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Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 493
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why do men only care about sex???Page 25 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
But yes it is a lose/lose situation so most guys figure take the shot instead of being dragged into the friend zone abyss gradually.

Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 499
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 2/29/2012 12:33:10 AM
This is the third thread you've posted the same crap. Are you trying to blame women because you cheated on your wife and she's divorcing you now because you couldn't stay away from some other woman? That's what it sounds like from your rants.

Also if want someone read your BS try using paragraphs.

Why are you looking for a relationship on a dating site when you're still married? The very thing you're complaining about in part of your rant. Pot meet Kettle, anyone?
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 502
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 2/29/2012 10:33:04 AM
O-W if you have some advise I don't have you blocked send me email and give it.
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 512
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 3/19/2012 10:38:54 AM
It's not that guys only care about sex, it's just that sex is what instinctively attracts us to the woman. We are still animals.

Most guys DO want to actually get to know the woman, and build something. But understand how the male mind works. Instinctively, we're looking for the right match for having kids. Even if we don't want kids, it's just how the human mind works, and why an athletic build is so appealing on the opposite sex. That strength and fitness = a strong fit kid.

Now, there are people who are only trying to get laid, on both sides... Sex is addictive, some people just don't have the control, some people use it for power, and some are just jerks.
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 518
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/3/2012 3:19:55 AM
Amusing how the rest of your contradicted your claim that you're interested in women for more than just what's between their lines.

Probably best suited to end such friendships if you're tired of female friends being close to you while making it clear you're just friends . It seems quite clear you're not interested in them as a friend and think you should be given sex in return for helping her study or listening to her otherwise you're being used as an emotional punching bag.
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 521
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/5/2012 6:28:08 PM

but women are way more picky, choosy on who they will sleep with, have sex with than men are

I'm not seeing how this is a negative unless you're complaining that it's hard for you to f*ck a woman. If so then depending on your location there's the availability of prostitutes who generally will only be as choosy as their price. Probably better suited to think that women can be as picky as they want with who they sleep with and it's not a demerit or indicative of men having it so hard as women don't owe men a f*ck.
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 524
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/6/2012 12:24:46 AM
annywn is right. we also like food.

OP: in all seriousness, think about what you offer a man. sometimes if we meet a girl that we feel doesnt have any long term viability for us, but WILL have sex, thats all we will care about...with her. most men i know are looking for a relationship, we are all just being careful who we get involved with.
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 526
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/6/2012 5:32:19 AM

If there is no long term viability then do not have sex with her and confuse things for the woman

I doubt most guys would care about confusing things for the gal. Probably best suited for gals not to set themselves up to be confused by think sex = love or believinng that bs that sex is how guys express love.

I don't doubt most guys would b*tch and moan if they were told "in all seriousness, think about what you offer a woman. sometimes if we meet a guy that we feel doesnt have any long term viability for us, but WILL have his money, thats all we will care about...with him. most women i know are looking for a relationship, we are all just being careful who we get involved with."
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 528
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/9/2012 10:07:49 PM
We MOSTLY care about sex, simply because our evolutionary instincts to procreate as much as possible inclines us to, and because our sexualities are more potent and aggressive. On top of that, men are visually stimulated ten times more than women are, meaning our desire for sex is constantly triggered from merely looking at a woman or something that resembles one.

Men have hearts, but they are only as big as their you-know-whats. Your best bet is to not give a guy your body until he marries you. If he's not willing to do that then he's not worth it and it clearly means he wants to use your body with a backup plan of escape.

Anyway the longer women keep freaking out about men being so sexual and think they can change or ignore it, the longer everything's gonna be effed up.

Men are sexually driven. Women are emotionally driven. Compromise by trading one for the other and solidify it by getting hitched first so its as difficult as possible for him to bail on you if he's a **stard.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 529
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/10/2012 9:12:35 AM

simply because our evolutionary instincts to procreate as much as possible inclines us to,

Yeah, and when is the last time you had to kill a sabre-toothed tiger or join with the other people of your clan to stampede a woolly mammoth over a cliff in order to have food?

Men have hearts, but they are only as big as their you-know-whats.

Please, ladies, don't take that literally...big d*ck does not guarantee an equally big heart-or brain.

Your best bet is to not give a guy your body until he marries you. If he's not willing to do that then he's not worth it and it clearly means he wants to use your body with a backup plan of escape.

So, every man and woman who-for whatever reason(s)-who would like a mutual emotionally supportive relationship, is SOL because marriage is the only "safe bet"?
Real adults whose sociosexual development isn't stuck in 10th grade, knows that good sex is not a matter of "giving one's body " "giving it up" or "get the goody and run"-it 's a matter of SHARING.

