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 Canadian Ink
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 43
What is the proper garb for a first date?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I'm going to have to agree with the person who posted a couple up. Some people (some, not all) place a lot more emphasis on the first meeting than they should. Wanting to impress the other person or even going as basic as just wanting to make a good first impression should always take a backseat to who you are as an individual. Be yourself, not who you think the other person might want you to be. I know for myself, all I ever wear is baseball caps, jeans and hooded sweatshirts. It's just who I am and how I like to dress. Obviously, not going to go as far as the examples some people gave, of ratty, torn jeans and wrinkled shirts, etc. But whether I'm meeting someone for the first time or the fiftieth time, I'm going to come wearing what I feel comfortable in and what makes me who I am. The point of meeting someone is to show them who you are and see if you're compatible. If they have a problem with what I'm wearing, then we'd politely say thanks for meeting and go our seperate ways. Too often, especially in situations like this, people fail to accept others for who they are, instead hoping for them to be who they would like them to be. Meet the person, if they don't fit your standard (whether realistic or otherwise) then just accept that they're not the one for you. Simple as that.
 WriterGirl28
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 44
What is the proper garb for a first date?
Posted: 12/7/2009 7:24:06 PM
The last three "first dates" I've been on he was wearing:

1) Khakis, and a ball cap. We went bowling, so both knew up front it was casual. Totally appropriate for the the venue.

2) Track pants, Patriots sweatshirt, sneakers and a ball cap, for dinner at a nice restaurant.

3) Jeans, with a button down shirt and casual shoes (not sneakers), and NO ball cap, for dinner at a "polished casual" restaurant. He'd been there before, told me it was casual, I asked if it was "jeans" or "nicer", and he said, "Jeans, and I'll wear the same."

1 and 3 were hits, 2 was a miss...

I think the key here is exactly what others have said, communicate! I knew in all three cases what the dress code would/should be, and in two of three cases, so did the guy. I wouldn't rule out a guy based solely on what he was wearing for the first meet, but his attire is part of the whole "first impression" thing...

 Canadian Ink
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 45
What is the proper garb for a first date?
Posted: 12/7/2009 7:40:30 PM
Not even going to bother quoting your post, whzcheatinwho, because I agree with everything you said. This part really stood out, though. Pretty much sums up everything I was saying, but you said it a lot more succintly.


He should dress however he wants to and if I like or dislike his style I will take that into consideration, but I definitely do not expect him to dress any "differently" than he normally would just because he's meeting me. I want to see who he really is, not who he thinks he needsto be to impress me.


Very well said. Wish more people thought like this.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 46
What is the proper garb for a first date?
Posted: 12/7/2009 8:08:26 PM
"Proper"? lol As long as he showered, clothes are ironed and he smells good - it's all good. Not like we're going to a blk-tie affair and he needs to be in a tux!

It would all depend on where we were going...i.e. park, restaurant, beach.....etc.......
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 47
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What is the proper garb for a first date?
Posted: 12/7/2009 8:08:52 PM
Even though the OP and first bunch of posts are from 2-1/2 years ago, I thought it was interesting to note this:

jan_fobia wrote:
he shows up dressed like he's going to a tractorpull. I'm from the south and there alot of rednecks here but do they always have to wear a baseball hat and tennis shoes. Do they own a pair of khakis?

So, jeans, sneakers, and baseball hat.

But, where was the first date? What was the venue? Was that sort of dress appropriate to it? Did anyone confirm with anyone else about this kind of thing.

That aside, after other responses, jan_fobia wrote:
You guys who say you don't really care what the women are wearing--well if she showed up dirty hair, dirty clothes, you'd probably think twice about seeing her again.

Excuse me? I don't recall your first post saying anything about the guy having unwashed hair or dirty clothes, just casual clothes. You mentioned NOTHING about any lack of cleanliness.



But, let's see - off the top of my head and reaching into the past, I've had one instance of showing up to a first date where we were going to see a movie. We agreed that jeans/sneakers/tee would be just fine. She seemed a bit irritated that I had denim shorts on... keeping in mind that the temperatures were in the high 80s.

Another instance where I had to take public transportation to get there, and hoof-it for about a half mile, and it was mid-summer, hot, and humid. She seemed a bit put off by my khakis and, well, it I guess is technically a tee-shirt, but certainly nicer than your average tee. I most certainly wasn't going to wear a button-shirt and jacket in that weather, so I could show up drenched in sweat, thank you very much!

Maybe some of womens' "nicer" clothes allow for breathing and for such weather, but most men's clothes don't.
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 48
What is the proper garb for a first date?
Posted: 12/7/2009 8:18:53 PM
"Now you see the problem, look at answers from my last post, 2 for jeans, 4 against suits and comments everywhere in between."

Actually, Mr. Evil, it shows that people should just dress for the occasion.

