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 tinkrbella
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 201
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Never married & no kidsPage 9 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
Ah, Ishtar38, I didnt even have to look at you profile to know that you do not have children, nor havent been married. It is sad that there is so much profiling going on with both sides of the spectrum, though I m not judging you. Take care
 merkitty
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 202
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/3/2008 5:48:58 PM
ISHTAR hit the nail on the head! I would question why people can't manage to stay married and why they procreate as if the human race is going extinct.

There is something seriously wrong with a woman who has more than one ex husband, in my opinion, and if she doesn't think so, go ask her ex husbands
 ISHTAR38
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 203
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:27:23 PM
Same thing can be said about all those men who cry about how evil their ex-wives were. Makes you wonder?? There's always two sides to the story though. But, yet these people still think they're better than we are. Better at what?? I don't know.
 Audial Liaison
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 204
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/5/2008 9:38:21 PM
People can assume whatever they want to about me....they dont know me...and perhaps will never have that blessing.

Marriage? well i found a few that i did actually want to marry...but it didnt work out, im not afraid of the "M" word...i dropped it a couple times.

i want 1 person to share my life with...not a family..one treasure to cherish forever, and explore the world with me.

My goals and lifestyle is far too important to me to waste it on children....
id rather be spending my nights with my special someone with no distractions and plan weekday and weekend gettaways whenever...without even thinking of a babysitter...
 valla maldoran
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 205
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/6/2008 12:24:07 AM
I would dearly love to meet a man who has never been married and has no kids around my age. However the only thing available is divorced men with 3 or more kids. I guess you have to compromise whether you want to or not. Maybe if they are all over 18 and out of the house it would be ok.
 Hominidae
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 206
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:02:55 PM
It means they were never married and have 0 kids that you know about. The person is probably undesirable as a mate because women are very crafty and they can always make a guy a daddy when they want to. If none did, then there is a good reason.
 valla maldoran
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 207
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:08:37 PM
women are very crafty and they can always make a guy a daddy when they want to. If none did, then there is a good reason.



Yeah like we were smart enough to figure out how to use birth control and to not bring children into this world who we don't want. You see i was smart enough to figure out long ago that making a guy a daddy would make me a mommy and to me that is an undesirable fate.
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 208
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/7/2008 5:29:31 AM
Yeah like we were smart enough to figure out how to use birth control and to not bring children into this world who we don't want. You see i was smart enough to figure out long ago that making a guy a daddy would make me a mommy and to me that is an undesirable fate.


^^^ agree totally!

Being raised in a single parent household and watching my mother struggle for 17 years working 2 jobs and raising 3 kids made me not want to ever get in that situation, ever. I was lucky enough AND smart enough to read the directions on my birth control to know to take them every - single - day. Trap some guy into having a kid? Oh hell no. Never did hear the ol time clock ticking with me,,,,never had the urge to have any kids at all. Id love to find a man with no kids, but at this age,, most have been there done that and i can accept that.
 merkitty
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 209
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/9/2008 6:46:55 PM
I hear ya ripley,

There are also men who only like women they get pregnant and then dump them when the kid is 2, Seen it first hand. The men end up with 6 babys mommas and don't pay a lick. My motto, unprotected sex is for the stupid!!!
 sjenner
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 210
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/10/2008 3:28:40 PM
No kids and over 30 does not bother me as I am in this boat as I have not met the right person for me yet. Work makes it tough to meet women for guys and I am not big on bars.
 TampaViaChicagoF
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 211
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/15/2008 12:36:24 PM
"You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?"

Maybe I'm reading this wrong but it seems to imply *negative* 'assumptions'. I actually look at in a positive way ----maybe goal- or career-oriented in his twenties, less drama w no kids/ex-wives, more time to spend with whoever he is dating, maybe a little extra money....if things progress, a chance to build a family together- both as first timers...

I don't know why there is such a stigma on here for being 30, never married, & no kids. It seems to be more the norm nowadays really.
 bowielover
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 212
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/15/2008 2:23:19 PM
"Do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?"-OP

Why don't you just ask him where he's coming from? It might surprise you. If it's an interesting profile (as you mentioned) then what can it hurt?

