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 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 376
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A lot of African-American men who are "never married", and over 50, are closet gay men.....

And there is nothing wrong with being "gay".....I am not homophobic, I just don't want to be involve with a "down-lower..."
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 377
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/24/2011 8:35:27 PM

A lot of African-American men who are "never married", and over 50, are closet gay men...


A lot of married men are closet gays as well, I guess you'll have to avoid all men just to be sure.
 lastgotn
Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 378
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:13:13 PM
hi,im 48 single.engaged twice,never married.work came before commitment.hence SINGLE at 48
 kandlekid
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 379
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/27/2011 8:45:26 PM

I dated 2 different men over 45 and never married, no kids, no pets. Big egos, big toys, Careful with their money.


Your sample size is too small. :)
 mdgs
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 380
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/28/2011 3:56:31 PM
Well in my experience this turned out to be an outright lie. I know someone who has been married 2 times but lists single. I don't understand the motive behind it; it all gets discovered anyway doesn't it?
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 381
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:39:27 PM
"single"
a boxer with x number of wins, x draws, zero losses


"divorced"
boxer with x number of wins, x draws, one or more losses.

big difference

 UNDERCARRIAGE
Joined: 2/11/2011
Msg: 382
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:09:27 AM
I hate the word divorced, and as far as men's profiles that read basically no children and never married does make me think a little.
 CountryGirl4luv
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 383
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/1/2011 4:29:28 PM
I totally agree with you gone7077. I am over 45 and never found the right guy. I have been in many relationships, including an affair with a married man for longer than I care to admit. I was looking for a father figure having been abandoned by mine when I was 5. So I guess I hung in there because he would plead with me that if I wasn't there after he left his marriage, he would kill himself. That never happened but I was young and foolish. After that there were a series of other relationships where no one ever really proposed. I guess you could say I know what I want and just have not found it and when I do, they are not willing to commit. So...I keep the faith and continue to hope that my Prince Charming will eventually materialize. I can't have the family and traditions I always wanted but I can cherish my one and only true love :) I'm such a hopeless romantic.
 BEACHBUM611
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 384
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/23/2011 9:36:24 PM
I'll give my answer. Marriage is not easy and you can see by the high divorce rates. Marriage is not like it was many years ago and it's frustrating when people that where or are married think just because I was never married that I don't know what's going on in the world. I tell them, you don't need to get hit by a car to know it's gonna hurt and is dangerous. You must realize women don't need men like they did back in the day, they're their own bosses, drive their own cars, make plenty of money and they are quick to tell a man to get his sh*t and get the f*** out in heart beat if he does something wrong. Marriage is marriage anymore, it's a business, all about benefitting the woman and the man loses out everytime. And you think men want to go through that madness? Some do because they didn't know any better and because love is blind. And lots of married or divorce men always say, Don't ever get married, you don't know how lucky you are"!!! I know, I never been married so I shouldn't know these facts.
 just8thnx
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 385
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/25/2011 6:09:51 AM
Had I been smarter I would never have gotten married.
Careful with money? what does that mean? Was he cheap or were they just unwilling to "piss" money about trying to make you happy or get you to like them? You dont get rich or retire early writing checks.
My bigger fear is the mid-forties woman who has never had kids, but wants 1 or 2. Yikes! You have spent your entire adult life in a selffish fugue and now want to prove to all those people you have spent years giving parenting advice too that you have been right all along?
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 386
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:59:02 PM
I was married for 27 years before my marriage ended but I prefer Single to Divorced. I think the biggest indicator of relationship viability at our age and on POF is whether someone has ever been in a relationship longer than 10 years. If not, then don't expect they will be with you very long.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 387
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/27/2011 7:45:46 AM
Anyone who is forty-five and has never accumulated any baggage is incapable of accumulating baggage. Meaning, they don't invest themselves in their relationships.

The odds say if your single at forty-five you will be single all your life.
 girsljustwannahavefun
Joined: 11/16/2010
Msg: 388
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:45:58 AM
simply not finding the right one
 girsljustwannahavefun
Joined: 11/16/2010
Msg: 389
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:50:15 AM
I like to met men like me never married, dont call me an old maid.I havent found one I want to spend more than a few hours with. I thought for the longest time is was my weight and feeling self concious, lost weight still have "dating issues"
 Miss_ing
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 390
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:15:18 PM
To me single means never married, divorced, separated or anything else. I have women and men friends who are in the their 40's and have never married. I guess there is a pool of us that have dating issues. We are true singles, when we marry it will be for-e-v-e-r with thought of divorce.
 Imclassique
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 391
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:31:26 PM
Take it from me a man who has never married and never had a child or children is not a good catch if you yourself have been married and had children.
The depth of understanding is questionable the degree of commitment is negligable, and the compassion is non existent.

You know what you want , you know what you need, we all need love affection understanding a friend a lover a companion soul mate.

