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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 34
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I've had 3 different men offer to share their wives with me in a MFM session but declined. As some of the other posters have stated, I'd feel a bit odd with their husbands there while the wife is being plowed. I think though, if it were a woman, myself and a male friend I'm comfortable with, I could do that. I have a couple of buddies who would no doubt be willing to lend a hand -- or other appendage -- if the situation called for it.

Joined: 3/16/2007
Msg: 35
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/22/2007 5:50:58 AM
U-nme, I'm glad that you can see you're own biases for what they trully are. Your own thoughts and opions reflecting on what morals you are placing on others.

I think that if there are consulting adults involved, who is to say if it is right or wrong. It might be wrong for you but not for others.

As someone that has had personal experiance with mmf/ffm/ffffffff/ffmm/fmfm I think that I can attest to the fact that it is possible to have a loving relationship with one person, someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life, and to have affectionate relationships with others that you want to play with in the security of an extention of your core relationship, as well as/ and not to disenclude the relationships that are for the pleasure of the moment. In a secure, mature relationship these other relationships wont disengrate the core relationship as long as honest communication is made a key factor.
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 37
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/28/2007 9:51:36 AM
I actually prefer the FMF threesome, but the bi female must be an endangered species, because they are definitely hard to find.
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 38
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/28/2007 11:36:50 AM
I'm surprised with the open-mindedness displayed by many posters. I'm also happy that some people can express their opinions without attacking other posters.

All I wanted to comment on was:

I believe in committment, trust and loyalty

Why do so many people use this type of argument for monogamy? You can have a relationship that includes committment, trust and loyalty and not be sexually exclusive. If that's what you agree to and you still have boundaries that you trust the other person with, you make a committment and that's that. Committment does not equal monogamy. Committment equals arrangement + promise. That's it. Monogamy is just one arrangement.

One other thing was the comment about the Japanese being sexually liberated for centuries. It may do everyone good to stop believing that Western European-Canadian-American civilization is the "most evolved", "most learned", "most civilized" culture on this planet. MOST of the world does not have a culture that deifies monogamous behavior. Monogamy is tribal and religious only... there is no scientific or realistic evidence that it is "better" or that human feelings can not grow and be cared for in non-monogamous relationships.

My vote? To each their own. So, to OP's question... it depends on the person. If you're looking for the secret to your own future wife sharing possibilities, then, it depends on you. Are you jealous? Do you care more about your own possessive feelings than the enjoyment and excitement that your loved one could feel if they explore someone new?

In my life I value my relationships. When I am interested in someone, I am interested in everything that they are. If they are open to non-monogamy, then great. If they aren't, then that's OK, too. Everybody is different, and making that connection is more important than lots of new sex, at this point in my life. Been there, done that, loved most hours of it.
Joined: 3/16/2007
Msg: 39
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 7/10/2007 8:17:09 PM

The ppl I know who are into this type of relationship are lieing to one another - they are married or couples and have profest 'honesty' to one another and yet I know for a fact that there are extra activities going on.

I have to admit that this does happend, but it's an exeption and not the rule. Most people that get involed in alernative kinks develop a greater sense of communication , love and loyalty. It's becaue the act alone forces the communication. There would be no way that anything would happen if I didn't wan it tooo and visa versa.
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 40
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:43:35 PM
Personally, I think that the wife is going to wind up feeling like she is less loved by her husband just because he wants to share her with his friends. What's up with that! Even if she wants to do it in the beginning, it's a pretty good indication that she wants to be away from her husband also. Sure looks like a road to a divorce, just as soon as she finds someone that loves her more than you do...
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 41
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 12/31/2007 9:27:42 AM

But,,,,as soon as I went NEAR the man, my ex threw a fit and threw him out

Yeah, it never works unless both people are on the same sheet of music. Your experience is, sadly, one I have read several times. Both men and women. Their partner wants some strange but doesn't want the other getting any and gets all bent out of shape if they do. That is not a .. uhm .. sustainable way to do things.
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 42
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:04:14 AM
MFM is a fantasy for women just as FMF is for men....if all are in agreement to the arrangement no harm is done.
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 43
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 1/3/2008 12:11:18 AM
I would say that the women who really fantasize about MFM are in the minority,or they if they had that fantasy,they wouldn't admit to it.

