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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Never married & no kids      Home login  
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 101
Never married & no kidsPage 5 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
i will be 38 on Sept 4 and I have no kids. I am glad for i believe that you need to be somewhat secure to raise a child. If i am struggling now how would I be able to support a child?
There are so many women out there having babies that are by no means responsible to raise them properly and give their child all they need without help from family and others.
I feel women or men over 30 and no kids and not married have their priorities right. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH US!!!
Why be suspicious? I think we are people that are responsible, have hi expectations for ourselves and we want to be careful and make sure we have the right partner before diving in to marriage and children.
TRUTHFULLY these days most first marriages end up in divorce and kids suffer threw it. It only makes sence to wait to your older and more mature in dating and relationships before having kids.

I also want to address those that are suspicious towards someone for being a devorcee. Just because a man or woman are devorced does not mean he/she are damaged goods. Get to know the person and judge them by your own experiences with them and not by their past relationships. I had a bad marriage. I been devorced fro 11 years and I feel I am a better person by learning from mistakes back then that make me a better woman and girlfriend now.
In my case I got a devorce when I was 25/26 because my exhusband beat me to an inch of my life and my life was in danger . I had to get out for my safety. I was not a bad wife I just got married when I was young and stupid and I rushed into things and thus I ended up being with a very bad person. I did not heed the warning signs that were all over the place. i have not remarried yet for I learned to have high standards for myself. I want to marry a man for the right reasons.
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 102
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/17/2007 9:03:18 PM
when i see a chick whose in her thirties/forties and no kids
she usually turns out be gay, so waste of time getting excited over that.

I'm 44, no kids, never married, its not that i couldnt have, its just that i didnt want to grow old with the ones then in my life.
Mainly though, I wasnt really a good time for me, recovering from a serious motorbike, then going to university then spending three years hunting down a new career start.

I'm certainly ready and willing now, but at 44 I find interest from Woman in their 30's very limited to non existent at least none without children, that are keen to start with someone my age, So hence my interest in finding a compatible life partner from another country is high.
Maybe im a litt jaded over this medium for finding im, but then i dont have the interest of trolling the bars and nightclubs, and work is off limits...sigh
 Ur Xoxo
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 103
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/17/2007 10:57:57 PM
Asking questions may give U an acceptable answer... assume... makes an *ss of U and me.
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 104
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/18/2007 4:56:51 PM
I send a note.
I try not to make assumptions but usually my thoughts are that the woman in question is:
quick witted
likes her freedom
and knows what she wants but hasn't found it yet.
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 105
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/19/2007 4:54:26 PM
Everybody has different circumstances- I think being judged by this is highly unfair but judgments are what many use without knowing the facts.

I dated and lived with someone for most of my late 20's and 30's. She went to school twice and got her career going. I worked hard on my career with the expectation we would be married. She finished school, we bought a house and then she decided she didn't want to do this.

Go back to the dating scene to find

women are bitter and mistrustful of guys
women my age aren't interested in dating guys their age
go onto online dating to discover I'm competing with married men, young guys and old men for a women's attention
dogs are more valued than men

But I keep the faith and try to keep my eyes open for that one that will come along. I think a can be a bit too selective sometimes but I have tried to let people into my life that may be not my perfect ideal and it hasn't worked yet but maybe someday the right one will come along.

Guess I'll just keep on trying- right up until they start tossing the dirt on me. Its part of the human condition I think.
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 106
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/20/2007 8:24:03 PM

You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?

Simple, I don't question why and I certainly don't make assumptions ! Since I don't have kids and I'm well over 30. I simply say : "wow, great !!!!!"
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 107
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 2:05:31 AM
ITS the END of the WORLD....
the END of the WORLD
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 108
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 12:46:39 PM
Fascinating thread, with a great many opinions on it. Figured I would throw my .02 pence in. I am 42, have never married and have no kids. Why? I honestly haven't met someone who matches me yet. In some ways I have a unique lifestyle that would be rough on most partners. Also the past several years I have been living like a gypsy floating from job to job . I don't think it is a red flag, more of a point to chat on as they may had the most fascinating time growing up and it needs to be heard.
Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 109
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 2:28:43 PM
I never been married never had kids. I have had alot of long term relationships and I think the only effect of me not getting married with those girls when I had the oppourtunity. Is now I'm not divorced. I would be open to having kids with the right person.I would have to feel like it was someone I could depend on staying consistant in a relationship. I came up in a single parent home , my mother was married 2 times. I would want my kids to have their biological mother and a father living in the same household who are together. But also im fine with not having kids if I dont meet anyone who seems like they would have the devotion to go the long haul
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 110
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:26:18 PM
This also might be different for men, as men can procreate into their 50's and 60's.
 Harry Bumchuckle
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 111
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:18:38 PM
I agree with agentangi, I am the same - went to school, had fun, went on to get a business going and after awhile the business was like my child and wanted to grow it and attend to its needs. The challenge after that is that you rely on your staff for socializing ( i don't mean sleep with them) and your old friends have gotten married, taken tradional jobs in their field and are busy with raising children. After that it gets even harder to find a good match ( not a tropy partner ). When you do meet someone you like, you are already trying to schedule them in - instead of taking time to get to know them. I truly believe that you need someone who is in a similar situation. I have dated women who already had children on a few attempts but they are at a different point in their lives - either already having experienced what I was seeking to experience for the first time - ie. the joy of the experience of having children together. Even in the case where the woman was interested in having another child, it still isn't the same. For me it would me -omg , omg - and for her it would be - ho hum, ho hum...I hope this doesn't offend anyone - I have the greatest respect for single moms and the challenges they face.
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 112
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:50:24 PM
I was married and had 2 step-kids but now am divorced but still to this day think I will make awesome dad one day. My ex had 2 miscarriages so being a father just was not in the cards for myself at that time. I hope to one day find that special someone and be blessed with a child. It's all in the man upstairs hands as far as I am concerned. As far as dating someone with children I am all for it as long as I show a positive impact. I still have memories from my childhood of people who were influences to me. I want tht\at impact on any kid I meet.
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 113
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/24/2007 1:23:04 PM
Never married, no kids here.