I have done baseball game (Go Blue Jays!) and dinner as first dates, would sneakers and a baseball be out of place then?
 GingersnapWA2
Joined: 11/26/2009
Msg: 51
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/7/2009 11:28:39 PM
Like the OP, I wear nice clothes on dates. It is a real disappointment when the guy shows up in sweats (as he squeezed in our meeting before going to the gym), or in shorts & flip-flops. These kind of clothing blunders tell me that the guy put no thought or consideration into our date. Not the kind of guy that I want in my life....
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 54
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/8/2009 8:10:18 AM

Its only a real disappointment if the date shows up and they're fugly, isn't that what we all really mean.
I have found as long as you are very attractive people don't care what you are wearing.


Methinks there is more truth in that than even I am almost unwilling to admit.

Put a fugly man or woman in nice wrapping paper, they will still look the same without the paper.

However, I am of the opinion that we should still make the effort to look as good as we can. I was once propositioned by a lesbian, and one reason I turned her down was because of the way she dressed. I couldn't get beyond the muscle pants with the red hot chili pepper print, the greasy hair, the ancient man's hat with the greasy headband, and the constant too-big sweatshirt. She was fine for a friend, but a lover, no way.
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 55
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/8/2009 8:12:31 AM
My first PoF date ever the guy showed up wearing wrinkled, stained clothes..it was like he was even trying to make a good impression....
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 56
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/8/2009 1:35:31 PM
"However, I am of the opinion that we should still make the effort to look as good as we can. I was once propositioned by a lesbian, and one reason I turned her down was because of the way she dressed. I couldn't get beyond the muscle pants with the red hot chili pepper print, the greasy hair, the ancient man's hat with the greasy headband, and the constant too-big sweatshirt. She was fine for a friend, but a lover, no way. "

I think anyone who comes in muscle pants, man or women, shouldn't only be rejected, but given a slap to the side of the head.
 fetish4u
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 58
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I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/8/2009 9:54:19 PM
I dress in jeans and a t-shirt most of the time.Not into dressing up.If the woman doesn't like it then she can look elsewhere.I'm going to dress the way I want.
 Centennial
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 60
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What is the proper garb for a first date?
Posted: 12/9/2009 8:55:44 AM
Well as far as being French Canadian which my appearance is quite important!!! C'mon guys, women want the alluring scent of pheramones and not perspiration!!lol
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 62
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I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/9/2009 9:01:42 AM
I dress in jeans and a t-shirt most of the time.Not into dressing up.If the woman doesn't like it then she can look elsewhere.I'm going to dress the way I want.


A lot of women have told me jeans and tees are my best look, however I like stylish attire on the "Itlalian" side of fashion. If you've ever been to Italy, or Paris, you can't help but notice how much more stylish men and women dress than they do here. It's about an aesthetic in everyday life that's missing here IMHO. I think it's an American value, you know, things are utitilitarian and practical...extends to clothing as well it seems.
I realize that many want to wear what's comfortable for them. I guess for me, taillored slacks and nice looking collared shirts are just as comfortable as jeans and tees. I've also noticed that comfort in these kinds of clothing is hard to come by unless you're willing to spend more money. This could be a deterent too for some.
And for me...comparing two potential romantic interests; all other things being more or less equal.. I go for the more stylish dresser; just my personal taste.
 Centennial
Joined: 3/22/2008
Msg: 65
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I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/9/2009 9:20:42 AM
ZZ Top couldn't have said it better!!!! Every girls crazy for a sharp dressed man!!!!
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 67
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/9/2009 9:32:04 AM

I have had several dates like this. I wear nice clothes, fix my hair, wear a little makeup on a blind date, and he shows up dressed like he's going to a tractorpull. I'm from the south and there alot of rednecks here but do they always have to wear a baseball hat and tennis shoes.


baseball cap and sneakers? that is considered being "Dressed Up" in a lot of places.


 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 68
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I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/9/2009 1:36:58 PM
Wow, what a bunch of superficial caca. As long as he/she doesn't stink, obviously took the time to bathe/brush teeth/wear CLEAN clothes...how could you judge a person on their choice of attire? Rather superficial, and bound to attract the same sort of superficial person...go forth, multiply...be pretty and superficial together...and in the overall scheme of things, live a relatively meaningless life, worrying about what other people think of you based on what you looked like.


Guess what...those of us who like wearing baseball hats and sneakers tend to feel sorry for you peacocks, and the importance you attach to such artifice.

Some people just don't get what is important in life.


