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 AUTHOR
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 682
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advicePage 8 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
tuhracy:

Not much to go on here, you need to tell us a lot more about who you are, what you like, what you do, want, need, maybe a couple pics of you or things you like. Read some of the other profiles, learn from them, and read my other and Jacks reviews to get some ideas.

Tell us what you think you would like to do on a fun date, that'll give us an idea of what you like, what you have is too open ended.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 683
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:21:16 PM
Queenbrunette:
If you could retake and get the 2nd picture in focus that looks like a good one. Big smile, you might have somebody take some pics while your doing stuff you like. Don't try to force a smile, try to be laughing, have somebody tell you a joke, or learn one yourself and tell it to the camera person. Diffuse light outside is probably best, strong sun will make you squint and you'll have dark shadows, shade somewhere near a whitish building works great.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 685
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:27:23 PM
irishangel72: Sounds like we might have a couple winners? Funny I saw Kansas in your future when I looked into the crystal ball? I guess I'll climb down out of my tree now, since your not going to shake it. Good luck.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 686
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:41:48 PM
kypharmgirl:

First your pictures aren't that bad, I'd say they are average to good. They show a lot about who you are. They could be clearer but they aren't that bad. I everybody had pictures like that we wouldn't have to say anything about pictures anymore. I found one spelling mistake, the last word, flexible.

I would try to come up with a better more catchy headline. You need to expand the interests a lot. Tell us who you are by telling us what you like to do. That's where people most often find their match in the interests. Your write up should then fill in the gaps of your interests, that's where you tell what you like to sing, do you do it in the shower or at church. Is it Beatles, top 40, Waylon Jennings or Cher?
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 687
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/29/2005 6:42:59 PM
kypharmgirl:

I was busy doing it right then.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 689
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/30/2005 9:13:02 AM
towertycoon:

Your headline: "looking for a girl i can hold all night," might be a little too truthful, granted it's what you want, I've got varied oppinions on it. It might scare some away. In any case I should be capitalized.

Your pictures are good, you might add a couple with you doing things you like other than just standing around getting a picture taken.

Add some more interests, I'm sure you've got a lot more, tell us what kinds of cars, music, and movies. What about sports, you look like you could enjoy some sports.

I'm in your write up, you left out the apostrophe. Spell check is our friend, everybody needs to learn how to use it, when we are presenting things for all to see and they will judge us by what they see. Intelligence or the appearance of intelligence is almost always good. We don't need to know how to spell, (it's great if you do) but knowing how to get a machine to do it for us is a good thing. Again I should be capitalized, lonely, etc. Learn too cut and paste, ctrl C, crtl V and insert into a word processing program, run the spelling program, do a cut and paste back into here.

"want to meat new people," I had to laugh here, should be meet, but it might be true the other way too. :-) Thanks for the laugh, sorry it's on you. Fix up these things add a lot more to the write up, tell us a lot more about yourself, but most of all learn to use a spelling program. Unfortunately most would not find the meat problem. some would with a grammar checker though.

Good luck, try again and let us see the improved version for round two.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 691
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/30/2005 10:06:35 AM
Frank:

First thing the pics need improvement, kissing a beer bottle for an opener just doesn't cut it in my book. And the second one sort of says to me "Do I really have to have my pictures taken? I want to go back to sleep."

I'm sure with your job that you know about spell check and grammar checkers, use them, your profile needs it bad. There's this thing called an apostrophe, used when you contract words like there is at the beginning of this sentence, remember that in school. Remember we are trying to pretend we are intelligent here, everybody wants to find somebody intelligent, right?

It's probably not a good thing to start the profile write up off with a "I do this, but don't judge me by that," That's the whole idea of all this is to prvide stuff for people to judge you, and hopefully they like what they see.

Your headline is good, it gives people a reason to look further, that's what it's all about folks.

Your interests are to broad they need to be more specific and we need a lot more of them if you got them, I'm sure ya do.

Your write up needs a lot more about yourself, things you like, hate, want, need, do, don't do, etc.

Your first date sort of runs on and on and really says nothing, that's all the standard stuff. It sort of reads like, "how to date," get creative and come up with something different, that says you've got a plan for a fun evening.

You've got some work to do before the women beat a path to your profile.
 wandercoast
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 692
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/30/2005 10:55:06 AM
Alright here is mine, fire away.
 towertycoon
Joined: 2/14/2004
Msg: 693
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/30/2005 12:08:05 PM
round two, am i doen better? i'll have to look for some more picture, im not in a lot of pictures, im usualy the one taking the photos. lol!
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 699
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/31/2005 7:50:37 AM
Venomous: Sorry, been busy with other things, I got a life too ya know. And for all you out there I'm Jon, Jack put in his time and is sort of on a break for a while so I'm filling in.

