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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 romanticbob
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 1
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Do men and women love the chase? Are women turned off by men who are too easy to catch? Or men turned off by women too easy to catch? What do you think?
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 2
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 1:05:30 AM
i do not play games
 romanticbob
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 3
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 1:37:35 AM
Well, folks, I've been back in the dating scene now for about three months and I can tell you from personal experience that "playing hard to get" is still being practiced by some women (and no, it isn't that they don't want to go out with you, because I've learned that continued persistence does succeed with such women, if you are willing to put in the effort). It isn't just a high school or junior high school thing of the past.
 Africanmale
Joined: 4/22/2005
Msg: 4
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 3:07:39 AM
Gets your blood pumping.
 mr.classicchevy
Joined: 2/27/2005
Msg: 5
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 4:35:54 AM
I see alot of people like playing games on this site.Typical.This seems to the norm in the world too. In other words let me see if can hurt someone just to find something out about a person.But these same people claim they want honesty.What a joke!
 Vandelai
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 6
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 5:25:40 AM
I don't play hard to get...I play "Hard to WANT!"
 abyssdc1
Joined: 8/8/2004
Msg: 7
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Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 9:45:47 AM
No, if they want to play games they can go back to high school. There are many out there that don`t so why waste my time with those that do.
 abyssdc1
Joined: 8/8/2004
Msg: 8
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Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 9:55:52 AM
blush,
 Gentlmanlooking4alady
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 9
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 11:38:33 AM
he key word in your premise is "play". Why play games, life just isn't worth it, why lie, deceive, or pretend; just be honest and don't waste time. There's PlentyofFish out there, why try to sit and discern if the "hard to get" is an act or true disinterest? To me it just indicates that this would be the beginning of a lot of games if things went further. Why play games, just say what you mean....but that's just me?
 romanticbob
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 11
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 6:02:50 PM
Well, let me tell you about a situation that I just found out about today. For months this lady at church has been melting every time I talk with her. You know the situation, smile, face gets flushed, hands messing with hair, and so on. All positive body language. I didn't move on it right away because at the time I had other interests that were absorbing my time.

Two months ago I asked her for a date. You could have knocked me over with a feather. She said she was busy this weekend, next weekend, and during the week. Gave all kinds of excuses for not going out with me. She finally told me she would think about it. After some persistence, she also gave me her telephone number.

It has been a long standing practice of mine, since high school days, never to attempt a date with anyone who turned me down the first time and to never date that person even if she came up to me later and told me she was available.

Today, I learned that the church lady had done the same thing to another gentleman, but he persisted and persisted and persisted and she finally gave in last week and they are now dating.

She obviously felt that if someone persisted, even though she played hard to get, that was the person she wanted. So, I say again, adults are playing the game today, feeling that it will make the person want them more. In the case of the church lady, I guess she got what she wanted.

I didn't! Because I wouldn't play the game. I now wonder if I should have...
 Gentlmanlooking4alady
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 14
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 10:39:00 PM
Playing hard to get is basically like saying "prove you're good enough for me"; kind of a power trip of sorts. I just won't play that game either. I would like to say I really liked what Madelaina had to say and re-assure RomanticBob that if he had that policy before, he should keep it. I also have that policy, and I'll bet that if you watch this church lady thing play out, you'll be happy in the end. Playing games is building on a lie, and on a power trip. Why go there?
 WeekendHuntressKatelynn21
Joined: 3/25/2005
Msg: 15
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 4/24/2005 10:52:14 PM
I don't play hard to get. i tease... I find it's more effective and a LOT more fun for both parties involved
 SimplyPeachy
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 16
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 8/23/2007 6:27:11 AM

What do you think?


I think -- if I catch a single whiff (catch the scent) of a man attempting to 'play hard to get', I'll drop him immediately. Play games on the field, NOT with me. All you do is introduce uncertainty and drama to where it is not needed. Some like drama. I do not.

May I need to revise the first two words above to I KNOW, I'd drop him immediately, rather than I think.

 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 17
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 8/23/2007 10:14:55 PM
Any adult who plays that game will always want to be chased.
Adults shouldn't have to play games. Women say no, respect that. MANY of the women who say no but mean yes usually have no self respect and don't think their own opinions or words should be heeded.
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 18
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 8/23/2007 10:15:40 PM
Oh, same goes for guys.
My Super Sombrero agrees.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 19
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Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 8/24/2007 5:45:11 AM
I think that some men and some women love the chase, and value it as more important than achieving a relationship with another person. I do think that women are turned off by men who are too easy sometimes, as it is possible to think that they just want any woman, and not her, and therefore one COULD imagine that one is being used for sex, or that the man is not really interested in her needs and wants anyway. I think that a lot of men are turned off if a woman is too easy, as they worry that she either just wants a boyfriend and is not really interested in him anyway, or that if she is too easy, she could be unfaithful just as easily.

When I was younger, I used to think that games were puerile and childish. Now that I'm older, I realise that most people don't find it easy to either distinguish between truth and lies, and don't find it easy to fully express themselves, as so much of communication is about how things are said, and not just what is said. So, IMHO, "playing hard to get", may not always be a bad thing. For me, I realise that it just means that I don't fully understand enough about the psychology of people and how relationships are conducted to fully navigate these "games" w/out getting caught up in them.

But I can understand that one person's honesty may be someone else' games, and if I may see a game being played, to the other person, they may see themselves as being honest.

I just look at it as a learning curve.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 20
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 8/24/2007 8:25:54 AM
It's very very important when I don't want to be gotten. But then.. that's not PLAYING hard to get. If I am not interested... I can't be gotten.

If I'm interested in someone and them in me... I don't play anything. Equal amounts of pursuing ensues.. displays of interest or flat out announcements. Whichever.
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 21
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 8/24/2007 12:38:39 PM
Playing -Hard to Get- can be detrimental to finding that Perfect Match . . right under your Nose..!
You'll never know how many Excellent people you've missed out on . . because they see it as Game-playing . . and perceive Hard-to-Get as Snooty, Conceited or Flighty . . !
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 22
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:16:07 PM
>> Do men and women love the chase? Are women turned off by men who are too
>> easy to catch? Or men turned off by women too easy to catch? What do you think?

As pointed out, don't play games. Adults should act like adults, and if the relationship starts out with this sort of game, where will it go from here? Jealousy? Or trying to make partners jealous? Infidelity, or apparent infidelity to see if the other person is still interested? If you want to play those games, fine. High school is out for most of us (18+), and so should these games -- which shouldn't even have been played in Highschool.

If it's all about the catch... what next? They move on to the next hard-to-get?

If you are looking for a comfortable, secure, and game-free relationship, don't start out with games.

On the other hand, this is about going out, not about hopping into bed. That is done all too often, and mostly for the wrong reasons. IMHO it's about the most unattractive thing about a person, especially in this day and age of killer disease. And don't forget herpes.... I'm seeing more and more commercials for medications... meaning the drug companies see a huge potential untapped market.

On another site, I see bulletins constantly about their HPV tests, and treatments, and .... I just feel tragically sorry for those girls -- many in their very early 20s, and very pretty (they are models). They just get used, and used, and keep doing it.

That's the flip-side of playing hard to get when you are attracted -- it's being too easy, when you know it isn't going to work. Having sex, isn't going to keep your partner around, it's a short term "fix" sometimes with dire consequences.

Scott
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?