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 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 44
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
OP I feel the internet is a tool and can be either used well or badly... according to the operator using it.
 preshuz one
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 45
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/3/2007 8:02:05 PM
[I have come to find out that by the 'standards' of internet daters in *my* area, I'm not pretty enough or skinny enough. And as much as I was, at one time, driven to try and do something to change those two things, it hit me that once I 'fixed' those, it would be something else that left me not quite up to par. Like... getting old/being older. In the last year the 'reasons' men have handed me for their not being interested have shifted from my weight, my looks and my hair (yup, they've let me know they dislike my hair!), to... my age. In less than two weeks, I've had more men than I care to have, refer to me as "old" and one refer to me as "not a spring chicken anymore" ...

... so these days, I don't know WHAT to make of it. ]

I'll tell you what to make of it....'EFF 'EM if they don't like you.....you will find someone who likes you for YOU...not for what their perception of you should be. I found a great guy on here and we have so much in common. Im 37 and I was so ready to give up but didn't. Lo and behold, we are inseparable and laugh all the time. I really feel like I have found my best friend. He and I wouldnt change a thing about the other.

So, its THEIR problem, not yours! Just be yourself, open and honest, and the right one for you will come along, mine did!

 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 46
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/3/2007 10:55:32 PM
Wow! I guess I must be the chicken in winter. . . .

 Dreamerxoxoxo
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 51
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/5/2007 11:03:39 AM
msg 45:

- and I will add, is willing to show it and put forth the effort to make it
known...

msg 59:

People can be the best actors in the world on a date and you go home feeling it was a very nice date and hopefully another will follow, nothing is more hurtful then to find them back online again within hours or days of meeting you. I just wish people men /women could be totally honest with some degree of taste and tell the person,you aren;t my type or something alone those lines. Why give people false hope and make them think something that isn;t there. It really makes you think ,,Why date....


Yes, showing someone how much you care in a budding relationship would be the ideal. I dislike having to play the guessing game or having to "read between the lines", so to speak. My philosophy is .... If you feel it - show it... If you don't - voice it. It's simple as that. Feeling it but not showing it is game playing. Not feeling it and not saying so is cruel if you are aware the other person is feeling more than you want them to. It takes good character to consider the other person's feelings above your own in having to tell them something that might make you feel uncomfortable but, at least you're being honest - there's comfort in honesty. Chemistry is something you can't control. It's there or it isn't.

The only way to avoid unrealistic expectations is to have that conversation before meeting. Have the understanding that you will tell each other if there is or isn't an interest in continuing to getting to know each other before the meeting ends. It leaves no room for having to guess or misunderstanding each other's feelings.
 ttawny
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 62
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/6/2007 7:57:01 AM
Can somebody tell me what's so interesting about this?
 Dreamerxoxoxo
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 64
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/7/2007 8:43:03 PM

We must first be happy and content with who we are before we can fully enjoy what another person brings into our life. Focus on the good things in the relationship and stop dwelling on the minro imperfections of others and relationships would be much better.


I agree, with this statement. When I became a widow, it was the first time I'd ever lived alone. During my 4 yr self imposed isolation, I had no choice but finally get to know the real me. I'd only known the wife-me, the mommy-me and the daughter-me. My daughters were grown and on their own so I had more time than I cared to have to get to know the original me.

I found that happiness comes from within. No one can "make" me happy. Happiness is a
choice. I learned that liking myself is a choice, also. It took a lot of soul searching, but once I made the decision to choose what is important in my life and what is not, everything started falling into place. I was able to be genuinely content with who I am and what I was able to accomplish on my own.

Happiness, being able to laugh at yourself as well as with others makes one more attractive to others. I don't mean physical attractiveness - I mean attractive as in people like to be around you because your joy is contagious. I can always tell when someone has a happy spirit. They're like people magnets.

The method of meeting people online can be very disappointing at times, but for the most part the people I've met were all genuine. There was an analogy on another thread that pretty much hit the nail on the head, so to speak. Meeting people online is actually like fishing.... some fish you decide are keepers. But, some after meeting them you know within the first half hour there's no potential at all for one reason or another so you throw them back in the pond.

I use the analogy of shopping - there are some shopping trips that are very successful, you find what you went shopping for and other times you go shopping and come home empty handed because you don't want to settle for something just for the sake of buying it.

My mini rant:
I just don't understand why anyone would upload photos that are 5 or more yrs old - that might be ok if you have no intention of meeting anyone face-to-face, but to show up and not look anything like the photo that's posted is embarrassing for both parties. It's no different than a retail bait and switch. Are they that confident their personality would make you over look the fact that they are 5-10 yrs older than their photo? I just want to turn around and walk out, but can't bring myself do it. Thank goodness that only happened once. I hope it never happens again!
 Cutepid
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 68
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History
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/7/2007 11:59:27 PM
I think it's wonderful he was honest and upfront..trying to explain what's attractive to someone, to really describe chemistry, magic, that something special, even for me as a writer I get lost. I would rather someone tell me right off the bat that there's no chemistry instead of waiting till later on when my heart is invested and blow up my chemical lab with a bomb. Consideration is definitely something people on internet lack. I know both men and women who do not respond to e-mails due to the fact they are "overwhelmed" with e-mails..Since when did common manners dictate that you ignore courtesy?..if you read an email..then you were interested..even for a fraction of a second..someone spoke to you on the internet street..Accountability...the internet is the fast food of relationships.
 GuitarGuy_
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 70
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:31:52 PM
This post is so wordy.


 supragurl
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 71
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:44:16 PM
I don't think it fosters the 'grass is greener' mentality. I get many messages a day (not to say im attractive, because that's purely subjective in and of itself.....) but most are by men who may seem attractive upon first look at their pictures but......i either have nothing in common with them, or theyre just not at my level on a few things after a few messages.

I don't feel that there are a lot of people out there that i'll connect with or will be able to connect with because of that. So no, there is no grass is greener mentality...whenever I find a guy i'm interested in (usually this is in real life not the net) I tend to stick with them knowing there ARE many people out there but chances are theyre NOT better.....at least when the relationship is going well :P

I think this would go for anyone....attractive or not....man or woman.

we all are looking for different things, and only a few people satisfy that.....a large number of men i'm not interested in contactin me is annoying rather than complimentary or reassuring.

Then again, i'm on here to make friends...
 robfish
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 72
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 7/12/2007 8:42:54 AM
^^ I agree! I have been a member for a couple of months now and I can't believe how rude people can be online. I have come across very few decent people and it took so much effort and weeding to get to that point. The sad reality to dating sites is that they are meat markets, a couple of decent ones in a pond full of shallow fish!
 koolmate42
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 74
Interesting Observation On Online Dating.
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:47:49 AM
she is right dont worry about the ones that dont like you look for the ones that do. find that person that likes the same things you do by doing them. i have never had any luck on here but i still meet people as far as age gose, I dont see where that matters. i look for people my own age to go out with, not someone alot younger than I am the few i have dated outside of here have been older than me not younger. I dont know how old your daughter is but if your like me all my kids are gone and im looking to have fun now not raise a family this is the time of your life you should be enjoying your self and looking for that one that wants the same. Worry about you and the rest will fall into place when you least expect it. Dont worry about what the rest say there not the ones that have to put up with you for the next 75 years.
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