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 Wavfact
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 25
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Seems to me if you feel the need to investigate your bf, your shouldn't be with him in the first place! Imagine having some girl sneeking around town doing credit checks, background checks, driver license checks, etc.. on you!? OMG!! Psycho!!

Every relationship begins on a foundation of trust you know.. If I felt the need to run a background check on someone, its time to move on!
 Neysha61
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 26
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:43:46 AM
^^^ Bravo! Well said sir.
TRUST as well as faith, hope and love begin within yourself.
If someone in your past has broken your trust, made you doubt your fatih and in the end did not love you, my advice to you is that you should not drag all that along into the next relationship. Probably won't get off the ground with all that weighing it down.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 27
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:47:42 PM
It is easy for men to say there is no need to run a background check. Put yourself in the place of a woman. Put yourself in the place of a woman that has been atteacked, hit, abused emotionally, or raped.

How safe are we? Only as safe as we choose. This may involve running a background check to make sure the person is honest and not a criminal with a checkered past. People are capable of most everything. Think of the woman that disappear to never be found. Think of identity theft . Who are these people that prey upon others? . Perhaps a member of POF? Do you want to take the chance?
 Neysha61
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 28
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:47:27 PM
I personally wouldn't, and am not the least interested in a small minded, small brained, big mouth fool anyways so whatever their thinking, if I don't mind, it don't matter.
 Wavfact
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 29
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 9/25/2008 10:11:46 AM
The people who say "I've got nothing to hide" usualy have the most to hide? lol
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 30
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:36:16 AM
Seems to me if you feel the need to investigate your bf, your shouldn't be with him in the first place!


Scary times we live in..... why don't we bring our last pay stub with us on that date too?

BTW the last one that lived with me had demolished her credit.... with a cell phone.
 Neysha61
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 31
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 9/29/2008 2:17:40 PM
Two things stick out about that ^^^^
She took time to get to know him. NOT jumping in where Angels fear to tread.
And he was honest. Even if it was eventually.
Think about the facts, not the feelings.
How can you honestly say I know someone from the internet and I am soooooooo into them after a few phone talks. Blechy.

CREEPY!!!
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 32
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:19:19 PM
A year back I started chatting with someone on here that was hell bent on getting me to call her 'cell phone'... so that way she claimed that she could get any information she wanted about me as she formerly worked in the banking industry & still had ties there.
Usually I have a rule of thumb never to call cell numbers, never know where they are located with my limited dialing area.

She said she needed this info so I may pass the approval of 'inspector 12'.

In the month we chatted she changed her E-Mail once, & changed her Y ID twice which made me wonder about her, she was a real 'Type A' driver.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 33
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/23/2008 8:13:04 PM
Perhaps the real issue here is just using common sense? What happened to people making good sound decisions? Do we need a background check to make careful thoughtful decisions? Seems like we want someone to do the thinking for us? Really we can make decisions on our own.
 CEO of Hoagie Inc.
Joined: 7/30/2007
Msg: 34
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/23/2008 11:53:47 PM
See thats part of the problem. People today expect everything to be cut and dry and done for them. I wonder how many of us fishies would be here today if our parents had these tools at their disposal? I'd be willing to bet that there are quite a few that wouldn't be. Just a little food for thought. As far as it being the responsible thing for a single parent to do a background check, I can't buy into that, you can cite all the references or experiences you want what it boils down to is making the right decision. If you can not discern what type of person you are dating by the time they meet your children then perhaps you should take things slower until you are absolutely sure.
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 35
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/25/2008 6:51:33 AM
Well, disregarding what is legal and what is not, or my personal opinion on background checks, I wouldnt have any issues with it at all. I am totally honest and upfront. No secrets. I would want the same back.

But, unfortunately, most people aren't that open and free with telling about their lives, good or bad. I have been dating on and off for 6 yrs. I find most are not honest and only tell what they want you to know, being scared you will run off if they knew it all. I found out deal breakers way down the road I would have liked to have known upfront. I wasted a lot of time with a few men and had emotions to deal with that I wouldn't have otherwise had I known some things to begin with. I was strong enough, though, to protect myself and leave the relationships. Some get stuck due to feelings and stay. Not good.

Would I run a background check on someone? No. I am smart enough to know red flags, do my own research, (you can find lots of public information on people on the internet. ) ask the right questions and question indirectly and directly family friends and relatives of the ones I date. I use other tools too to find out what I need to know. But, unfortunately, you cant get all the information immediately. That is the catch.

