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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 51
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" I haven't met someone that I want to see everyday."

I think that just about says it all, whether we are single because we have never married, or because we live alone after being widowed or divorced.

The only thing I could add to " I haven't met someone that I want to see everyday."
is that not only haven't I met someone that I want to see every day, I haven't met someone that I want to share my bed with every night.

This thread and a couple like it have taught me a lot. I must admit that I was guilty of accepting female friends who have never been married, and never even thinking about whether or not they had been married, I just accepted them. However, if I met a man who had never married, my brain was full of doubt about them even wanting to be anything other than a never married man.

Some times these threads are helpful to me, in that posters talk about things like why they have never married. I have never met a never married man where this subject has come up. (I guess I just figured it was none of my business, so I never asked any questions.)
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 52
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/22/2007 10:34:51 AM
I appreciate these statements and the honest answers that have posted.

I have thought..."do I discriminate against men who have never been married?" I have but it's been for a purely personal reason and I will start a thread about it. tuka
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 53
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/22/2007 12:13:14 PM
Moundpuppy, the good thing about little kids is they are not discrimnating creatures. I admit to all the world that I love kids between 2-5 years old....for the very reasons you stated in your post above...they are LEARNING, loving creatures and we should respect them. It's very appealing and a good trait for someone who is truly single to spend time with some kids. That's why I like volunteering jobs with kids. Tuka
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 54
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/22/2007 7:55:07 PM
Good point msg. 145. I don't like guessing, or being put in a position where I have to ask questions. Good on those who post in their profile what single means to them.
 Firmbear8
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 55
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/22/2007 11:10:03 PM
Haha !
I think it is funny women wondering what any single never married guy over 45 is looking for !
Well now like I said before I am 51 and yes never been married Yet!
And why your all wondering .
I am still single and not married because I am looking for someone who can give & share her love as easy as she can recieve mine. But all I seem to run into is a one way love relationship and when I am not recieving the love back then I just let her go and move on . Way too many seem to be complaining that us never married over 45 men have a commitment fear and yet thats not the case at all. It seems women love to recieve lots of Love but tend to not be willing to return this love .So alot of us never married men over 45 just let you go and move on .
Oh sure it is always a big let down to us when we think your the right lady for us .And hence thats why most of us over 45 men are still never been married and until we find that lady who will return our love then we're just as happy remaining single .
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 56
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/23/2007 5:39:47 AM
I think too that we are back to electronic conversation vs face to face. In a F2F encounter status is admitted and explained right away and most will fess up to those pesky kids and previous marriages. When given a choice on the rather anonymous website some may put something true to how they feel at the moment.

I have thought about single...I would, in a few years, state that I was single. I believe that there comes a time when you heal and move on in your life that you can truly "think" single.

I also believe that until we experience a marital state, we may not understand it as well as the people who live it....thus our unfounded suspicion over true "single" status. We are humans and no human is perfect. That is my simple approach. I'm just glad we have this conversation and I can see why certain groups of ideas are formed.


Annnd....as my unpolitically correct mother alway said, "Each to his own, said the man who kissed his cow".
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 57
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/23/2007 12:53:01 PM
"if a person goes thru the proper state of the LAW and receive the papers stating that they are no longer attached to the one they had been bound to by a wedding then they were in fact single again. Now I said I understand from the posts that it is felt that they have lied to some degree."

The legal definition, and of single is never married = EVER.

If you are widowed or divorced, all documents (especially tax dept. paperwork, passport etc.) must be filled out with your marital status being widowed or divorced.
If you file legal document and list yourself as another other than your legal marital status it is fraud.
 TimothyAL
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 58
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/24/2007 4:12:35 AM
I thought the title of this thread was "Single (never married at all) men over 45". At least that's what I was posting about; my personal experiences with some men over 45 and single for their entire lives. How did the discussion devolve into lying about marital status?

I know I am just a hillbilly boy at heart, but confirmed bachelors are probably not the type with which to look for a long term relationship. But then again neither is a liar! :-)
 terry44030
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 59
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/24/2007 8:03:48 AM
Timothy...........I don't think the label 'confirmed batchelor' really fits guys in a dating web site. Most of us (I am one), that are 45+ and never married clearly state that we just haven't met the woman that we want to spend our life with. If I were dead set against marriage, ( I hope to get married some time - preferably sooner than later) I wouldn't be taking up space in a dating site.
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 60
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/24/2007 8:45:18 AM
CG, why not contribute to the thread before throwing out one liners?


Quite often two or three thoughts are discussed in a thread....this one has two going....

1)
Experiences of single men who have never been married and
2)
the true defination of single and comments on that.

To try and control the conversation on a forum such as this is like arresting a pedophile for having binocoulars.


I'm just glad there are some people out here that are ignoring the jabs and telling us what they are really think .
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 61
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/24/2007 8:48:13 AM
Cndguy, use the blueberrry tree!
 MallardHunter
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 62
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:53:15 PM
Personnally I think single and divorced are one and the same.

I totally disagree with that!!!!!!

That would be like saying widowed/widower are the same as single.

Single means never been married..

Divorced means had a marrage and it ended. Who's fault is another story.
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 63
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 6:47:35 AM
Actually CND Guy....you are quite funny and interesting to me. Your comments have given me a different perspective on the use of "single". Someone mentioned the government definition and while I agree with them...I'm glad we don't always have to follow government procedure! It seems to me that at some time after divorce, you can be single again. Tuka
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 64
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 6:58:13 AM
Darling, some people are bored and when they return to a thread to see if anyone has told their story and it's boring....they are disappointed and tend to get flip.

