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Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 301
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I personally was never in a hurry and I didn't necessarily subscribe to the notion that one MUST get married, even eventually. I think marriage isn't what it used to be but of course how would I know since I never did it. Admittedly I was also afraid of it because literally everyone I know is divorced, and the majority of those were not pretty. I would ask myself why I would ever want to go through that? Now, I am not trying to say I'm not interested in a long-term relationship. I still hope to find Miss Right but she just hasn't materialized yet. I've frankly been through too many relationships, 2 of which almost resulted in marriage but again, not that one knows the future but it just didn't feel right. I hate to think I'm not relationship material but then next thing you know, I'm 52 and still looking. I will never know (not likely anyway) the experience of having children, nor do I think I want any at this point in my life but I often think I've missed out of a big part of life. Luckily there are lots of women out there in a similar boat, my age bracket, never married and no kids, the trick is finding the magic. We don't fit the norm, so perhaps it's more of a challenge for us.
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 302
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 7/24/2011 7:35:52 PM
Well, I'm over fifty and never been married. I lived with someone for four years after going out for three and considered it the equivalent of being married. We bought a house, did all the domestic stuff,took vacations and were generally a happy couple until she became bored with me. I had just turned 40 when I met her and I thought she was the one. Guess not.

So , I've been single for seven years and have my up and downs in dating. I've met some great women and some flakes.

Finally, after all these years I've come to the conclusion that I should have married my GF in college. But how the hell did I know? I was only 21 and thought I wanted more experience.
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 303
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 8/24/2011 5:39:01 AM
was going to start a thread asking if you would date a person in their 40's or older who had never married or had children.
I found this in my search, so bumped it instead.

Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 304
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 8/25/2011 4:47:05 AM
I expect honesty in such an important answer. Someone who has NEVER been married is very different from someone divorced, widowed, or seperated. Single means NEVER MARRIED to my way of thinking. I would be VERY angry if someone lied to me about their marital status, by claiming that they are "Single", when they no longer qualify for that status. Why do people feel that they have to LIE about marital status? If I am looking for a SINGLE person, I'm NOT looking for someone who "plays with the meaning". If you start out lying - you cannot be trusted!
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 305
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 8/26/2011 4:41:15 AM
When I meet the right person....I will get married. I am disturbed by people who think getting married and divorced is a dating criteria. I intend only to marry once.
Joined: 4/8/2011
Msg: 306
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 8/29/2011 3:46:43 PM
OP, I am single. I was married, separated, and then divorced. If the stats-o-philes at the government demanded it, I'd list divorced for a year and the rest of the time single. When I signed on to this site, I listed single because that is what I am.

As to why men remain single after they've been married and gotten divorced, the reasons may be many, although I suspect that "varied" might get put to a challenge.
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 307
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 8/29/2011 8:26:33 PM
I have been told in other threads that not settling is a good and admirable thing; now not settling becomes one of POFs infamous "red flags?"

Not surprising. ~Grin~

What is it men in women do require
The lineaments of Gratified Desire

What I Desire, I have not found; at least, I have not found in someone who was available to keep.

Sex is not so rare as some would bemoan it; beauty is an illusion, and more fleeting in age than anyone on this board who values it will admit. I have loved for passion, and found that passion burns like Magnesium, in white-hot brilliance and far too quickly. I have loved compassionately, I have loved companionably. And I have never once been not alone in the center of it.

I desire someone who understands me. Someone I can talk to. Someone I can relate to, and can relate to me.
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 308
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 8/31/2011 6:01:59 PM
I am 46 and single with no children. For me this means I have never been married, and that I have been responsible enough not to impregnate a woman I was not married to.

The reasons I have never been married are far too many to list here, even if I could remember all of them.

