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 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 32
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asking to borrow money on first datePage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
^^^^ wow, that is just totally amazing... i HAVE had a number of guys tell me right away, on the first or second date, things like "i've been waiting for you all my life" and "i want to spend the rest of my life with you" and "i want you to have my child" (all of which freaked me out completely, the 'ive; been waiting for you all my life' one was said after spending one hour in his company!) ... but no one has asked me if he can move in with me after spending two hours in my company! wow, that is just totally freaky!

what are these guys thinking????
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 33
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asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/2/2007 10:45:59 PM
.....Big Red Flag....
 *cee~cee*
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 34
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/2/2007 11:08:19 PM
OP... you didn't do anything wrong... in fact? I think you were quite clever in asking her to sign something ensuring she'd pay you back. Even though it was $30, it's the principle of the thing. I can't believe the nerve of some people!

I wouldn't ever go out on a date unless I had more than enough money to cover my portion and my ability to get home. I can take care of myself and wouldn't even agree to meet unless I had the means to get there and back safely and pay for MY portion. IF when the bill came the guy had no money, I would throw down my portion and walk out. I don't think anyone should be agreeing to a date or meeting at a place where money is needed if they can't afford to pay their own way. I would never expect or feel comfortable with that. It's just rude and ludicrous to ask for money on a date!

On the matter of loaning or borrowing money in any situation, I've learned from past experience that it gets in the way of relationships. I ended up getting pretty screwed over as a result of my wanting to help a friend out and won't ever do it again. I never ask to borrow money and the only time I've taken any is when a family member offers it, but then I will give them something in writing (on my own accord) clearly pointing out when I'll make payments and how much those payments will be. Life, friends, family and other relationships are just too important to lose over money. I'd run for the hills if I met someone that I didn't know wanted to borrow money from me... huge red flag and totally disheartening in my opinion.
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 35
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asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/3/2007 5:53:05 AM
i had a similar tip experience once -- the guy insisted on paying for our brunch even tho i had said i'd pay my half, he pushed my money away and said 'no no no, you can't take it with you, it's just money,' etc... but then he was really struggling to figure out what to leave for the tip, finally leaving a $5. then i went to the restroom, came back and noticed he had taken the 5 back and left a one dollar dollar bill there (the check was @ $30). so i just took a 5 out of my purse and added it to the dollar while we were walking out...

it didn't make sense to me, why didn't we just split the bill and leave an appropriate tip? it's like he wants to be the big guy with me and pay the bill but then when i'm not looking he wants to short the waitress on the tip?
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 39
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asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/3/2007 11:25:45 AM
but johne (OP), why did you want to see her again even after she did something that made you feel she was trying to use or (worse) scam you? how could you still be attracted to a person you feel has tried to use or scam you? dunno, that confuses me. isn't it important to be with someone who is honest and doesn't use people in that kind of way? or in ANY way?

i'm just curious about why you would still have been interested in continuing to see her if you felt that way...

cheers!
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 41
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/3/2007 1:51:45 PM
I think everyone has gone through periods when they are just broke. But normal people just stay home of find something to do that is inexpensive. If a date asked me for money I would politely decline and would probably never see her again.

It's one thing to help out a partner you are dating, but just one date does not equal "we're dating."
 VargaGirl
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 42
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/7/2007 6:45:52 PM
WOMANS LIBERATION????????


Why didn't she ask you to drop her off to a friends house so she could borrow money from them?

Why didn't she tell you before she turned up that she was going to run out of petrol?

Why didn't she get you to meet her at a place that was closer to her house so she could walk or get a bus home?

Why didn't she tell you she was skint and would prefer to go and get a coffee during the day?

While she was crying you should have said, "Why didn't you ask your daddy to pay for your petrol, youre obviously used to that YOU BIG BABY?"

At the moment I am a female with very limited resources. I have felt compelled to go halves when my "male friend" and I go out for lunch simply because I am very proud of the fact that I can stretch my money a long way and I have independence. There is nothing worse then a female who can't change a lightbulb, check the oil in her car, or take care of herself financially. This isn't the 1950's. We earn the same wage usually, so why do we expect the world to owe us a living. GUYS NEVER FALL FOR IT!

We went through womens liberation to earn equal rights and now we want it both ways?

What do we value? Things? Stuff? I wreckon a good hug and a guy who makes me laugh is worth more then a plate of food with Mr.Dull and primpy!
PULEASE!!!!!


Spoil a girl occasionally.... but pay for their lack of resourcefulnes? DONT DO IT!
 ~Juggernaut~
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 43
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/7/2007 7:33:08 PM
Hey you got a couple bucks I can borrow ?
 berrysweetncgurl
Joined: 8/2/2004
Msg: 45
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 5/7/2007 11:47:46 PM
to the OP: maybe she read a little too much into your profile.....it does say you are generous !! Maybe you should change your title on your profile, to me it comes across as a green flag for gold diggers....

But seriously asking you for money on a first date is horrible......
People have no dignity anymore, anyone will just ask you for change or $$ and not feel the least bit embarrassed by it.

