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 Animefan81
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 251
Depression and suicidePage 5 of 31    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
I feel I should have some input in the conversation as I have major depression and have had it for most of my life. Medication helps but some days are just really bad. Anyway, I recently broke up with a woman that I loved with all my heart. It was the first time I ever loved someone that much, and its the first time in my life that I've had to deal with the fall out over a break up. Its a very new, and raw feeling for me.

During my breaks at work I sit on the roof of the building and watch people walk in and out, like ants in a hill. The thought of jumping comes every time I am up there, but I could never let myself do it. The temptation is there but I still have a grasp on life. There are times where I feel good, and others where I'm an ugly troll who will never have friends or a better life. But I do try, and at the end of the day I cannot hate myself for not giving it a shot at all.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 252
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/4/2011 9:23:22 PM
Animefan^^^^^
if you continually have thoughts of jumping off the roof i think that for now...
until you are feeling better..
it might be better to find another place to to take your work breaks.
no reason to put temptation in front of you.
i hope you recover from this depression.
K
 Animefan81
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 253
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/5/2011 12:50:34 AM
I thought of that tonight actually. Maybe your thoughts entered my head? Anyway, I found a family of stray cats behind the parking building and spend time with them. A kitten came up and stole some meat from my sandwich while her mom watched me from afar. It was a really spiritual moment for me.
 CazCorpse
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 254
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/10/2011 11:55:15 AM
I tried to kill myself the other nite. I moved to Iowa from South Carolina to be with a man that said he loved me. Been here 3 months living with him. I found out that he's an alcoholic, a liar and a cheater. He's been cheating on me the whole time. I think he may have actually been cheating on someone else with me...I didn't know. He stopped holding me, stopped kissing me...Wouldn't touch me anymore. I'm on his computer now actually. We're not "in a relationship" anymore. He was on his phone, cheating again, right in front of me (before we broke up). I've been trying to find a way back home. I took some pills because I'm stuck here and he doesn't care if I'm watching him, crying because I love him and it's hurting me. I lived through it, obviously. I still just wanna go home. But can't afford it right now and can't hitchhike 1,000 miles.
 heavensdaughter
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 255
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:23:29 PM
I don't know how some people do what u listed above,
but i do know that often times people comit suicide when they are dealing with such a sadness that haunts the depths of thier soul and heart, its such a pain that lives with in them most thier lives and no matter what they do to try and fix that pain, they can't get it to go away,
they feel so alone that they feel no connection to any other living thing, with out a connection to a living thing they start to feel dead ( or so they think) and they truly believe they would be better off because they already have been feeling dead for so long, they believe no one would even notice they were gone, they believe there life holds no vaule or worth =-(
these people arent weak.......... they actually are in so much pain they can't think clear.
its a serious promblem that exist & I am in the process of fighting with legislation to get some new laws passed about suicide......... we need more awarness, and more response, suicide is preventable.............................
 heavensdaughter
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 256
Depression and suicide
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:27:16 PM
your only running out of time if you allow your self to be consumed with this emotion bring you down..... as long as you have breath in your lungs there is hope to change things............
what is it your wanting to accomplish,
=-)
 lisalisa66
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 257
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/16/2011 9:42:14 PM
Trust me suicide is not the answer! I lost my fiance to suicide and it nearly destroyed me, my family and his family. It also nearly caused his best friend to do the same thing, because he found him. No matter what is going on in your life, someone loves you and would be torn apart if you chose to take your own life.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 258
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/17/2011 9:08:21 AM
I know depression all too well. My early teen years were the worst years of my life due to it. But killing myself? No way. I came onto this world fighting and I will go out fighting.
 DudeOfManyTalents
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 259
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/19/2011 6:58:45 AM
Yeah welll... look at the way we treat lonely people. Instead of trying to be a friend to them and give them some comfort, we try to drive them to suicide.

SHAME ON US!!!!!
 wildstallion1980
Joined: 6/15/2010
Msg: 260
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/19/2011 2:26:05 PM
Been there and it's horrible. Sometimes I'm still there. My marriage ended after seven years to someone I loved. Obviously, they didn't have the same kind of love back. When she told me she was divorcing me my world felt like it ended. Why? Why would she leave me? I didn't do anything that bad, I had forgiven and looked past all her blunders and imperfections... I didn't get the same back I guess. I contemplated killing myself and I know it's a really chicken shit thing to do, but some don't understand what it's like maybe... At the time I would have rather not feel and be dead than feeling the kind of suffering I had going on inside me. I moved past it all and I'm doing okay. But, and there's always a but, I'm still alone.
Nobody seems to even be attracted to me and I don't know why? I'm not ugly and I'm a decent guy. I've tried finding someone on here and it's just not working. I guess I'll be alone forever and that's one of the things that really hurt me when I was going through my separation/divorce. I might luck out and find a good one. I just don't know when... I live in a area where it seems like the ration to men to women is like 10:1. So of course they'll go for whoever they want and I'm on the sideline. Depression, anger, sadness, it's not a mental illness it's just from enduring a shitty life and the people around you who make it even worse.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 261
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/22/2011 2:24:57 AM
I think there is so much depression because over the last 20 years kids have been coddled in a huge way.