Think you'd be surprised about it being the minority, but could depend on many factors; although agreed, a poll may produce unreliable results due to the latter.
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 44
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 1/3/2008 11:54:01 AM
To each his own. I wouldn't want my wife (if I had one) to be with another guy like that, but apparently it turns some guys on for their wives/girlfriends to get worked by another dude.
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 45
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 1/3/2008 3:50:31 PM

You do know this is going to be deleted right?

Apparently Not!!!

If it work for you great...

Fantasy world...not a bad idea!!!
Reality world...I don't share!
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 48
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 5/15/2008 3:07:32 PM
A man wants me to do MFM tonight with his wife and I think I will turn him down
I like sex but I don't want it that bad and I dont trust men.
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 49
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:54:15 PM
No prolbem with come you did not have double penetration with her....
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 50
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:56:43 AM
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 51
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 10/31/2008 6:29:01 AM

I read through your post and think you may have been looking to post on Penthouse forums.

LOL - ya think?

Nothing hotter than reading some married guy's graphic description of his being a cheating pig. Funny, his oh-so-hot story doesn't include his wheelchair, which is mentioned in his profile. Sounds kind of Walter Mitty-ish if you ask me. Lots of wishful thinking.

In either event, where's the puke icon when you need one?
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 52
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 10/31/2008 11:13:43 AM
If my boyfriend or husband will share me sexually with other men to filled hisvoid soul I will think that he does not know what is right and what is wrong in a loving relationship between a man and woman. What makes a human being a person is his morals, and his /her curiosity on matters that is against the grain of humanities. That man who shared his wife with other men I don't think that when his daughter the apple of his eyes grow up to be a woman will want to repeat the history of him and his wife having sex with other people .
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 54
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 1/25/2009 2:44:06 AM
not a good idea all. When I am comited to a woman I sure as hell don't want another guy having sex with her nor do I want any other woman. Maybe I'm old fasioned...jeezzz!
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 56
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 5/8/2009 6:12:06 AM
Theres a psycosexual explaination for this fetish that goes a little something like this:
for a man, watching his partner with another man evokes feelings of jealousy (even if minute) which in turn causes the body's testosterone production to jump rapidly. That "boost" in testosterone production results (for those men) in what is described as extremely intense sexual interactions afterwards. Call it a sort of self-manipulation if you like, or dont call it anything. If all involved enjoy it an noone's hurt by it...enjoy it!!!

or live life always wondering :)
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 57
MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:59:47 AM
From the husbands perspective.

First of all. This is how I feel and how my own experiences made me react and such. I can't speak for EVERY man out there but maybe if someone is reading this and doesn't see how a husband / boyfriend could consider this... hopefully this can help.

My wife and I have had a MFM experience... two as a matter of fact.
We are not 'swingers' or anything such as that. We have only been involving others in our bedroom activities for a few months.
We have been married for over 4 years. We dated for almost 2 years prior to being married.

The absolutely first thing you have to realize is this. I don't love my wife any less today than I did 4 years ago. In fact I love her more!
I know that no matter what happens in my life or in hers (sexual or not) we can sit down, talk to each other about it and know that the other will not judge them.
There is a HUGE difference between just talking to someone and COMMUNICATING!
Now, we have our good and bad days like any couple.
Due to that, we never 'share' if one of us has any negative emotions towards the other.
However, we don't go days, weeks or even months with anger in our hearts like other couples. We sit and talk about our issues... We could have planned weeks before for her steady 'boy toy' to come over, but if either of us are still feeling a little hurt by our last argument, then we cancel it. PERIOD! And we both know that sharing those feelings will have no negative repercussions. That is called trust, respect and open communication.

