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Joined: 7/3/2007
Msg: 101
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I have met so many F'd divorced women. Whether or not they were the problem in the marriage. Lets say he was the problem. They have to deal with something horrible in their life. There are a lot of people who just dont know how to heal from it. Many put heavy restrictions or limit their compromises because of this past luggage. I am sure there are the same problem with Divorced Men.

Do never marrieds have problems, Yes.

It is more up to the person Divorced or not and how do they compromise, heal, adjust and adapt to situations. That is more important then whether they were ever married or not.

Hope that helps.
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 102
Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/9/2007 8:26:00 PM
Why is it that people feel they have to explain, defend or justify the way they choose to live there life? Married people aren't questioned or expected to divulge their reasoning for marrying someone, because it is already accepted as the right thing to do with no questions asked. The mere fact that they ask "why" makes it seem like a single is nothing to be proud of so explain yourself!
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 103
Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/25/2007 9:45:20 PM
i am a never been married& no kid guy,I just havent had that kind of 43 i feel that iam too old for marrage and i dont want to raise a kid in a world of war and hate.but i do want to live the rest of my life with someone if she has a kid or not.
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 104
Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/26/2007 8:53:11 AM
never been married. no kids. think that it is not uncommon nowadays. think that it is not odd to consider reasons why a potential partner hasn't been married or had kids. however, if you are considering a long-term relationship then you may want to know that information. on the otherhand, think that the inference made from the post is a changed paradigm. but, the rest of society have to catch up. for those who are up to date, there is probably no issue at all. it would seem that a gal who made an independent decision to remain single and forgo having kids until she was ready would be a good quality. this quality to me would also infer that the gal is able to prioritize, and may also be a good decision maker. so if a guy has issues with you not having been married or no kids, then allow him to resolve his own issues. but that is just me
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 105
Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/26/2007 10:24:09 AM
my reason for myself not bieng married is due to travel/employment over the years.this is a intresting post,would a woman that has been married except a guy that has never been married with kids? on the other side i have noticed on other dating sites,i have found that on one site there are 12 pages of women that have been married and have children,then looked up with the ones that have none.only nine women in the area never been married and no, for me to find a woman with no kids will be a tough nut to crack.this may sound dissapointing to the guys, as for myself it will be a new experiance to know a woman that has been married with a kid,i will be ok with that.
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 106
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/17/2007 8:13:23 PM
i will be 38 on Sept 4 and I have no kids. I am glad for i believe that you need to be somewhat secure to raise a child. If i am struggling now how would I be able to support a child?
There are so many women out there having babies that are by no means responsible to raise them properly and give their child all they need without help from family and others.
I feel women or men over 30 and no kids and not married have their priorities right. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH US!!!
Why be suspicious? I think we are people that are responsible, have hi expectations for ourselves and we want to be careful and make sure we have the right partner before diving in to marriage and children.
TRUTHFULLY these days most first marriages end up in divorce and kids suffer threw it. It only makes sence to wait to your older and more mature in dating and relationships before having kids.

I also want to address those that are suspicious towards someone for being a devorcee. Just because a man or woman are devorced does not mean he/she are damaged goods. Get to know the person and judge them by your own experiences with them and not by their past relationships. I had a bad marriage. I been devorced fro 11 years and I feel I am a better person by learning from mistakes back then that make me a better woman and girlfriend now.
In my case I got a devorce when I was 25/26 because my exhusband beat me to an inch of my life and my life was in danger . I had to get out for my safety. I was not a bad wife I just got married when I was young and stupid and I rushed into things and thus I ended up being with a very bad person. I did not heed the warning signs that were all over the place. i have not remarried yet for I learned to have high standards for myself. I want to marry a man for the right reasons.
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 107
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/17/2007 9:03:18 PM
when i see a chick whose in her thirties/forties and no kids
she usually turns out be gay, so waste of time getting excited over that.

I'm 44, no kids, never married, its not that i couldnt have, its just that i didnt want to grow old with the ones then in my life.
Mainly though, I wasnt really a good time for me, recovering from a serious motorbike, then going to university then spending three years hunting down a new career start.

I'm certainly ready and willing now, but at 44 I find interest from Woman in their 30's very limited to non existent at least none without children, that are keen to start with someone my age, So hence my interest in finding a compatible life partner from another country is high.
Maybe im a litt jaded over this medium for finding im, but then i dont have the interest of trolling the bars and nightclubs, and work is off limits...sigh
 Ur Xoxo
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 108
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/17/2007 10:57:57 PM
Asking questions may give U an acceptable answer... assume... makes an *ss of U and me.
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 109
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/18/2007 12:06:57 AM
its kinda weird
and cool at the same time
would wonder if she has travelled or has huge career
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 110
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/18/2007 4:56:51 PM
I send a note.
I try not to make assumptions but usually my thoughts are that the woman in question is:
quick witted
likes her freedom
and knows what she wants but hasn't found it yet.
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 111
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/19/2007 4:54:26 PM
Everybody has different circumstances- I think being judged by this is highly unfair but judgments are what many use without knowing the facts.

I dated and lived with someone for most of my late 20's and 30's. She went to school twice and got her career going. I worked hard on my career with the expectation we would be married. She finished school, we bought a house and then she decided she didn't want to do this.