I see it in the last 10 years I've worked at a high school. The parents; especially the mom's refuse to discipline their kids and their kids are out of control. Many are very spoiled and when they get into trouble or fail at school, they are taught it's someone else's fault or it's got to be a learning disability.

Then when these kids grow up, they can't handle life in any way because they've never been taught how to because their parents controlled and handled everything for them.

In a recent poll the # of adults living at home is staggering. Partly because of the economy but also because they have it so easy.

I dont' believe in all this anxiety and depression stuff. I think people like this need counseling, not to get addicted on a prescription drug to make them happy to live. Prescription drugs now kill more people than coke, meth, and heroine COMBINED. Look at all the deaths in hollywood.

If you are having problems handling life and it depresses you, then people should seek help to get the tools to handle life. Our family is very large and we've had unreal tragedies to deal with but we adjust because our parents taught us how to handle life and what comes up. We were lucky.
 thumperslookin4bambi
Joined: 6/10/2010
Msg: 262
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/22/2011 8:25:44 PM
can help a little on this one....losing 9 people within a year and half (family and friends).....mixed with very abusive partner on a daily basis for years and trying to escape.....the law pats abusive partner on the back instead of doing their job...have a job that starts out as, moving up in the company but ends up shoveling all the **** jobs at ya.....then after years of trying everything to be "like everyone else" and it just not working........then you do find someone and fall in love but then they are confused, leave and come back, then leave and come back several times until they dont come back at all.... so they nail the last nail in the coffin for ya......so can relate and understand....but have never wanted to hurt others.
 thumperslookin4bambi
Joined: 6/10/2010
Msg: 263
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/22/2011 9:46:55 PM
its people like this that cause people to snap.....have no concern for others and treat people the way this person does.....people like this commenter need the gun.....wonders why they are single.....
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 264
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/23/2011 4:30:04 PM
I do understand, having tried twice I wish one of those times had been successful.
I have been happy in the past and loved every second of it but those times are fewer and fewer. there comes a time in life that you realize this world simply has no place for you. you reach out and get your hand slapped away only so many times before you stop trying to seek help. Loneliness is a big factor, i want someone to share my life with and it looks like that wont happen, yes I am very picky in that regard but thats because I have always known what I wanted in life. every relationship I have been in has started off great only to be a letdown after the hormones wear off. You see I'm bipolar/ADHD
So for me the rush I feel in the beginning of a relationship is not hormonal but chemical and does not where off, meaning if nothing changes I will love you forever.
But that never seems to happen, after the initial happy period the woman always starts to go back to their original life leaving me feeling abandoned and neglected.
If people kept treating each other like they do when they first start dating people like me would not be created.
I was diagnosed 10 years ago, I have been on many types of meds and the side effects are always unacceptable, some have cure the depression but have made me unable to feel joy also leaving me stuck in the middle like a zombie, I love the joy of companionship and don't wish to live without it as little else makes me AS happy so I have 2 choices
1. Live my life feeling like I'm settling.
2. end my life and feel no more pain those who don't understand what you and others like us go through have never felt the bliss of love for once you have felt that the rest of life feels empty by comparison.

so I choose the latter and hope soon I have the strength to try again where I failed twice. Life will go on without me, all those who have hurt me will live their lives as if I never existed, my friends and family will live on the only difference will be that I am nolonger hurting and lonely. every day brings me closer as I have been bottoming out a little each day until the moment all fear goes away. The knowledge that it is clear I can never again trust propels me to this point, not that its impossible for me to trust, its that for me to trust a woman she would have to behave in a trustworthy manner and from what I have seen those women don't exist as most women these days have male friends, like going out in groups with their girlfriends in places other males will be etc etc...... and I can not take the doubt anymore. I want for once to be in a relationship where me and the other person put each others feelings first, and it is becoming clear I will never find that true symbiotic joining so I feel I have no strength left for another let down. I have so much love to offer its a shame that its never appreciated.
 celtic-music
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 265
Depression and suicide
Posted: 9/28/2011 9:56:58 PM
Sometimes it flitter's through my head like a butterfly effect when I am anxious and hurting so much inside that I feel sick and sooo totally alone. Thank goodness I always think that tomorrow will be another day and one step closer to the hurt just going away.
 WreckLoose
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 266
Depression and suicide
Posted: 11/18/2011 6:51:06 PM
Ah, an oldy but a goody post. Time to resurrect it, since it's the most wonderful time of the year, and the most wonderful time to be alive. Isn't life grand? A global economic depression. Corruption is rampant. Society is de-evolving. People are working more hours, under incredible amounts of stress, for half the income. I know I'll never do as well as my father or grandfather. I know that I am genectically inferior and not wanted by the beautiful people of the world. I am in the written off stage of my life - past the age of 40.
So, the original question is: "While depression can strike for many reasons,
Just how many here have become depressed over loneliness, and how many have actually thought of suicide?"
I can't go one or two days without thinking about taking the 357 cal. tylenol pill to the brain. I mean, why? Why continue when there is absolutely no hope for a better life? I don't know how others still do it. I suppose I am just weak and pathetic. I have always tried to be the best person I could be - for others and myself. It doesn't matter. And, in the long run, who would really care? I know that there might be a few people that would be saddened by me leaving, but they would eventually get over it. I can't seem to find an answer to keep on trying.
 SoBayNative
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 267
Depression and suicide
Posted: 11/19/2011 5:02:43 PM

