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Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 26
Are British Columbians friendlierPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
What ever you do stay away from Kamloops.
I moved up here a few years ago. I lived in Surrey for 25 years, had my shop robbed twice and 3 auto break -ins..
Here in Kumloopy ville AKA WRONG TURN 5, The Venture never ends, I have been robbed 375 times, I have seen more crime, more perversion and more open lack of the most basic moral fiber than I had ever seen in Surrey.
I have also seen that this town more broken families due to drugs and alcohol abuse.
According to research, 70% of all sociopaths were raised in homes without fathers.
BC is full of this stuff..

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Other Related Qualities:
Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)[quote/]
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 27
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:58:42 PM
^^^So did you just diagnose all of British Columbia over the internet or just all of the people in Kamloops?

I kind of get your point though...I think.
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 28
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/12/2012 10:59:44 PM
I am not always a very sociable person but I am a very warm and loving person. So I am not always seen as "friendly" but those who are closest to me know how caring and giving I am. I have set goals of being a good man, to be better tomorrow than I was yesterday and to review myself and grow from there.
Some of the best people I have known in BC are or in some cases were, the most unfriendly and seemingly miserable SOB's around. I love those people dearly! Those are the ones that would give the shirt off their backs to help, they would jump in front of a bullet to save another human or animal for that matter. I am one of those, but I am not that miserable. I am just not sociable per say...
I maybe a little more on the grumpy side after what I've been through with my EX.
But I will get over and I don't take it out on other people!!!
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 29
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/12/2012 11:04:23 PM
LMAO... Ya pretty much just Kamloops... Everybody I know thats lived here a lifetime can't see it as anything other than normal, but most of those I know from the lower mainland, including myself, who have been here for over 3 years but under 7, notice a huge difference in social behavior.
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 30
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Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/13/2012 10:01:05 AM
I don't believe that we can judge how friendly someone is by the province they live in, but the ones who are busy trying to be successful or are commuting, or are trying to start out in a new country...well, they may be more focused on themselves to be considered friendly. Some of these people are looking for "success" therefor veer towards the cities and the opportunities there. They don't have the time to spare to be friendly or they are afraid to be.
I'd say the further from the city, the friendlier the people, unless the city folk are already content.
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 31
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/13/2012 12:06:34 PM
^^^Actually, I think the exact opposite is more to the point.

All of the recent immigrants I meet seem really happy to be here and are some of the most optimistic and upbeat people around.

When I think of snotty and hateful faces on the street, the pictures in my mind are always white.
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 32
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Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/13/2012 12:42:28 PM
I agree to your post about a lot of immigrants being upbeat and optimistic, but that doesn't necessarily make them more friendly towards others, more approachable maybe...

The snotty and hateful are everywhere and come in every colour.

I didn't like Van, too career/status/cash orientated. When people are busy with these types of things, they can often lose the kinship in favour of beating the competition. Not all, some.
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 33
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/13/2012 3:30:37 PM

I didn't like Van, too career/status/cash orientated.

I agree. And it's quite bizarre how that, once the "rat race" started(about 86) it seems everybody just keeps trying to go faster and faster, to keep up with the "pace" that has been generated. Don't know where the hell they are all going to,but, honestly, it's getting quite scarey down here. A lot of people don't "see it" cause,well, they are "caught up" in the rat race.
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 34
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/13/2012 9:59:42 PM
I didn't like Van, too career/status/cash orientated. When people are busy with these types of things, they can often lose the kinship in favour of beating the competition

Perhaps I should have been more clear. I wouldn't know much about the rest of my city because I choose to live in East Van. Commercial Drive, to be precise. My neighbourhood is like a small town stuck in the middle of a major city. I could go for months without ever leaving this street. Doctors and government are the only things that force me to visit other parts of the city...well and dating too, theoretically. This area is made up of funky artists, crazy folks, political activists, druggies and all sorts of other strange and wonderful people. It is very cosmopolitan with a rich diversity of ethnic foods and cultural dress and activities. It's a vibrant and energetic place with a very strong sense of community. It's the coolest place on this earth that I've found so far which is also why I came back here to live after my marriage fell apart.

Having said all that, this place is changing. I like to think I can help it maintain some of it's authenticity by supporting venues like the Rio Theatre of the W.I.S.E. Club, for example.
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 35
view profile
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/13/2012 11:37:44 PM
East Van/Commercial does have character and characters, I gravitate towards it when over there.
What is changing? Are people losing patience? Tolerance? Heart? Is greed or poverty reeking havoc? Have people stopped looking out for one another? I hope not, community is important.
Glad you are doing your part to maintain the authenticity.

Maybe a community pride afternoon picnic is over due?
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 36
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/17/2012 8:52:27 AM
I have lived in BC for 7yrs now, moved from Ontario to escape the snow.
I still can't get to five when I count the number of GOOD friends I can say I have.
It's soooo difficult to break through some of these cliques if a) you didn't go to school here, b) don't make six figures a year c) are a visible minority with a smaller community
Sometimes I really need to remind myself that I still live in Canada.
Of course, Ontario and more specifically Toronto has their fair share of issues but meeting people to hang out with isn't one of them.
I am super friendly, randomly talk to strangers, hold doors, lift strollers down stairs etc.
Initially I can see the tension when I make first contact (uh oh, is my purse and belongings safe? Will this man rape me in broad daylight right in the middle of Cambie?
I'm not making this a racial thing either because I don't think it is that most of the time.

What I do find interesting is the seniors actually engage me in conversation. Where are you from? I love your tattoos...great weather today huh?
Men/women my age who I would assume would be more open to different cultures and perspectives because Canada has certainly become more multi-cultural in the past two decades shun me; shift their gaze as if we didn't just make eye contact and I gave a gracious smile.