Of course, if there is a universal male desire that all women close their legs until a marriage ceremony has occurred, if there is a universal male desire that parents teach their daughters that sex is not to be enjoyed by a woman, it is to be used as a tool, a lever, a weapon-then by all means lets go back to the '50s!
Really, dude? REALLY? That is what you want?

Well then I guess its' OK for women to just pick men with lots of money, power and material possessions, marry them, and dole out just enough of that icky sex act to keep him behaving properly, and to get children that can be used as a financial and emotional weapon in the divorce.

Really, dude? Really? This is what you want?

Believe it or not, guys, women also have instincts, and women are perfectly capable of getting great pleasure out of sex. Yes, the basic drive goes back, I'm sure, to the time in prehistory when propagation of the species required everyones' participation. When society evolved to the level where confirming the legitimate male parentage of heirs was of major importance, then it became necessary to control womens' sexuality in order to insure she only copulated with one man.
I'm not advocating that we create a matriarchy or that people of both genders simply act out all sexual whims and impulses. I think that a solid 2-parent family is probably the best modern way to raise children.

I also can grasp the idea that for a lot of men there is a possessive/territorial instinct-or maybe it's just an "ick factor!" that causes them to seek vaginas that haven't been in contact with every penis in the parish. Believe it or not, a lot of women prefer men whose penises have not been in every vagina in the parish, either.

But to go back to the old division of "good girls do't have sex until after the wedding"-therefore causing society to engineer an underclass of women where men can "obtain sex" without marriage/commitment-will bring us right back to some of the scenarios that men seem to frequently use as cause or justification for cheating and even divorce-
"marriage has become loveless" -which usually means sexless.

IMO, we as a society are in a position where we can re-engineer sex as a shared expression of some positive emotion, or we can continue to make sex some "prize" that men have to try and get women to "give it up". And then sit in judgement of women who "give it up too easily".

I'm not speaking here of indiscriminate and/or irresponsible sex, because I do think many humans of BOTH genders do have an "ick factor"( or they SHOULD have one)-but can't we start having more respect for one anothers'
intelligence,instead of acting like dating is something where men try to get sex as "inexpensively" as possible ("expense " meaning much more than money!) and women trying to command the highest "price" for it( "price" meaning much more than money!)
Maybe we ALL need to start reminding our allegedly hardwired instincts that the times have changed?
Cindy O
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 531
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/10/2012 8:23:34 PM
Hmm. I wonder how long you make these guys wait?
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 535
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/13/2012 10:41:16 AM
@ladyc4-- It honestly seems like we agree on a lot of the fundamentals, and the ones I don't stand on are still valid points. But points I feel have been regurgitated into oblivion by now and will not be vindicated in the long run.

Yeah, with the caveman skit: I get it, that's funny and astute. But seriously. Please. This whole "times have changed", "we've evolved blah blah" thing-- Your party is acting like our race has made some quantum cognitive evolutionary leap within the last two generations and now we're supposed to be perfect. Yeah, shit in humanity advances, or is cyclical whatever. But dude-- human nature does not change. It just won't. Humans are not only imperfect, but they are biologically hardwired to be imperfect. We are literally animals. We are slightly smarter gorillas. Ask any dude or lady in a white coat. So stop painting this picture suggesting its our obligation by now to be fully evolved magical space people whose actions are individually dictated by an identical set of morally flawless mathematical love equations.

Also, nobody's going to hurt anybody by at least being wary that we MIGHT think and act in ways that are influenced by our baser drives respective to our sex and species-- I don't see what we have to lose by at least keeping it into consideration. I mean, better safe than sorry, right? There is only profit to gain by a guy saying to himself, "I can't let my inner monkey do the thinking for me on this", as he stands before an obnoxious fight-picking drunken fool with a broken pools stick, or perhaps his brother's recently scorned ex-fiance lying in wait on his bed. If he acknowledges his instincts WHILE acknowledging his ethics, he will roar into his pillow and jerk off, respectively. Are you reading me yet?

I am aware that presently I am speaking wholly on the the behalf of men.

I feel what so many women these days claim is that men try to fall back on this 'instinct' bit only to justify being promiscuous, being emotionally detached, or their abandonment of a sexual relationship after they've had their fill and etc. But instead of being rational and attempting to extract the beneficial truths behind these tendencies that are definitely abhorrent, they simply administer this crazy zero tolerance, eyes and ears shut complete rebuking of it. Like a psychotic murderer giving an eloquent plea that his 12 mutilated victims were crucial elements of his grand art piece. You're just like, NO, GOD, NO, I WON'T HAVE THIS! Unfortunately, even said sociopath deserves careful heeding. But then most likely the judge's like, "Uh huh, uh huh, I see. Ah yes, I see your point. But it's wrong cuz this this and this, see you in hell." And fine.

