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 Rettam
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 26
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Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?Page 2 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Not on this site.

Here, you pay attention to a guy, he'll totally notice.

What you're talking about only has a bit of relevance where some dude is the center of attention amongst a tight-knit group of people with lots of girls.

Guys that have that going on don't come to sites like this.

I have a question. There are all these nice guys on here looking to meet women, yet here we have women chasing guys that can't even bother to pay attention to them unless you girls figure out wierd, reverse-psychological-methods to convince them to like you?

Who ARE these guys, and how can we, as the decent dudes on this site, become one of them for just a day so we can meet, and treat nicely, just one of these girls these dudes like to string along and ignore?




And finally yes, it can work, but you have to be coveted by him in the first place. -And why would you even want to pursue someone like that, anyway, even if it did work?
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 27
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 3:54:54 PM
Doesn't get my attention, just the opposite. I lose interest in someone like that very quickly.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 28
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Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 3:55:51 PM
Like passing notes in class, something most left behind in high school.
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 29
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 4:06:13 PM
yep sure does........ if you're six years old.
 JMars
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 30
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 4:10:25 PM
Well, ignoring me would not get my attention... save as a obvious signal that the woman wasn't interested.

If a woman's intent in using such a tactic was to play hard-to-get, I'd say she should probably learn how to play the game right.

Hard-to-get isn't a bad game. It tells the man alot about the woman, and the woman about the man. Played rightly, it inspires, rather than undermines, confidence. But the woman really has to know how to play it.
 sunshineheart
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 31
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 8:11:25 PM
21 questions, you said that you saw this idea on TV, ignoring a man.. to get his attention. Interesting concept isn't it? I recently read a book that discussed this, so I thought Id mention it here:

It appears that men have a great sense of respect and attraction to women who wont put up with any bullshit from them. At the end of the book I chuckled, because the book was basicly saying to apply the same behaviour management to a man as you would with a child. If he's bad, take away his priveleges (time with you) and calmly busy yourself with other things. Reward good behaviour, consequece bad behaviour.

In the authors research she interviewed hundreds of men, many many many of whom shared their secret. They want a woman who they can respect, because she respects herself and wont put up with his bad behaviour. Amazingly, many men even admitted to 'testing' a woman in this matter to see how she reacts. Overly nice and forgiving women actualy seem to loose many men's attention after a while. The one who ignores him makes him want to chase her more. I dont think men ever 'not enjoy' chasing the woman he likes or loves...even to a woman he he has been married to for many years... a little chase ignites something in a man

Of course, completly ignoring another person, or ignoring the needs of a loved one, is another story....but I dont think thats what you meant in the question
 aventurero
Joined: 4/17/2005
Msg: 32
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Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 8:24:01 PM
Ignoring someone will guarantee you no action. Show interest, the key is being confident.
 sunshineheart
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 33
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 9:19:06 PM
singleguy64, first off, I do want to clarify that this concept was in a book I read recently, so its not that I am the type to play headgames of any sort with my partner. I do believe that being honest and open with your parnter is essential. Im not the type to give the 'silent treatment' nor do I appreciate people who give it.

You might find it of interest however that the book pointed out that men quite often use ignoring/avoiding...it is a method of 'non verbal communication' to another person. (as you said it goes both ways) Now here's the juicy part....many women use a different method...an opposite method, to communicate their displeasure...talking, talking, and talking. Im a woman, I love to talk too. Nothing wrong with that. But it appears to be more effective to use "men's own language" of withdrawl sometimes. He can relate to this apparently.

Most women want to talk to a man about any crap hes pulled. We have to tread lightly though. Most men cringe at the sound of " Honey, we need to talk about our relationship..."
And sometimes you've already talked about it. Many times even. What do you do then? Nag?
Wrong anwer! I was suggesting that perhaps some withdrawl would earn his respect and get his attention much more effectivly. Its what he would likely do

The OP asked if ignoring a guy gets his attention. Ignoring someone because you dont like their profile on POF is not what I think she meant...I think she meant ignoring someone you usualy give attention to...to get their attention.
 Ravager
Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 34
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/25/2006 11:03:12 PM
Well, if I get ignored, that tells me she isnt interested and I move on. Doesn't get my attention at all.
 sunshineheart
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 35
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:53:03 AM
Singleguy64, yeah ignoring a cute guy at the library might mean passing up a chance to meet someone great. If he's really creepy looking, or you're just not attracted to him...but he seems to be attracted to you...then ignoring him will hopefully send him the message 'not interested' Don't make eye contact, smile, or talk to him ect....well yeah of course...that would be more polite than saying "leave me alone you creeeeeepy looking dude". People use ignoring all the time to non-verbaly communicate in this manner

