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 citronella
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 285
Depression and suicidePage 12 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
hi,depression! well, i have to say, there are differant types,of depression, loads of us feel low, depressed at times!, but cna normally ovecome it, but clinical depression i belive, can be ongoing, may need medication, counseling, thro mental health teams, elsewhere, i feel for you, as its so hard to understand! as when one has a broken leg, etc, one can see, but depression, is so hard difficult, traumatic! for the person, sometime caused by a chemical, imbalance of the brain! i got married, 6 months later my husband committed suicide! he was only 47, i wasnt aware, till the inquest, he had suffered with depressin long before he met me! he was always so much fun! the irony of it all 3 months earlier, i found out my only son has acute myelod lukimea! i wasnt angry with my husband, just sad, he masked his feelings so well, from me! the thing is as well, mental health issues and deperssion, take sometimes, forever to get someone on the right medication! to get the balance right, so they can lead a better qualaity life! what makes, it harder for me i look after my grown up daughter, and grandson who are both mentally ill, so one would have thought, i would have been clued up about my late husband! but no one knows, really, understands the mind of mentally ill, people, and those who suffer with depression! its easy for people to judge! and say nothing is worth taking your own life! but its a chemical imbalance in my opinion, when 1 is so low depressed lonly, its difficult for one to understand! the torment they must be suffering? but i urge you to continue, to seek help via doctors, mental health team! after many yrs, my daughter and grandson tho on medicatin, have come thro some very dark times! and have a better quality of life now! going places, thye never thought woud happen, all i can wish you is peace, love, please, continue to see your doctor, im sure in time things will come right for you again! takes time! hugs citronella x
 wantfun4us2
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 286
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:05:00 AM
Man, this is really depressing, there is no answer in ending it man, hang in there, things will always get better even if they get worse first.....and remember, this is no bullshit even though it is one of those old sayings, what really hurts us DOES make us stronger....peace bro....
 drumsafrican
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 287
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:19:41 PM
Why are you even asking these questions? I am alarmed! If you are feeling that depressed and thinking suicidal thoughts, please get some immediate professional help from your family doctor and/or a psychotherapist or counsellor! Judith
 tingle28
Joined: 9/24/2007
Msg: 288
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/16/2008 6:54:22 AM
drumsafrican i know you mean well but alot of the time g.p's just give you pills not proper help and you have to wait to see a shrienk thqat's why some people only see this as a option
 freddee Smith
Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 289
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/19/2008 2:26:52 PM
I recently attempted suicide. It was a well planned out event, unfortunately I made two mistakes. One, I decided not to jump from the top of the hotel because I didn't want to ruin anyone’s vacation (yes I am considerate even when suicidal). Two, I miscalculated how quickly people would be able to figure out where I was (three times zones away from where anyone expected me to be). If the "rescuers" had been 1-2 minutes later I would be worm food.

I spent a week in a treatment facility on a legal hold and was finally discharged. My discharge was quite unusual in that my doctor and therapist didn't want to be responsible for my release (or for keeping me since they could not see how they could help). So I got to go to Mental Health Court, where the opening statement of one of the court doctors was "He planned his trip to ***** with the intent of suicide. I believe he is still an extreme risk of suicide..." this is when the other doctor interrupted "I agree completely". They recommended that I continue to be held, but also stated that from my file they did not believe treatment would be beneficial. So since the court doctors/judge did not want to be responsible for letting me out (or keeping me) and they didn't want to make the treatment center responsible, so they required my father to sign for me, thereby making my release his responsibility.

Since then I have met with two other doctors/therapists and both have had basically the same opinion. That only I or God can help me.

My suicide is not driven by depression. It is driven by my beliefs. I vowed "till death do us part" and I also do not believe that an adult should be a drain on their society. Furthermore, when an adult becomes a drain on their society they have a clear responsibility to remedy the situation quickly. Do to current life circumstances I have gotten aid from many, many friends and family. Some of which really shouldn't (couldn't) afford it. I know when I will no longer be a drain but, the timeline is well outside what I consider acceptable.

