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 tanzanite99901
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 76
Never married & no kidsPage 4 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
wow..that many results with single mothers, must be near Seattle. I think we're the single mother capital of the US....and here I am in the minority.

I don't remember who said it, but someone made a great point. We hear enough from our families....why aren't you married? why haven't you found someone? why don't you make me a grandkid already....who wants to hear it from anywhere else?
 tanzanite99901
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 77
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 8:27:58 PM
Piscescoda,

Just turned 30. I think my grandmother thought I was in the closet as well until just the past couple years. So I understand that one..haha I've moved around a lot my entire life which made relationships difficult. I have had three serious relationships and the rest were the month here few weeks there. Maybe I should grow some roots somewhere. Ehhh...if it finds me..it finds me. Until then..I guess i'll be in my closet (at least in my families mind) with the plastic hangers (wire hangers are too dangerous)
 tanzanite99901
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 78
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:15:12 AM
Not to be rude, but the comments are based on people in their 30's. Not 20 years old. You have no idea what life you live between 20 and 30. I'm happy for you and your happiness and I hope it lasts forever. But please do not think you have any idea of what someone who is in their 30's has gone through just because you started playing house early in your life.
 tanzanite99901
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 79
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:41:02 AM
Hermit,

As one of those fine wines....I buy it! haha
 NancyC123
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 80
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 11:01:15 AM
I'd just assume this person hasn't found the one he'd like to marry and have kids with. Why assume anything else? Why should there be an age limit as to when we should all follow the supposed rules of society?

Hell, I'm 44 - never been married and don't have kids. Does that make me a leper or something? No, it simply means I haven't found the one that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with - and I do not WANT kids. The rules shouldn't be any different whether you're a man or a woman.

Just my 2 cents on the matter.
 tanzanite99901
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 81
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:59:49 PM
Hermit,

Low insurance is the best part! haha
 tanzanite99901
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 82
gloomy fish
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:23:42 PM
sounds like a productive day on POF to me!
 mcopado
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 83
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/3/2008 4:23:33 PM
I'm kind of stunned to hear that there are people out there who actually
think there's something wrong with me because I am over 40 and single an
childless. There's actually another thread on here that accuses me and
guys like me of being selfish simply because I happen to now be over 40 and
never been married.

Let's see, maybe I could have been married a couple of years ago, but I
needed to put my new career and my life on hold for a year and a half to
care for my elderly parents who both became I'll at the same time, then
I lost my father, and need to make sure my 82 year old mother could
function without her husband of 65 years..Yeah I guess that's selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in the 6 years prior to that but
suddenly after working in a career since I was 16, I had a "calling" and
ended up (kicking and screaming mind you) to devote 4 years to going to
graduate school, so I could help my fellow man...yeah I guess that's
selfish...

Maybe I could have gotten married in my early 30's, but let's see I was
"working on myself" doing all sorts of personal growth stuff, so I could
be a better human being...to potentially be a great partner to someone,
and an even better father than my father was to me, because he came from
a time where men didn't necessarily show affection, especially to their
male children because they wanted them to be tough, and I didn't want to
be that kind of parent/husband when I did find the right person to share
my life with...yeah I guess that was selfish of me..

Hmm maybe I could have gotten married when I was in my 20's, yeah that
would have been a great time, when I was struggling financially, and was
basically an arrogant and immature twit who didn't know anything about
life, and was barely a few years out on my own..hmm that's a great time
to get married eh? A better time to be a parent too?

Getting married when we're "young and dumb" as opposed to when we've
learned a a few things about life, the universe, how to be a partner is
"unselfish?" Or the reason the divorce rates are so high, and there's so
many people in there 30's and 40's on here (and in society) who are
listed as seperated or divorced???

And who carry enough baggage with them to fill at least 2 U-Hauls.

Now that doesn't mean I haven't had relationships...I was engaged once
when I was young and dumb, and again about 5 years ago, neither of those
worked for various and complicated reason. I've also had a couple long
term relationships, where we realized that we weren't "it" for each
other and parted ways, and countless other dates and periods of dating
women for a short period on the quest for finding the right one...

Usually one if not both of us agreed that we just weren't the ones for each other for the long haul.

There's no shame in being single....Our lives are complicated. I'd
rather be single and relatively happy than with the wrong one and be
miserable...I've been there way too many times. The only difference is,
that I didn't jump into anything...I'm looking for a rest of my life
partner, I only want to be married once. I'm glad I found out before
hand that it wasn't going to work, with whoever it was....that way I
won't be bitter and judgemental like many of the people who start
threads like this.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 84
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:45:30 AM
I prefer never married and no kids! I want someone that has time to date and time for me! When u get into the ones with kids they don't have time to date. I require someone with alot of time for me.The every othe weekend don't work for me. If I were doing that I would have to find someone to date the off weekend! Why should someone have to sit home cause one has their kids? I think people with kids should date people with kids and get their schedules so they have the same weekend off!
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 85
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:35:49 PM
Divorce, separated... call it what you want, but it's still a failure.
To compare:
No soldier wants to serve under a general whose lost a war (even if he says "he's changed" or learned a lot since then). They'd rather serve under a general who has a string of victories to his name. It's just common sense.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 86
Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 6:12:27 PM
rose666,

i for one dont agree. i am 20 years old i have been married for 4 years i have a 3 year old son ... so really i have achevied what most people achevied in theres late thirtys and for that i am proud

Okay, so now you're 21, on a dating site, listed as single, and looking for older men, and point out you find the charles manson types interesting in your profile.