First, the three pictures of you, they all have a different expression, but mostly tell the same thing, try a full body shot to convey more information. Of the three you got I like the second best, the "I'm thinking" one, The first one says to me, "I'm busy, go away" and the last says "This computer is just to slow" Pictures should convey a positive image, that's why we want smiles. Get some pictures of you doing things you like to do.

In the interests I would specifiy what kinds of animals you like, there's a big difference between cats, horses, and mountain lions. Each of these would appeal to a different woman, that's the whole idea of a profile to get the information out to the right woman, that you are the man for her, be specific in the profile and your chances of sucess go way up. If you don't inform they will skip you and look to the next profile to find what they are looking for.
Try to add a lot more stuff in the interest area, that's where people will find you.

Your write up is filled with negative, a lot of it needs to be said but the positive has to out weigh the negative. The negative ( bad relationship, turned off, etc) need to be said but try to put in a lot more this is me, I like this, the best things is, I love to... etc. Put that positive stuff up front and have the negative more to the end but finish on a positive.

first date: You can paint a picture and you should, it will change when you meet somebody but show them that you have some good ideas for a first date.

Get rid of the 75 mile thing, that's to restrictive, she might be 76 miles away, I'm sure you would drive that far if she was the right one.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 702
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/31/2005 3:55:34 PM
Softtulips2005: You need to give us an idea of who this is aimed at????
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 703
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/31/2005 4:11:10 PM
wandercoast:

First thing I see, your pictures, they are all good but in everyone of them the smile seems a little forced, might try to retake them with a more natural smile. Maybe that's your normal smile but that's how I see it. I call them as I see them.

Laughter and adventure doesn't grab you and make you look for more but it's better than some headlines. Might try to spice it up a little with something that leads you to want to learn more about you. Almost everybody promisses Laughter and adventure on here.

You might explain a little more about the types of music and cooking in your interests. This is where you connect with somebody after they have looked at your picture and read your headline. Also many people find you by doing a search for these items, they might search for Jazz, if that's one of your types of music they wouldn't find you because you didn't list it.

We need a lot more in the write up, one typing mistake word ot should be to. I make those mistakes continually, you can probably find a couple in this review.

Try to work a little more humor into the write up, you probably want to convince them they will get just as much humor back as you want to find. I didn't like it when you asked to find somebody to make you laugh, that just didn't set well with me. It's like it is going to be work for them to do it, might try and rewrite that part. My view in the writeup more is always better, you've probably got one chance to catch them, make the most of it.
 wandercoast
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 704
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 8/31/2005 5:48:49 PM
Thanks for the advice. I'm always the one with the camera. Its hard to get a really natural picture of myself when I am always explaining how to use the gear!!! I think you are on to something however.

Thanks.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 705
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/1/2005 8:10:48 AM
wandercoast: You might try to tell them a joke right before the snap the picture that should get you both laughing. Might want the camera on a tripod to eliminate the shakes. Often if the joke had been told before, it just brings a good smile the second time. Telling jokes also makes the teller smile too. Laughing is contagious. Learning and telling jokes is the number one thing I've done in my life to make it easy to get to know women, dancing is a real close second.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 706
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/1/2005 8:22:15 AM
towertycoon:
The things I'm seeing when I read your writeup is that I'm going to be real hard to get to know you, you need to change that. Get rid of the lonely, everybody is, that's why they are on here, but you don't need to reinforce that idea. I will love if loved back, again they need to do something, it's not good to tell people what they will need to do, much better to say I'm ready, where are you? You also say they will have to keep the conversation going, again they have to do it, actually I bet when you are with people that you are comfortable with you can talk all day. Leave out that stuff.

I would expand the music in the interests, tell us what kinds of music, jazz is a long way from heavy metal. Get backpacking in there too and anything else that you can think of that you like to do. The more stuff you have there the more chance somebody will find you. Also explain what kinds of movies you like.

time for round three.

We'll get there, just keep pluggin away, sort of like climbing a mountian.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 708
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/1/2005 9:55:16 AM
riverviewflower:

First the headline, "hello", this is the third thing that somebody sees when they look at your profile, the first being the picture, second is your POF name, then in your case, hello, granted it could be much worse, but an effective personals profile needs to have everything working to catch the interst of whomever is looking at you. Every word should say something about you or make them want to learn more about you. Hello at least says you are polite, much better than if you had "What are you doing here"? but even that might arouse curriosity, a good thing in this case. I suggest changing hello to something else, be creative, as creative as your name. That at least says something about you.