The only time I am at peace with myself and feel like my normal self is when I have a clear well thought-out action plan for suicide that I am currently following.
 shelbysmom
Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 290
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/19/2008 6:30:32 PM
You are responsible for your happiness. As long as you wait for someone else to give it to you, you will never have it.

Those words are soooooo true and I know because Ive been expecting people to make me happy for a very long time. In October I took a bunch of pills and the man I thought loved me waited for 13 hours before he called for help, when I asked him why he didn't wait longer he told me I wasn't dying quick enough and he had better things to do that day. Dave is right you are responsible for your happiness, tell your family doctor how you are feeling, ask he/she to help you with meds, therapy whatever it takes, just don't do what I did it isn't the answer.

If you ever just want to chat please feel free to message me, Im a good listener.

Sending you Light and Hugs,

Debbie
 mtonkin222
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 291
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 3:18:36 AM
I'm depressed, lonely, and thinking of suicide. I haven't been successful in meeting someone and am ready to give up. I just cannot accept all the rejection I am facing and the pain of being lonely. There just isn't any hope for me and I would rather be dead than lonely! Does anybody have any ideas on how I can help myself feel better? I just can't handle being alone and rejected anymore.
 FireKnight
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 292
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:00:06 AM
Mtonkin first and foremost if you realize you are feeling this way and you are thinking of suicide then take the steps to get some help. I and hopefully others will give you some steps and ideas to move forward but there is NO shame in going and finding professional help.

Second you need to realize that you aren't alone, or rather not as alone as you think you are. One of the saddest truths about modern society is almost everyone is feeling dispossessed and seeking contact and communication at the least. What you most need to do is change your activity cycle so as to be out among people more often outside of "looking for a date" Join some classes on something you're intrested in or enjoy. As it turns out there are usually large numbers of women in these classes and few men. Go out to public events such as outdoor fairs, concerts, and plays.

Take time to enjoy who you are
 NERO1
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 293
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:23:00 AM
Around 14 or so I did. But I'm glad I didn't act on it.

I think some of it depends on what your personal & deepest views on any "afterlife" might be. I think a person who (like me) ultimately , if pressed to say, does NOT truly believe there is any type of conscious existence "after" (as much as I would like to think there were) may be less likely to actually be able to go through with the act. People who go through with it, to some extent, I think some of them may sincerely believe they are going to a "better place", etc. Or, that they are about to "be with" their dead loved ones for example.

In reality I'd be willing to bet my bottom dollar (a bet we could never find out who wins of course ) that it's just .......nothing. Like before you were born. You don't exist. And I'm not in any hurry to "let go" like that. I hope that when I do have to it's somehow quick and not some long drawn-out thing like one of my close family just went through.

The power of personal beliefs is crucial to this kind of thing one way or the other, I feel. Imagine for example a Hamas militant recruiter trying to get an agnostic or borderline atheist "cultural" Muslim w/no strong afterlife belief to strap on a suicide vest. Barring serious mental illness, it's not going to happen.

People who commit suicide in any way, I think probably nearly to a man are people who ought to have been or would have been viable "candidates" (if you will) for psych wards & hospitals -- long stays. Serious meds, ongoing therapies, etc etc. Combining that kind of illness, and it IS that, with certain types of religious beliefs about paradise , and / or reuniting with long-lost loved ones, etc etc, can be practically a recipe for making self-destruction seem like not such a big deal. Animals don't self-destruct; in fact they generally fight for life, even the smallest organisms like insects. Our larger and more elaborately wired brains allowing for abstract thought , the thing which makes us "us", can be a double-edged sword to us at times...
 NERO1
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 294
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:33:45 AM
QUOTE: I recently attempted suicide. It was a well planned out event, unfortunately I made two mistakes. One, I decided not to jump from the top of the hotel because I didn't want to ruin anyone’s vacation (yes I am considerate even when suicidal). Two, I miscalculated how quickly people would be able to figure out where I was (three times zones away from where anyone expected me to be). If the "rescuers" had been 1-2 minutes later I would be worm food.


