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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Never married & no kids      Home login  
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 martiekat
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 51
Never married & no kidsPage 3 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
I find it a little funny that some folks are chiming in that people over thirty who aren't married and don't have kids shouldn't be judged, but at the same time making assumptions that if someone is over 30 and has kids or is divorced, that person either was irresponsible, settled for the first person they could get, or is somehow "flawed" for having been divorced. Seems a little silly.

It's probably safer all around to not jump to conclusions. I think the information I would be most interested in is whether or not they've had serious, long-term relationships before. But that's just me.
 Realsnaps
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/11/2007 7:15:49 PM
Well, I've gone through 43 years of living without being married and I have no children. Granted, I was a child myself for a bunch of those years and another 16 of those years was in one relationship (which is a whole other "assumption"). In those sixteen years there were so many "assumptions" made, inuendos, strange looks when we said we didn't want kids, and a mess of other offshoots that I thought about making hand-outs for all of the people who asked. Assume away folks! Wouldn't you rather know that he/she didn't really want kids? Truth is, there's a hell of a lot of people out there that think that way for a varied number of reasons. Take a chance, know the person, ask the question.
 tiggertiger
Joined: 3/5/2007
Msg: 53
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/13/2007 2:44:20 PM
I'm 39, never married with no kids. I think it is safe to make assumptions that there is indeed, something wrong with the person.

Take me for example. I never married because I scared all suitable women away by smothering them with attention, then stalking them when they refused to let me move in with them, and finally throwing bricks through their windows when they would not return my phone calls after finding the tracking beacon I put in their vehicles. I even once strapped myself to the underside of a SUV, and got a bad case of road rash, all the way to her cottage where I confronted her on her houseboat. The police never did find the body.

As for kids, look I have never had kids with any of the women I have stalked because large doses of anti-depressants cause erectile dysfunction. Which could be the reason why they all dumped me forcing me to do things I didn't want to do.

So yes, it is safe to assume that men with no kids and no marriages are to be avoided. Better yet, call the police.
 happy_steven75
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 54
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/13/2007 3:30:37 PM
I am 31, never married, no kids.......and I KNOW my situation has had to do with my past and circumstances (good and bad).

Assumptions make an ass out of you and me......

Infact, I strongly believe that because I have never been married and do not have kids....I now LONG for my true love and my own family; this contemplation makes me excited and a deeper appreciation of loving my family deeper and more passionately.......I NEVER EVER EVER EVER WANT TO HAVE A DIVORCE AND THAT NASTRY, STOMACH WRENCHING WORD, I BELIEVE NEEDS TO BE DELETED FROM MY VOCABULARY.........*thump on my head*......ummmm........what was I talking about?......who am I?....why am I typing this?........
 alone-in-fort-mac
Joined: 5/10/2007
Msg: 55
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/13/2007 5:58:27 PM
I am 33, I have never been married and I have no children. I spend most of my life studying and building a successful career for myself. I am now starting the career of my dreams, hopefully starting the rest of my life. I am a shy, private person, which is why I am online. Moving to a new place, thought it would be a good place to meet people.

Just becuase I am over 30 and never have been married and haven't started a family, does not mean there is anything "wrong" with me, I have no comitment phobias, I am not barren, I like to consider myself as a nice person, kind, caring, generous and perhaps attractive to some. I have simply decided to prioritize my future.

I wanted an education, "check",
I wanted a successful career with a respected company "check",
prefer to be financially stable "check"...
and now it is now time to continue my list.
Find a suitable partner and start a family, live happily ever after.

I too believe marriage is for life.
 wonbyjc
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 56
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/13/2007 6:54:32 PM
I am sorry, but I would make assumptions. Something is wrong. If you do read on and the profile doesnt address it, then RUN! After all, there are POF!
 gothchilde
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 57
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/13/2007 8:50:37 PM
Hmmm... 39, no ring, no spawn. Sigh. I actually had some serious reasons for getting this far without children or marriage- hadn't found my mate, yet, and I grew up in poverty (still there, technically)- I didn't want to raise a child in that situation. Wanted to get my head together, first. Get an education, find a career. You know, the polish to the diamond in the rough.

To the fellow who posted earlier with the assumption that a reason for being on this site is because that person is ugly, is 'uglier' than anyone I've yet to meet here (that is, if the guy was serious- he may have merely made a failed attempt at irony). You need to get a clue, son- that attitude HAS to go. After all, YOU'RE here too. What does that make you? The only 'perfect physical specimen'? Specimen of something, certainly, and certainly not perfect.

A person in their twenties making the decision to wait for marriage and children IS mature, in my book. Period. Imagine someone who can sit down and think about something so long-view at that age; isn't that remarkable?

I'm not ugly, physically, or otherwise, and it's my belief that most of the folks on here aren't either. To categorize the folks who use this site in such a shallow fashion is truly sad. Son, why are you even here? Surely someone who is so 'well-endowed' can find a mate elsewhere. Or maybe your participation is only a time-waster where you can make yourself feel big by cutting down others who wish to find something we ALL need; love.

Buddy, you need help, if that attitude is representitive of your personality. I sincerely hope it isn't...

Keep it surreal.
 Realsnaps
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 58
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 8:56:35 AM

I am sorry, but I would make assumptions. Something is wrong.