Onto how I felt with everything.
It was NOT her Idea. It was mine. I had some fantasies that were rare but very intense and the emotions they brought up were purely sexual. I had imagined watching her being used sexually by more than just me. Sometimes it was another woman, others it was another man. One night we were talking about our sexual pasts and experiences and the subject came up. I told her about my fantasies and her immediate reaction was 'no!'. But unlike most couples we didn't just drop the subject, we talked about it. Why she felt that way and why I felt that way. We laid everything out on the table and didn't hold back our thoughts. After that night I left it at that and didn't bring it up again. A few days later she brought up the subject again and we began talking about what type of person we would like to be with. Then the subject lay dormant for another few days... Then we talked about it some more. It was about a month or more that we just talked about the idea. No planning or anything. Just talk!
I brought the subject up with a friend of mine (a guy I had known for a few months and we go have a beer together every now and then.). He told me about when he was married that he and his wife had done the MFM thing a few times and he talked about his experiences.
Our friendship grew and one night he wanted to meet for drinks but I couldn't so I told him "How about tomorrow night you come over for dinner. The wife will cook and we can just chill at my house." He agreed and a few days later he came over for dinner. It was a nice night just being friends and he even met my two kids and was a really nice guy and respectable person in my house.
The next day I started talking to my wife about what she thought about him... it was the typical "he was nice, blah blah"... Then I told her that I was thinking about him being 'the one'.
She said she does have to think about it and we spent the next two weeks talking about it off and on. And even when he came over again for dinner there were 'looks' between my wife and I with these little winks and non-verbal communication to tell each other "yeah, this might work" or "no... Not gonna happen".
She was comfortable with the idea after we had long talks and we began to prepare ourselves for the things to happen.
We sat down and literally typed out a set of rules.
They are simple in some ways but others they have deep meanings.
Condoms: He must wear one. PERIOD!
Only weekends with kids staying at relatives. No week-nights or times with kids home. (duh)
No toy play. (We have our own sexual toys we play with... those are for us.)
He does NOT sleep on her bed.
NOTHING happens without the other in the room.
When he leaves the bedroom, we make love.
We also laid our key ‘words’ that we never use normally that relay our feelings. We have one for 'it's all ok' and another for 'I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable' and lastly the 'stop everything now' word.
etc. etc. etc.
We talked about how I envisioned the night happening and she discussed her own views.
This level of discussion and revealing deep emotions is what makes the difference between something possibly happening that I or she may not be comfortable with vs. one of us having a knee-jerk reaction to something in a negative way.
Our first experience wasn't as smooth as we thought it would be.
As the night wore on after dinner she wore a 2 piece lingerie and a robe.
When it came to getting her out of it, both my friend and I were acting naturally and being very slow and seductive. That made me feel a bit weird. I asked them both "can we hang on for just one second? I gotta go to the bathroom."
We already had set that if the other goes into the bathroom and turns the faucet on, that the other should follow.
So she came in and I explained myself. We stripped her naked and returned.... Everything from there on was MUCH better.
One thing we discovered is that the way things start makes a huge impact on the way things are perceived by me.
The second time he came over for fun, after dinner she went to clean up and returned wearing nothing but a robe.
After sitting and talking (the 3 of us) I grabbed her legs and told him to help me carry our toy to the bedroom... That night went SO MUCH better than the first.
The key thing from a husband’s perspective is this.
When I'm sharing her... She's not my 'wife' she's my toy. She's a sexual object.
Keeping everyone's mentality in that realm is what keeps everything where it should be.
After we're done using and abusing her. Our friend goes and crashes in our guest room. My wife and I then make love. We don't 'screw' or do anything really like that. We have deep passionate and emotional time together.