>>>> You sound disturbingly "bound and determined" freddee smith. Some people plan them out like this for San Francisco, the Golden Gate, thinking it will be a sort of vaguely romantic way to go out. I don't think it is though, in reality. It takes approximately 4.3 seconds to hit the water from the side rail of that bridge and the human body falls at approximately 75 to 85 miles per hour. Thus striking the water is equivalent to a dump truck going that fast and suddenly slamming into a concrete wall. That's basically the impact. Bodies are mangled and broken when pulled out of the water a little while later , usually via large fish or crab hooks and placed onto the white tray for transport to the coroner's. If the jumper goes at night with no ID on him, he may never be found, his shattered body taken far out into the Pacific, more than likely shark food fairly quickly.

But, 4 seconds to end a life!! What a waste ! Think of the bald children in the cancer wards at the children's memorial hospitals , only 8 or 10 yrs old, who would probably give anything to have a relatively healthy body like you (probably) have and most of those SF and other suicides probably had as well. Waste indeed. Of course you don't care about waste, or other peoples' suffering, do you? Well, that's up to you. It's no bother to me or any other stranger if you do this. But if you say you only feel happy and "at peace" while actively planning out your own demise, then it doesn't sound like you can be talked out of it anyway. So "godspeed" then.
 NERO1
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 295
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:40:03 AM
QUOTE: I'm depressed, lonely, and thinking of suicide. I haven't been successful in meeting someone and am ready to give up. I just cannot accept all the rejection I am facing and the pain of being lonely. There just isn't any hope for me and I would rather be dead than lonely! Does anybody have any ideas on how I can help myself feel better? I just can't handle being alone and rejected anymore.

>>>> mtonkin, think of the reality of the act. The finality. Infinity. No more you. Ever. You're seriously contemplating this somehow primarily as a result of being upset about not "meeting someone"????? Or being "rejected" (by women presumably)??? Come on man!! Firstly grow a pair, as a man. Men are men, and you're sounding like a high school sophomore girl with a crush who's just been told "mr.right" doesn't want her. Where's your pride? Secondly, as I said seriously think of the reality of the act itself. What you will (literally) do to yourself. Look up pics of suicide victims online. Think if you have it in you to do that to your own body. It's so twisted, when you think about it. I've seen so many pics of suicides; it's one of the worst things to see. Dante called one whole circle of hell , "the dim forest of suicides". Of course I don't believe in a literal "hell" (except as certain states of mind and being right here on earth -- like what leads to suicide for example). But, I think , religious or not, there are still a few things that are worthy of being called "sin". One of them is doing something like that to yourself. Horrible horrible horrible. If you're serious, check yourself in somewhere for help; Emergency Room is a fair idea. Good luck w/that.
 *LoisLane*
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 296
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 12:45:23 PM
Mtonkin,

If you are seriously contemplating suicide for whatever reason -- it doesn't matter -- you should seek help and NOW! Please don't conduct any online research into it, as it may fuel your despair. It doesn't matter what gender you are, both genders are prone to feeling lonely and despondent. The only thing that may help you at this point, is to seek help from outside sources. I think every city has a suicide hotline. Call them, they are there to talk to you and help you. Through that channel you can get leads to the prolonged support you need.

We have all been there. We have all been rejected and abandoned but don't let that take your hope for better days to come. I pray you get some comforting advice from more people here. Please do seek out help.
 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 297
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 1:47:12 PM

Not a topic that many people even contemplate. But for some it starts looking like a good option.
While depression can strike for many reasons,