The reason for not having children is very simple. It's a very serious responsibility and the commitment is for life. You better be ready and capable of giving everything to your children, and if you can't for whatever reason, you shouldn't be having children.
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 309
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:14:35 PM
I must admit but when I read that a 45+ old man has never been married, it raises red flags. I know things are not black and white but in this instance, this becomes a serious concern to me.
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 310
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:50:08 PM
Why should it raise red flags if a guy is over 45 and not married? Is this just another tool for you to use to eliminate a man because you think something is wrong with him? Why not give someone a chance and judge them by their actions and treatment of you instead of just dismissing them? I would rather date single women that have not been married. I have dated divorced women that I know are damaged goods but I start them all with a clean slate but they soon reveal themselves. I should put a red flag on all the divorced women here as there must be some reason they are divorced. Oh thats right, the men are the reason they are all divorced.

I am 46, never married and no kids. At least I never just spread my seed with multiple women not caring that I knocked someone up. I have had a few good relationships but I really want a wife so I keep on looking as I want total commitment. I have found most of the women I dated to not know what they want and they were all afraid of committing to one person.

I have kept the names of every woman I ever dated and have looked them all up online and have even chatted with a few of them. I found over 50 of them that I had at least a couple dates with as well as another 60 or so that was one date and guess what? All of them except for TWO are still single. So is that a red flag that something is wrong with me or is it that the women I have dated are all messed up? Maybe if some of you took the time to find out you would find a quality guy across the table from you.
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 311
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:01:20 PM
Very simple Tuka,

As a male age 49, and never married, I've just never found the right girl,
and was not going to marry the wrong one! And that's in in a nutshell.

Now I get women of all ages asking if I have "Commitment Issues," Some of these women have been married three of more times,
even after taking a vow "Until Death Do Us Part," then they tell me that NONE of their husbands are dead, so I have to ask em, who is it that really has the Commitment Issues."

A couple of days sitting as a spectator in a Divorce Court,
might be enough to keep any man from marriage.......

Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 312
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/6/2011 11:23:03 AM
Divorced women looking for a husband say there must be something wrong with a man who has never married.

And men say marrying a divorced woman is like buying a car that you know gave the previous owner trouble.
Joined: 4/28/2010
Msg: 313
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/6/2011 2:49:47 PM
First of all we all have reasons for being where we are at this time in our lives. I can promise you that had I married the first girl I was in love with I'd be a very bitter divorced man at this time. I have been involved with a few ladies and the majority are long term relationships. I simply have not had good luck due to several circumstances and there is no doubt we BOTH were at fault for something. The one thing I never did was cheat or beat. For those of you that say a red flag goes up I feel sorry for you because when I meet someone who has been married and divorced 3 times a red flag goes up there too. There are many good reasons why we stayed single.
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 314
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/6/2011 3:39:10 PM

And men say marrying a divorced woman is like buying a car that you know gave the previous owner trouble.

And marrying a divorced man is like chewing another woman's gum twice.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 315
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/8/2011 8:10:18 AM
I am a single woman never married. I was engaged several times and I did indeed love those men and I am still friends with those men but I always had doubts whether I could get to the end of the road with them. Yes I knew they loved me and I did want to marry them and have a life but I always doubted it was what I wanted that thing called marriage. I was never driven by "marriage". I am a beautiful inside and out human being. I treat people with repect and I have an innate sense of doing the right thing. That is why I NEVER GOT MARRIED. I think you should be with people because you love and adore them and this whole idea of a piece of paper requiring you to stay is simply ridiculous. I always had my economic status in tact and I always have had self worth and respect so I never felt "marriage" was necessary. The truth be told I think more people than not choose to get married for the wrong reasons. Many get married for the financial gain and pretend to be someone they are not.
If you know who you are and you love yourself you will do what is best for you. You won't feed into I need to do this because this is the way it is. Not every person has the balls to be who they are and I think people should be most concerned with what is in their hearts and what they have to offer rather than what they will get. If you can't offer your whole heart and give someone what they are willing to give then DON"T DO IT. End of story.
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 316
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/8/2011 8:37:21 AM
Marriage is a funny thing. The words "Till death do us part" and "For better or Worse" have lost all significance. And the financial devastation in case of divorce that it can engender is truly a thing to beware.
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 317
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/8/2011 11:34:48 AM
yea why is divorced any better than single?? It just totally amazes me.
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 318
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/8/2011 11:37:46 AM
Why is divorced more acceptable. ITs like you could have beat your wife but you are divorced and thats betteR????????
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 319
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/8/2011 3:27:10 PM
I don’t think that it is better or worse in the absolute. But so far I prefer people who have had the same or similar experience that I have had in having a long term committed relationship and having and raising children. Those things very often profoundly affect a person’s priorities and perspective on themselves and life. It isn’t that there is a right or wrong, or better or worse. It’s just a commonality I seek and prefer.