Go ahead and wear whatever you like, but please leave room for others to do the same.
I don't judge anyone for their choice of attire. Please consider that there are those who have tastes that differ from your own. If a guy or a gal has a very nice body or figure and looks good in clothes,plus has the wherewithall to have nice clothing, why shouldn't they enjoy dressing stylishly? I have two vehicles; a pick-up and a BMW sedan. Just like clothing, neither of them is suitable for all occasions; and like clothing either one can be fun to use/drive in the proper context. Many of us live in urban settings where the opportunities and occasions for dressing "up" present themselves more fequently( shows, theater, art openings, concerts, night clubs etc.).
As well, there are those that appreciate the fact that nice clothes give pleasure to the wearer and to those who see them.
Do you deny that there is a pleasure factor in all material things of quality? Why put down things that simply give someone pleasure? One need not be a prima donna or a peacock to enjoy quality, tasteful and stylish clothing. One need only be appreciative of the finer things in life as defined by their particular set of values. I'm of the opinion that enjoying ones life in the manner one chooses is a very important thing indeed.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 69
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I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/9/2009 2:59:53 PM
damassteel wrote:
all other things being more or less equal.. I go for the more stylish dresser; just my personal taste.


Though I can't help but to ask - when have all other things EVER been more or less equal?

Strangely, I use that phrase "all other things being equal" way too much - and constantly find myself stopping and saying "of course, they NEVER are"
 tjl2280
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 72
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/9/2009 8:19:59 PM
On a first date you are going to find me wearing what I usually do, I will not act as if it is an interview because this is me take me or leave me. I usually wear a hat (full head of hair) a collared shirt and a nice pair of pants. I wan't you to see me what I am most comfortable in. If a girl is wearing jeans and a tshirt it won't be a turnoff for me, even better if she has enough courage not to wear makeup and shows me her true self. If they aren't happy with it I'm sure they will find their suit and tie wearing guy but thats just not me.
 tjl2280
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 74
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/9/2009 8:47:00 PM
What I meant was I would rather have a girl show me her true self then wear make up. Of course It would change my view on someone who had bad eczema or whatever her face. Just like if a guy was bald under his cap or hat( who cares if you think there is a difference) Where I'm from I call them hats. What I meant is I would rather have a girl show me her true self and if thats wearing jeans without makeup then I'm all for it. If she usually dresses with makeup and a dress then I'm all for that. A girl who will show me her true self and not wear make up even better.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 76
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I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/10/2009 6:21:03 AM
What I see emerging here is a pitched battle between those who see clothing as something merely to cover their nakedness and those who see it as something to reflect their personal aesthetic. I don't believe these two camps will ever come together. The first seems to think that the additional effort required to dress nicely is just too much of an effort, while the second sees it as no trouble at all really. The first says"Take me as I am", the second, "Well...this IS how I am...comfortable being dressy". We are not all equal in our ability to express and recognize aesthetics, so let's not pretend we are. Instead I think it best to understand that we all have different tastes and just leave it at that. Because again, facts can be argued, but never tastes.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 77
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/10/2009 4:02:57 PM

Because again, facts can be argued, but never tastes.


And I was going to email you to commend you on that statement, but you don't want to hear from me.
 thatusernameistaken
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 80
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/11/2009 7:19:30 AM
Ha! I love this topic. I have been concerned about the exact OPPOSITE. lol

I normally wear khakis and polo style shirts. Going in to dates I often wonder if the woman will think I have "overdressed" if we are just meeting for drinks or an informal dinner or movie.

How about that one? I've honestly been thinking about going out and getting some nicer jeans and nicer tee shirts just so that I have better dress down clothes. lol
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 82
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/11/2009 9:45:26 AM
Gawd..How complicated does life HAVE to be?

You make a date, coffee or dinner( whatever) and say "I plan on wearing such and such, what will you be wearing?"

It is the polite thing to do, saves you both from being over or under dressed.

Also helps you recognize them." I will be the long haired woman in a black turtle neck and red skirt, how will I recognize you"?

If he says "the dude in jean shorts and git r dun cap"..Well, you may suggest an alternative or just go ahead and break the date if it is that big of a deal.


I happen to LIKE to be casual in jeans and a sweater first meet. So much pressure people put on people without having to look like I just stepped out of a Vogue magazine first date.

Just think and be considerate.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 83
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I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/11/2009 10:37:02 AM
I happen to LIKE to be casual in jeans and a sweater first meet. So much pressure people put on people without having to look like I just stepped out of a Vogue magazine first date.

People who really know style and are good with picking clothing that compliments their individuality cannot look bad no matter what they choose to wear IMHO. They know the fabrics, cuts, colors and styles that look the best for their particular type. As well, they tend not to be slaves to fashion in the sense of always going with what's "in style" so to say, but rather choose clothing that's classic and serviceable through the years as well as blending in with what's current.
Their wardobes are flexible too. They shop with a mental picture of what's in their closet and choose clothing that will work in a variety of combinations with what they already have. Just some observations.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 86
I dressed nice, he wore a baseball hat and sneakers...
Posted: 12/11/2009 10:53:57 PM
the way a man dresses says alot about him..it says if he has money, class and style...if a man is dressed in a baseball cap and tennies it says...he has none of these....just don't go on a second date with him because he has positively nothing to offer you...
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