My Husband was my heart and soul....the day he died I also died.....it has been the hardest thing that I ever dealt with. It felt like someone had ripped my heart to pieces. There was no stopping him.......I lost everything I was stripped to the bones with nothing left inside myself for many years. My Daughter has struggled with a eating disorder..........the guilt the suviors feel are what they remember that person by. The happy memories are gone and replaced by a nightmare.
OP you say your lonely but this is mental illness. Depression is a very hard thing to deal with but it can be fought and won. You keep going to the Doctor you keep trying medications....there isn't a one fit all medication everyone is different. NAMI the National Association of the Mentally Ill can be a great source of help. I have had the privlege to meet many people that have battle this and won.......but they use all the resources they have to battle it. Family can be very important in helping you fight this battle. There are many many resources....but you have to fight back.
Your Brothers, Sisters, Mother, Father and Children will be at a increased risk for suicide and it increases up to 50 %........
My life is being put back together. I still have the guilt even through I know it wasn't my fault.......My Daughter and I have went to grief counseling for a long time. I am much stronger now.....changed.......not as free as I use to be.
Good luck..............Blue
 NERO1
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 298
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/7/2008 9:12:52 PM
Wow. Sorry to read that post blueyes. Brutal. I guess in a certain sense people who are perhaps beginning to contemplate it should also think this kind of post over, along with many other things... If they have any loved ones at all, in a sense it's almost like they'd kill them too. Part of them at least. Or pretty much ruin the rest of those survivors' lives, that's for sure....
 ~Hello~
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 299
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/22/2008 8:53:34 AM

It is important to really listen to someone who says they want to hurt themselves. Most suicides are a method to try to end the pain. Many times the pain comes from lonliness and isolation.

You can still feel isolated if you have people around you, but one way to make a person feel less isolated and alone is to listen. Ask them why they feel the way they do, how long they felt like this, and really listen let them talk if they will. This alone will help a lot. Then after you have done that, you may offer to help them find professional support, and another important thing is to check up on the person. Call them every once in a while and make sure things are going okay. If they need to talk again then again it is important that you listen and offer your support. Advise is what may seem natural for you to give but your listening and your support is way more important.


As one who has and does struggle with this issue, the above post was .. to me .. the very best advice yet ... at least to those who are dealing with someone who is struggling.

to say "it always gets better" is b.s. - no it doesn't "Always" get better
There are those who have attempted suicide only to fail at 'even' that.. There are soooo many walking wounded in our society .. some are addicted .. some are on "character inhibiting" meds .. some are faking it - for Your comfort.

The post above (sorry I forgot to make note of who posted it) .. LISTEN .. sometimes being Heard - without being given advice, without being told to "snap out of it" .. without being told "it'll get better" or "there's always someone worse" .. Just LISTEN. Most people don't or can't listen to the hard stuff without interrupting or running away .. Too many people think that the person who talks about suicide is just looking for attention .. Maybe they are! And what would be wrong with giving a little time and attention to someone who is in so much emotional pain that they feel the only way to lessen that pain may be through ending their life?
There have been too many suicides .. too many people who have screamed they want to die, too many who think they're "bluffing" .. and so they prove they meant what they said ..
If you can't imagine the pain that takes a person to that deep dark place, please don't judge those who know that darkness - it certainly doesn't help.

LISTEN .. just shut up and listen.

A.S.is

My cousin shot himself .. my "family" said they didn't understand why he was dead and I was still alive .. they were there for him...
A young man hung himself just a couple weeks ago .. he'd been talking about it for weeks before .. they told him to "snap out of it" .. so he did.

People kill themselves all the time, for many reasons ... The one thing that MIGHT help is if someone just Listened.

I'd like to thank the person who made the post I quoted .. sorry I didn't make note of your nic... Thanks
 dream on Dave
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 300
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:07:41 AM
Thought of it .Planed it like tommorow. Not a cry for help no going back. Hospitalised on that day for a considerable time. Fate who knows never very far away. A solitaty life isnt an option.
 jameshillman63
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 301
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/24/2008 1:39:23 AM
Lonliness is a permanent problem. It does not matter how much we put ourselves out there it always ends in rejection. If we are supposed to go through life happy that we are single then those that are tellings us to suck it up, things will get better, it will happen when you least expect it, and the ever popular be happy that you are single, do not know squat about how we are feeling. I can hide my depression from those I come in contact with but at the end of the day, when I am sitting alone in my bedroom watching the tv, checking my empty email box, and just wondering why it is that not one woman that I find attractive wants the slightest bit of contact from me, that bout of depression just gets that little bit worse, and I start thinking how suicide would be a better alternative then living alone. I find that a permanent problem deserves a permanent solution and you all may say get help, but let me tell you, you do not know me, and those that you spring your advise on, you do not know them either so you can not tell them that their life is going to change because you do not know if it will or not. Live for your kids, yea I will buy into that, but when they are fully capable of caring for themselves and do not need us around what are we supposed to do then? become outcasts of society and just work and stay in our home with nowhere to go? No I did not bring this upon myself and I strive to change but to inevitability I will have to face what my future will be. Right?
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 302
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/24/2008 2:19:29 AM
James... The problem that seems to be compounding itself for you has a number of sides but the primary one is that you are not getting back into the mainstream of life. Why do you go home and sit watching t.v. when there are so many worthwhile things you could be doing? If you're not into sports or fitness, there are 100's of causes that are desperate for volunteers. Surely there are some that fit an area of interest to you? The one thing you can know for sure is that there are going to be very few knocks on your door by women who might be interested in a relationship so it is up to you to take the bull by the horns and get yourself back into life.