I'm probably going to regret this, but what exactly are you assuming?
 maryrachelle
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 59
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 9:03:58 AM
Someone who would assume that something is wrong with you because you do not have failed marriages and children trailing behind you is an idiot. I would be more Leary of the person with the failed marriages and kids then the person who decided not to get married and have kids until it was the right time. Personally for me the right time to have kids will be NEVER !! I can not understand people who want the whining ,snot nosed ,temper tantrum throwing brats.What a waste of time and energy.
 Hayley60
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 60
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 9:36:01 AM
This may be a bit of a cop-out, but I'm in the same boat (divorced, no children), so when I run into anyone (usually women unfortunately!) that make rude mark about 'why not', I just tell them I couldn't (for health reasons). That shuts them up immediately!
 wonbyjc
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 61
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 10:30:01 AM
Mainly if they are over 30 though
 wonbyjc
Joined: 3/20/2007
Msg: 62
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 10:30:11 AM
Mainly if they are over 40 though
 maryrachelle
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 63
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 10:39:06 AM
^^^^^someone can not make up her mind. Which one is it ?? mainly over 30 or 40?
 Pucks
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 64
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 11:03:14 AM
Everyone is unique and we all have different experiences in our life.

Assumptions are the mother of all **** ups.
 cdnjackal
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 65
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 11:11:53 AM
What drivel, good God it is 2007 right? at least when I woke up this morning it was 2007, Ive never thought that I would ever hear that a person in their 40's never been married, no children and thats makes you loser, something wrong, problems committing, and any other negative assumptions? and you wonder why some people run from people like you?

There are many reason why someone hasn't married? you cant lump them all together, the fact that I own my own place, have a car,vacation a few times year, financially independent but because I haven't been married, no children, no crazy ex wife, multiple alimony payments or fighting over custody and child supports payments makes me undesirable to some of you ladies? good lord
 moundpuppy
Joined: 1/27/2005
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 1:31:25 PM
makes you wonder where the world is going doesn't it. If a person that is not married and no kids is to be weary of, then what is a single person to think of someone that has been married, divorced with kids. personally I have no problem with a woman being divorced with kids or a single woman never married and no kids. But the look could be reversed quite as easily. What could have been the problem there, Not enough caring or devotion, committment, faith, trust, and ect. Why couldn't they make it work . We all have things that are important to us and what we do to handle them is with in us and of no one elses business. Personally I lost a relationship just because of an accident causing me not to be able to father a child. I think the lady needed to grow the hell up and the likes but I also figured that was her right to live her life as she saw fit. Would have given her the world if I had been given the chance but why the hell. isn't it strange how people think that a person has to have made stupid mistakes and had to have rebounding problems due to that fact just to be normal. We all make mistakes but why make the one that will be a result that may last a lifetime afterwards. Sorry but I don't think so. I am not apposed to marriage but when I make the step I am going to be sure in my mind that thats the step I want to make. As far as kids well thats another matter and it will be discussed openly and upfront. I have no problem with kids as they seem to flock around me always asking me questions and following me. Don't mind it that they ask and they need to know if they are young. They make the world go round. its all on how you look at things for sure.

Moundpuppy
 youheartme
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 67
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 4:51:41 PM
At this time in my life, I don't believe in marriage. I also don't think it would be responsible for me to give birth to children. So,...society, you're welcome.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 68
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 5:33:18 PM

You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?


I wouldn't assume or question. I find that a good quality/trait, nothing troubling about that to me.
 YoungOldDude
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 7:42:21 PM
If I catch a hint of negative assumptions...I smile, turn and walk the other way.
No time to deal with that kind of crap! I've made good choices in some areas of my life, don't give me crap about it!
 Sigi
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 70
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:11:27 PM

You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?


Why would you question me or immediately making assumptions?
 who_the_fox
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 71
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:06:03 AM
I don't make assumptions about someone who has never been married and has no kids. Why should I?



Oddly, I am currently involved with someone who has never married or had kids and although it doesn't give me even a moments hesitation, it bothers my mom and my friends. Go figure.
 jeepin
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 72
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 7:09:02 AM
A person that makes no assumptions about a person after learning two huge facts about them (not married/no kids) to me seems pretty unperceptive. You don't have to make ignorant or bad assumptions, you can make perfectly good assumptions about the information. Forming no opinion at all sounds pretty indecisive. Without a biological impairment (mental or physical) it will always mean the person has priorities placed higher than intimate family life.
 -SweetHeart-
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 73
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:43:58 AM
Where are those profiles? I need someone well over 30 without kids!

I'd assume he isn't into having a family, never found someone to have kids with, or maybe he's still searching....
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 74
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 12:26:23 PM
I'm 47, have never married or had kids and am fine with it. I haven't ruled it out, it has just never felt right. One of my friends sang at the 1st wedding of a 58 year old last year, so anything is possible.

I am the type of person who would rather be alone and happy than encumbered and miserable. My reasons are that I have watched some family and friends marry more than once and be unhappy. I have had opportunities to do so, and have always believed that when/if it was meant to happen, it would.

I have not had kids because I have never married and I am old-fashioned in that respect. it is also a tremendous responsibility and I have never felt that I could live up to my standards. By the same toke, I have lots of nieces and nephews and have watched and participated in the raising of some of my friends kids. This has been satisfying. As I tell people, I love to spoil, hop them up on sugar and give 'em back!

When I was in my 30's, people would get very intrusive with the questions and comments, like you are a "pretty girl", why? I had a repetoire of smart a$$ed replies such as: I was meant to be a mistress, hide your husband. This would shut them up and send them on their merry way.

As I've gotten older, no one gives me any nonsense. They are either stunned or congratulate me.
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 2:16:03 PM
had a few opportunities when younger, but hindsight is a wonderful thing :)

one friend has had all the kids, then he had 2 female friends stay over, both got pregnant by some strange man and the kids looked like him, his missus went up north to see some of her friends and stayed there and married him... plenty of friends who got married, divorced - one of whom seems to have given the ex everything to get away..

used to stutter badly, which sort of knocked the self confidence, especially having excellent hearing and hearing the comments... so marriage never was a major thing for me, but not religious either

looking around here and there, if it happens it will, if it does not, then it won't
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Never married & no kids