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 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 214
Depression and suicidePage 4 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)

My son is back from the war and suffers some PTSD. He is living with anticipatory grief and survivor's grief, and 40% hearing loss. He helped me alot with some of my sadness and hopelessness. Soldiers also commit suicide during wartime. Sometimes when they hear of tragedy and cheating spouses at home.


Smileee4u... I am recovering from PTSD and upon reading your post about your son, want to highly recommend his finding a therapist who practices EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing). It's simply amazing and it does work. PTSD that remains untreated doesn't go away or get better.

My understanding is that we all have 3 responses in moments of trauma - Fight, Flight or Freeze. The first two are self-explanatory but the third one is where PTSD comes from. When a person suddenly has reason to believe that their death is imminent, their brain "freezes" in that moment in time. Later on, should they be lucky enough to survive, the brain keeps reviving that moment (or those moments, as the case may be) and this is where the flashbacks, nightmares, depression and free-floating anxiety come from... It's damn awful but with EMDR, they have had a LOT of success... It is sure working for me! I am more at peace now than I have ever known and I feel so very blessed.

I hope you find this post...
 aspiring_angel
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 221
Depression and suicide
Posted: 11/16/2008 9:04:23 AM
Please, if you are considering suicide, get help.

My son committed suicide last month, just shy of his 22nd birthday. We had tried to get him help, had known that he had contemplated doing it. . . help is harder to come by than most people would believe.

I cannot describe the emptiness that his death causes me. I feel I will never again be the same. Please, don't do this to your own mothers, brothers and sisters.

As I sit here, a month later, the tears roll freely, just as they have since that day. I imagine they'll roll on forever.
 inetuse
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 223
Depression and suicide
Posted: 11/16/2008 9:55:11 PM
very selfish too

So is saving money for a holiday, rather than donating it to charity. It's selfish, but it's justifiably selfish.
The ones who use guilt tactics in order to coerce their loved ones into enduring years of emotional torment, are more selfish.

How can you expect every suicidal person to make the biggest sacrifice one can possibly make?
 kitcat1958
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 225
view profile
History
oh my
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:11:12 PM
I hope thats not what your thinking... Remember that you won't be leaving his or her ass but the ones that actually loves you. What about family. they will always be there for you, and you can't be that selfish
 sweetgirl8015
Joined: 11/25/2010
Msg: 230
Depression and suicide
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:18:41 PM
I am 25, and I have been depressed all my life because of lonliness. I never say the right things in social situations and as result scare people away. I have never had one friend in my life. I always just kind of preoccupied myself with school and working in early adolescnece. Now as an adult, it hits me even harder. It even harder to engage in social situations leaving me alone and lonely. I have spent so much time by myself , i really dont even know how to keep or make friends. I began thinking something is wrong with me, critiquing everything i did. When i try to venture and be social, i get negative comments back from others that insteals a sense of fear which prevents me froming puttting myself out their again. The social experiences i have are with men, and after every bitter break up, it makes me think something is terribly wrong with me, and hate my pathetic life.
Right now my best friend is my computer, and it sucks. I try to workout regularly to get out the house to feel better about myself, and it works for the most part. But alot of time i am so depressed i can't even get myself out of bed. My recent lay off from work and financial issues only worsen it. I finally broke down and contemplated suicide. I felt alone, and in a jail cell sort of speak.......i felt like whats the point of living if you are so unhappy. i dont think it is selfish. Thats like asking some one to die a slow painful death, because thats exactly how i feel like right now, like i just slowly waiting to die , slowly but painfully. Everyone is having fun and making the best out of life and i am just always crying ,upset, and depressed. I mean who would want to live like this? You would be crazy if you did. i dont expect you to understand, cuz most people dont understand me anyways, but i understand why people would want to kill themselves. The only reason i haven't done so yet, is because i am afraid of is on the other side, so i just continue to suffer.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 231
Depression and suicide
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:00:55 PM
Our lives should be ours to end when we please.It should not be up to the law and busybodies who have nothing better to do then stick their noses into other peoples lives.
 SouthBayNative
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 232
Depression and suicide
Posted: 12/11/2010 5:37:34 AM

