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 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 426
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Never married & no kidsPage 18 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
The problem isn't marriage or kids, but seems a few of you can't see the deeper point. That in itself may just be that shallow, self-absorbtion I keep seeing. Read between the lines, you are missing the whole point!


While I agree that marriage and having children are opportunities to practice selflessness, they are not the only paths - and maybe not the best paths. Many unmarried childless people practice unselfishness or selflessness in ways that I, husband and father of four, can’t begin to fathom. Mother Theresa for example. The only distinction I see, is that it easier for some to love their own - making it easier to give to someone else, thereby creating a natural stepping stool (if you will) towards selflessness. But then maybe not everyone needs that.


Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” — Herman Hesse


“Opinions mean nothing. They may be beautiful or ugly, clever or foolish, anyone can embrace them or reject them.” - HH
 Sleek_Stallion
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 427
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/22/2011 9:42:12 PM
I do question why.. Yes they are very responsible. but guys having kids in our thirties is a little over the hill. Our bodies are meant to have kids by 20s and 30s (atleast).

Anyway you have one here ...me.


I have tried to say sober. I work alot and had some down turns in life. I was seriously going to get married to a beautiful girl but it did not work out. My family said I should try again and again I met someone but I could not go through with it.. (Long Long story short) After that I thought about it and wanted to take it easy, fix my emotions and date to see what it is I am looking for... can you tell all that on my profile? should I even list that??

I notice when I am talking with a femaile, and I mention I was going to be married, she seams more acceptance of me????? Gosh I mean if I didn;t mention it does that automatically put me in the (never got some- zone?) Do I look that young or desperate??

Anyway what do yuo think?
 starzgirl72
Joined: 2/23/2011
Msg: 428
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/23/2011 8:20:18 AM

I dont know what Im missing - but I dont think theres anything wrong with me because of it! Not everyone has to follow the same path x

Exactly; not everyone has had the same experiences, upbringing, or opportunities that other's may have had. I don't look down on other people for being divorced or for being a single parent alone...I need to learn more about a person before deciding if their situation is a red flag or not for me.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 429
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/23/2011 1:23:46 PM

I do question why.. Yes they are very responsible. but guys having kids in our thirties is a little over the hill. Our bodies are meant to have kids by 20s and 30s (atleast).

LOL ~ I can see you've not looked at many profiles of men in their 40s/mid40s/late40s. MANY want children. I find it odd, but fact, nonetheless. They likely enjoyed their younger years and are now feeling the sting of getting old and having no genetic legacy, or they use the "I didn't have time when I was young" statement or whatever, but it's not uncommon to see those near my age wanting to have a family. I wish them well with that ~ I think they're likely fairly delusional about what having a child is ALL about, but to each their own.
 MICKEY747
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 430
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/23/2011 3:15:30 PM
The ones who have kids think we are the screw ups for not having going thought that married and kids.They think were the black sheep. The ones without out kids and marrige just knew to early to have them.You have to live life before you show someone the ropes when you bring them into the world.
 MICKEY747
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 431
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/23/2011 3:16:50 PM
the women at that age already had them with a baby dady we dont want to be part time parents
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 432
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/24/2011 12:01:48 AM
They are called MINKs My Income NO Kids
as opposed to DINKs Dual income No Kids
or Siks Single Income Kids
They are well spotted by their toys, nights out, and knowing grins on their faces.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 433
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/24/2011 2:44:35 AM
Never married with no kids seems more "marketable" than divorced with 2 kids.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 434
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/24/2011 8:54:37 AM
They are called MINKs My Income NO Kids
as opposed to DINKs Dual income No Kids
or Siks Single Income Kids
They are well spotted by their toys, nights out, and knowing grins on their faces.


Then you have your SILKs - Single Income Lots of Kids. They are remarkable for the number of (mostly broken) toys they dodge when pulling into the driveway and the grins on their faces as they are ambushed by hordes of grimy children in dirty diapers.
 suburban_gal
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 435
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/24/2011 8:58:52 PM
I don't make any assumptions simply because a person over 30 was never married and / or doesn't have kids. If I liked a man, I would get to know him first.
 Whole 9 Yards
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 436
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/27/2011 9:59:14 AM

They are well spotted by their toys, nights out, and knowing grins on their faces.

I would have to agree with this statement.
Some of the attitudes put forth here really suck. Sounds like there are some folks who regret their family choices and want to make sure those who haven't chosen the same path are just as miserable.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 437
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/27/2011 3:10:02 PM

do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?


It's always better to assume rather than ask questions !

Why ?

Because that is the best way to ensure you remain ignorant !

Remember :

Ignorance is bliss !

Three cheers for bliss !