So my point and claim here is that men actually ARE by nature promiscuous horny heartless animal monster machines, but all you do is MANAGE it. You as in the man himself, women, society, law, moral pressures, etc. You establish as much shit as possible to make it difficult to abuse and easier to optimize. IMO, the best way to do this is by young arranged marriages, supported and bound by extended families and close-knit village-esque communities from vows to death- I know that's crazy but I'm just saying. And I also know you and women hate this idea of treating sex like some sort of volatile super powerful thing that requires a tight containment protocol--- it takes a lot of the romance out of it if you dwell on it, for sure.

But dude? We're talking about DAMAGE control here. Societal stability. People not getting broken hearted, jaded into celibacy, girls not getting emotionally scarred via having to get an abortion, sons not having dads to keep them from turning into convicts, etc. 'Love' and 'Freedom' and all that lucky charms marshmallow bullshit I'll admit is real and invaluable (even though I'm clearly cynical about it), but I swear to you: it is not as important as actual THINGS. FACTS. CAUSE. EFFECT. STATISTICS. TENDENCY. PROBABILITY. SOCIOLOGY. There is a best way to do everything, and doing it based on pretty words that don't even have universal definitions will only bring pain. And, unlike ethics, pain is something we can all agree on.

Man, I'm a borderline agnostic and I STILL think all this is true. So don’t think for a second I’m some delusional zealot.

Also, you ARE a prize to be won. So am I, I like to think. We are both to be objectified to an appropriate degree. For example, women are drawn to “security”. If this weren’t true, taller men would not be statistically more successful with women (but this is particularly objectifying since height is uncontrolled and has no bearing on a man’s heart or behavior, yet still it’s a perk). Of course there’s the emotional security that comes from the commitment and faithfulness. And money-- honestly, I don't understand where money came into play in your argument, but I‘ll be the first to say a man shouldn‘t be measured by the thickness of his wallet. Especially not these days. Yet on the flipside of that, financial stability of any kind DOES kind of reflect persistence, responsibility, reliability-- so it’s a balance--- but ultimately a man is a PRIZE to be WON for his “security”. On the other side of the gender coin, “beauty” (sex) is the PRIZE won for a man. It can seem dehumanizing, but at least acknowledging this basic truth will help more than hurt.

I still think your underlying mistaken belief is that in general you think men and women in fact have the same perspective of sex, or that they SHOULD have the same perspectives of sex. Holy sh*tballs batman, how black and charred the earth shall be before that is ever hardly true haha. Any man after two drinks who’s prompted by a decently healthy naked woman is going to succumb. The sexually opposite scenario, not at all. And yes I am aware of the hyperbole that women don’t care about sex. But the female orgasm is not an iota of the issue in the modern degeneration of male-female sexual interaction. It’s everything else.

Anyway don't you think there's something beautiful about a guy knowing that he's dangerous and potentially destructive, and in some place inside him WANTS to be a monster, but CHOOSES to chain himself down for a woman? Permanently? Asking that the chains be locked and the keys broken by law and community? I'll tell you: That is man love. Man love isn't warm and fuzzy words or weird emotional synchronization or loving all the same shit you do. It's the desire to commit, exclusively, and the insistence it also be forced upon him, in spite of himself. It's not words. It's action.

But. I'm just a wacky idealist, as you can see. I don't know how else to sum any of this up for you other than "Deal with it."
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 541
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/21/2012 8:20:38 PM
sex is an important part of a relationship, not a "bonus".
Joined: 2/1/2011
Msg: 542
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/22/2012 2:15:45 PM
I'm a man and sex isn't the only thing I care about. I want a well-balanced relationship with someone who can be both my best friend and my lover. Unfortunately, I've never met that person and, at this rate, probably never will.

I think it has to do with gender roles. Males are supposed to be the aggressive hunters in our traditional gender roles, which implies a high degree of sexual desire. For myself, I tend to reject that role and end up in an awkward situation where I think I seem weak or something. At any rate, ladies, the reason why you keep encountering men who seem like they only want sex is because society has programmed you to subconsciously find that appealing. Even if you consciously want someone who is more balanced in their desires, you're probably not going to find them attractive because they fail to meet society's masculine role, and your subconscious wants a more 'masculine' man. Thence, you won't typically have an encounter at all with men who do not meet that role, because from the outset they will be unappealing to you and you will reject them before you ever know the first thing about them.

Now, I should be quick to disclaim that I'm not looking to point fingers or complain about the troubles of being a "nice guy". I'm simply presenting my theory on why so many women only encounter a single type of guy.
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 547
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 9/27/2012 8:44:43 AM
Its biology. Just the way its been since the dawn of time. Some men might tell you otherwise but thats just so they can trick you into thinking thats not what they're after. Some women can be just as interested in sex. Really depends on the person. I think our species in general is sexual.
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 552
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 10/2/2012 5:21:52 AM
Only about sex? No, there are other things men care about too. I will admit, however, that sex is high on the list for many. Just how high can depend on the day.