As for assumptions...I wouldn't. You might miss out on someone really fantastic. BEST OF LUCK!
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 213
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:52:38 PM
Yes, I would be cautious. Certainly I bet there are decent men who never got attached in a marriage nor had kids by age 30, but I would say it's probably more rare than not. If you've been that isolated, then what's the chance you've developed yourself? Also the insecurities that almost certainly would evolve such a loner life, could have totally wrecked havoc. Just proceed with caution is all I say.
 merkitty
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 214
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:14:47 AM
I personally am looking for the never married no kid having guy but in my recent experience, even the single of the singles have issues.

I guess I'll just keep peeking around every corner until I find one who isn't a weirdo.
 CurveyPrincess
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 215
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:23:42 PM
I am 37, never been married and have NO kids... I have lived a very full life, traveled all over the world, had awesome careers, lived in many different states, and could buy whatever I wanted.... Could I had been married? YES, had been engaged in my 20's ... But I wanted more at that time in my life, then to settle and have a family... I have always been adventures and I knew what marriage details, and I was not ready for that at that time in my life... Do I regret not being married or having kids at this age? No, because its the choice I made for me.. I want to make sure its what I want... I don't want to sow wild oats in my 40's, so I did all that in my 20's and 30's.... Best advice I was ever given, " YOU HAVE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO BE MARRIED, SO ENJOY THE SINGLE LIFE, AND DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO WHILE YOU ARE STILL SINGLE , THEN WHEN YOU HAVE DONE ALL YOU WANTED ALONE, YOU WILL FIND ITS TIME TO MARRY! THEN YOU CAN DEDICATE YOUR TIME TO THAT ERA OF YOUR LIFE!"
Of course I want to fall in love and be married and have a family... But I just have never found that someone I cant live without! And until I do, I will keep enjoying the single life I live... Because it does have some good points to it, even at 37!
*Anyone can be married, its a choice we all make! Just some of us said NO, because we knew it was the wrong time in our lives... Does that make me ugly, not good with sex, or unlikable? NO! Just means I know who I am, and I know what I want.. and I respect myself to much to get into something just because the culture says its the thing to do... So dont judge a book by the title, you just might miss the best partner in life! There is reasons to all we do... Even if I am always called the "smart" one by my married friends! They too could had been, but they chose to be married! See its all choices we make!

 moundpuppy
Joined: 1/27/2005
Msg: 216
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:40:26 PM
out of all the replies I have read in this thread I have to say yours has by far been the best one to date curveyprincess. I have to agree that we all make choices throughout our lives and some are questionable at the time we make them. Some are just down right dumb with the way we come to the decision on how we make it. but no matter what we have to live with what is dealt and what we decide that is best for us. we may find we have made the wrong decision but we also know that we have placed ourselves in that spot and carry on and get past it. no sense in living in what has come and gone just time to face a new horizon and keep on trucking. It all intells learning by what choices we have made and how we accept them. at the time they were the right decision and no matter what from that one point and time it will always have been the right decision made. I also as stated before have never been married and no kids (at least to my knowledge) and along the time I have learned I was by far better off from it. Not that I don't like kids and by no means am I afraid of commitment or marriage. Just been busy with other things and going thru life making sure things are as I want them for me before I allow myself to allow myself to settle down and commit to just one for I am one that believes that when I make that step it is for a final step. and yes I know that is not being realistic but I just won't make that step unless I am sure completely. Then there is only two things to watch out for 1 (heaven help me) 2 (heaven help my pocket) all joking aside when I commit it will be totally.

Moundpuppy
 Bender1972
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 217
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:46:23 PM
I hope that the assumptions being made aren't too harsh!

I know why I didn't have any kids or get married before now... I haven't found the "Right" gal...

Or rather she saw me and ran away too quickly!
 Bender1972
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 218
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:48:15 PM
Of course, that said...

I want to get married and start a family before 40...
 xoxford
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 219
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:10:05 AM
Greetings all;

Just wanted to throw in my two bits, and in doing so, would like to express my gratitude to all of the responsible progenitors amongst us. The world is not overpopulated, just disproportionately so! To all the good parents out there, I would like to offer my commendation for what it's worth, and to thank you for making the penultimate sacrifice.

My own folks did not have me, their only child, until they were well into their thirties. They're still married and seem to spend most of their free time together, and I should add that I've given them as much grief as six kids would!

Though I have no children of my own, my friend's kids really like me. Perhaps it's because I'm still somewhat of a kid myself?

Maybe my never getting married has something to do with the fact that I've never earned more than $28000 in a fiscal year and have never had a credit card or held a job for longer than seven months...fear of commitment anyone?