I am not sure investigating someone professionally is a good thing. How do you know the person can get all the information needed? And most the stuff they would find you could anyway. Prison, jail and divorce and other court records are usually public. You can find out things like how many homes they own and if any back taxes and other things online. IF you really want to bother. If they haven't broken laws or entered the legal system that isn't going to help you totally. Even if you find out that stuff and all is good, that doesn't tell character, or tell if they lie, or if they hate, or many other things. Best to develop internal instincts and good communication skill and red flag alerts. That should get you what you need to know. If the other party isn't communicative, you might consider not continuing the relationship. Unless you like that sort of thing, that is.

Common sense here. Problem is, many don't either have it or use it!!
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 36
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/25/2008 10:08:38 AM
In giving out phone numbers it is really better to give out your cell phone number. The reason being is that if you do a reverse search on a cell phone it only gives the provider of the service and the city which you subscribed. In giving out a land line number, unless you have a private number, the person can hit on who the number belongs to and the address the phone is listed. From that you can go to the local municipal and common pleas court to search the person, also to the auditor's site to determine if they own the property, and a recorders search.


Why is it that it's assumed that everyone has a Cell?? This kind of gives an imbalance to the odds then if you only have a Land Line?

I agree there's a lot of single parents that scare me.


I agree :)
 whatsallthis
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 37
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/26/2008 3:00:05 PM
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

"Judge not, lest ye be judged."
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 38
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/26/2008 5:30:20 PM
Read the statement about " Judge not, test ye be judged"

The idea of checking a persons back ground is to protect yourself. This is not an issue of judging a person . Why not protest yourself ? There are people out there waiting for the opportunity to commit a crime. Question is will you be the next victim?
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 39
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/19/2009 7:20:19 AM
The safety of your family , your safety all are very impotant. If you have the opportuntiy to check it makes sense. Why would you risk everything for a person you have just met? The time spent checking a person's backgroung might be the best decision you ever make
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 40
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:42:08 AM
The safety of your family , your safety all are very impotant. If you have the opportuntiy to check it makes sense. Why would you risk everything for a person you have just met? The time spent checking a person's backgroung might be the best decision you ever make


This advice coming from a person calling me paranoid?

Diesel, I wouldn't want any former felons serving me my chicken wings either!
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 41
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/18/2010 8:31:01 AM
The safety of your family , your safety all are very impotant. If you have the opportuntiy to check it makes sense. Why would you risk everything for a person you have just met? The time spent checking a person's backgroung might be the best decision you ever make


Face it, background checks are part of life. it happens all of the time.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 42
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/18/2010 10:34:48 AM
I have a friend at POF that was dating a cop. He was a captain according to the badge he wore on his belt like a neat detective. Turns out he was never on a police force at all and of course he was married.


Too many folks with no morals out there to risk your safety. It only takes one jerk to mess you up but good!
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 43
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/18/2010 10:54:24 AM
Climbs~ If you read my post, it has nothing to do with a background check, it has everything to do with it happening without knowledge, and the lies that can come from it.


If that is the case why confuse background checks with lies? People will lie no matter what if that is their nature. background checks are designed to ensure people are not telling a lie.

Do we ask to see papers that verify we are all disease free before we fire up our boners?

Do we?
Do we?

We all don't!!!!!


Now that we are aware of STDs it is a good idea to protect yourself. Good common sense dicates you know what you are getting from your partner and that they know about you.
 paul477
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 44
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/22/2010 10:55:35 AM
I do believe that from the stories told on here alone, it is obvious that background checks are important. I have no problem with someone checking my criminal background out. That is something that every mother with children or grandchildren around should know. I do have a problem with them checking the financial background. My finances are my business until such time as it becomes a 'we' situation where we are planning to get married. I am quite willing to share that information if you feel the need to know.....just ask me.

I have googled my screen name and it came up with other individuals information as well. I have also done my first and last name and again, it came up with other individuals information/not mine, as well. Mine is not that common of a name but I do know of one other individual in the county that shares it so I can only imagine how many more there might be in the whole state of Ohio. I hate to think what may be out there, that may come up in a search if the person weren't running it with my full name and social security number. At least a potential employer has that information so they hopefully get the right individual's information.

A female friend of mine asked me how she can get this other guys personal information such as his mothers and sisters full names so she can be sure she has the right guy from a background check she had run.........you just can't trust your findings all the time! When Mr. Itch talks about lies being spread......I can easily understand how the person got misinformed (although, that doesn't excuse the spreading of untruths). If there is any question about something you find out, ask/confront them about it.

