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 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 61
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UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGSPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
UNHALLMARK FOR MY ONE TRUE LOVE


There you are, in my imagination again
Running naked with eleven other studly men.
I'll wait in line, Dear, as number twelve, a sloppy prize
As I stick my limp celery into your overextended pie.

You'll only see me once every fortnight, it seems,
Though when you had a pre-overbaked cookie-dough face, my dreams
Were more melodious and of greater staying power;
Now the horse has left the barn, my wilted flower.

Come to me in a mirage where I can flog your backside
While we watch Mr Rogers' Neighbourhood, and deride
That phony-smiling sweater fetishist on quaaludes;
We'll prove to the world through our perversions that though we're rude,

We vote for the Welcome Wagon and the Four H Club
(Preparation H, that is, for the mass-men, on their stubs).
Then when the good deeds are done and the tulips bloom in red,
We'll play three-pack canasta, eat dandelions in our cum-soaked bed.
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 62
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/1/2007 2:01:47 PM
I love to play canasta.

Happy Halloween

I'm about to fade into the shadows
You won't be able to see me with satellite
You never did treat me like a human
Ever since you became a ghost
You have done nothing but haunt me
With visions of eating your pvssy
This is your 8th life
Go ahead and pull the trigger...
 ~Juggernaut~
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 73
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:56:19 PM
I really just wanted to say how beautiful you were tonight but then after I fucked the hell out of you I changed my mind !

That would be good on a card . But it would have to have a picture of a puppy on it just to make it funny..........
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 74
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/4/2007 7:53:58 PM
Wasn't Hallmark, but it was a real card.

On the front it said: You're a real animal in bed!

On the inside was a koala bear sitting on a brass bed. . . .

Takin' the fifth on whether I got it or sent it. . . .


 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 78
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/6/2007 10:00:54 AM
Spooky, ravin, spooky. . . .


 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 79
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/6/2007 1:08:13 PM
To a beloved co-worker...
Happy Vacation

Enjoy your two weeks, God know's I will
A break from your ignorance and pungent smell
I hope that your trip is just like the one in "deliverance"
'Cept they fvck you real good when stripped down to your underpants

another unhallmark mooment
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 82
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/6/2007 7:08:39 PM
Brolga -- Love it!!

Yoko ~~ only for the evening. At midnight, I turn back into a Wooby, lol! Bet you're not old enough to remember Princess WinterSpring SummerFall from Howdy Doody. . . .

 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 87
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UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/7/2007 9:30:30 PM
TO MY PRECIOUS VALENTINE


I've cried rivers of pomegranite pulp,
My Love, since you eloped with Robert Culp.
Fix my hangnails, and festoon my grief with balm.
You're the storm in my life after the calm.

I love you like I love myself and verse;
Both are limp and ignored, and what's worse,
The roofers came by this morn and asked for you--
Said they needed to drop their loads, don't misconstrue:

I thought it best to inform you of their intent.
My anticipated cuckolding means I'm bent
But I make a good doorstop by your potted fern.
All the gals leave me, when will I ever learn?



 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 88
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/8/2007 3:31:30 PM
thank you for attending

you walked in, to the party
like you, had a golden box
your makeup , was atrocious
with your E's stuffed in a D cup
your ass had more lumps, than pantielines
and you just had to run
straight for the buffet line
straight for the buffet line
you're so fat
I bet you think this poem's about you
don't you? don't you? don't you?
you're so fat

you scarfed down, all of the freshly sliced lox
while staring at every man's crotch
extra onion was on, your lipstick smudged
glued on like it wouldn't budge
you really are, a drunken whore
and I think, you're nasty
please don't come, to anymore parties, anymore parties
you're so nasty
I hope you know this poem's about you
do you? do you?
you're so nasty

moo on that one hahahaha
 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 89
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UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/8/2007 3:33:48 PM
No poem right now, but just had to after that one, b. ^ ^
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 90
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/8/2007 5:07:47 PM
FRONT: Big broken bloody bleeding red heart
"Sympathy"

He is not dead
He's only gone away.

[open]

I had him for a while
You had him for less
You got him from me
Now she's got the mess

You're sorry you took him
And he's sorry, too
She thinks that she's shook him
Let's wait till *she's* blue.

At last you apologize
for "breaking up" my marriage
I say I forgave you
for honor's miscarriage.

My kindness makes you weep
If only I'd known it'd make you cry
I'd have said so earlier: to make
the mistress howl is a great thing. Sigh.


 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 93
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/8/2007 8:19:15 PM
Om, lol! Too true: good weather OR bad weather. . . .
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 109
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/22/2007 1:45:37 PM
Happy Box Day

open...

I love Canadians

....signed with a paw
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 112
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/25/2007 7:03:38 PM
Lol! I'm with Brawny on that one.