To me, there is no real point in getting critical over something you cannot change or if it is no longer interesting but many feel slighted or gypped if they aren't taken seriously, some respond with humor....some with bordom, some with anger, most just change threads.

Life is too short to be snippy on the net...too bad so many are snippy. But then....it tells you quite a bit about their true nature.

It's my theory the internet forums are like talking to a person who has had a few drinks....their inhibitions are lowered, they will speak as they really are. Very scintillating behavior at times....I love to read body lanuage and cannot do it here so forum "talk" is a study in itself....I guess that's why I'm here too.
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 65
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/25/2007 7:00:02 AM
Hi DRG, I caught your meaning I think. Tuka
 jpsthe3rd
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 66
why do people remain single at all?WTF?
Posted: 4/26/2007 2:17:14 PM
I have remained single because of women just like you;those that will apparently just "settle "to be married.They will marry anything just to keep from being labeled single,an old maid,etc.If you are so happily married,why are you posting?Or,if waiting until you were 31 was so wise,WHY are you no longer married? There you go.
WTF kind of question is that to even ask? have you matured enough to settle into yet ANOTHER marriage? Go ahead and marry 3 or 4 times until you get it right.
Better yet WAIT until you are sure it is the right one/time AND only then take the leap.
That would at least keep your number of marriages to a minimum. I doubt that.
Perhaps not.You read as if you are unable to live alone AND happy.SAD SAD.
Hey I know-maybe you should never marry at all and have a bunch of street urchin kids that ALL have a different last name.That seems to be the newest trend among women like you.
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 67
why do people remain single at all?WTF?
Posted: 4/26/2007 2:33:17 PM
All I can say to the above poster is....read the whole thread, or at least, read all of my responses to the other posters.

Women like me?.....glad to meet you there sir, and just how much more do you want to show of your bag of misinterpretations?

I'm not married now because when I married; I chose to marry an alcoholic and he made the desicion over the years to not go to counseling, to continue to drink, and I am honoring his decision to part. Somehow...it doesn't matter though, does it? To you, I'm just a mean old maid that disrespects men and the marriage institution and doesn't care one iota about anyone but myself. You know my entire life story and you will judge me now.

It's really ok, I understand that you have strong feelings about all this. I'm sorry you have reason to be upset with this thread. Tuka
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 68
why do people remain single at all?WTF?
Posted: 4/27/2007 6:41:57 AM
Althought it's obvious at times to many females and males here why some PARTICULAR people are single over 45, I'm pretty sure that those of us that posted to this thread with good intent would give someone over 45, truly single as good a run as any.
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 69
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:56:02 PM
L to L 46, I think that's a very valid reason not to get married. Financially each state (single or married) has it's reasons...especially if health problems, the legal system or Uncle Sam is involved. I guess it comes down to Money sometimes...and while we shouldn't let that dictate us, it's unrealistic to not pay that attention. I think every single person here has had LTR and has posted confirms that.

It may be several years before I can regain a single type status because of health ins reason. I hope not....but it may come to that. tuka
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 70
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 5/1/2007 7:32:40 AM
visot...glad to have your response and you make good sense. This question is directed to anyone truly single over 40-45...........tuka
 doubleohseven
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 71
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 5/1/2007 11:14:03 PM
A divorced man or woman can call themselves single but they really are divorced, it is not the same legally although they are similar since they are both free to marry.
In Costa Rica Lawyers perform marriages and in all documents, it must state how many previous marriages the person has had.
If the person is divorced widowed, single or married and how many times.
So stating single when you are actually divorced three times is a , misrepresntation .

Gregory 007
 male.1957
Joined: 2/12/2007
Msg: 72
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:05:24 PM
You are not ready in the early 20's. Than time goes by fast. When you want to find someone you can not. As you get older most are attached. What is single is scared because of life experiences and hurts from before. They are not ready for anyone.
 TimothyAL
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 73
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 5/2/2007 7:43:40 PM
So, how ever one feels about themself is how they should post? I was married for 22 years and had a child, but that doesn't count. Because I say so. Living with someone long term and being in a common law marriage doesn't count if you don't want it to. Because you say so. I can bill myself as single. Thanks folks! I should get a lot more responses now.
 Tukabirdy
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 74
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 5/3/2007 3:38:23 AM
tim, I'm hoping people will be truthful and we are finally getting more responses from truly single people. The next consensus seemed to be, after 45, those out of a married/LTR relationship for a while that felt truly healed (2-5 years) considered themselves single....and of course, they are being told that they cannot claim the truly single label. That's the way the thread is going. tuka
 Fanny
Joined: 7/5/2004
Msg: 75
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:16:02 AM
I like the descriptive term I just recently heard, "unmarried single". The first time I heard it, my first reaction was "duh", but it does describe a person who is neither divorced nor separated, just never married.

In response to the question of why some people never marry, I've held out for a lifelong partner and never found one. I've been fortunate enough to dodge some bullets with men who would have only brought me lifelong misery. As I get older, more of the men I meet have gone through divorces and don't want to risk another one, so even if we were perfect for each other, marriage would be unlikely. With that in mind, I'll probably be an unmarried single until I die... and frankly, I can think of far worse things...
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