Still look at people who were never married as those who have a lack of "achievements"? lol
 mshazelize
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 87
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/20/2009 1:47:09 PM
I don't have any kids BECAUSE I'm not married.

I try not to look sideways at a guy who is over 30 and is not married, and does not have any kids, but I still find myself doing it sometimes. I try to tell myself that maybe he's just like me, maybe he hasn't met the right person yet; and that I shouldn't assume that something is wrong with him because he is over 30, never married, and no kids. I hate for people to assume that "something must be wrong with me" or that "I'm crazy" and those are the reasons that I don't have any kids and have never been married. But every now and then, I do find myself applying the double standard, and wondering what's wrong with a guy if he is over 30 and has never been married, and doesn't have any children.
 teemack87
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 88
Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/23/2009 4:51:43 PM
I find it hilarious that people smart and responsible enough to wait are being questioned, shouldn't it be the other way around???? Makes you wonder.
 brynn005
Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 89
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:33:59 PM

I would just make assumptions.

I would assume, that he has been responsible enough, to use birth control with his partners, because he might have realized, that 1. There are already too many people on the planet. 2. He might feel that he would be unable to provide a safe, financially secure environment for his offspring, and he doesn't want to be irresponsible. 3. He didn't find anyone compatable to marry, and was not willing to settle for a relationship out of mere desperation, in order to avoid being single.

I'm sure there are many more assumptions that can be made, just as there can be made for women and men who have been married several times, and have a bunch of kids that they cannot afford to take care of properly.



Well said, Geneseo. And I feel the same about the matter. I don't plan to have kids, myself and I'm not sorry about this decision. It's not that I don't like children, but I just don't want to actually have any right now. But if i met the right guy and HE had kids, I wouldn't mind helping him raise them.
 brynn005
Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 90
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/25/2009 5:41:37 PM

I find it hilarious that people smart and responsible enough to wait are being questioned, shouldn't it be the other way around???? Makes you wonder.


You would think people would admire a man or woman for being responsible and holding off on having children, wouldn't you. But I think society still kind of expects people--women especially--to be/have been married and have children. But thankfully society isn't as rigid about this idea as they used to be. I'm grateful for that as I'm 39 and still don't have children (and have never been married) and may choose to to NEVER have children. Otherwise I guess people would give me odd looks or consider me a 'spinster' or something lol.

I had talked this over with a friend of mine and she said she thought the people who give me odd looks would probably be people who had 2 or 3 kids and were jealous or envious that I didn't have any.
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 91
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/27/2009 6:44:02 PM
It's called birth control. I went on it when I was 17 and have taken that little pill everyday since...I have had several long relationships, but none that resulted in a trip down the asile which would be the only reason I would stop taking said pill...
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 92
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:51:44 PM
I didnt read all the post on this thread but i find it intresting and funny.. I you are over 30 and have no kids then there must be something wrong with you... If you are over 30 and do have kids then you would have harder time finding someone to date you cause you do have kids... Most of the time the ones that would say there must be something wrong with you are the ones that do have kids. Well im 43 dont have kids and would rather date someone with no kids. If i would have to take care of kids i would rather they be my own and i would like to have them with someone i want to have kids with.. Maybe it is the city i live in but there are plenty of single not married and no kids women out here. But then many of them have "i wont settle" in the profile as well it might have something to do with it lol ...
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 93
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/11/2009 12:24:05 PM
never engaged, never married, no kids. Spent my younger days in the military and out to sea; didnt make sense to have a wife and ruglets at home. And from what i have seen in the unit, it was the right choice on many levels.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 94
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:19:08 PM
Never married, no kids, why?

I didn't want to be on jerry springer or cheaters.

The good thing

No baby mama drama for the next one that comes along.

Don't have to pay alimony so she can give it up to some other guy on my money,

And i don't have to pay child support just to see her spend my kids money on herself rather than my kids.

Pretty smart if you ask me.
 GeekedNow
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 95
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:20:52 PM
Bill Gates was 40 before he got married.

I personally know a lot of people over 40 who are single and not married.

In many circles its actually a perference.

I also have a friend who was married twice and he said if he would have to do it over again he would do it differently.
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 96
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:51:23 PM
Yes, I make assumptions. I assume she is a smart person who didn't blunder into early parenthood or a hasty marriage. She is a strong woman who took control of her own life and didn't leave things to fate. She is the kind of person most worthy of respect.
 jennivieve
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 97
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History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:52:02 PM
I am never married with no kids.....

I find it amusing when people tell me I am lucky I never got pregnant....at 36 it isn't luck anymore...

I also had an ex recently say something about there must be a reason I am never married with no children...he was seperated with children...there must be a reason for that too....

It's not easy to find the "one" these days and that's what I want.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 98
view profile
History
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:33:05 AM
If this is a 'taboo' then it's a great 'taboo'!
~sc~
 Iamrealdeal09
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 99
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:15:15 PM
I am nearing 34 and never been married and no kids, it is because never met the right one, maybe about 3 years ago I did, but she kicked me to the curb......lol
 antiquedude
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 100
Never married & no kids
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:00:51 PM
I've never been married and have no kids. It simply hasn't happened. I just haven't found anyone that has the qualities that I'm looking for in a relationship.

As men instead of the, "lucky you never got pregnant" comment. We get people wondering if we're gay. lol

Not that there is anything wrong with that. (Seinfeld)

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