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 forever_live_and_die
Joined: 6/6/2017
Msg: 614
Depression and suicidePage 31 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
^^^^
I guess you're not aware of it. They did a study and discovered bridges are a gateway to porn
 forever_live_and_die
Joined: 6/6/2017
Msg: 615
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/11/2017 12:20:24 AM
butterchickenchuck 747

I'm curious why you think I'm being an ass hole ?


I don't really think you're an asshole. It was a reactionary thing due to your nonsensical post because this topic has been a part of my life for a long time.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 616
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/28/2017 1:45:56 AM
delete because of bad decision
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 617
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History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/28/2017 9:41:47 AM
Basilisk, are you okay?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 618
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/28/2017 2:02:19 PM
Hey Basilisk - what's going on my friend
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 619
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/29/2017 1:15:50 AM
Some stuff happened, and I am currently seeing a shrink again. I had some major drama, I snapped, and I almost did something I couldn't take back. Now I am trying to deal with the aftermath, and picking up the pieces of me. The last post contained more detail, but I thought it would be better to discuss things with my therapist first. My head is just a jumble of emotions right now, I don't really know were one ends and another begins.
 MsSkeezix
Joined: 7/1/2017
Msg: 620
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/29/2017 4:32:15 AM
basilisk123---
I almost did something I couldn't take back.


Focus on the very important fact that you DID NOT DO the thing you could not take back. That's a good thing.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 621
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/29/2017 5:44:25 AM
^^^ yes
See you didn't do it, means you are aware.. so no you didn't snap. Bent too far perhaps but
Be gentle on yourself today, get outdoors, appreciate all the shades of green
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 622
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History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/1/2018 9:55:31 PM
Well that wraps up a rather shitty year. As this new year starts, I have no hope that anything will get better. I find myself hoping that this year will be the last one where I am alive. I can't even think of living for another year like this. I hope it is over soon.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 623
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History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/2/2018 2:48:10 PM
B

I'm not sure there is anything one can say to relieve the depair and suffering you seem to struggle with....

I will keep you in my thoughts (loving kindness) for the next while....
https://jackkornfield.com/meditation-on-lovingkindness/

I hope that you can hang in long enough to see ......
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 624
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History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/5/2018 7:19:42 AM
Thank you, a few days came and went and I feel alittle better. I still have the same suicidal ideations, but they're not as intense. They tend to get bad during during the holidays and valentines day. Money problems are getting to me now as well. I am under a lot of stress and have no one close enough to talk to. I am almost done with this phase of school. I will have an associate degree in English. I am thinking about going back to get one in computer science too, while going to a university for my bachelor degree in English. It is going to be very hard for me to deal with all this.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 625
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History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/8/2018 4:12:38 AM
Basil, I hope you're seeing someone for your depression. It's definitely bad enough to warrant it, and to need medication to keep from doing something rash. You know these thoughts you have are based on your chemical imbalance, otherwise you would be able to handle your problems a little more with ease.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 626
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History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/10/2018 5:40:54 PM

Well that wraps up a rather shitty year. As this new year starts, I have no hope that anything will get better. I find myself hoping that this year will be the last one where I am alive. I can't even think of living for another year like this. I hope it is over soon.


I'm sure you have heard it all....
Life gets better.
There's always tomorrow.
Nothing can be that bad.
Selfish to do such a thing.
ECT.....

I'm not going to lay any of those on you.
I'm the mother of a son that commented suicide.
My son showed no signs of his plan.
I understand why he did it. He went thru the loss
of his big brother.
My other son's girlfriend was murdered. He wanted
to go with her. Instead he went to drugs. He had a
daughter to live for, thank God she saved him.
I know I too wanted to go with my boys but I have
other children and family I have to consider.
It is a way out but it's the easy way.
Life is hard but worth the struggle.
Seek help please, think about those you leave behind.
All the best.
 forever_live_and_die
Joined: 10/3/2017
Msg: 627
Depression and suicide
Posted: 1/11/2018 12:57:13 PM
Basilisk for a man who suffers from depression is talking about suicide you sure have a lot of "hope." You use the word three times in your Jan. 2nd post.

I have no hope that anything will get better. I find myself hoping that this year will be the last one where I am alive. I hope it is over soon.

Do you realize that your use of the word "hope" in these sentences actually means you have" hope' despite the fact you feel none? You can't see it can you? It's simple, depression can be measured through words and actions. As you get sicker your depression will get stronger and eventually you'll roll it over in your mind and dance that mess around until the word "hope" changes to the word "know."

"I know nothing will ever get better. I know this year will be my last one. I know it will be over soon."

Sound familiar?


I am under a lot of stress and have no one close enough to talk to

When you say "close enough" it probably isn't distance so do you mean trust, understanding or something else? I would think that in all the time you've suffered from depression that you dealt with it mainly alone. You seem to be doing a decent job of it though since I'm reading your posts and not your obituary.


I am under a lot of stress and have no one close enough to talk to.

How much of your stress is imaginary? By that I mean accentuated by your illness making it seem worse than it really is.


It is going to be very hard for me to deal with all this.

It's always been hard for you to deal with but you've managed to prevail long enough to get past your 35th birthday and you're soon to be 36.

I have no hope that anything will get better.
I find myself hoping that this year will be the last one where I am alive.
I can't even think of living for another year like this.
I hope it is over soon.
I still have the same suicidal ideations,
Money problems are getting to me now as well.
I am under a lot of stress
I have no one close enough to talk to.
It is going to be very hard for me to deal with all this.
I am almost done with this phase of school. I will have an associate degree in English.
I am thinking about going back to get one in computer science too, while going to a university for my bachelor degree in English.
Money problems are getting to me now as well.
I am under a lot of stress
I still have the same suicidal ideations,
It is going to be very hard for me to deal with all this.
Money problems are getting to me now as well.
I have no hope that anything will get better.
I find myself hoping that this year will be the last one where I am alive.
I can't even think of living for another year like this.
I hope it is over soon.
I am thinking about going back to get one in computer science too,
Money problems are getting to me now as well.
It is going to be very hard for me to deal with all this.
I still have the same suicidal ideations,
I have no one close enough to talk to.
I can't even think of living for another year like this.
I'm lonely
I am under a lot of stress
Money problems are getting to me now as well.
I know things aren't going to get better
I am under a lot of stress
I'm finding it hard to deal with all this
I wish I had somebody to talk to
Now I have suicidal ideations.
The stress is getting to me
Money problems are getting to me now
I know things will never get better
I know this year will be my last
I know I won't live much longer
I know it will be over soon.
I have suicidal idealizations now
Well I'm not worried about money now
Funny how that stress melted away
I feel so alone.
I've decided how to deal with this.
Things will never get better.
It's time.

My but that's a lot of babbling when all I wanted to say is this.

Basilisk when that word "hope" changes into the word "know" it's time to get help otherwise I may be reading your obituary.
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