There have been a few moments after where I have some jealousy feelings. But we talk through them.
She has had times when she needs to talk to me because she feels that I may be doing this just for her and not for 'us'. So we talk through those times too.
If we didn't talk and communicate with each other so deeply and honestly there is no way we could do anything like this.

Personally, I feel that husbands who totally cannot envision this type of activity are somewhat insecure, overly possessive and mostly they don't fully trust their mate.
What is sad is that more often than not, feelings of distrust and insecurity are considered normal and acceptable in today’s marriages.

This type of thing isn't for everyone. Even if they are in a very open and honest marriage or relationship.
We don't look down on those who don't share. We respect their decisions.

All we ask for is the same in return.
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 58
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/19/2010 5:10:17 PM
Without honesty in a relationship you have nothing.
The bottom line is: this is so much better than cheating.
Cheating involves lying, then lying again to cover for the previous lies.
From there it is lies, lies and lies.
This perspective makes a threesome the lesser of the two evils.
Without honesty in a relationship you have nothing.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 59
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/20/2010 8:20:22 AM
its always something i wanted to do, in fantasy, next long term relationship, will be with a woman that will try it!
lets face it 80% of porn is about mfm somes, so most men dream about it
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 60
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/20/2010 12:21:53 PM

Open marriages are most times very close and strong marriages.

I'd like to see the data to support this statement.

The couple that wrote the book Open Marriage ended up divorced. And then he died so they can't get back together.

I've known couples that experimented with "open marriage" since the early 70s. None of them survived for long. Not one. I'm not saying it can't happen, I've just known quite a few that tried and failed. Of course, a lot of marriages fail, period.

But as for the OP's statement, I do not believe there is reliable data to support the statement.
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 61
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/21/2010 7:15:26 AM
Your mileage may vary, of course. I know many couples in the swinger community, many of whom have been together from 5 to 35 years, and who've been swinging from a few months to 15 years. Most are happily married, and as far as I can tell, have the depth of relationship to remain so. I've also seen some of them split up, but the rate doesn't seem to be any different than the rate for non-swinging couples I know, and the reasons they split very rarely has anything to do with swinging. Like non-swinging couples, their problems in other areas of the relationship lead to the split.

Of course, there are cheaters and low-life types among swingers - just as there are among non-swingers. Cheaters exist in all walks of life, of course. While I can't provide hard statistics, my own observation has been that there is a little less cheating in the swinger community, because there are more ways to satisfy the desire for sexual variety and adventure without having to cheat to get it. If the relationship has other problems, then yes, it may still happen because you're already unhappy with your partner, and swinging isn't going to fix that! It may delay a split, but typically won't prevent one.

I'm not surprised that former swingers don't talk about it. What reason is there? Since non-swingers typically don't look favorably upon it, why bring up the subject knowing you're going to be looked down on?

As for MFM - some do, some don't. Some men get turned on by watching their partner with another man, and many women really seem to be excited by it as well. Doesn't work for me, but if consenting adults want to do it, good for them. It's easier to arrange that FMF, apparently, because both straight and bi single women don't have much to gain from the arrangement that they can't find elsewhere. Such women are called unicorns, because they are so rare and hard to find! And of course, the ones that do exist are in high demand.
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 62
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/21/2010 8:55:36 AM
I did some reading and there doesn't appear to be any significant difference in the divorce rate between open and monogamous relationships. So it's just up to personal preference. Nobody gets to claim their way makes the marriage last longer than someone else's, just they just get to be satisfied in doing what's comfortable for them.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 63
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MFM threesomes and sharing your wife?
Posted: 6/22/2010 7:51:56 AM

I did some reading and there doesn't appear to be any significant difference in the divorce rate between open and monogamous relationships. So it's just up to personal preference. Nobody gets to claim their way makes the marriage last longer than someone else's, just they just get to be satisfied in doing what's comfortable for them.

Can you, or anyone else, provide some actual studies to support these statements? "I did some reading up on this" is hardly a reliable source.
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