I am 25, and I have been depressed all my life because of lonliness. I never say the right things in social situations and as result scare people away. I have never had one friend in my life. I always just kind of preoccupied myself with school and working in early adolescnece. Now as an adult, it hits me even harder. It even harder to engage in social situations leaving me alone and lonely. I have spent so much time by myself , i really dont even know how to keep or make friends. I began thinking something is wrong with me, critiquing everything i did. When i try to venture and be social, i get negative comments back from others that insteals a sense of fear which prevents me froming puttting myself out their again. The social experiences i have are with men, and after every bitter break up, it makes me think something is terribly wrong with me, and hate my pathetic life.
Right now my best friend is my computer, and it sucks. I try to workout regularly to get out the house to feel better about myself, and it works for the most part. But alot of time i am so depressed i can't even get myself out of bed. My recent lay off from work and financial issues only worsen it. I finally broke down and contemplated suicide. I felt alone, and in a jail cell sort of speak.......i felt like whats the point of living if you are so unhappy. i dont think it is selfish. Thats like asking some one to die a slow painful death, because thats exactly how i feel like right now, like i just slowly waiting to die , slowly but painfully. Everyone is having fun and making the best out of life and i am just always crying ,upset, and depressed. I mean who would want to live like this? You would be crazy if you did. i dont expect you to understand, cuz most people dont understand me anyways, but i understand why people would want to kill themselves. The only reason i haven't done so yet, is because i am afraid of is on the other side, so i just continue to suffer.

Maybe most people don't understand you but some of us do. You suffer from depression, some lifelong social problems and you had a series of terrible setbacks that would be unbearable alone much less in the greater context of your life. First of all, regardless of how it looks not everyone is having fun so don't bother comparing yourself to anyone. You have no idea how they feel inside or what their private lives are like even if you think you know them well. You don't. Second, you're doing the right thing by being active. Now you need to build a small support system by reaching out to a couple of people. You need to find a therapist (I know you don't want to) You have chosen not to commit suicide, now you need to choose to have a better quality of life. You do deserve better but only you can fix it. I think meds are thrown at people to numb normal feelings but for those who truly suffer from depression they can help and you need to try those until you get through this. And you will. It gets better. Really.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 233
Depression and suicide
Posted: 12/11/2010 11:04:39 AM
I did yesterday. I miss my husband so much, i have a wonderful boyfriend but it doesnt fill the hole. I wonder if i will always be this sad and would my kids be better off with a happier mommy. Feel like my heart is just to sensitive to survive in this world.
 hemanmachostudlovegod
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 234
Depression and suicide
Posted: 12/11/2010 12:52:03 PM
Hello? Knowing how sad you feel, how would your kids feel if you checked out? They would not be happier with a different mother, they would be depressed because you decided to die rather than raise them.

You won't always be this sad. Grief is what they call it when you feel bad after losing someone you love. Grief feels as bad as being with them felt good. It's how love feels at first when the person is gone. You grieve for a while then you're done grieving and you feel better.

It's a process. It happens then it's done. While feeling the extreme sadness suicidal thoughts are pretty good in terms of expressing the despair. People feel like dying to end the pain, and because it's the most dramatic thing they could do. Being extreme is satisfying because any less might seem like your love was less. The more you loved him, the more extreme should be your distress. Don't take any of your thoughts seriously when you are grieving. They are all distorted. They express feelings but make no sense otherwise.

You can set an example to your kids about how to handle grief. Unless they associate only with immortals, chances are good they will one day lose someone, maybe even you when you die of old age after spoiling your grandchildren. If the grief is overwhelming you just ask for help. You say something like, "Hey! I am overwhelmed by grief and need some help over here!" People will help. That's how you do it when things get too bad to handle by yourself. Before that point as you handle things yourself, remind yourself when you have extreme ideas, indulging the deepest pain you feel, that emotions serve their purpose and are passing.

I won't go near the problem of your boyfriend not filling your hole. That is another thread.
 TerriLeee
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 235
Dave Thanks
Posted: 12/12/2010 10:45:19 AM
Thanks Dave for the post. I'm not depressed myself but I lost the love of my life to suicide just this past March. I was crushed when I finally found out how he died. It makes no sense to me why he finally decided to leave everyone behind,except to say he must of had some kind of mental dissorder that even he didn't know about. I just wish I could of seen the signs any signs then. Now looking back I see a few, but that doesn't help me now. I hope no one has to loss a close loved one to suicide because it's the hardest thing I have ever been through. The pain from such an act is gut wrenching.
 TerriLeee
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 236
to sweetnessinflorida
Posted: 12/12/2010 11:02:43 AM
PLEASE PLEASE if your feeling like this go see a doctor. PLEASE don't think about suicide. Believe me the ones you leave behind are the ones who will suffer. My spouse killed himself on March of this year and I'm telling you now please don't do that to yourself and more imporantly to the people you will be leaving behind. I can understand your feelings of sadness but please just remember that your kids need you. Go get some help even if it's just someone to talk to. ok take care Terry
 ashley868
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 237
Depression and suicide
Posted: 12/19/2010 4:38:07 PM
I think about it a lot, but I won't ever do it. My dad killed himself when I was six years old, so that is enough incentive not to. I would never want to out my mother through another suicide. It would be downright cruel. She lost her husband, and than almost twenties year later she loses her daughter to the same thing. Whenever I have those thoughts, I think of my family and then push them away. It isn't really as bad as it used to be. I've had these thoughts for years. Now I have a good steady job, and I make good money.