As for me.......if I ask you for a date, then you can ask me for my full name and birthday so you can run a criminal check. I want you to know that you are safe but I also want you to be upfront with me. Deal?
 Classie Sassie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 45
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/22/2010 11:46:44 AM
SolticeCookie THANK YOU FOR THE INFO ! It just helped me very much in a pending court case I have you just made my day!
 Karaokebear
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 46
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 1/23/2010 4:51:55 PM
I once met someone who checked into my background and she found out we were both married our original spouses on the same day in the same town. Weird!

If you've been job hunting at all recently, you may find a lot of advice telling you that potential employers are researching candidates' "digital footprint", even checking Facebook and Twitter postings. The implication is that those pages, even if you use them to keep in touch with family and friends, better be squeaky clean and conform to the proper "corporate image". All the illegal questions, they can find out (age, religious or political affiliation). What if you are a staunch Republican and the decision maker is an equally staunch Democrat, and here you are a member of the Tea Party Fan Page? To top that off, I read articles that suggest acting younger, pretending you don't know who the Beatles, or even U2 and Kurt Cobain are. Heaven forbid you take a newspaper to read while you are waiting, as only "old" people read newspapers. That tipsy picture on vacation? Better not be there!
Bringing it back to dating, get used to the fact that your life is an open book, and there really is no privacy. If you're writing an attractive dating profile, write an attractive Facebook page as well. I'll usually invite people I meet to friend me, that way they get to know a little more about me and vice versa.
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 47
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/8/2010 3:41:50 AM
Posted: 9/30/2008 619 PM
A year back I started chatting with someone on here that was hell bent on getting me to call her 'cell phone'... so that way she claimed that she could get any information she wanted about me as she formerly worked in the banking industry & still had ties there.
Usually I have a rule of thumb never to call cell numbers, never know where they are located with my limited dialing area.

She said she needed this info so I may pass the approval of 'inspector 12'.

In the month we chatted she changed her E-Mail once, & changed her Y ID twice which made me wonder about her, she was a real 'Type A' driver.
.


Unusual twist to this, I read about this person in the Court Docket my local paper the other day...


• (Name & Address Deleted): In one case before this court she pleaded guilty to two counts of identity fraud, and one count each of misuse of credit cards, receiving stolen property and forgery for taking the person identifying information of two people between (Dates Deleted) 2009; using an elderly person's credit card and forging that person's signature; and holding jewelry and coins taken from an elderly person. In a separate case she pleaded guilty to three counts of theft, two counts of forgery, and one count each of grand theft of a motor vehicle, theft from an elderly or disabled person and identity fraud against an elderly victim for stealing a 2003 (Make & Model Deleted) from a (City Deleted) car dealer; stealing a blank check in (City Deleted) on (Date Deleted), 2009; forging the signature of one or two elderly victims in a number of financial transactions in early 2010 and taking their personal identifying information; stealing credit cards from two more victims and forging additional signatures. (Judge Name Deleted) sentenced (Name Deleted) to three years of community control that includes 100 days in the (County Name Deleted) Jail. Additional orders include: placement in the Mental Health Case Management Program;
abstain from using alcohol and non-prescribed drugs and submit to random screens for same; orders to take all prescribed medications;
attend psychiatric and other counseling as ordered; have no contact with any of her victims; undergo a drug and alcohol evaluation and follow all treatment recommendations; and pay restitution. Violation of any of the terms of probation could result in a prison term of up to 24 months.


To think I was almost reluctant to meet this woman for a drink, (& I likely would have if she didn't have such a short fuse) ... I sensed something was odd here, something like a sense of desperation coming from the communications with this woman.

I still don't think POF really needs to do screening. I have met & communicated with many nice people from here... just that one tenth of one percent that you have to watch out for.... look for the red flags, she was very open on wanting personal information on me.
 GuyinOhio
Joined: 3/19/2004
Msg: 48
Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/19/2010 2:48:30 PM
I dont like or offer anyone do a background check on myself..

If its a police officer, no matter rank, uses their employers Computer to gain personal knowledge and not offical buisness, that officer will be delt with.. yes I have had them fired, demoted, probation, ect...

This goes for Insurance agents, financial advisors, or any other person with that kind of access..
 DesertFox3
Joined: 8/6/2005
Msg: 49
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Background checks for dating do you mind people looking into your life?
Posted: 12/20/2010 11:40:08 AM

This goes for Insurance agents, financial advisors, or any other person with that kind of access..


Unfortunately you never know who is in charge of these things, I'm sure it goes on all the time..... the woman I mentioned above actually was bragging about her ability to do this.....& for the record she isn't a US citizen (or so she claimed).
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