The more you sit in your room and wait for some e-mail on sites like this one, the more myopic your vision will become. I am not currently looking to add a relationship to my life but if I was, I certainly wouldn't sit staring at the computer screen in the hope that someone would notice me.

I don't know how old your children are but you must know that how you handle life's disappointents is teaching them how to handle them as well? Once we have people who love us in our lives (regardless of whether it's a girlfriend or a child) our lives are no longer our own to take...

Suicide does not end the loneliness or the pain. It does not provide the "relief" most people considering suicide are hoping for. If you truly want your world to change and want relief from your loneliness, get back into the world instead of sitting in your room hoping that someone who cares will suddenly appear. No one wants to be an "outcast of society" so quit treating yourself as though you are.
 kane stays
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 303
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/24/2008 2:44:37 AM
My brother attempted suicide at 16. We were both adopted at ages 4 and 5. My adopted parents were only going to adopt a girl at first,my biological mother said,why don't you take that boy too. My brother over heard that remark. For years he felt unwanted,like a buy one get one free deal. The pain of being thrown away by ones own parents and thinking even the adoptive ones didn't really want you almost pushed him over the edge.I am so thankful we found him in time. He has always been my hero.
 shaddup
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 304
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:46:03 AM
Just how many here have become depressed over loneliness, and how many have actually thought of suicide?

I've had my plan in place for over 10 yrs.

Recently, in the last 6 mths Ive decided how Im gonna do it.

Ive still got about 7 yrs before I can. Then Im outta here.

Nothing to do with depression. Its a choice I've made.
 bexiblue
Joined: 7/7/2007
Msg: 305
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:19:13 AM
I have had a friend staying recently who tried to kill himself over a girl he was with after she dumped him.

I honestly think its pretty pathetic to try and kill yourself over a broken heart and very bloody selfish too.

I do understand that people get depressed, as part of a health condition i have i suffer with depression and i am on alot of occasions very lonely but i have forced myself to do something about it. Its not easy but the only person who is responsible for my feelings is me. To kill yourself over being lonely, to me, shows weakness.

I am sorry if this offends anyone who has been in that position but its truely how i feel.
 dream on Dave
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 306
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/25/2008 12:04:31 PM
I really dont think its a question of strength or weakness . Its facing up to an an almost certain future alone. The older the harder often wondering if your not going a bit crazy. I have seen a few people drop over that edge. Maybe jump before your pushed at least thats your decision. Some poor people dont have that option.
 shrekalike
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 307
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/25/2008 4:31:44 PM
James I have put a piece on the other thread about suicides page 51. I used to bottle everything up and it didn't do me much good. I understand where you are coming from, as I have some serious swings into depression. I found myself telling women, after I we had met a few times, all about my problem, some where understanding but most weren't and of course they thought they had a loon on their hands.

