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 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 451
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Never married & no kidsPage 19 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
Never married with no kids seems more "marketable" than divorced with 2 kids.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 452
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/24/2011 8:54:37 AM
They are called MINKs My Income NO Kids
as opposed to DINKs Dual income No Kids
or Siks Single Income Kids
They are well spotted by their toys, nights out, and knowing grins on their faces.


Then you have your SILKs - Single Income Lots of Kids. They are remarkable for the number of (mostly broken) toys they dodge when pulling into the driveway and the grins on their faces as they are ambushed by hordes of grimy children in dirty diapers.
 suburban_gal
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 453
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/24/2011 8:58:52 PM
I don't make any assumptions simply because a person over 30 was never married and / or doesn't have kids. If I liked a man, I would get to know him first.
 Whole 9 Yards
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 454
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/27/2011 9:59:14 AM

They are well spotted by their toys, nights out, and knowing grins on their faces.

I would have to agree with this statement.
Some of the attitudes put forth here really suck. Sounds like there are some folks who regret their family choices and want to make sure those who haven't chosen the same path are just as miserable.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 455
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/27/2011 3:10:02 PM

do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?


It's always better to assume rather than ask questions !

Why ?

Because that is the best way to ensure you remain ignorant !

Remember :

Ignorance is bliss !

Three cheers for bliss !

 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 456
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/29/2011 9:10:38 AM
You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?
I'm sorry, but if I'm browsing profiles, I'd prefer to see that the person is never married with no kids;
as oppossed to:
-having numerous kids from numerous fathers,
or
-30something, and already married and divorced numerous times.

It seems so fvcked up to me, that divorce, temporary marriages, and recreational breeding are now so common in our society, that the person who's been stable enough to avoid failed marriages, or raising children in broken homes, is the one who's now treated with suspicion, is if there's actually something wrong with them.

If I'm going to make any assumption about such a person, I'm just going to assume they simply have not met the one person yet, whom they are going to marry and raise a family with. .....and that they are also stable enough to have avoided failed marriages, and/or **stard children in the mean time.
 ferruginous
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 457
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/29/2011 9:15:41 AM

LOL ~ I can see you've not looked at many profiles of men in their 40s/mid40s/late40s. MANY want children. I find it odd, but fact, nonetheless. They likely enjoyed their younger years and are now feeling the sting of getting old and having no genetic legacy, or they use the "I didn't have time when I was young" statement or whatever, but it's not uncommon to see those near my age wanting to have a family. I wish them well with that ~ I think they're likely fairly delusional about what having a child is ALL about, but to each their own.
Maybe those men are a lot less "delusional about what having a child is all about"; than the naive young person who has 3 children before the age of 21, despite not having any financial resources or stability in their life?
 PaulyAndy
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 458
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/10/2011 12:16:30 PM
JMO but most of the women I have known that never had kids were totally self absorbed. Many of them have surrogate dogs or cats of which they have assigned way to much value. I avoid em like the plague.
 jmiles1975
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 459
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/13/2011 8:29:56 AM
Not all women or men that have never married and have no kids are self absorbed. I have not met a man yet that is worthy of my love. I want children and have considered alternative measures but financially its not possible. If I never meet that special someone and if I never have children then so be it. I have met MANY men and women that have children who are so self absorbed that they treat their children as if they are an inconvience or a burden, if you are that way and you know it then its a wise choice not to have kids.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 460
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/13/2011 9:58:04 AM
^^While we may grow to be more self-absorbed, I do agree that some people who have children are self-absorbed as well. They become so self-absorbed in their own life that they pay no attention to anyone else and thus act in rude and entitled ways. I see it every single day. Being a parent doesn't automatically give one class, courtesy and manners.

I was "self absorbed" enough to know that having children would mean my child would probably develop a chronic illness and have to go through what I did and then might have to go through life with a sick parent. Hence, I decided not to have kids.

Not everyone fits the mold.
 Sexygurl1974
Joined: 3/31/2011
Msg: 461
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/16/2011 1:28:54 PM
What a nice little thread.

So funny that this is what MY profile looked like until I realized I was being judged by ignorant (Black) Men, who no doubt have a crap load of kids and most of whom are divorced and DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF ME AS A BLACK FEMALE.

Then I changed my status to "Divorced"

I don't feel right lying about having children but lying about marital status is a lie I can tell.

We'll see how long it stays up there.

It's a crap site and now my whole profile is mean, bitter and crappy and I'm finished being nice because nobody appreciates it and nobody cares.

No more nice emails to guys who waste my time either. I guess they'll have to get to the point or bug off.