There were a group of teenagers in Wal-mart the other day going around and asking people for change. The one boy come up to me (no older than 16, mind you) and asked if I had some change. I couldnt help but laugh at him and tell him No not that he could have. this may sound mean, but these kids were probably making a fortune asking everyone for change.
 Rocketgirl4
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 46
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:27:33 PM
Double holy hannah!

If I was desperate for some unthinkable reason I would maybe ask but that we only be if I was bleeding profusely and needed bandages lol. My god.......run.......
 Rocketgirl4
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 47
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/24/2007 8:28:07 PM
would......oops a typo.
 NotherFishNtheC
Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 48
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/24/2007 9:33:55 PM
Interesting approach to it. There was this girl I was "talking to" once, from offline (she was a "beertub girl" at a club I used to go to; should have probably been a clue), and I mean, we'd been out a couple times, nothing exclusive. I used to go visit at the club, you know, big deal. So, she asks me for 2 grand, to bail a friend out of jail. I asked what her friend did. Wouldn't tell me. Just like that.....just ....out of the blue. Look I'm sorry but I need 2 grand. Needless to say I told her no. Do you know this woman hounded me about this money, for about two three weeks??? I kept just fobbing her off after the initial request (and denial) call; stuff like lemme call you back I'm busy, you know, BS, but I was driving in my great-grandma's funeral procession in fact, and she called my cell yet AGAIN , asking about how she could get this money. That was when I finally lost all patience and civility with her and started speaking to her ... the way "Superfly" might, lol... no, but seriously, there are some strange ppl out there who will not hesitate... not hesitate at ALL to ask.... one would think common decency if not common sense would preclude someone from doing this kind of thing really (I mean, I'd have a hard time asking a long-time close friend for money), but yeah you were totally right to not give her any (good that you paid for dinner though; I always do that myself too). I wouldn't have even done the agreement thing; just tell her no and don't talk to her again. It's not right. IMO at least. Something's not right about a person who asks to borrow money from you on a first date. No way. Sorry.
 moniquesc
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 49
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 6:41:38 AM
I would have never given her the $30. If she didn't have the money to het home then she shouldn't have come in the first place. How unbelievable that she would ask you for money.
 Gr8_Kisser
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 50
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 6:53:19 AM
Dude, I swear you start the weirdest threads

Cheers,
Christopher
 atlast
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 51
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:10:26 AM
It clearly demonstrates a total lack of class for someone to try to borrow money on a first date. I always offer to sleep with my date for it!
 Struedel
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 52
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 7:42:12 AM
She's playing a dangerous game scamming people like that - someday she's going to meet up with someone not so nice

You should've stuck to your guns when you said no
 JBike
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 53
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:13:13 PM
tdh, I have read some of your posts on here, and the one common thread I see through all of them, is mate, you're beyond stupid ! WHY in God's name would you give someone asking for money on a 1st date your ATM card AND your pin?? Let me guess, yesterday, you were an embryo, right? You need to detach your lips from the proverbial female hiney and stand on your OWN two feet, it's men like you, that the rest of us (The metaphoric pack) would destroy, you're a burden and you do not function normally in the world around you ! I suggest you read Thomas Paines "Common Sense" because you're obviously lacking it.
 Struedel
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 54
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:38:26 PM
I suggest you reread his post
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 57
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 2:26:09 PM
Thirty dollars? wow, you got off cheap. Could have been far worse.
 julie6345789
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 58
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 8:49:04 PM
GOOD for you -you did the right thing. She beat you out of a dinner and tried for $30.00 more.
 thegreendragon
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 59
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 6/25/2007 9:07:55 PM
any of you have backbones? ever heard of just saying no?
 justinakrfc
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 61
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 9/14/2007 10:46:12 PM
People amaze me. I'm tight when it comes to letting my friends borrow money. I'm like "You have a job, don't you?" Not that I am OVERLY stingy, but my money is my money. If someone agrees to a date, I'll assume they have their own money. The minute I hear someone wants money, that's the immediate turn off. Goodbye, later. Because it starts with 30 bucks, then it becomes a hundred, and you can see where it's going.

That was a nice trick with the agreement. I would never let it get that far though. Being generous is picking up the tab for dinner. Giving money is just being gullible.
 jed456
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 63
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asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 9/15/2007 4:40:41 AM
To the op You got off cheap lesson learned.
 chelsea_hou
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 65
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 9/16/2007 3:31:33 PM
You paid for dinner good for you, why you had to agree to it is beyond me. Chances are she would of paid you back. Why you wanted an IOU for $30 bucks I'll never know. I can see where she would of felt insulted. I have never borrowed money, but I could easily lose or have my wallet stollen at the wrong time, could happen to anyone. I would easily give NOT loan a lousy $30 bucks. Yes you were wrong in asking her to sign an aggreement. I think she saw the red flags. Why do so few trust.
 Diana619
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 66
asking to borrow money on first date
Posted: 9/16/2007 3:40:50 PM
Ranks right up there with a guy I went out with who let me pay for the coffee because he suddenly had to go to the mens room when the bill came. What a PRINCE!
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