However, the lonliness still gets to me. I've never had a lot of friends. Back in my old town, I was made fun of all the time and I was called a loser all the time. So that was why back then I always thought about it. I figured once I left High School, people would leave me alone but they didn't. They always made fun of me for not being too pretty and I used to be really fat.

I left my old town over a year ago to the city where I have found a job. I've met plenty of people at work who seem to like me, but it hasn't really developed into a friendship. I have been single for so long too. I just always feel helpless and alone, and have no one to talk to about it. I am 24 years old, and I haven't really had a long term relationship. Which worries me because a guy might not like someone so inexperienced as me.

However, I keep telling myself that I will meet someone, and I will make more friends. I just have to get over the shyness. I know I won't ever hurt my mother, so it's not too big of deal that i have the thoughts. I can easily push them away.
 Beatitudine_dolce
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 238
Depression and suicide
Posted: 12/20/2010 10:18:03 AM
I've contemplated suicide myself actually tried one time and woke up in the er getting my stomach pumped. I honestly think it's not worth it & personally i feel & well i know that god has other plans for me.

Depression sucks and anyone can feel it after my best friend died i felted as if my whole life was suddenly fading away being that we shared so many memories together; and i truly felted that she was the only person who ever really understood me.

But I'm learned to cope with it I'm as happy as one can possible be. Your story really touched me ashley868 getting bullied in school can really mess up a persons self esteem and i pray & hope that you never let it affect you and push you to the point where you try and commit suicide.

Like you said your mother needs you and your only 24 sweetie a relationship can easily blossom any day for you. I think you need to work on your self esteem and learn to really love yourself and forget about how people view you remember beauty is only skin deep and anyone who dares tell you that your not beautiful is out of place and out of line. Honestly sweetie to me your simply beautiful & you have a nice smile as well hun
 angle61
Joined: 4/4/2010
Msg: 239
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/14/2011 6:59:07 PM
Spend a winter in Vermont . It's not the weather but the miserably cold people. Plus the fact that they don't have spell check on this site. I am jus kiddiin , but seriously, I could see it happening. I have been alone for six years. WTF. I am talented, versed, read... Not hard on the eyes .. Yeah! I could see offing yourself. Not taking anyone with you.. just releaving yourself of all the mundane hypocracy that is ............well having to resort to a site like this to meet a compatiblie woman.
easy for the pretty lass to say.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 240
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/17/2011 1:08:02 PM
your life is worth 12 pounds of pull and 3 cents.
that is really all it takes to end it.
Now do you go out with your tail between your legs, and take the biatch coward move out - or do you drag as many as long with you into a cesspool of miserableness and live to a ripe old age 100+..... the second one is the better revenge ;)
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 241
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/17/2011 1:15:50 PM
I have been lonely, i have been through a major depresssion...
but no, not suicide..i would not do that to my family.
or to myself.
there is always a way out. sometimes its so hard and you just have to live with these horrible feelings.
get outside...look at nature...
look at the ocean if you can,
or river,
or the rain,
or the sun.. or a flower...
look at some little thing that you can be grateful for.
look...i can walk, i can talk..., i can use my hands, i can see, i can hear....
find some little thing and be happy about it. take small steps
Suicide will devestate those who love you..even if you think they dont love you.
dont do that to them.
find something, no matter how small, to live for.
 Goodluckchuck!
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 242
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/22/2011 2:13:23 AM
I can say from experience that suicide does cross many peoples minds. Actually attempting it is a whole different level. I recently 2/14/11 lost my youngest brother to it. He was only 20 and I'm still dealing with it daily. He was the most popular kid at school homecoming king, quarterback of the football team. An all American boy. I too have considered it as an option but have too much to live for. Life is a daily struggle but the battles are worth the fight. Please if you're considering it think of the people you leave behind. They will question what they could have done to help and always wanna know why. I'll never know.
 MidnightStarSparks
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 243
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/26/2011 4:23:46 AM
I have Bi-Polar disorder