Your first picture is great, good smile, the second and third pictures I would change, the fourth doesn't really do anything for me either. I would get a full body shot and have some other of things you like or you doing things you like. Make the pictures work for you, they should tell a story about you.

Interests; is conversation all you are after? I doubt it, even though this is titled dating interest, everybody uses this to list all their interests, tell us everything you like here, be specific. This is where many people can find you, they do a search for things they like and if you have those things here in yourprofile, you profile pops up in front of them. So get lots of stuff here. Find words that hightlight, that tells you a couple things, the most important is that you spelled it correctly. The second is that it's a common thing people search for.

About me, we need a lot more there too. Here you have tell people alot about what you like, and are looking for. Things you have done, things you need, want, don't need, etc. Look at some other profiles, read some of the reviews here, to get some ideas.

I don't like it when people answer questions with, "prefer not to say," It's like you have something to hide. In my oppinion either you have kids are you don't, there is no middle gorund, hiding things is never good in a relationship. You might lose people there. Hope I've helped.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 709
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/1/2005 12:18:00 PM
Unearth_86:

There really isn't much to review here, you like music, that's about it. Not R&B. I can't write it for you. Look at some of the other profiles, you need to inform, thats' how you get good responses. No information, no good responses, simple as that. Every area should be looked at and made to inform.

If your going to have three pictures, they each should tell something different about you, yours all tell the same thing. Since you aren't smiling, it's doesn't show you in a favorable light.

You've got lot's of work to do, get to it.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 710
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/1/2005 12:24:43 PM
vicmjs3:

Your pictures are good.

Canoeing should be in you interests, as well as anything else that you can think of that you like.

Your write up should be longer, can't see any problem with it but I'm sure you can put a lot more in there about things you like, want, need, hate, etc. People need to learn enough about you that they connect with many things that do, if the stuff isn't there they aren't going to risk spending the effort to contact you. Unfortunately that's a fact of life of internet match finding.

First date stuff is good, check spelling, frist date???? Everbody needs to use spell check. unfortunately they have to learn cut and paste to do it.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 714
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/2/2005 8:07:05 AM
vancityqt:

Reading your headline I thought maybe it should be "come on down!", It's ok could be better but not bad.

Your pictures: Big smiles, good job, You probably need to explain the friend/sister? in the one picture. Anytime the picture doesn't explain itself, it's probably good to have an explanation, that way people don't jump to wrong conclussions.

Interests: I would put what kinds of music you like, such as R&B, funk, Rock, etc. and put those in the interests area. If you have anything else you like It should also be there, put as much as you can think of that fits there.

Love at first sight, spelling... I'm... I would add a lot more to the about me section, there has to be a lot more to you.

First datte need to be filled out, show us how creative you can get, it's just another window into how you think.

I personally would get rid of 75 miles, maybe put it in the write up but it's a hard limit where it's at, if they live 76 miles away they can't contact you.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 715
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/2/2005 10:02:40 AM
treekat71:

Ok your turn. First your headline, basically that's a non headline, every woman would say she is looking for that. We need something creative, something that grabs the attention and makes you want to look further, sort of like your pictures, any (or at least most I know) red blooded man would look further when they see those pictures. Some might not like what they see, but then they probably aren't the ones for you anyway. I would add a few more pictures of you dong things you like, the outdoors stuff, at least the ones you can post here without gettting in trouble, I would guess you could probably get in trouble with some pictures. (if you want I'd review those privately to let you know what I think)

Anyway enough about the pictures, Dating interests, I would expand the anything outdoors to specific things sush as camping, canoeing, or what ever the anything entails for your tastes. Let us know some real activities here instead of making us guess. People have to see things that they can connect with in order to get them off their duff and write you a letter. (They might like to connect with those pictures though, but if you tell them some real activities you might not have to wade through as much trash to find the gems out of all those responses you get just because of those pictures)

Tell us more about the country girl in the about me section, let us know what you need ,want, like, dislike, etc. So that a person can know if you are the right one instead of just wish and hope they are. You can add a whole lot more to that section. After you get the attention in the other sections you have to connect here. There just isn't enough here for them to really know you are the one. Tell us about some of that travel, the methods, and desires, and tell us more about that middle name.

