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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Never married & no kids      Home login  
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 SwimminWithTheFishies
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 301
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Never married & no kidsPage 13 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
I assume they're very intelligent.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 302
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/8/2010 11:16:59 AM
I have no kids becaues I don't want any but, I was married and have been in long term relationships in the past so I guess that takes me off the wierdo alert.

I have dated men who are older, had never married, and had no kids and I have to say that even those that are not overly strange are extremely ego centric people that are hard to deal with because they are not used to making accomodations to get along in a relationship. I even lived with one and he had no clue that there was another person with needs of their own was now living with him. He made no room for my things, made no effort to participate in any of the activities I liked or get to know my circle of friends and did not vary his routine or his lifestyle one iota in response to my presence in his life and home.

I imagine the same standard would apply to women who never marry or have children. If you live alone all your adult life you may have nothing wrong with you other than an aversion to relationships but, you are likely to be hard to live with.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 303
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/8/2010 12:34:42 PM

I assume they're very intelligent.


^^^True that!

I've never married/no kids (by choice), so I wouldn't be so quick to assume. Times have changed, and not everyone wants to be married/have kids.

Now if they never had a relationship; I'd find that odd.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 304
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/11/2010 11:55:08 PM
A man left alone could go his entire life and not get married or have kids

and we would get away with it too, if it werent for you meddling womenfolk

(channelling my Scooby Doo moment)
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 305
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/12/2010 5:40:48 AM
Never married and no kids?

That was the best man to find when I was dating! LOL. No crazy ex-wife, no custody battles, no child support wars, no drama, and no kids to deal with.

Heaven!
 BeatrixKiddo2010
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 306
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/18/2010 3:00:36 PM
I don't, but that's because I don't need marriage or kids myself to be in a long term relationship with someone. But I'm an "oddball" compared to most women my age.

I don't judge anyone that's never been married because I don't want them to judge me either. That wouldn't be very fair of either of us.
 hermindisright
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 307
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/19/2010 6:00:14 PM
I totally agree. Im 34 not married and no children Im looking for the same I know its slim pickings but I always have my eyes open lol
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 308
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/3/2010 5:44:08 AM
OMG I'm 45 and not married and have never bred, my life is over, where is the bridge to jump off?
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 309
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/3/2010 11:13:00 AM
never married no kids...nothing truly wrong with the person.

yet you have to ask yourself one question.

that person likely has had at least 1 opportunity in their lives to have gotten married, so why did they not?

and what makes you believe that this person would change their life's pattern just because of you?

noone else could tie them down, so what makes you believe you are the one to tie them down?

if that is on your goal sheet- its time to move on.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 310
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/4/2010 12:31:02 PM
What I want to know is, is why do so many people assume everyone has had the opportunity to get married? I have yet to meet a woman who flat out wanted to start a family with me. Anyways I am not sure if I really even want to get married. I see nothing wrong with someone who is over thirty and does not have children or has ever been married. To me, it sounds as if they have made very good choices. Why get into something that may cause more harm than good. This is going to sound very silly, but I don't recall ever have dating or meeting a woman who wanted to have children with me, much alone spend the rest of her life with me, and I am okay with that these days. After all I have kind of gotten used to rejection, and now I am more afraid of success, because if one is crazy enough to want to marry me and have children with me, my answer would be, oh no! Now what I am supposed to do.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 311
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/6/2010 6:41:57 PM
Just had a birthday
adding another year to being not married and not having kids to my resume.
 valleyguyaz
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 312
Never married & no kids
Posted: 1/27/2011 3:58:36 PM
i have never been married and i don't have any children.

why do most married or divorced people with children pass judgement on people that are single and never married?

i would think if anything most single people would have more right to judge someone who has children and is divorced.your the ones who not only made bad choices but others besides yourself (your children) have to live with those choices.

we should treat every person and their situation as unique whether your
married,divorced,single, widowed
have kids or don't have kids.

i really do try my best to do this and i hope others would do the same.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 313
Never married & no kids
Posted: 1/27/2011 7:25:31 PM

i have never been married and i don't have any children.

why do most married or divorced people with children pass judgement on people that are single and never married?

Probably because many single/never married/no children people think or say or type things such as this:

i would think if anything most single people would have more right to judge someone who has children and is divorced.your the ones who not only made bad choices but others besides yourself (your children) have to live with those choices.

(Maybe that was just your analogy ~ but maybe for others it truly is how they think.)

we should treat every person and their situation as unique whether your
married,divorced,single, widowed
have kids or don't have kids.