Older women always assume I clean up in this city. Sadly, quite the opposite.

Men aren't much better. Unless it's the boyfriend of a friend of a girl I'm dating, hanging out with another guy just isn't happening.
I wen to Trout Lake community centre to play basketball at the public court two days ago by myself, sick of waiting around for the phone to ring.
About 15mins in a much older black man walks up and asks if he can get some shots up.
We shoot around for an hour with no conversation. After the workout he tells me his story:
Moved out here in the 70's from Montreal, loved it at first.
Folks were friendly and he had some of his best years.
In the mid/late 80's, things started to change.
Now he hates it. Has no solid friends/connections after all those years.
I saw myself in 15 years. SCARY. Thinking about moving back to Toronto every other hour since. That really shook me.
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 37
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:39:22 AM
East coast>so friendly..West coast we talk..I think we are a big mix of ppl now so on the island meet ppl from elsewhere just never know
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 38
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/17/2012 11:47:10 AM
People are as friendly as you are to them...... like attracts like.
Sometimes it just takes time.
As is with anything time tells the story, but you have to be willing to spend the time to open the book.
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 39
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/17/2012 1:50:17 PM
People have agendas and are not always friendly when you are friendly to them! I speak from a fair bit of experience. I don't let that stop me, I just keep on being friendly! : P

My quick answer to this question is in smaller towns in BC they are very warm and friendly. Victoria and Vancouver, unless you are a single guy of ANY age, not so much!
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 40
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:06:30 AM

My quick answer to this question is in smaller towns in BC they are very warm and friendly

Which is why I am highly considering a move to one. Where.. that's the question. (shrugs shoulders)
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 41
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/18/2012 8:37:43 AM
I agree with you Page and Charmin smaller towns tend to be friendlier than the big city. I also agree with those that said East Coasters ( and I have found that whether I met them in all over B.C., in northern Alberta, in northern Ontario or on the East Coast ) are a friendlier bunch than people from Ontario, Quebec, Alberta or B.C..

I lives in the Toronto area for 16 yrs I coming from small town England and I did not find Toronto and vicinity to be at all warm and Friendly - then again I don't like big cities. I have found Vancouver to have lost it charm for me over the last 32 years it has gotten to be just another big city in my view.

Personally I have found places like Smithers, Nelson, Rossland and Kimberly to be friendlier than Kamloops, Vernon, Revelstoke, Penticton, Whistler, Squamish or Kelowna when it comes to smaller centers in B.C. Having said that sometimes the perception of how friendly a place is depends on how long it takes you to break into a clique that is suitable for you.
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 42
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/18/2012 10:35:01 PM
There is a story on the CBC today that deals with this very question,
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 43
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:26:00 AM
Ah the ugly truth that everybody not coming from a shithole knows way too well. And yet time and time and again we're friendly reminded to just STFU...
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 44
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:39:52 PM

“We found that one in four people are finding it difficult to make friends in Vancouver and one in three people are lonely,” Vancouver Foundation CEO Faye Wightman said Monday.

I guess this is why I see so many pictures in profiles with pets....

Hope you don't mind AddHomonym I put the link in my profile...
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 45
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:12:01 AM
I was reading an old journal entry from when I first moved back to Van. I noted that the nurses I saw seemed to behave as though they expected to hear something offensive coming out of my mouth or that I might take offense to something they might have said.

I think this might be a part of the problem and reflects what this province is becoming. Everyone seems so preoccupied with other people's business, it's like the new national pastime out here.
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 46
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/21/2012 7:10:08 AM
From now on, I am going to make a point to smile and say hello to more and more people just to show I really am not a stereotypical BC biotch.

There's my good deed contribution ya'll
(slurps tea)
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 47
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/21/2012 8:04:09 AM
Nice to see some new pics Charmin - here I had you pegged as only a coffee drinker.

Anytime you go somewhere and think to yourself " Wow people here a friendly... a little too friendly"... it can serve as a reminder that you have become comfortable in the anonymity that living in a community that is guarded brings.

There is friendly and then there is everyone needs to no everyone's business friendly.

People are as friendly as you are to them...... like attracts like

There is plenty of truth in that if you walk around with a big ol smile on your face and a spring in your step you are bound to get some positive responses - much like a dog approaching you wagging his tail madly - too bad it wasn't that easy for me to get someone to rub my back and scratch me behind the ears.
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 48
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 6/21/2012 4:33:50 PM
The issue is not exclusive to British Columbia. Ever since we entered into the NAFTA, our society has been driven to a cash/work mentality. We have lost the joy of living, we are to busy surviving.

Our leader sold us out.

Doc Sage
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 49
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:40:11 PM
I grew up and spent most of my life in Ontario, specifically Toronto and the surrounding area. From age 6 to 30.

Now I'm in BC again and I was told by my father that BC is a 'friendlier' place but since I've had no real contact with anyone here, I wouldn't know if people are nicer or not compared to in Toronto and the east. My instinct is to stay away from people because of how unfriendly most I've encountered have been throughout many years in the GTA, so I don't know if that's something I should either hold on to, or try to let go of if this is indeed a nicer, friendlier place.

That I'm here on this site is to find out, I suppose. I don't know anyone, so I'm trying to make a friend or two.
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 50
view profile
Are British Columbians friendlier
Posted: 7/5/2012 10:42:25 AM
Here's a little experiment you can all try. I've already done this.
Go for a walk around the Seawall. Smile and politely say hi or hello to people as you pass by them. Watch their reactions.
Most will flat out refuse to make any resemblance of eye contact.
Of those that do; some will not acknowledge your existence, some will look with confusion as if they are not quite certain what to do, others will look at you with an expression that is clearly saying f**k off, and then there are a few, not many who will return your smile and say hello back. Not many though.
Go ahead, try it.
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