|The FiresidePage 86 of 106 (66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106)|
|almost independence day|
it is the 2nd of July, 1994,
and I am full with pregnancy
driving from my home in Devon
to see my male friend in Cornwall, England
forty five minutes later I arrive
just sit down and to my surprise
suddenly my waters break
and there I am in a tiny lake
my girlfriend I call saying we better hurry
for the hospital is now well over an hour away
but I am determined to make it there
before the arrival of this new baby
the drive first home to feed the cats
is very long with panting fast
my girlfriend following close behind
at moments thinking I must be losing my mind
finally with all errands done
to the hospital we run
but the night's fun
has only just begun
the midwife there is very young
and it is now late
while I'm in a bit of a state
grateful and fearful of this fateful 'date'
eventually we get settled
in a beautiful new room
carpeted with my music soothing
almost feeling like a bedroom
and there we were
just my friend, the young midwife, and me
determined after two caesarians many years previously
now with baby three, I really wanted to birth this baby naturally
the labour resumed
strong contractions filling the room
me starting to feel overwhelmed
panicking again...remembering.....remembering when...
but then the midwives changed shifts
the new one seemed to know how to really help me
keeping me focused with her eyes
offering me a way to give her the pain and fear happening inside
all through the night
some moments relaxed
others filled with fright
the morning light began to show
as the contractions almost relaxed and went real slow
or so it seemed to me
for I knew I was really going to give birth to this baby
and so on the 3rd of July
exactly fifteen years ago
at 10am it feels like truly
I was given a miracle
no, it wasn't in this country where it's almost independence day
but it was for me independence plenty
as I so gratefully held my youngest son....a miracle baby....
birthed in sacred peacefulness with just a midwife, a dear friend, and me
Posted: 7/3/2009 5:50:24 PM
|What a wonderful account, We!|
Happy Birthday to your child....and Happy 'Birth'day to you!
Posted: 7/3/2009 5:55:55 PM
|women are a nest for life.|
you are a nest for life, we.
males never really understand.
we love you, we dance with you,
we study birth, we can catch the baby
but you are the nest for life.
women are the nest for life.
we men dance with you
and fall on our knees
and kiss your feet.
Posted: 7/3/2009 6:19:16 PM
|awww....thank you best....|
it really felt blessed!
and thank you, lipo....
it takes men also
to plant the seeds
of life and love and wisdom and
to nourish and nurture the children
through their guidance and protection
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:12:18 PM
|Death is not the worst thing to fear, my dear....|
so often he comes quickly, quietly
yet my granny (at 95 )
waits patiently for his knock
knowing she forgets
and gets angry
over imaginary problems
her live reduced to imaginary
while i am there
i sit with patience and love
being in her moment forever
Posted: 7/4/2009 3:21:24 PM
|D....beautiful and touching write, thank you for such a warm offering.|
Lipo....welcome back. So nice to see you again, and thanks for the write.
Rose...always nice to see you visit again, and sharing about Granny!
Thanks to one and all for warming the fireside.
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:28:50 PM
|If I could play the music of the mists,|
haunting hunger for a secluded lyric,
exotic features crest and wave,
rising, falling, time to save
If I could play the music of the rain,
a lust for a surreal silence,
tapping an instrumental tune,
and gone too soon
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:33:24 AM
| Signs |
will resist the charms
of the wind,
her wings crossed in
dropping her leaves
only when she is ready,
and when nature calls
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:20:52 AM
The house is too quite
I miss her already
knowing I won't get a hug
or hear her voice
while rubbing eyes
saying good morning nana
can I sit on your good leg?
crawling up on my right side
curling into a ball
not a full 60 seconds goes by
till she says,
I wanna hear Lover Boy, by Billy Ocean ....
That's my girl
so starts the day
Billy brings it in
must hear him at least seven times
to get the day started right
move on to Poker Face, Lady Gaga
Womanizer, Britney Spears
Boys, Boys Boys ... song by Lady Gaga
but video by a group of young adults (LOVE IT!!)
by this time she can not hold her body still and up she jumps
ready to start exercising
I love my grandbaby
she is my motivation for living ....
I miss her so when she's gone.