Counter question - why is a man wanting sex such a bad thing? Don't you like sex too?
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 557
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 10/12/2012 7:20:57 PM
In case anyone is still actually reading this thread,

Girls complain about men using them for sex, Sex is awesome!!! Start Complaining when they use you for laundry or a human shield. nuff said.
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 558
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 10/15/2012 10:29:30 AM
Hey ppl I am 25 and single. I am from India and came to US 3 years back as a student. Now I am working full-time. Right from my high school days I am attracted to women older than me ( 10 - 15 yrs older). And its not that I don't like women of my age. I do like them. Recently I went on a date with 38 year old Mexican American woman. She is a single mom. We had met at a club where I flirted with her and she responded positively to my flirts. We danced together ( not in a freaky way ) and I thought she kinda liked me. I took her phone number and called her after a week or so and we decided to go for a dinner. We had pretty good conversation. I was pretty honest with her and she was too. Both of us have no plans to get married or so. I always complimented her abt her looks and told her that she looked a lot younger ( like 26 yr old) which she liked very much. This time too I was honest, she does look a little younger for her age. She didn't like one comment of me. I told her that I would love to watch a horror movie with her. So that when a scary scene comes she would automatically jump into my arms. She told with a slight serious look that my tricks wouldn't work on her and she is aware how men think. While leaving she didn't say a proper goodbye but she did leave me a text thanking me for the nice dinner and expressing concern abt me reaching home safely.

I just got the feeling that she thinks that as I am young I am only looking to get intimate with her which I am not. I just want to be with her and date her for the time-being. She is very gorgeous and just being with her and making her laugh makes me happy. She's got Natalie Portman like smile.

So, I am just confused as what she thinks abt me. So, any suggestion ladies?
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 560
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 10/18/2012 5:16:57 PM
Young men or older men..... it is all the same. They want sex without the need to establish or nuture a relationship

What, all men? Well that's quite a generalisation. And with the greatest of respect to you hardcandy2012, it's quite ironic too, when your one and only profile picture has you lying on your bed with your rather ample cleavage on display.

Or maybe there's nothing ironic about that...
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 563
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 10/20/2012 4:47:00 PM
This is so frustrating to me. If a guy doesnt make a pass for a very long time, then you ladies start to wonder if hes gay. If hes too quick, then that is all he is interested in. Hell.....this is hard enough already. Dating is such a crap shoot anyway. I think most of the women on POF are lame anyway. They are just as bad as the men they complain about. I want a full relationship, but all the women want is Adonis and they dont care if he is a player or not, just so hes very hot and sexy. Doesnt matter if he is a bad boy or irresponsible. If he looks good, then you will spread your legs. I want to be in love and loved by a wonderful woman first, then the sex will be so good, you just cant imagine, but I cant find a woman that will settle for an average guy, that would be good to them.
Joined: 11/18/2010
Msg: 569
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why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 11/10/2012 10:21:44 PM
@ Freethinker

I've found overwhelmingly that most women who tell me that they have to take their time and they don't want to sleep with me too soon aren't being honest. What ends up happening is they sleep with me, sex is great, we talk and have fun outside of bed too, and then they say they aren't ready for a relationship because they need to find themselves or figure out what they want to do with their lives, etc. And these girls varied in their careers and relationship history too. And I found it doesn't even matter if I tell them upfront that I want a relationship or if I decide later. I get the same result most of the time. So it makes me wonder if I should stay open to serious relationships at all.
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 570
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 11/11/2012 12:43:54 AM
Decartes talked about a dualism between our physical impulse and our soul (he said they intersect).

I think he is on to something. Imagine a spirit lebvel with the bubble tilting one way or the other or sitting in the middle. For some men the bubble is more often than not on the ohysical side, for other men their buble moves between the two, some sit on the other side. (applicable to women as well i think).

I find it easier to understand motivation and behavior when i see it like this. Makes it easier to not be overly judgemental of people i think.
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 571
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:54:53 PM
Kind of sad IMO that I see most of these guys saying all they focus on first is sex.

I'm a guy and its really the last thing I focus on. But no one wants to date me, so apparently women DO want sex first.
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 573
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 11/15/2012 3:09:58 PM
Funny thing is, I'm a man and I've been used for sex when I've actually wanted more. It goes both ways, some women only care about sex.
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 575
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 11/15/2012 8:55:37 PM
don5978 brings up a very good point. i know many men who really dont see much point in pursuing anything besides sex or fwb with women. i have wondered about this often myself.
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