I don't know where you are from but if you want to chat by all means please do so. Its when you get an understanding and empathy you automatically feel better, I know I. Just don't bottle up and suffer in silence.do.
 pabak
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 308
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:23:39 PM
Been there, done that friend. But maybe not to that extreme. I've had two happenings that ride to the top of the depression/suicidal chart in the past year. First my companion of 30 years and wife of 28 left me for an online romance, whom she moved in with 3 weeks after meeting, got engaged too two weeks later and married less than 7 weeks after their first "date."
As if that wasn't enough my two children (21 and 17) begged me to get the house in the divorce and keep them in it. They didn't talk with their mother for 2 months, but met with her a week before the three of us were to move to a new house. Three days before the move, they informed me I was "no longer welcome to move with them."
Now they call the piece of garbage they've "known" for a month their "dad" and want no communication with me whatsoever.
I banged my head against the wall trying to save my marriage for the first three months... enduring a daily 50/50 battle between suicide and insanity. Didn't eat or sleep for three weeks. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel.
Not to be a "bible thumper" because I'm not... my conversations with God are not in a church, they're in my car on the way to and way back from work. But I DO believe in God and begged him 24 around the clock to flick the devil off of my shoulder.
I had to learn a very valuable lesson the hard way. In my belief, God DOES answer prayers... just NOT in the "time frame" you would like him to and NOT in the "way" that you feel is best for you.
I begged him to help save my marriage, but he decided that she was not good enough for me and wanted me to embark on life without her. I begged him to "correct" or "cure" me ASAP, but he chose to stretch it out... seeking to build a stronger relationship with me in the process.
I've always believed that the greatest challenge in life is to face adversity head on...and channel it into something positive. But for the life of me I could see no good coming from this. I write and deliver stand up comedy on a regular basis and once my 3-4 month "writer's block" ended... I received more solid funny material than I could ever envision. I have to admit telling jokes about the "whore I was married to for 28 years" is a bit theraputic as well and well received.

To tell you the truth being on these on line dating sites for the past 6 months has been depressing in itself. Whether it's because I'm 50, have a few too many pounds or because I don't look like a male model or movie star, I can't buy a date. For every 100 messages I send out, I'm extremely lucky if there are 2 responses.

I could care less what happens to the ex-**** and her new hubby... I wouldn't lose any sleep if a semi hit them dead on. The thing with the kids hurts and will always hurt, but I'm not going to stoop to their mother's level and try to buy their affection.

So that leaves me with myself and the friends and relatives who DO love me, but just didn't know how to get me through the darkest hours.

It's looking more and more like I will live alone for the rest of my life.... hard to meet someone when they won't even respond to a complimentary message.

But as long as I live my life in a way that makes God, my friends, my relatives, my co-workers and myself proud, that's okay. Frankly these women don't know what they're missing. No... I'm not Brad Pitt, but I have a never ending supply of love, devotion and old fashioned morals and values that could never leave them wanting again... and searching for something that they're not finding.

I firmly believe that each of us has been given the gift of life on Earth for a reason. I believe mine was to bring people more joy in their lives via comedy. You need to find your reason and exploit it. We all have different talents... some of us just don't take the time to explore them.

In closing, buy yourself a dog. That might sound to simplistic, but when you have something else depending on you, you tend to feel a better sense of worth.

A much better life awaits you...both on the Earth and beyond... but you must exercise patience. Folding your tent and hanging it all up is far too easy... challenge yourself.
 redneck9407
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 309
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:33:03 PM
I am as well a cutter and as well suicidal. I have been fighting the urges since i was 10 years old. There has been times I have attempted and failed... Almost to a point I want to believe that I am invincible because of the things i have done to my body. Now, I'm not going to give any excuses or anything like that but i have to agree with what james said. When you have myspace or your on this and you have no mail for days on end. No matter what people say it hurts. Makes you feel as though your not worth the air you breath, not worth the food you eat, not worth the space you take up. Personally, i absolutely hate it when someone tells me or someone else that is as depressed as you would have to contemplate the idea of killing yourself, Suck it up, be a man. That is the worst things you could tell someone that is in that situation even if you say "suck it up everything will get better". The best thing anyone has ever told me was after i lost my fiance, my father told me that you have to look at the big picture and in it this is only a little small part. Talking to someone does help...but only for a short amount of time. Sometimes it doesn't help at all it makes it worse by getting all of the thoughts really running through there head. Main thing is...if someone you know is like that don't leave them until they are smiling and laughing and there over it. Even if they tell you to. Surprisingly the people that are a cutter or suicidal are the people you would least expect it. We are some of the best actors you will ever see.
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