Hiya Manny ... Zoey is on my mind as you can tell ... I was blessed with her three nights this week ... she is a stinker. Mile stone this weekend ... she can reach the light switch to turn it off or on ... without the use of the clothes hanger I gave her for extra stretch abilities. She's growing up.
Have to share
Conversation after realizing she could turn off the bedroom light switch
"Zoey, you need to stop growing or nana won't have her little girl anymore."
(So serious) she cups my face in her chubby little hands and says, "Nana, I have to get big ... it's my job."
Posted: 7/5/2009 4:11:16 PM
|Ah sunshine..that was great! I already put in my request for grand babies but my children aren't cooperating! |
Manly...love "Signs" so much...
Been too busy to sit and tap out fun and/or lovely words, but I sure do like to poke about here to read-up when I have a minute.
Thank you all for placing your imaginations by Mandrakes fire for all to cuddle up to!
Posted: 7/5/2009 4:21:37 PM
|Sunshine...just a beautiful write above. Your Zoey sure brings out the smiles, even in words! Thanks for sharing your moment with us!|
BKS....you know it is always a treat having you poke your little head in!
Posted: 7/5/2009 5:41:54 PM
|BKS ... don't give up. Serena used to tell me, "Mom, if you want another kid have one!" Took her 27 years to give me Zoey. My son may wait even longer if ever ... he's 25. |
It's so funny how Zoe talks to us, like we are the children and she's having to explain things ... You really don't want to laugh but I can't help myself. She's so funny. So much her mother.
You welcome Manny. She sure lights up my life. I love sharing her.
|My ode to broken men (bad ones)|
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:23:05 PM
the scum of the earth
The stuff that gets stuck
In the crevices of the granulated
pattern revolving around
organs of flesh...
That stupid naivety has vanished
And I remember why
I'm so scared to bother
with being intrigued
Strange figments of my imagination
That have no purpose
Except to provide
a menial wage
for a crappy service
so bogged down
that it suffocates
As I ache
for one more moment
within the madness I call home
and people steal from you
because the actions you make
steal from others
we are all connected
the bridge you burn today
will haunt your fall tomorrow
you will swill around
one more glass
of superficial wine
it's body nothing more
than acidic tanner
added to preserve the look
spun to ensure
will never fade
so remember that
you piece of shit
mark it down
take it to your grave
*****************FEELS GOOD TO VENT*****************
|My ode to broken men (bad ones)|
Posted: 7/5/2009 6:27:28 PM
|Whew Sarah!.....I wouldn't want you mad at me!!|
But you go right ahead and vent...sending a hug your way!
|My ode to broken men (bad ones)|
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:47:55 AM
|Thanks Seaz ... I'm happy she brings my friends joy. |
We hung a swing out under the carport out of the sun
one of the baby swings you can lock them in for safety
Lug bolts that carry 200#
chains, ready for the load
she wants to swing ....
she says she wants to "fly like the birds"
sooo ... fly like the birds she does
"Higher!" "Higher!" She says.
"Are you ready to fly?" Say I.
"Yes," she says and lets go of the ropes
which link to the hooks which link to the chains
which link to the hooks which link to the lug bolts
screwed into the 2x6 framing of the car port ...
both chubby arms flying by her side
time after time ... back and forth back and forth
she's flying ... with the birds ... with the clouds
she's 100% free .... and happy as can be ....
A sigh always escapes me .... when she swings.
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:26:01 AM
flying with zoey
so much happiness
reading your words
a glimpse of granny'ness
and view of your bliss
so heart warming
again this morning
my own flying
upon a swing
imagining on the big one
reaching to touch heaven
feeling the wind whip my hair
powerful energy in the air
and when i was not so young
my brothers daring me to jump
to jump even when it was so high
to jump and really fly through the sky
so i'd gather my courage
for of course i felt fear
but i trusted my brothers
even from way up there
and i'd let myself go
and jump when they said so
sometimes i'd roll
but mostly i'd land
standing in the sand
feeling the exhiliration
feeling the elation
of my body moving through air
flying free as a bird
just like zoey i heard
shared so lovingly
and beautifully sunshiney!