Go back to the dating scene to find

women are bitter and mistrustful of guys
women my age aren't interested in dating guys their age
go onto online dating to discover I'm competing with married men, young guys and old men for a women's attention
dogs are more valued than men

But I keep the faith and try to keep my eyes open for that one that will come along. I think a can be a bit too selective sometimes but I have tried to let people into my life that may be not my perfect ideal and it hasn't worked yet but maybe someday the right one will come along.

Guess I'll just keep on trying- right up until they start tossing the dirt on me. Its part of the human condition I think.
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 112
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/20/2007 8:24:03 PM

You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?

Simple, I don't question why and I certainly don't make assumptions ! Since I don't have kids and I'm well over 30. I simply say : "wow, great !!!!!"
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 113
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 2:05:31 AM
ITS the END of the WORLD....
the END of the WORLD
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 114
view profile
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 12:46:39 PM
Fascinating thread, with a great many opinions on it. Figured I would throw my .02 pence in. I am 42, have never married and have no kids. Why? I honestly haven't met someone who matches me yet. In some ways I have a unique lifestyle that would be rough on most partners. Also the past several years I have been living like a gypsy floating from job to job . I don't think it is a red flag, more of a point to chat on as they may had the most fascinating time growing up and it needs to be heard.
Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 115
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 2:28:43 PM
I never been married never had kids. I have had alot of long term relationships and I think the only effect of me not getting married with those girls when I had the oppourtunity. Is now I'm not divorced. I would be open to having kids with the right person.I would have to feel like it was someone I could depend on staying consistant in a relationship. I came up in a single parent home , my mother was married 2 times. I would want my kids to have their biological mother and a father living in the same household who are together. But also im fine with not having kids if I dont meet anyone who seems like they would have the devotion to go the long haul
Joined: 10/8/2006
Msg: 116
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:26:18 PM
This also might be different for men, as men can procreate into their 50's and 60's.
 Harry Bumchuckle
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 117
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:18:38 PM
I agree with agentangi, I am the same - went to school, had fun, went on to get a business going and after awhile the business was like my child and wanted to grow it and attend to its needs. The challenge after that is that you rely on your staff for socializing ( i don't mean sleep with them) and your old friends have gotten married, taken tradional jobs in their field and are busy with raising children. After that it gets even harder to find a good match ( not a tropy partner ). When you do meet someone you like, you are already trying to schedule them in - instead of taking time to get to know them. I truly believe that you need someone who is in a similar situation. I have dated women who already had children on a few attempts but they are at a different point in their lives - either already having experienced what I was seeking to experience for the first time - ie. the joy of the experience of having children together. Even in the case where the woman was interested in having another child, it still isn't the same. For me it would me -omg , omg - and for her it would be - ho hum, ho hum...I hope this doesn't offend anyone - I have the greatest respect for single moms and the challenges they face.
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 118
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:50:24 PM
I was married and had 2 step-kids but now am divorced but still to this day think I will make awesome dad one day. My ex had 2 miscarriages so being a father just was not in the cards for myself at that time. I hope to one day find that special someone and be blessed with a child. It's all in the man upstairs hands as far as I am concerned. As far as dating someone with children I am all for it as long as I show a positive impact. I still have memories from my childhood of people who were influences to me. I want tht\at impact on any kid I meet.
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 119
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/24/2007 1:23:04 PM
Never married, no kids here.



I've always cherished my freedom and intellect. Therefore, I have a career, my own home and my independence. I've never had a maternal instinct, therefore no unwanted babies. I was responsible enough to use birth control.

I'm a woman who knows what she wants and I'm not afraid to defy societal expectations.

If anyone decides to make their own assumptions, that's their problem. What do I care what people think? I'm living the life I've always wanted.
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 120
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/24/2007 1:28:24 PM
BEEN THROUGH a lot of bad relationships, am glad i did not have to give 1/2 of everything i own to get out of it///and the same for having kids with some of the psycho females i have had the pleasure of dating/leaving...
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 121
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/26/2007 5:11:00 AM
oh your not normal unless youve made vows and broke them..or had kids and abandoned them...i dont get the question.....
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 122
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/26/2007 6:05:49 AM
I am 44 and have no children and never been down the isle. Its a personal decision for everyone.
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 123
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/26/2007 2:20:37 PM
Really, I think that it's next to impossible to find someone in my age group has not had children or been married. It's just that most of these ladies may prefer a man who also has children of his own because they believe that somehow he will understand, or they have something in common. DEEVA, what do you think they assume?
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 124
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/26/2007 6:44:13 PM
Hello all,
For those who think I started this thread 2 have people "explain" why they chose not 2 get married or have kids... you're wrong! I started this thread becuz I noticed how some people tend 2 judge 30something's or older in a negative way, as if there's something wrong w/them, I can remember an x co-worker who had this HUGE crush on a guy ( in his late 40's) who had just joined the company we worked at, she finally got up enough nerve 2 ask him about his marital status, he told her that he's never been married w/0 kids, she then comes back to tell me & a few others how disappointed she was becuz he seemed like a great catch, in "her"opinion... if a man is in his 30's, 40's ect., never married & 0 kids, he's either a total nut-case, has committment issues or he's gay, I was amazed at how some of the other women agreed w/her, becuz I never would've thought that about him, it's kinda like those on here who post negative comments about others that they don't even know.
Joined: 7/5/2007
Msg: 125
Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:42:08 PM
Yeah, would think the person is gay, a nut case, or both.

There, I said it.

Nevertheless, that is a rebuttable presumption.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Never married & no kids