 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 117
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 5/27/2007 4:37:42 PM
Happy Penis Day

Dickhead
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 140
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 6/17/2007 1:57:11 PM
It's carnival time again...

I tried to drown you on salt water taffy
and it turned out that it wasn't a real gun when you shot at me
footlong hotdog didn't come close to satisfying you
That's the real reason that we sold mommy to the zoo...
 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 147
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UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 6/21/2007 9:41:02 PM
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL MOVING DAY


You left me with soiled dishes and ripped box tops,
Took everything else, then called the cops.
You moved straight in with your nebulous lover
Who'll find in a day your vocation is to smother.

I'm free, I'm clear, I'm on Cloud nine nine nine;
Your problems flood; I sip our anniversary wine.
Scratch out his eyes and end up in the clink.
Moving men were aghast at your gold-plated sink.
 i2startingover
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 148
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UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 6/22/2007 7:20:28 AM
Hi, yoko ohyes!
I have been reading your stuff today and It‘s great m8, love the ‘I always thought hall missed the mark’ line.

I wrote this when one of my daughters said my stuff is to dark and cynical and challenged me to do a sappy hallmark valentines day type card, she liked it till she reached the twist at the end!! …I just couldn‘t resist it. lol

Valentine

a valentines poem, so where shall I start?
a mixture of words that tug at the heart
roses are red and violets are blue
use this old line and you haven't clue

more lovers out there than grains on the beach
all milling around you and eager to teach
the unyielding pull of tide to the shore
can leave your heart broken but begging for more

a feeling of love that few understand
most precious of gifts can slip through your hands
you look in his eyes then look at this smile
he gives you a wink you talk for a while

love is elusive like chasing a dream
the nearer you get the further it seems
you open your heart and give him your trust
is he in love? or is he in lust?

love is a word that's easily used
and when it's all over can leave you confused
don't look for love cos’ love isn't lost
the question is really how much will it cost!

Copyright ©2007
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 156
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:39:34 PM
Congratulations on the new job
I wanted to send flowers
and maybe drop by for you to polish my knob
which one is your corner?
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 157
UNHALLMARK POETIC happy birthday GREETINGS
Posted: 11/8/2007 1:56:02 PM
Happy Birthday

(card opens)
well, the party started without you
and I'm telling you the truth
you just missed by five minutes, Omar the transvestite guru

I don't know what's gonna happen next
I'm sorry that you got tied up in traffic
do you recall if I fixed the hottub jets?
if you're too busy to talk..just send me a text

But, you better hurry if you want a whack at this pinata
and if you're really close to the store could you pick up some mix like pina colada?
might also grab one of those big bottles with a handle of vodka
somebody just broke the last one in half and is sucking the residue out with a straw
happy birthday, maw

arf darlin..
 transcend
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 159
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UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 11/8/2007 8:12:45 PM
for all of your comments
feel the acid corrode
id pay 20 bucks
to watch your head explode

The damage you did
has taken its toll
No ,you're not an anus
just a flaming

id never do harm
to anyone dear
tho' Id jump the curb
to drive up your rear

for all of your evil
and all of the pain
Id back off your body
and do it again


Happy Birthday
 brawnydog
Joined: 5/12/2006
Msg: 161
UNHALLMARK POETIC GREETINGS
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:40:52 AM
well, we might as well get a head start on our valentine cards folks..

(the cover is a banana split covered with hershey kisses served in a red dish
shaped like the rolling stones lips logo)

love sure is blind
and it grew a huge behind
I hope you switch to yogurt and carob soon
your thighs are so fat that my penis can barely reach you

I thought I heard you say something about flour when you were sitting on my face
I was thinking about rolling you in it until I realised you meant flowers...my mistake
I see that you ate all the ones off of that frozen piece of wedding cake
I'll go stand in line at flowers for losers...they're always open late
since you moved in the trailer park just ain't been the same

moo
 Brizo
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 170
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UNHALLMARK POETIC VALENTINE GREETINGS
Posted: 2/12/2008 4:49:39 PM
a woman, barefoot and pregnant on the front...

I so loved being called a cvnt
lying beneath you as you grunt
taking the truck and leaving for days
finding all your coke chopping trays
you spent the money for the kids education
fvcked at least once a day and STILL masturbatin'
I'm alone now but I'll never be lonely
thinking of you and your undersized boney
 rory27
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 171
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UNHALLMARK POETIC VALENTINE GREETINGS
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:14:45 PM
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO MY WIFE OF SIXTY YEARS


Memories of unity overflow my myopia
In this bandaged and cloistered dystopia.
I met you after the Korean War in a five-and-dime;
You were wearing a paint-splattered dress of lime

And told me with crooked smile you'd just done time
For your sixth-completed passion of crime.
I'm still filled with ridiculous hope for ya;
Be my Valentine's coprolitic cornucopia.
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