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:48:49 PM
Like the warm lint from a dryer
Like clouds that just go higher and higher
Like the innocence of a 2 year old's kiss
Like the persona of lover's bliss
Like the shutting of the door
That make women feel like whores
Like flesh rotting from the bone
Like knowing you'll never return home
But we all likes the fluffies
So I will spit a few on out
We all love the fluffies
So here's a few more to think about
Orange Pez candy
Rape de la statutory
got back on
the scary stuff again
I wish you the best my friend.
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:44:16 PM
|Seaz, Sunshine, Weare, and Sarah...thankyou all for sharing your words.|
Seems like a quiet night in the forums.
Like a cat on a hot tin roof
hanging back, perhaps aloof!
staring through the window pane,
beaded eyes begin to strain,
singing to the virgin bride,
you can run, but you can't hide!
I'll start to purrrrrr
and lik your furrrrr,
while the night is young.
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:19:23 PM
|I think about these people|
And their plastic surgery
How they just can't be satisfied
To be able to walk and breathe
Then I see one of the souls
That didn't quite come out right
And their eyes are joyous
The fears calm
No need to scratch and fight
Like my nose is too big
Or my boobs too small
Maybe my stretch marks aren't pretty
But I really don't care
cuz after all
There is true suffering in the world
Mangled and beaten boys and girls
Who can't walk, don't cry
Have never lived, and will probably die
Alone, being cared for
By someone other than their family
God Bless those souls that keep them
Someday true riches they will reap
And I see the ads
For a peel or a stick
And I think what a dumbass thing to do
Really takes a selfish ****
Not to sit down
and thank Him everyday
Instead of trying to "correct"
The plans He already laid...
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:36:10 PM
|Sarah, love your words. Very nice flow.|
Seaz, wonderful write, lovely use of words...and simple truths!
Riding the wooden horse,
with his holy grained nostrils,
flared unto the cross,
his stained glass eyes
raising the undead,
from the sea
chomping at the bit
of his unbridled tongue,
biting off a sermon
to old and young,
bucking against the saddle,
his mane flying
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:37:28 PM
|I used to wake up early... back when I could sleep. But I tell you my dreams are so vivid, it's hard for me to keep|
a steady mind
half the time
but I manage
the treacherous climb
And spin out
Only when needed
The rest of the time
My garden is seeded
With outrageous ideas
Of life without a leash
That only a handful
To truly experience
But you are one of them
And to that
I say damn
It's hard to think
Of a special enough word
That rhymes with experience
Has one ever been heard??
For in fact
No other noun nor adjective
the experience of common lives
guilt and remorse
Or perhaps triumphs
Things I know a little of
So as you can see
Doesn't matter how high I be
I can keep spitting them out
Oh, no, there is no doubt
That if you listen to me rattle
You must be a bit off the saddle
And so I bid goodnight
Hope you've had a lovely time
reading the madness within my mind
See you again when the beer's flowing right...
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:43:51 AM
|Manly, what a great write!|
Sarah...you continually amaze me.
I sat here and read all the wonderful writes from the last couple days...I want you all to know, they do get hugged and appreciated!
Best deal in town, right here!
~ Very nice ~
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:33:07 PM
|In the quiet of the night|
When there is no light
Coming through windows and doors
I find myself walking the floor
Fighting the demons in my head
I long for the comfort of my bed
Inside my head the struggle is deep
Why can’t I get to sleep
Then the angel appears
Speaking so softly so clear
Telling me all will be well
Not to listen to the voices from hell
They do not foretell what the future will bring
And to let go of everything
Go back to sleep
And when the morning arises a friend will appear
His heart pure and his need dear
He will touch your soul
And then you can let go
Begin to feel, to want, to need again
Thanks for my friend
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:15:33 PM
|Just wanted to "Hi" Manny and tell you that I wish I had all day to read all that you have posted!!! Wonderful to say the least!|
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:45:09 PM
|Sarah....beautiful write, as always. Love the way you play with words.|
BKS....thank you darlin...always a treat when you show up. You know I look forward to seing you here.
Dteredhead...welcome to the fireside, and many thanks for contributing your artistic flair here with us all. Hope you enjoy, and please, come again!
Awwww Cher!...many thanks for such kind words. Appreciate you dropping by, and glad you are enjoying the sharing here.
106 (66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106)