 Charlos0618
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 462
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/17/2011 12:58:34 AM
Well, I have been married, no kids, I am in a special circumstance, I had stepkids, I really didn't want to have more, I do avoid the women that have kids.
 ChinaRain
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 463
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/18/2011 4:52:27 PM
You know, many people simply do not want children.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 464
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/19/2011 10:50:05 AM

JMO but most of the women I have known that never had kids were totally self absorbed. Many of them have surrogate dogs or cats of which they have assigned way to much value.


Oh snap, I could be the male version of that! I put way too much value on my dog and cat, but that really disqualifies me from being self absorbed. There is a flaw in your statement.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 465
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/19/2011 12:05:23 PM
^^^Good catch on the flaw.

I do agree with you, your profile has your dog in like every pic. You might wanna see someone about that - someone on here probably thinks it's a flaw.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 466
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/19/2011 12:18:06 PM

I do agree with you, your profile has your dog in like every pic. You might wanna see someone about that


So true, but my dog is the best part about me. It's like a package deal. Put up with me and you get to spend time with him. I'm not really that bad, he's just that good.
 Charlos0618
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 467
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/21/2011 9:23:55 AM
I wish I had a dog. I need to go to the shelter and save one. Maybe I will be the dog guy. lol
 writercookmt
Joined: 5/28/2011
Msg: 468
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/21/2011 10:46:18 AM
I would simply conclude he (or in my case she) had other priorities they wished to attend to.

I'm 33 never married and no kids - most of the people I know that were married or have kids, they have had a hell of an expensive and troublesome ride just to get where I am. - single.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion - but remember that assumptions are what robs us of something good in life more than protects us from something bad.
 m68
Joined: 2/12/2005
Msg: 469
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/21/2011 6:53:22 PM
Sometimes life gets in the way and didn't think there was an "age" when you had to have kids and be married in order for people not to think you're wierd lol
 boterkoek73
Joined: 12/18/2010
Msg: 470
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/26/2011 10:27:13 AM
Assumptions are the mother of all screw ups!! Don`t assume. You don`t know this person enough, or at all! Would you rather he or she be divorced with 4 kids? It can`t hurt to ask. And if he or she is an honest, agreeable person then he or she may appreciated your interest and tell you what you want to know!
 Sleek_Stallion
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 471
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:23:33 PM

Many of them have surrogate dogs or cats of which they have assigned way to much value.


lol. so true, so true,
Their "like" thier baies when actually they need some
 Sleek_Stallion
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 472
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:36:13 PM

Sometimes life gets in the way and didn't think there was an "age" when you had to have kids and be married in order for people not to think you're wierd lol .


There is wake up. Which society are you from? lol

I guess its human nature..
 Sleek_Stallion
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 473
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:45:55 PM
writercookmt on 6/21/2011 118 PM
Subject: Never married & no kids
Message: I would simply conclude he (or in my case she) had other priorities they wished to attend to.
I'm 33 never married and no kids - most of the people I know that were married or have kids, they have had a hell of an expensive and troublesome ride just to get where I am. - single.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion - but remember that assumptions are what robs us of something good in life more than protects us from something bad.


Ok why do we in US think marraige = troules? Maybe that's why people are not getting married untill they're sure it will work out(like me). I truthfully heard sooo many bad marraige stories. I rememer many times, after their horrific stories, people even advised me "you better be absolutely prepaired before you get married, if not then face the consequences of what could happen.. fire and brimstone, divorse and domestic violence..." S

Hence, currently, Im not married and "not yet ready for it." It may have gone to my head.

Isn't there some nice marraige stories.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 474
Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/27/2011 9:32:57 AM
^^^^^
Isn't that a good thing -- to recognize the troubles? By default, there is a strong, intangible wind blowing everyone in the direction to get married for the sake of being married, whether they're with someone or not (the latter being the questionable pressure).

We don't live in a world where you NEED to get married & have kids anymore, and older generations want to see their bloodlines continue, which is why that persistence still exists. Also, if they're not getting married -- OMG, they have needs so they must be a total tramp or male slut!

If one is single, they ARE not ready for it. If one is just dating someone they ARE not ready for it. It's about TWO people being ready for it, and that being based on their environment & situation in life AND most importantly, the relationship they have -- not to be married for the sake of being married, or feeling like they're "not complete".

Being married by itself is not a solution to anything.
 Consigliori
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 475
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 6/28/2011 8:30:40 AM

If one is single, they ARE not ready for it. If one is just dating someone they ARE not ready for it. It's about TWO people being ready for it, and that being based on their environment & situation in life AND most importantly, the relationship they have -- not to be married for the sake of being married, or feeling like they're "not complete".


I’m happily married, we have four children and would have more if I weren’t so d*mn old already. I often find myself defending the institution of marriage from the burned and sour, but I think that this poster has a healthy approach. Too many marry when they aren’t ready. Too few take it seriously enough. And there is too much pressure on people to jump into it.
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