And yes, I did see some similarities between John Gray's concept and this one (which btw was called "Why Men Love B1tches"). This book however was quite different and went into more of how women tend to over invest in relationships...and pointed out that the women who acted much more like men...the ones who just did their own thing (is that her cave?lol)...and used 'ignoring' rather than 'investing' tended to have much more sucsess in relationships. I see two reasons for this

1. You effectivly weed out the loosers really early because you wont put up with crap and you dont waste your time with them. Ignore/ block/ no way buddy...lol

2. The decent guys, dont get ignored. You dont need to ignore them because you don't need their attention...because they give you their attention. They treat you well. And if the day comes when he is thoughtless, naughty or starts taking you for granted...if you ignore him (withdraw into the cave?, go out with friends, be too busy to meet for lunch) it gets his attention. And hes a decent guy, so he probably already knows he was thoughtless, ect anyway..and he dosent want to be moved into catagory number 1 as explained above, so he will give his attention. Yes he may even want to talk then. Much more readily than if she just comes at him with a pout and a "Honey, we need to talk..."

Many of us women look around and wonder why the nicest guys are involved with/married to the women amongst us we might affectionatly term 'b1tches'..ones who seem kind of self centred as opposed to invested in her man. I have known a few women like this and could never understand it. The ones who dote on their man, pamper him, and try so hard to make the relationship 'work' seem to often end up alone. It just seems men prefer an no nonsense woman who wont take any crap from him...he respects her for it...finds her strong and sexy.

And so...according to the book anyway...ignoring, as a form of non-verbal communication can be effective in gettting a mans attention. (then the talking? I dunno?)
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 36
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:09:24 AM
Who ARE these guys, and how can we, as the decent dudes on this site, become one of them for just a day so we can meet, and treat nicely, just one of these girls these dudes like to string along and ignore?
========================
You got it back wards Greymatter
These A holes don't actually ingonre the girls. They abuse them. There's a difference.
======================

In reference to the original question.

NOOOOOOOO! I really can't believe that anybody asked a question like that in the first place. Never ignore a guy that you want interested in you. Ever.

Forget everything that youve' heard about guys enjoying the chase. They tolerate it for the girl at the end of it but only very briefly and then only if the girl is worth it. They would definitely prefer no chasing, no head games, no stuiditity.


Consider that almost ALL dating advice, and all advice about men, comes from womens trash mags or thier TV equal and both of these areas are hosted by women. But not just any women. Women who's own relatinships have been disasters.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 37
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:17:24 AM
It appears that men have a great sense of respect and attraction to women who wont put up with any bullshit from them.
===================
Sunshine m girl. You have got this completely ass about.
Yes! Men do respect women who don't put up with any bs.

But you are forgetting something vital. Decent men don't give their women any bs. So the whole argument is irrelevant.

Unless you are planning to only date jerks who are full of bs.

But there's more.

An awful lot of women seem to think that bullshiting thier men and not putting up with any bs from them are one and the same. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Decent men don't give their women any bs. But they don't rescpect any women who hurls any bs at them either. They leave. Fast. The relatinship doesn't end. It doesn't even start.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 38
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:22:13 AM
u gotta do it just enuf in my experience! give them a hint u like them then play hard to get! most of the decent guys will make the effort to persue. guys should always know who's boss!
======================================
Bimbo alert!

Decent guys don't make any effort to persue anybody. They don't need to. The world beats a path to thier door.

You are acting like a piece of prey waiting for a predator m dear. Do you know what a predator does, be it animal or human variety? A predator sucks the heart and soul out of you, chews you up and stips out the bones. Without a hint of sorroy or remorse.

You want to have a quality team relatinship. Forget this drivel about whos boss. You act like a team member. You treat him like a team member.

You want to ignore him and wait for him. You want him to pursue you? You want to behave like prrey??
Expect to be snared only by a predator.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 39
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:39:22 AM
Gem

You are in for ten years of ongoing heart break with predator after predator after predator breaking your heart.

and no white knight to save you. Nobody can save you from your own stupidity.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 40
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:05:46 AM
I don't think so. Men like attention I believe in general - so stroke that ego and give him attention!
===========================
Hitechy.