I've always cherished my freedom and intellect. Therefore, I have a career, my own home and my independence. I've never had a maternal instinct, therefore no unwanted babies. I was responsible enough to use birth control.

I'm a woman who knows what she wants and I'm not afraid to defy societal expectations.

If anyone decides to make their own assumptions, that's their problem. What do I care what people think? I'm living the life I've always wanted.
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 114
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/24/2007 1:28:24 PM
BEEN THROUGH a lot of bad relationships, am glad i did not have to give 1/2 of everything i own to get out of it///and the same for having kids with some of the psycho females i have had the pleasure of dating/leaving...
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 115
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/26/2007 6:05:49 AM
I am 44 and have no children and never been down the isle. Its a personal decision for everyone.
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 116
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/26/2007 2:20:37 PM
Really, I think that it's next to impossible to find someone in my age group has not had children or been married. It's just that most of these ladies may prefer a man who also has children of his own because they believe that somehow he will understand, or they have something in common. DEEVA, what do you think they assume?
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 117
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/26/2007 6:44:13 PM
Hello all,
For those who think I started this thread 2 have people "explain" why they chose not 2 get married or have kids... you're wrong! I started this thread becuz I noticed how some people tend 2 judge 30something's or older in a negative way, as if there's something wrong w/them, I can remember an x co-worker who had this HUGE crush on a guy ( in his late 40's) who had just joined the company we worked at, she finally got up enough nerve 2 ask him about his marital status, he told her that he's never been married w/0 kids, she then comes back to tell me & a few others how disappointed she was becuz he seemed like a great catch, in "her"opinion... if a man is in his 30's, 40's ect., never married & 0 kids, he's either a total nut-case, has committment issues or he's gay, I was amazed at how some of the other women agreed w/her, becuz I never would've thought that about him, it's kinda like those on here who post negative comments about others that they don't even know.
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 118
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:42:08 PM
Yeah, would think the person is gay, a nut case, or both.

There, I said it.

Nevertheless, that is a rebuttable presumption.
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 119
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:29:12 AM
You should never question or make assumptions. I myself have never being married or have kids but that only because I had mor important things to do when I was younger. I loved to travel and made it out almost six weeks of every year. Something I needed to get out of my system so I never had time or interest to settle down and raise a family.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 120
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/29/2007 3:00:43 PM
Most of the men from my past had never been married, nor did they have or want children. Today, the only man I think I might like to date is near my age, never married/no children. That seems to be my "norm." To each their own. It's not a red-flag to me that he hasn't married or have children ~ what a red flag to me is a man who has children (or a child), never sees them, never plays an active role in some part of their life and the quickest deal-breaker in my life: trash-talking the mother of his children. Once that happens, we're done. It takes two people to fail in a relationship ~ unless she is standing there to tell me her side of the story, I don't want to hear it. And I definitely would wonder about the ilk of that man. But, that's just me.
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 121
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/29/2007 3:48:24 PM
Very well stated greeneyez!
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 122
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:23:59 PM
I have never been married and have no children. The reason is as complicated as the reason I don't date very much. Not that I'm against getting married and having kids but in my case and Only mine, I would prefer to have my children with my wife and live that way for what the vows said for better or worse . I have dated some women with kids and it has not gone well but remember I'm only talking about myself. There is nothing more
wrong with someone as myself who has never been married or children than there is a guy who has been married multiple times , its just a circumstance that happens for X number of reasons way to complicated to get into in a forum such as this.
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 123
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/30/2007 3:55:46 AM
never married --- there are as many crazy women out there as there are pervert men. A good woman is NOT an easy thing to find and I refuse to settle for a marriage that may fail in a few years.

No children --- why have children if you can't find a woman you want to be with longer than a couple years? Children mean a lifetime of dealing with that woman.

I find it terribly interesting that a responsible man sends up red flags to some ladies. Kind of feeds into the perspective that women don't want a good man, they want the irresponsible, bad, boy.
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 124
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/30/2007 10:11:09 AM
when u see neva married no kids
these are comittment phobes and itll be hell tryin to bring em around to ur way of thinkin as they will FIND N E excuse to dump u
been there girl like knockin ur head against the wall
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 125
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/30/2007 6:42:53 PM

when u see neva married no kids
these are comittment phobes

Bull. Sorry you went through that but DON'T lump us all into that category! I am never married and no kids. I am still looking for someone that completes me. Read my post earlier in this thread on it. I have never dumped any of my ex's, we always parted amicably and I am still in contact w/most of them. We catch up on lives share our joys and downs.And WHY should they be brought around to YOUR way of thinking may I ask? I always thought a relationship was part give and take and to some degree compromise! NOT "do as i want if you want this to work" (which seems to be what your implying here). If thats what you want go find a little milktoast of a man an make him miserable, no skin off my nose.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Never married & no kids