As to abusers, liars or cheaters, it doesn’t matter if they have been married or single along the way. No one wants to deal with that- male, female, divorced, widowed or single.
Joined: 9/24/2006
Msg: 320
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/8/2011 7:28:48 PM
To quote Marilyn Munroe (sp) "Marriage is like an institution and I don't feel like being institutionalized."

On a serious note though, just because someone has never been married (like myself, engaged once, though) it doesn't mean anything other than what anyone else wants it make it mean. Maybe the person likes to remain out of the institution of marriage and just wants to co-habitate. Maybe they haven't found "the one" or they are too wrapped up in their careers to bother with being married. There are a million reasons. Humans really are not made for one-partner-for-life scenarios. We are serial monogamists at best, I feel.

Saying one is divorced does not necessarily mean damaged goods. There are a million reason why a marriage can fail and not all of them can be bad.

Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 321
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/9/2011 11:31:26 AM
"As I have looked over personal ads for dating/friends/ whatever, I have seen many that have "single" in their profile. I have always wondered why women and men that get to this age have never married at least once. (I waited until I was 31 to marry hoping to be mature and find the right man.)

I find many men that put single down but get a feeling it may be different.

Why do people remain single at all? Tuka"

Because those of us who just want to play games and get their kicks from hurting others, really mess things up for those of us who don't and are looking for something real.

Unfortunately, there's no effort to separate the keepers from the players... so the players just keep on playing until they're in their 80s, and the keepers get burned one too many times and end up machine-gunning people in shopping malls and stuff like that.

They never learn...
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 322
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/13/2011 6:59:37 PM
My question is why marry at all??? Seriously although someone puts single on a profile they are usually referring to their status right now. Doesnt mean they have not had long term relationships or been married or are still married.
Many people dont marry and if you dont have children, there is often no reason to.
Americans on the other hand are serious multi marriers..
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 323
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/13/2011 7:01:56 PM
Right on. It is narrow thinking to be suspicious of those who state they are single.
To be divorced and more than once, is preferable to never taking vows???
I dont think so...... there are many circumstances that lead to someone not legally marrying and we really should take everyone as a unique case.
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 324
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/14/2011 1:06:38 AM
I get upset with the guys who put 'single' yet are separated.

In the case of one guy - he's been separated for seven years and said to me - why would I want to get a divorce..." and then whined "she's the one who left me - she should file."


It's a strange and crazy world.

Joined: 9/16/2010
Msg: 325
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 9/14/2011 9:03:25 AM
I'm a single woman over 45, I've never married for various reasons...

My fiancé dumped me as he wanted to have "at least 4 children", when I wouldn't commit right there and then to popping out baby after baby he dumped me. Didn't even say he was dumping me, just didn't speak to me until I "got the hint"

Another guy broke up with me when his ex suddenly reappeared on the scene and he decided he wanted to get back with her.

Another guy broke up with me for no reason whatsoever, didn't say anything, just started dating, then got engaged to, another woman. Turned out some other guy told him "she doesn't like you, she's only dating you for a joke" and BF believed him. The other guy had the hots for me, but I didn't like him... (and I thought women were devious!)
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