A man who has never tied the knot usually has other priorities, usually associated with his financial matters.

wonderful to find a man who loves extremely, I had a wonderful friendship which stood the test of time.needed no watering or feeding it was simple and still is eternal.
 Imclassique
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 392
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:38:52 PM
fun is a word which can mean a walk in a beautiful park when you are in a relationship which is isolating and controlling, fun can mean watching Tv or having a new dress or hair style when you have not had such in eions.
Fun can be having a scrummy theatre ticket for your birthday rather than a chemist voucher, or nothing at all and feeling sad a isolated because you have not had any happiness, - fun can be doing someting you dont usually do, like a swimmin the ocean, -let alone having a laugh or being friviolous, goodness how we percieve fun, if a rerlationship is intollerable inconsiderate and just awful then something to break the monotony is 100% enlightening and up lifting.
 Castor1963
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 393
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 12/30/2011 6:32:56 PM
We dont want to be single thats why we are on POF lol I have been single for over a year and I really dont like waking up alone but its not my choice!! What I am finding is that people put in the profile that they want love but when it boils down they fall.
 TheBeastHere
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 394
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 1/3/2012 7:31:50 PM
“One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness. Such men make this cosmos and its construction the pivot point of their emotional life, in order to find the peace and security which they cannot find in the narrow whirlpool of personal experiences.” Albert Einstein


Some of us just immersed ourselves into something that brought true happiness and enjoyed the ride while it lasted.
 kingston46805
Joined: 10/12/2011
Msg: 395
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 1/5/2012 4:43:36 AM
I never married because I'm an introvert for whom parenting does not sound attractive. Now that I am older, and so are the women who are attracted to me, I feel I might have something to offer someone who is attracted to me and my lifestyle.

As a Catholic, the terms "single" and "divorced" have very different meanings. If I see a profile in which a person is describes herself as "single" with children, I assume she is divorced, and I approach the possibility of contacting her in an entirely different way than I do if the profile says she is "single" or "widowed."
 fire_and_ice_911_64
Joined: 3/5/2010
Msg: 396
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 1/8/2012 1:42:54 AM
I disagree... I am 47. I divorced almost 7 years ago and separated ten years ago. I decided to pursue my career options and attend college. I dated during this time but to say I didn't find anyone "good enough" is such a simply explanation for our complex society. I being a single mom needed to survive. After being married for 23 years giving my all, I had dreams. I did not want to feel selfish and not give enough to that special someone while I was building me. I of course needed to be able to surrender to love emotionally physically and mentally. However, attending college full-time and working plus caring for a child didn't allow for much time to have a full time committed relationship. It is simply not an easy explanation as to why people stay single, but never over assume.
 gralridr
Joined: 2/21/2011
Msg: 397
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:05:55 PM
You know that is sooooo untrue. I know I am not gay but you know a woman actually told me that. I havent been married because I wanted to find the right woman and she is out there but have not meet yet. African American woman who say that should really know what they are talking about and make sure it is fact.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 398
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 1/13/2012 2:53:32 AM
Someone needs to walk in my shoes a few weeks before they judge me regarding why I have not been married. However, many people who are divorced or widowed have the mindset that single people are damaged goods, so I avoid them as my idea of fun is not attempting to change their minds. I have met a few men online who said if I had a child I would more marketable, but they needed a sexual reference before they would ever met me. My brother married at 45, and he had more than a few never married women interested in him. He married a woman who was divorced with chilren, and they had a child together. He seemed to never feel complete as a single man without a wife and children.
 imatravelgirl
Joined: 12/16/2011
Msg: 399
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:27:11 AM
Well as a female who is single and 45 I have to say mine was somewhat of a choice. I came from a very conservative background and wasn't allowed to do a lot of things as a teenagerr. Then I met someone at 21 in college who was my first long-term boyfriend and we dated for 7 yrs were engaged to be married and he kept putting off setting at dat. After 2 years of that I broke it off becasue he said he wasnt ready and I moved 900 miles away from Nashville. I worked hard to make something of my career and when my parents got ill I moved back to Nashville. I find it very hard here to meet single men here and those I do meet seem to be, excuse me for being tacky, redneck beer guzzling uneducated men, or they are players and go out once or twice and then never see or hear from them again.

So I love my career, my house, my friends, and althought I'd liked to add a man to those parts of my life, I'm not willing to settled for something that is less that what I want or deserve. I don't need someone and I've been told by several men in the past 15 years that that is my problem. I'm independant and take care of myself and do not "need" a man to do anything other than be my friend and lover. How is that a bad thing? My best guy frined is always saying I'm the perfect woman, love sports, and hanging out, smart and take care of myself. So I say it's men who need to step up and be able to have a partnership That's it.
 AFISHINADO
Joined: 4/19/2010
Msg: 400
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 1/14/2012 5:39:54 AM
I'm 47 and never been married nor do I have any kids. In my case, I was concentrating on my career, which involved moving around throughout Western Canada during my Twenties. I never spent enough time anywhere to build a relationship that would have led to a walk down the aisle. I finally had enough seniority to live and work in Vancouver, however, it was work, work, work to pay the bills. Eventually, I said enough is enough and I moved back to Saskatchewan. Life outside the rat race is just beginning for me, I hope I can finally find love and settle down with a fantastic lady. That's how "I" ended up over 45 and never married.
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