One last thing, I hate "preffer not to say" answers, it seems to me like you are hiding something and I always assume the worse. I would change those, what ever you do be proud of it. As for the drug question I think that is a waste of space on the profile, I wish they would replace it with education level. Concernig drugs, most that do use them are going to answer no, so you can't trust that answer anyway. I think the POF form writers must have been on drugs.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 716
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/2/2005 12:36:06 PM
snugglebunny96:

Hey everybody lookie here, we have a daily winner

No reason to be scared, we are here to help, take everything we say with a grain of salt, nobody makes me the expert, just giving my oppinion.

First I like your name, that says a lot about you to be able to use a name like that.

Good headline, it's different enough to make you look onward.

I like your pictures, you've got the reqesite head shot and full body (with humor thrown in, well almost full) and then others to help explain who you are. Good job. Others take note, this is what were are talking about. I know the devil made you do it.

Dating interests: I think you could probably add a few more specifics here, put anything that you like to do here, people search for words of things they like, the more you have the more chances they will find you.

About me: An open book (sp) another one a spell checker might not find. (and some of you people thought I didn't read this stuff) I pull up my socks too. I also have bite marks on my left thumb from a squirrel, I didn't know you weren't supposed to pick those guys up.

I don't agree with the one year rule, that seems a long long time. But that's me, if it's what you beleive that's great to have it there. I also don't agree totally with the chat-a-holic, people need there friends, a healthy relationship has people on the outside of both sexes. You might consider these and talk with other people you respect about these ideas.

Overall a great job, basically I know enough about you to give social advice. That's very uncommon.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 718
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/3/2005 7:32:27 AM
db197:

Very good, maybe a little overboard on the interests but more is probably better than less.

The headline is much better,

In the about me: and to rule the world (wrong word)... and there is an Ive that needs to be an I've.

I think you've got a winner, lots of humor, and people should have a good idea who you are. It keeps you reading right to the end to see what else you can come up with.

You might explain a couple of the pics, the beard and the kid pic. Personally I wouldn't have the finger one but that's just me. Depends who you are after, many might find that offensive, one of the keys to a profile is not to offend anyone that might be a match, somebody might otherwise be perfect and that one thing nixes it. I think most people read the profiles with a negative twist they start every profile with positive hopes (after all they clicked on your profile, they must think this might finally be the one) and look for the deal breaker, they find something and move on to the next one.

For me it's picture or headline that initially catches my attention, then I scan smoking, age and wanting kids, after that I look at the interests if I find something there, I'll then read the profile. The preliminary scan takes about 4 seconds. Make it or break it in 4 seconds.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 719
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/3/2005 8:09:46 AM
db197: I wanted to say a few more things but ran out of time on the edit.

Thinking myself to be somewhat of a normal person (that would be Abby Normal ), I would imagine many people search this way, the 4 second scan. They just have different things that they scan for. So the pics, headline, answers to the first questions, and interests are extremely important. Then you need the writeup to really connect and reel them in.

I also think you should change the "preffer not to say" answer on smoking, with this negative search style that people might use they will read what ever they don't want into that answer. Either you smoke, don't smoke, or are trying to quit. Prefer not to say, is yes but not proud of it, or your trying to hide something. Your asking them to risk sending you an email and possibly open themselves up to rejection, there can't be any negatives.

Overall score
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 721
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/6/2005 1:48:15 PM
LiL Munkie: Your turn, first thing I saw is the pictures, not sure if you have a tongue peircing or not, might want to explain that. This pictures are ok, they tell a story about you but a few paragraphs may be unreadable. A few more of you doing things you like and less face pictures would be good. Once we see your face once or twice that should be enough unless the other face pictures tell us something different about you.

The next thing I saw is your interests, you can probably expand that area a little bit more, tell what kind of movies you like, one of your pictures seems to be taken from a boat windsheild, does that mean you like boating too, that should be in the interests if so. Everything you like should be there. The more you have the better chance the right one will find you.

Now your about me section, I see im many times should be I'm and I imagine verdan should be Verdan. There really is very little specificly about you here, most of what you've written could be writen by anybody on here. We need to know what makes you different, surely there is lots of stuff. Why munkie??? start with that, I'm sure there is a story. Tell us who you are, the good stuff, the stuff that makes you, you. Run your writeup through a spell checker, everybody can appear a little smarter on here and it wouldn't hurt anyone of us.
 jheldatksuedu
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 722
I'll review your profile and give ya some dating advice
Posted: 9/6/2005 1:59:24 PM
onlinenow:

Looks pretty good, I'm starting to wonder if they are teaching you younger people how to use the shift key, once again multiple i's that should be I. First word of a sentence should be capitalized. I would get rid on one of the leaning on the car pictures, one is plenty the other tells nothing new, get another picture that describes something else about you. You might tell a little more about where and how you like to travel. You can always tell more about yourself and make it better.
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