 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 438
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/29/2011 9:10:38 AM
You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?
I'm sorry, but if I'm browsing profiles, I'd prefer to see that the person is never married with no kids;
as oppossed to:
-having numerous kids from numerous fathers,
or
-30something, and already married and divorced numerous times.

It seems so fvcked up to me, that divorce, temporary marriages, and recreational breeding are now so common in our society, that the person who's been stable enough to avoid failed marriages, or raising children in broken homes, is the one who's now treated with suspicion, is if there's actually something wrong with them.

If I'm going to make any assumption about such a person, I'm just going to assume they simply have not met the one person yet, whom they are going to marry and raise a family with. .....and that they are also stable enough to have avoided failed marriages, and/or **stard children in the mean time.
 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 439
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/29/2011 9:15:41 AM

LOL ~ I can see you've not looked at many profiles of men in their 40s/mid40s/late40s. MANY want children. I find it odd, but fact, nonetheless. They likely enjoyed their younger years and are now feeling the sting of getting old and having no genetic legacy, or they use the "I didn't have time when I was young" statement or whatever, but it's not uncommon to see those near my age wanting to have a family. I wish them well with that ~ I think they're likely fairly delusional about what having a child is ALL about, but to each their own.
Maybe those men are a lot less "delusional about what having a child is all about"; than the naive young person who has 3 children before the age of 21, despite not having any financial resources or stability in their life?
 PaulyAndy
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 440
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/10/2011 12:16:30 PM
JMO but most of the women I have known that never had kids were totally self absorbed. Many of them have surrogate dogs or cats of which they have assigned way to much value. I avoid em like the plague.
 jmiles1975
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 441
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/13/2011 8:29:56 AM
Not all women or men that have never married and have no kids are self absorbed. I have not met a man yet that is worthy of my love. I want children and have considered alternative measures but financially its not possible. If I never meet that special someone and if I never have children then so be it. I have met MANY men and women that have children who are so self absorbed that they treat their children as if they are an inconvience or a burden, if you are that way and you know it then its a wise choice not to have kids.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 442
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/13/2011 9:58:04 AM
^^While we may grow to be more self-absorbed, I do agree that some people who have children are self-absorbed as well. They become so self-absorbed in their own life that they pay no attention to anyone else and thus act in rude and entitled ways. I see it every single day. Being a parent doesn't automatically give one class, courtesy and manners.

I was "self absorbed" enough to know that having children would mean my child would probably develop a chronic illness and have to go through what I did and then might have to go through life with a sick parent. Hence, I decided not to have kids.

Not everyone fits the mold.
 Sexygurl1974
Joined: 3/31/2011
Msg: 443
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/16/2011 1:28:54 PM
What a nice little thread.

So funny that this is what MY profile looked like until I realized I was being judged by ignorant (Black) Men, who no doubt have a crap load of kids and most of whom are divorced and DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF ME AS A BLACK FEMALE.

Then I changed my status to "Divorced"

I don't feel right lying about having children but lying about marital status is a lie I can tell.

We'll see how long it stays up there.

It's a crap site and now my whole profile is mean, bitter and crappy and I'm finished being nice because nobody appreciates it and nobody cares.

No more nice emails to guys who waste my time either. I guess they'll have to get to the point or bug off.

 Charlos0618
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 444
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:58:34 AM
Well, I have been married, no kids, I am in a special circumstance, I had stepkids, I really didn't want to have more, I do avoid the women that have kids.
 ChinaRain
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 445
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/18/2011 4:52:27 PM
You know, many people simply do not want children.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 446
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/19/2011 10:50:05 AM

JMO but most of the women I have known that never had kids were totally self absorbed. Many of them have surrogate dogs or cats of which they have assigned way to much value.


Oh snap, I could be the male version of that! I put way too much value on my dog and cat, but that really disqualifies me from being self absorbed. There is a flaw in your statement.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 447
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/19/2011 12:05:23 PM
^^^Good catch on the flaw.

I do agree with you, your profile has your dog in like every pic. You might wanna see someone about that - someone on here probably thinks it's a flaw.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 448
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/19/2011 12:18:06 PM

I do agree with you, your profile has your dog in like every pic. You might wanna see someone about that


So true, but my dog is the best part about me. It's like a package deal. Put up with me and you get to spend time with him. I'm not really that bad, he's just that good.
 Charlos0618
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 449
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/21/2011 9:23:55 AM
I wish I had a dog. I need to go to the shelter and save one. Maybe I will be the dog guy. lol
 writercookmt
Joined: 5/28/2011
Msg: 450
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/21/2011 10:46:18 AM
I would simply conclude he (or in my case she) had other priorities they wished to attend to.

I'm 33 never married and no kids - most of the people I know that were married or have kids, they have had a hell of an expensive and troublesome ride just to get where I am. - single.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion - but remember that assumptions are what robs us of something good in life more than protects us from something bad.
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