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Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 484
Single (never married at all) men over 45Page 30 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
No offense, but your scenario is not gender specific.

I personally would not want to marry an unemployed woman.

Date and commit to an unemployed woman? Sure, if she's honest, caring, sincere and ATTRACTIVE.

I think some people sabotage their dating by assuming the other person is expecting husband/wife material to show up on the first date.

You've already assumed you're not husband material and therefore not date worthy.

Baby steps...

IMHO...let her decide what is too much baggage. I've met some classy women that were kind and accepted my baggage:)

That being might be viewed as 'short term' material, but our age? Be grateful for some female compassion!

No need to divulge the gory details on the first date...

Joined: 10/12/2014
Msg: 485
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/3/2014 10:42:49 AM
My first reply didn't go through. I am busy so will be brief. How is a generation of women convinced by feminists to not get married to pursue a career not gender specific? Why do they have the mentality that you can't be married and have a career?
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 486
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/9/2014 4:33:38 AM
I wonder op, if that could possibly be the case. Went out on a boys night out for a pal who just got divorced. For fun, I asked to wear his wedding ring as a joke (as I've never been married....inside joke). Kid you not, I had more flirty conversations with women than I've had in long time, so much so I actually was thinking of buying it off him!
Joined: 5/19/2014
Msg: 487
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Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/22/2014 5:17:05 AM
I would imagine the reasons are many and as unique as the individuals.
It's not always necessarily a bad thing.
My story...
I went into the service at eighteen and my career choice wasn't suited well for relationships. I spent a lot of time overseas and did two tours of duty during conflict that left me with a few emotional problems for couple of years afterward. I was with a woman, who couldn't have children, for many years. She never wanted to marry, always claiming that "It's just a piece of paper". It turned out she had a pretty bad drug problem. I tried hard to overlook this but it caused a lot of tension between us. She had cheated on me several times while I was at work, which caused even more friction. She was also horrible with money, having several credit cards in my name unbeknownst to me at the time. Eventually she ran off with another man permanently. I should have left the relationship but I clung on hoping it would get better, the heart wants what the heart wants. I eventually had to file bankruptcy due to this woman.
In my last relationship we were not married due to finances. She has Parkinson's, was on disability, and had a medical card. We had planned on getting married but after she had become ill it became apparent that the medical bills would have wiped us out as she would have lost her benefits after marriage. She too was unable to have children. Her condition caused a few mental problems to develop over the years and she started a Facebook romance. Once again I tried to make it work and held in there... to no avail.
It would seem that I either do not know when to quit, enjoy being abused, or just try too hard to make things right. :/

And now I find myself here at 47, still holding on to hope that the "right one" is still out there just waiting to be discovered.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 488
Single (never married at all) men over 45
Posted: 11/22/2014 11:19:50 AM
IMO, and I am sure that many here will agree-you are only TECHNICALLY a never-married person. If you were to list yourself as "divorced", that might be technically untrue, but it sounds to me like you've earned your battle scars, so to speak.
As for someone who genuinely never has been in a significant committed relationship, I suppose one has to make note of that fact, just as one might make note of someone who has been married &divorced 4 or 5 times. Circumstances might require more examination.
Countryheart, there is much to be said for living unpartnered. But do not let go of that hope. It's what makes life interesting.
Cindy O
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