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 AbstractAstra
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 2
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I miss romance. Well, I would if anyone had ever been truly romantic with me! Something is definitely missing these days.
 chuchurillo
Joined: 2/15/2007
Msg: 5
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:13:22 PM
Romance isn't dead, it's just become more confused, as every persons vision of romance is different. Bringing flowers isn't enough, neither is chocolate or a place with ambience.
I'v e fallen victum of the romance razer many times.
All of those things are no longer sufficient, romance now entails a reenactment of a really bad chick flik on a nightly basis.
As I've said it's not dead, it's just more convaluted, so it makes it hard to know your approach.
I think some one shold write a book on it.
 AbstractAstra
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 7
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:33:54 PM

Bringing flowers isn't enough, neither is chocolate or a place with ambience.


Well it would be a good start! I've never had flowers that weren't from a relative. Where's the love??
 jmn120176
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 8
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 3/24/2007 10:36:14 PM
I'd love to even have the OPPORTUNITY to be romantic! But I'm rarely given the chance. The "excuses" thread in this forum tells the story...
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 12
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 3/25/2007 5:26:56 AM
I find references to the Princess Bride work for every occasion. If somebody really doesn't click with me, I start referencing "strating a land war in China."
 mrkwyd1
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 21
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 5/8/2007 1:46:17 PM
Everyone loves romance, the problem is, it takes work.
ROmance ain't dead, but for a lot of people, it just ain't worth the effort.

Too many forget that it can be small simple gestures that cna nurture romance. It seems many are looking for those huge grand romantic things.

I'm not the most romanitc guy in the world, but I try,a nd I got a few tricks......

Here's a hint for guys that want to impress women....FLOWERS!
Some of you laugha nd say "MrKwyd, you dummy, that's a pretty obvious thing to suggest. Why not say 'remember to breath" as well." But its true. The number of dates I've had where I've given my date some flowers and she's been floored by that (and may add "No guy has EVER bought me flowers before") may stun you. I consider it a must. Any girl I'm interested in enough to want to go out with, deserves some flowers (AT the very least). Its not a grand romantic gesture, but its a good start.

Romance is alive...so long as we work at it.
 IWANNABEURSEXYLUV
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 29
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 5/12/2007 1:57:43 AM
MY DATES ARE ALL ROMANTIC--DINNER IN A VERY NICE RESTURANT/flowers /n cozy booth /candlelite/where we can enjoy each other-n I always love lookin in2 each others eyes-go for it /own it/make it romantic don't make ur date figure it all out if u want romance--create it
 trancer32
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 34
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:49:28 AM
OP: Sounds like you are choosing poorly whom you meet.

What I don't understand is this, It has been scientificly proven that women, are far more perceptive than men, and on average more intelligent than men. Yet, in an arena where women have all the power to choose (online dating), you ladies make horrible decisions, and then you make posts like this one, blaming guys on your lack of being able to use your own brain ? LOL !!!

YOU choose who you talk to online.
YOU choose who you meet.
YOU choose who you date.
YOU choose who you sleep with.

And when it doesn't turn out the way you want, its the GUYS fault ???

W T F ???

Make better choices, and when you make a bad choice, own upto it, Its called being an adult.

 LaffNTalk
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 38
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:47:33 PM
I have found it interesting how many women's profiles describe what they would like as a romantic first date. They want to meet their "Prince Charming", where maybe he brings flowers when he meets her, and takes her to a candlelit dinner overlooking the water at a nice restaurant. Yet in meeting a man, she 1) will only meet him in a public place, 2) will not give him her home address, 3) will not give her home telephone, and 4) only gave him her "disposable" Yahoo email address. It's an interesting contrast in romance.
 naeco
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 42
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:50:46 AM
Romance is very much alive, but sometimes a guy finds a woman who doesn't like it, if you can believe that. My ex was that way. We actually had a fight this past year because we had been together for a year and a half, and I bought her some flowers as a token of my love. When I handed them to her, she told me she would have rather had a bunch of live ones she could have planted, because the flowers I had just bought her would die. You know, she could have just told me some other time that she wanted some live flowers too, instead of ruining that moment. That kind of thing happened all the time, though. She was VERY unappreciative of any romantic gestures. Finally I decided "f*ck it", and I just gave up trying.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 44
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/4/2008 8:37:14 AM
Romance never died. It's impossible for it to die. That's a bitter notion to say. Frankly, I will admit I have done romantic things in the past that were just not appreciated. Was I pleased about it? No, I was nonplussed about it. I just learned you have to give romantic gestures, if you are a romantic male, to women who really is into that sort of thing. I am a very romantic male without elaborating on that. I definitely appreciate romantic females. Romance requires depth and society is increasingly superficial and selfish and romance and selfishness don't really go well together, so, maybe, there has been a decline in romance but not in quality, because those who show romance are probably truly romantic rather than because it's expected, so that's a positive thing. A guy who is romantic with you is more likely to be true when he does it...
 cfox53
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 48
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/13/2008 10:19:50 PM
I think in many senses romance is a very confused and confusing thing - first there is the issue (evidenced by many of the forum threads) that lots of people have very difference ideas what romance is - then there is also the issues that romance occurs between people - it is not something that a man does for a woman but it is more of a reciprocity - also, the social relations between men and woman have radically changed - it is no longer the case that the man is automatically the provider - often the woman is or both are, etc. Gender based roles no longer make a lot of sense in contemporary society.