Sure the single life can be painfully lonely at times, but it's not so bad being young, arguably good-looking, debt/kid free, and attending a local college. I have the freedom to pursue my interests and entertain my lunatic friends on any given night until the wee hours of the morning in a responsible thirty-one year old way.

"Honey, you don't mind if I leave my guitar amplifier in the bath tub all day to achieve a unique sound on my demo recording, do you? Oh yeah, and by the way, Joey and Billy Boy are coming by later to get loud and belligerently drunk, okay?"
 jdblue-eyed
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 220
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:23:07 PM
Likewise, I am not married and I don't have children yet. But, I am ready to find someone who will love me for me. We'll just have to see where things go from here that's why I am on PoF.
We all make choices sometimes they are good and other times we hopefully learn from our mistakes.

Assumptions are like Expectations....they get you Nowhere.
To Kill A Mockingbird...one thing I learned from reading this book,
put on someone's shoes for the day and walk around in them before jumping to any conclusions. I keep that close to my heart.
Please try not to get so caught up in such minor details...
 life_of_leisure
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 221
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Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:08:30 PM

Best advice I was ever given, " YOU HAVE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO BE MARRIED, SO ENJOY THE SINGLE LIFE, AND DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN DO WHILE YOU ARE STILL SINGLE , THEN WHEN YOU HAVE DONE ALL YOU WANTED ALONE, YOU WILL FIND ITS TIME TO MARRY! THEN YOU CAN DEDICATE YOUR TIME TO THAT ERA OF YOUR LIFE!"

Really bad advice for a woman IMO if having children is part of the plan. John Ross says it about as good as anyone (though he pretty much restricts himself to just the career aspects), so rather than recreate his argument I'll merely cut-n-paste...

There's been a fair amount of discussion on "career women," and the value of educating our daughters so that they can succeed in the fields that were once populated only by men. I don't fall into the "Women should just stay home and have babies" camp, because a woman shouldn't do that if she doesn't want to. I have no problem at all with women who want to climb the corporate ladder, pursue careers in traditionally male fields, etc.

I also agree with something a woman friend said in a discussion of men and women, that an intelligent and educated woman is a better choice for a wife, both for the genes that she splits with her husband and passes along to their children, as well as being a more interesting mate to talk to and be with.

What I see as the fundamental problem with women pursuing careers is the near-universal assumption these women make: That they will be able to "pencil in" a suitable husband at whatever point that they decide it's time to marry and have kids. That is a very dangerous assumption, because it's seldom true, and I'll explain why.

Rest of the essay: forum.rocsaut.org/topic_show.cgi?id=9896
 CurveyPrincess
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 222
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:01:06 PM
LIFE OF LEISURE, my comment that I made, Doesn't mean you have to hold out, until you are too old to have kids....
Just means that you should seek out your selfish desires before tying the knot...
Once married, LIFE is not about "ME", but its about the other person that you are now
with... and to be selfish in marriage is to only drain the relationship...
It takes two people giving to each other, to make a good "marriage"....
So while you are single, DO WHAT YOU ENJOY and WHAT YOU WANT...
So when you do marry, you are ready to give it all you got!
 SummerDayze
Joined: 4/20/2008
Msg: 223
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:16:30 PM
Neither... It's a personal choice.
Utopia doesn't appeal to me. I love the power of choice and respect it.
I do wonder if their would be compatibility if one has children and the other does not want "their own?" children. Shrug, love has a funny way...
 Ur Xoxo
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 224
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/4/2008 12:40:21 AM

I do wonder if their would be compatibility if one has children and the other does not want "their own?" children. Shrug, love has a funny way...


I've never been neither a husband or father, legally speaking. Although in one instance I lived with a lady who had a son, for three years. That is longer than many marriages.

Any-who, that romantic liaison thought me many lessons of triangular relationships... the good, the bad and the ugly.

The next LTR was thirteen years of both of us neck deep in self indulgences. (read~wet bed sheets)

I prefer the later, even though it was more expensive on water, electricity, soap, candles, lubrication, the after the fact shared cigarette followed by mouthwash.

The glowing female form in candlelight,
is now only a distant memory.
Ur Xoxo.
 1countryboy73
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 225
Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:44:23 AM
I have not married or had children honestly because I have not meet the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with.There are alot of people in society that have alot of emotional walls and have been hurt or abused to the point that they have a hard time loving again.I am a victom of sercomstance!
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