I agree to an extent. I have always had a preference for men who've either never been married with no children or who have been married, yet divorced for a LONG time with no children. That worked perfectly my entire adult life until my only child died. Since then? Those that I've encountered since I've felt it was appropriate to date again, who have NOT had children of their own, simply do not quite understand the depth of the loss. It's been apparent to me time and time again while dating, that there is just an emotional disconnect for those who have not had children when it comes to dealing with my reality. Not a thing wrong with that ~ and not all those with children have been able to understand or want to either (there is a fear that one day they could be in my shoes, it's a very scary thing.) So regardless, it's not always as simplistic as it seems, nor is it anything but a case by case thing. I can't see myself being with a man long-term that does not have children (grown, that is) at this point in my life. Even though 17 months ago I would have never said that statement. Things changed. JMO
 valleyguyaz
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 314
Never married & no kids
Posted: 2/2/2011 1:12:09 AM
i don't know how a parent that has lost a child would feel and i hope i never will.my sister has also lost a child due to a freak accident(on this childs birthday he was hit by a car when he got out of the yard and ran into the street(he was 3 years old).this was the most devastating thing that our family has went through and it's a pain that will always be there.i can only imagine what my sister and her husband have had to cope with.i'm sorry for your loss.but that was not really my point though.

i really wasn't trying to attack people who are married or divorced and have children.i was trying to point out that i as a single person with no children don't really appreciate when a married or divorced person with kids assumes that all single people in their 30s or 40s have a character flaw or commitment issue.there are legitimate and honorable reasons that some people have for wanting to stay single.

 GlassicGentleman
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 315
Never married & no kids
Posted: 2/3/2011 5:23:00 AM
I don't make assumptions. If that girl can make me feel good and I can make her feel good, then it's alright.
 Daisyrose73
Joined: 9/23/2010
Msg: 316
Never married & no kids
Posted: 2/3/2011 5:44:27 AM
Well that wouldn't send up an immediate red flag for me. What would is how long they were able to maintain a relationship. If someone is 40 and has only been able to sustain a relationship for 1 year I would wonder why. Also I need to find out if now they are looking to have children since I can't now and I would wonder if they don't then could they accept mine.

That is a lot of hoops to go through though right off the bat and I would probably think we are not in the same place in life.
 starzgirl72
Joined: 2/23/2011
Msg: 317
Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:23:43 AM
I wouldn't assume anything negative right off the bat; for me, it would be a positive to find that in a man as I'm in the same boat.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 318
Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/31/2011 3:53:46 PM
I don't assume anything anymore. That criteria matters little until I meet the person.


That worked perfectly my entire adult life until my only child died. Since then? Those that I've encountered since I've felt it was appropriate to date again, who have NOT had children of their own, simply do not quite understand the depth of the loss. It's been apparent to me time and time again while dating, that there is just an emotional disconnect for those who have not had children when it comes to dealing with my reality.


I have never been married, or had children; yet I cannot relate to men who don't want children. I'm a very family oriented woman.

Now, now sure we hear that all the time from profiles on here (I've read it myself). However I have lived with children almost all my life. I like them, but I can't have children of my own - there's not that many men around who have had a similar experience that I've met.

Finding a man who is similar to me and who does not want children is very difficult. I too often find men who don't want children (barring age, can't have etc.) to sometimes have strange ideas about family and traditions. I often found myself attracted to the men who did want children (both profile and photo).

When I start dating again, I will need to think a bit more on this. Maybe I'll just wait until men around my age stop wanting children LOL.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 319
Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/31/2011 4:21:37 PM
Never married & no kids......and thank god for that!


....................................................................................................................................
 romancemann
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 320
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/3/2011 5:43:24 PM
i never had children because i always dated women who already had children and didn't want anymore.

now at 59 i find myself childless.

but i can still opt to have one or two if i want to.
 loves2runn
Joined: 3/28/2011
Msg: 321
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/6/2011 1:05:08 PM
I'll admit, It's hard not to at least wonder considering by that age most people have been married or had kids. On the flip side of the coin, some people, myself included were just never in a real big hurry to get married or have kids. Being 35 and being in the single never married/no kids status to me ..makes me and others in this category pretty good prospects in my opinion. First of all by this age most of us are past the party antics and games that a lot of younger people tend to like to play and are normally more established financially ect. Also people who marry later in life have a better chance of staying married and having satisfying relationships. This is statistically proveable not opinion. That's not to say that getting married younger is a bad idea either. I prefer to date someone that has less relationship experience over someone who has a lot of failed relationships because they don't come into the relationship with as many preconceptions or hangups.
 Spank_Me_Honey
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 322
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/8/2011 9:46:41 PM

why do most married or divorced people with children pass judgement on people that are single and never married?

i would think if anything most single people would have more right to judge someone who has children and is divorced.your the ones who not only made bad choices but others besides yourself (your children) have to live with those choices.


nicely said
 bigben1731
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 323
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/9/2011 3:22:47 AM
never got married im basically childless but happy thought im 33 so no quams about that its pretty good being single most these days theres alot of divorce and stuff like that and im happy that i never been married or dont have kids to worry about
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 324
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/9/2011 6:13:56 AM
Well known in fraudster and telemarketing circles. Someone who fell for it already is more likely to again. Always single and childless is not as good a mark as someone who has already been duped.
 GerberData
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 325
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/9/2011 9:17:10 PM
Assume the best; expect the worst.

My experience? Many never married/ no kids women were too selfish to share anything, hence always single no kids. I'd assume there are those described here is in the same situation for other reasons. I just haven't met them.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Never married & no kids