I used to have Bi-Polar anger and depression now its just depression there has been times where i have thought about suicide but i would never end my life over something completely stupid i go through my emotions some days im really happy other days im really sad just depends. Also i drink alot sometimes when i go to the bar im there until maybe 30 mins before closing time and those who say alcohol doesnt solve problems you are partially right. For me when i drink my problems go away for about a month and im better i've tried counseling and i did go when i was supposed to that never helps so the dr tells me im going to have to control my emotions without medicine cause the meds for bi-polar i take make me sicker than a dog, anyway life will get better! Just take it one day at a time
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 244
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/27/2011 12:51:16 PM
goodluckchuck...i am so sorry about your little brother. may be rest in peace.

if i ever think about dying it would not be suicide...it would just be please God..take me now...
but i would not want to leave my family. they would be devestated.
i love them too much.
and i have too much hope that one day things will be better.
that day might even be today.
never give up hope.
if you feel suicidal please talk to someone or call an anonymous hotline. Please .
 UnderManiac
Joined: 6/22/2010
Msg: 245
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/27/2011 1:09:05 PM
Well, I'm in the same place you are. I am 46 and extremely lonely. I feel as if life has left me behind. I see others with relationships and sometimes it hits me hard. Valentines is one of the hardest days.
I don't consider myself attractive in any way. I hate mirrors.
When I get depressed, thoughts of suicide are most prevalent. I lock my self up in my room and rarely interact with anyone. I know it's counter productive, but I can't talk to anyone about it, not face to face.
I know, all too well, the feelings that depression brings. Sometimes, all that is needed is someone to understand and to offer a hug.
Being alone sucks, big time. That's why I came on here, to try to meet someone, no success, which confirms my feelings about myself.
 greglalicious
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 246
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/28/2011 9:54:13 AM
"What would the world be like without Captain Hook."
I'm not sure why, but that quote popped in to my head.
I think we have all suffered with depression over loneliness at some point. I always just think about all of the friends and family I have and I feel better. Sometimes you also have to remember that if you are your own best friend, you can't ever be lonely.
 Easygoin68a
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 247
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/28/2011 11:24:40 AM
Suicide - a permanent solution to a temporary problem.... depression and suicide need professional help...
 oreo4u49
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 248
Depression and suicide
Posted: 7/28/2011 7:24:28 PM
It is very hard to understand when you feel that God lead you to the love of your life, and then to be scammed. Thoughts of suicide, sure, but who would care about my animals? All family is overseas so just pretty much alone. Is a lonely place to be, and trying to dig myself up out of the grave of loneliness. Wonder if I will?
 leon1951
Joined: 1/11/2011
Msg: 249
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:41:50 PM
I am dieing and still think of suicide every day . I don't think that will every go away.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 250
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/3/2011 4:50:26 PM

I am dieing and still think of suicide every day . I don't think that will every go away.

I'm sorry to read this. I think if I were in your situation I'd think of suicide every day also. I do hope you find some joy in the remainder of your time here.

Suicide - a permanent solution to a temporary problem.... depression and suicide need professional help...

Although this seems to be a common statement/attitude about suicide. I have some "indifference" to the sentiment. One will never know the heart, mind, soul of another. Not all people are meant to weather storms that some of us get through, nor is everyone "built" to think in terms of things getting better. Mental illnesses, chronic physical illnesses, loss of life's enjoyments for whatever reason, etc., etc. are likely contributing factors to the thoughts of many who attempt or do commit, suicide. This goes along with the sentiment "it's so selfish." What I find interesting about that is that no one wants to lose a loved one, but they are willing to watch someone suffer just to keep from having the paramount loss in their own life. This seems paradoxically selfish to me. Sometimes the least selfish thing to do is to understand why someone wishes to die, support them and love them regardless and then say good-bye gracefully and with a large dose of empathy/compassion and faith that they made the decision that was appropriate for them. I will never understand those who place blame on anyone for wishing to end their life. Unless you live that life, and the circumstances in that life? You have no clue what is truly going on for/inside or with that person. Although I am not someone who considers suicide an "answer" for anything ~ I dearly loved someone that did feel this way. I had to learn to love the person, rather than to attempt to love him better. He was suffering and for me? That was far more painful than learning to live without him. The learning to live without him has been and will likely continue to be out and out agonizing. But watching/feeling/hearing/etc., his suffering/suffrage? No human being should witness the person they love most in the world go through such wretched/wicked pain ~ it was truly hell on earth. We are all individuals and we all have "breaking points" ~ we may not understand, but we need to try to understand without blaming. At least I think so. JMO
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