- and, more importantly, I think it is part of a bigger thing

So - I think you (the OP) have a good point about paying attention to the other - but this is more civility than romance - I think that civility is sorely missing in our culture - as an example, my dear friend (a man) made a big career change (something I have done many times) and was anxious about it - so I had flowers delivered to his office on his first day. A female friend (a poet) was being honored for an award with a public reading - when I found out I arranged my schedule to be at her reading - she greatly appreciated it. A woman I went out with a few time had mentioned that she was not looking forward to the holidays and so I made sure there was a book delivered that I suspected she would enjoy a couple of days before christmas (I was out of town) - a new mom was coming home from the hospital and there was lots of baby things - I made sure there was some pampering stuff for her. All these things are just civil behavior - and I suspect that when we behave civilly toward one who we are in a 'dating relation' or some other sexual/potentially sexual relation - then we call it romantic - but I think it is really behaving politely, and civily toward another - and civility is dying in our culture - and I even have a guess why it is - civility is based on knowing on a pretty basc level that your actions effect others - and we, as a culture, have insulated people from experiencing the results of their actions.

Enough - it's ;ate and I need sleep - but I have seen dozens of these types of threads and I really felt I wanted to reply.

Cf
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 50
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/14/2008 10:49:13 AM
Romance is never a thing of the past. It is always in fashion. It just depends who you meet.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 51
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:01:27 PM
Romance is alive and well, you just have to figure out how is done this days.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 56
Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/14/2008 6:53:15 PM

You must connect ~ in some way! ~ the flowers is not the connection ~ but only a token!


I agree. No flowers, no special gifts, actually nothing that will imply that she has to reciprocate with any favor. Of the many people I went out with I can recall three particular relationships that lasted some time. As opposed to the one to seventh date. The first one I invited her to the Opera, La Boheme. I had tickets, so if she didn't want to go, I had other ladies I could have taken. It was very romantic. She completely decked out. She was the most astonishing woman in the theatre. She insisted on paying for drinks. I am not one of those that believe the man should pay for everything, I oblige. Later on we went to a cute bistro. I told her I don't usually take first dates to the Opera, but the opportunity but since she responded so well about her knowledge of Verdi, I decided to ask her. Second date, we went to a French Restaurant that after wards had a band, so we danced the night away. Third date was over my place. I cooked an incredible Salmon with a Tie sauce over spinach. We went out for about 9 months. Incredible lady, every occasion was romance in the making.

Another lady I went out with we first got together for a two hour bike ride, very casual, but very sexy, since you change in the parking lot. I think that's romantic, and fun. Second date we went to an Argentinean Steak house, then over my place to have a glass of wine under candle light. We went out for a while, she had a wild side about but most of our get togethers were very romantic.

The wonderful lady I've been dating for a while. Our fist date was at a Tapas bar that had a band. We talked so much that we never got a chance to dance. Then some how I invited her for dinner the next day. I grilled a swordfish and served over a Putanesca sauce and Arugula. We're still going strong.

Romance is not dead. Just don't be a woss trying to buy women. Do stuff that is totally different. Make them pay for something. If you are trying too hard it will show. Stop that. Make it fun. Make it not about her, but about what you enjoy. I enjoy good food, good wine, good theatre, good Opera. If they want to be part of it, they are welcome. If they don't. I still will do those things. The point is, that romance doesn't have to be the cliches we have today. I personally rarely open a door for a woman, I don't buy flowers, I don't ever tell them in those early stages that they are beautiful or garbage like that. That they have to earn by deeds. So while I will never say that they look beautiful (they know and 50 guys told her that), I may say, where did you get those earrings, they look ravishing on you.

I think romance today is about disarming her senses and expectations, thus sending her to a state in which for a week she can do nothing but think about the event and when are you going to get together again.
 Flopboyz
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 59
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/18/2008 12:51:54 AM

Guys don't seem to give flowers to dates anymore. It would be a nice change if they did.


Discoafternoon,

I think flowers would be nice, but I don't want to give the perception that I am trying to impress the lady I am with by offering her gifts when we first meet.

There are many ways men can still be romantic and a lot has to do with chivalry which I believe is truly missing in today's world of romance.

For example, I try to make it a habit to actually kiss a lady's hand when I first greet them. If they are wearing perfume on their wrists, I'll make a nice compliment on how wonderful it smells. If I am really daring I might even take a stab and guess what type of perfume it is. Since post-world war II this form of greeting art has been lost and needs to be rediscovered by men everywhere.

Another very chivalrous thing a man can do is offer his arm out to a lady when they are both crossing the street.

Now, unfortunately I have received some resistance to both approaches and here is my response to the women who refuse to allow a man to be a gentleman. I'll say, "A real lady would never refuse to let a gentleman a kiss on the hand/refuse to let a gentleman help them across the street."
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 63
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Romance.....a thing of the past ???
Posted: 1/19/2008 1:50:11 AM
An art which has been lost...
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