totally opposite of my values. Liars,trouble makers,hateful,hurtful types!
 Dr.Strange
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 32
The MIRRORS in our lives
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:27:36 AM

Thank you Tiffifish, Sombient and Dr. Strange for your comments. I greatly appreciate your replies to my emails as well, and will happily and enthusiastically immerse myself in inner reflection


Yes...many of Us need to work on that inner reflection thing for sure,
you know that one reflection that says.."One Flew over the Coo-Coo's nest"....
 Tsitsistas
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 37
The MIRRORS in our lives
Posted: 3/22/2007 12:30:00 AM
I have to agree with the above poster ^^^^^ somewhat and I'll take it in yet another direction of thought.

I think its simply amazing how you all give so much credit to "SELF".

How can one remotely agree with this crap when all externals elements , known and unknown, are being completely unacknowledged. Here's some questions for you. Who brings these mirrors to you? Self smelf (phooey)

I think "the mirrors" would make awesome reading literature for insomniacs, instant cure.
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 43
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The MIRRORS in our lives
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:24:44 AM
hey sam, sometimes if you see a part of yourself in others that you might not like, you might also be able to forgive yourself. it's often so much easier to forgive others isn't it? so if you share an annoying or even deeply negative quality, then by forgiving yourself as well--you can go forward with the rest of your life. i think this is the essence of many 12 step meetings. a saying amongst 12 steppers is stick with the winners (don't shy away from them as you implied!). you also deserve to see the good in yourself. by sticking with the winners, you will.
 good guy75
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 71
The MIRRORS in our lives
Posted: 8/6/2008 8:46:57 AM
yes i totally agree.but here is a question for you.so why do so many women continue to be with are date the wrong men.you get the i have been burned to many times so why keep doing the samething.it is like the drug attact saying they will not do drugs again but they do eventhough they know it is not good.
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