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 rybread77
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 4
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Wheelchairs dating and sexPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I'm a C-5 Quad with a little bit of C6 sparing on my right side, but not quite enough to use my hand properly. As far as why I can't drive, I'm just incapable of getting into my van by myself and I can't afford to get the driving controls that I would need to be able to drive. I'm currently pushing a manual chair but will be switching to a power chair later this Summer when I start school up so that I can be more independent in getting around the university.
I'm not really in a huge hurry to have sex, but a cuddling and kissing partner would be great (putting lipstick on my hand just doesn't do it anymore, and I feel weird never having an answer for when people ask me who gave me that hickey). And for what I can't use and control below my waistline, I'm sure I make up for in other places. In all but two times that I've asked to go out on a date, I've been rejected. And I never know what to put what I'm contacting someone threw a dating site. Maybe someone can give me some pointers on that. If you have any great ideas, or even just okay ideas, let me know.
(This is what I want to happen: )
 rybread77
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 5
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Wheelchairs dating and sex
Posted: 5/21/2007 3:57:17 PM

Are there ways you can learn to be more independant? Or is it the type of injury that you have?

Unfortunately due to the level of my injury I do need caregivers to help me get out of bed and help me with some daily living activities. I really don't have any finger dexterity, except for a little bit of grasp on my right hand which isn't very effective unless something is sized just right, and I just don't have enough function to transfer myself (except for when it comes to laying down on the floor, or the asphalt outside. I got a cool scar from not one, 110° outside, who knows how hot the asphalt was). Those are my limitations, but I try to keep those private when I meet people, although the last girl I dated had no problem with getting me out of bed and going out. I messed it up with her because I went on a medication that, to put it bluntly, made me a****and extremely forgetful, but I'm no longer on the medication. But it happened again today where I had a great conversation with a girl and I was making her laugh, but I didn't have the guts to ask her out. I guess I just have to get over that and start doing it.
 miss_tea00
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 6
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Wheelchairs dating and sex
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:16:39 AM
I think humor is definitely our best asset! I've been in a chair since I was 10 from an unknown muscular condition like MD. Without humor, damn, I'd hate to think what life would be like.

I've just found accepting me for me and knowing I have a lot of great things to offer someone else helps immensely. Being honest, funny, and self-accepting are the first steps to letting others see who we really are!

I hope everything is going well for you!
 miss_tea00
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 7
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Wheelchairs dating and sex
Posted: 7/15/2007 5:36:51 PM
I think a forum should be opened for us too. I don't hear much about dating or marriage success stories involving the disabled, also dating tips, resources, etc. I know the info is out there, as I have found some. It just would be nice to have a place here! Not everyone with a disability would need it, but it'd be helpful for those that may be inexperienced!
 Lolliejane1
Joined: 5/17/2007
Msg: 8
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Wheelchairs dating and sex
Posted: 7/15/2007 9:23:03 PM
Alot of people say they would be okay with it but when faced with the situation will change their minds. I have had to deal with taking care of my mother for the last 9 years and it truly is a life changing experience. I would hope that if the situation were to present itself to me I could look past it. I would be open to dating someone in a wheelchair though. You do have a great sense of humor.......loved your profile.....you just be a little more brave and go after someone if you want them. You have just as much chance at love as anyone else on here. Good luck to you sir!
 guyot
Joined: 5/6/2008
Msg: 9
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Wheelchairs dating and sex
Posted: 3/9/2009 8:17:04 AM
I have had relationships with women with physical differences and disabilities.

In college I had a terrific relationship with a woman in a wheelchair who had severe congenital disabilities. Honestly, it did take some time to work out how to be sexually active in ways that pleased us both, but the outcome was a rich and satisfying sexual and emotional relationship. It took some attention to detail, mutual learning, and a few false starts, but the process of working things out itself was fun and full of laughs. I remember it as being one of the best periods of my life. It helped that she was confident in her own sexuality and that she simply assumed that I would be undaunted.

I wish one and all the relationships you seek.

-Gray
 rybread77
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 10
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Wheelchairs dating and sex
Posted: 3/27/2009 4:28:02 PM
Thank you everyone for your advice. Earlier this year, I met a woman on MySpace who spent a couple of weekends here. Holy cow was she a screamer and there was no actual sex involved, just the oral stuff. LOL. She claimed I was an excellent kisser and a fantastic lover. Unfortunately, she lives down in Tucson and has met someone else a little more like her. She was a little bit heavier than any girl I've ever dated before and had very little education, but I didn't really let that get to me because she was so sweet. Unfortunately, we didn't get to do a whole lot more because I'm currently on bed rest and I'm not supposed to be up for very long. Damn pressure sores have had me cursed for a little while now. I'm now talking to a girl that lives in New Jersey and is very interested in me. It even looks like she'll be moving out to Phoenix relatively soon, although she's not exactly sure when yet, but I'm really looking forward to it. She is a total hottie and has an excellent career in law enforcement.
After this sore gets all healed up, I'll be getting into a power chair a full-time (well almost) and getting some driving lessons. Hopefully I'll be able to get some driving controls for my van and they now have the freedom to go places whenever I want and going on dates will be easy, as long as I'm home by the time my caregiver gets here.
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