Yourre actually stroking the wrong thing. In fact it's best to stroke pretty much everything, but the ego would be prettty much last. Attntion and affection are the main things.
 Kisaragi
Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 41
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:23:59 AM
I can attest to the the Ignoring game from both aspects... I started dating this girl and was into her but not soley focussing my time.. it pushed her over the edge to chase after me.. this went on for quite some time. It worked for both our favours i really got serious and she got what she had been chasing.. Now after a year of up and downs a lot of downs possible cause now the chase was over things ended... but I was left on the line waiting.. given words to keep m heart holding on. my own devotion has kept me around for a long time.. but it's moved on to me being ignored for quite some time.. I've waited and waited and persued and persued... In some respect i still am.. but It's tearing at my soul and i may not be able to anymore.. so as long as the being ignored isn't too long it can work to your favour be it guy or girl. You play that game to long and you could lose what your hoping for.
 zig02
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 42
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Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:18:42 PM
So all those guys who complain about not getting answers to their e-mails have it all wrong...the women are interested...they're just showing their interest by not responding..
 crazychristy266
Joined: 6/9/2006
Msg: 43
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:32:29 PM
im sorry but yes sometimes it does work!
 NightLark
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 44
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Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:38:11 PM
If you want the sort of relationship that comes from such an unhealthy exchange,then yes. Ask yourself this: Is this the way you would want to be treated? Do you really want that sort of guy or would you want someone that you can have mutual respect/trust/love with? The time for playing kid games was when we were children. Now that this time has passed we should act like adults. If we perpetuate this standard we add to the problem and not solve it. Would you want to be married to someone you have to ignore? Too many people play games like this in life. Marriage is no game. it's a solemn commitment to god, your spouse and your children and family. It's too much work for me to be with someone who I have to coax to like me. I want a self sufficient relationship, not just something where I have to play games to get someone's attention. If their attention span is really that short I just won't be with them in the first place, because they're too shallow or simply just not worth my precious time.
 sunshineheart
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 45
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/26/2006 8:16:41 PM
Greymatter, I think you have a point when you say the more attractive you are the more this would work. I can see how this is true. Yet remember that attraction is very subjective. (Some times a person who is attractive to someone, may seem unattractive to different person) Thus...if there is already AN attraction that is established...he likes her...she likes him...then if she suddenly ignores him...he is trying to figure it out. It HAS his attention.

I dont know why so many people are saying that they would just assume the other person is not interested if they were ignored. Being ignored by someone you met two minutes ago, or being ignored by someone you have been dating for two months (or married to for two years), is entirely different. I doubt all the people that said they would just walk the other way, would do so as quickly and effortlessly in a real life situation.
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 46
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/27/2006 5:50:22 AM
It's the best way to insure that he NEVER pays any attention to you. Ignoring a guy is the modern equivalent of "Thank you for your interest, but I'm just not that into you." It's tough for a gal to strike a balance. Tell the guy you're not interested and you may hurt his feelings by it. You do the same by ignoring him, but at least it's not an overt act.
 sunshineheart
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 47
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:58:59 PM
sorry there 'yahh roo giddy up', but you wouldn't be able to get close enough to my ass to kick it.
 Whitetigeress
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 48
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/28/2006 10:54:00 PM
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?


best way to find out is try it... go on i dare ya



,... however if i were to dig deeper into this question, I could add that most men dont like clingy women. But, it doesn't mean one should ingore him to show she has a life.
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 49
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Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/29/2006 7:36:13 AM
If we don't show interest in a man how does he know we find him interesting?

I have several female friends who often say to me "well he should know how I feel", my response to them is always the same, "How, if you don't tell him? He's not a mind reader".

Edit: I'm not normally given to fits of infatuation .... but for you VVVV, ROO, I might make an exception!!!!!!!!!


Precisely. I need responses from a partner. If you don't show interest - I'm gone. Next.
 Whitetigeress
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 50
Does ignoring a guy really get his attention?
Posted: 10/29/2006 7:58:23 AM
I view clingy women as being dedicated to the man they are with

as long as they dont try to become controlling

I like clingy



Roo, I mean clingy as where you can't get any breathing space from a woman. She needs to know where you are and what you are doing all the time.Clings to your arm like glue. Needs you to basically help her live (dependant on you). Usually women with co-dependancy issues will exhibit this trait.

Controlling women are women with self-esteem issues as we commonly see with men who control their women.They feel they have no control over thier life unless they control their partner.

What you mean by dedicated Roo, I presume, is loyal. Nothing wrong with that at all.

But,(sticking with the topic here), she should also physically, verbally and emotionally let you know she wants and desires you.
As its been said, no one can read minds so yes... we need to communicate our feelings in whatever means neccessary.

Hope you find your loyal woman Roo.
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