Trust me suicide is not the answer! I lost my fiance to suicide and it nearly destroyed me, my family and his family. It also nearly caused his best friend to do the same thing, because he found him. No matter what is going on in your life, someone loves you and would be torn apart if you chose to take your own life.

Bullshit no one loves him/her or they'd show up or call occasionally to see how s/he is. Most people who consider or attempt suicide have no one in their lives (your fiance was different) or at least on any consistent level. I'm sick to death of reading posts like yours. After the person is gone all the phonies in their lives suddenly feel so sad and claim if they'd only known...I attempted suicide many years ago over a period of a year. I had focused on my career and had few friends and no family or romantic relationship. Nobody cared about me. I'd reach out but they never did with me. Suicide is definitely the answer if you can't cope anymore. I wish I had been successful and to this day I don't know why I wasn't.
 DaughterofGod84
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 268
Depression and suicide
Posted: 11/19/2011 5:54:07 PM
I was actually contemplating suicide today. Like seriously. I wrote a suicide note and everything, had all my antidepressants and a glass of water ready. I've been dealing with depression for 10 years, so it wasn't caused by loneliness. But the suicidal thoughts today were triggered by loneliness and heartbreak. I've been dating this guy, and he's really a jerk but I didn't want to let go. Anyway, I tried to get in touch with him today, but he ignored my calls. I know for sure now what I suspected. He doesn't care about me one bit. He was just using me, and I let him. I just feel like a loser in general. Not just because of him, but other stuff too. I know I don't really want to die though. I just want the pain to stop. And I'm tired of being rejected.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 269
Depression and suicide
Posted: 11/19/2011 8:48:51 PM

Anyway, I tried to get in touch with him today, but he ignored my calls. I know for sure now what I suspected. He doesn't care about me one bit. He was just using me, and I let him. I just feel like a loser in general. Not just because of him, but other stuff too. I know I don't really want to die though. I just want the pain to stop. And I'm tired of being rejected.


I can relate to you somewhat. I suffer from mild depression. Had a rough childhood. Went through things children should never have to go through.So, I have bouts of depression from time to time.

The only time that I have ever thought about suicide was when I went through my seperation/divorce. I went from being totally in love and loved to being hated within 2 weeks. My ex cheated on me and decided he wanted out after 12 years of marriage. This dude was my everything. I was so dependant on him. I decided to go back "home" because he said nothing could be done. I remember being so distraught that I almost just ran my car off the road. I live in the mountains of Virginia, so I wanted to drive off a cliff one day before work. Would have probably been instant. Thank GOD i didn't go through with it because I NOW know that no man is worth killing yourself over. Especially those who treat you like shit and hurt you. This means they never cared to begin with. You deserve better!
 misswwe
Joined: 1/14/2012
Msg: 270
Depression and suicide
Posted: 4/28/2012 7:55:09 PM
I have major depressive and borderline personality disorder. I've been dealing with depression for years. I have a long history of depression, self injury, and suicidal thoughts/actions. I've attempted suicide maybe 3 or 4 times. The last one was a few months ago in November. I was sooo overcome with depression. I took two different pain medications. All together I took almost 50 pills. And I was cutting myself all over my arms waiting for it to work. I then called my mom and she came home..her and my grandma took me to the E.R because I was really shakey and my legs and arms were really weak. I was throwing up but still feeling weakness. I was in the E.R for a few hours..maybe 5 or 6 hours. At one point the doctor said that there is a lot of damage to my liver and that it could be permanent and that I could possibly die. I got really scared. I realized that I was really stupid. I saw how upset my grandmother and parents were and didn't want to leave them with this. My then pastor actually came to see me. We talked for a little bit and he prayed with us. Not even 10 mins went by after that and a nurse came in and told us that the damage to my liver was gone and I was gonna be fine. I haven't had a suicide attempt since then but I have self injured. I last self injured a few months ago..it's been maybe 3 months since I cut last. I still have thoughts of doing it..a lot. But, I haven't done it. I take medication and go to therapy for my depression but it doesn't seem to be helping very much. I get upset and angry easily. It sucks!!
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 271
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/4/2012 7:12:49 PM
The biggest lie ever told is that suicidal people are selfish and should just get over it.....
Me for instance have known happiness (though most of that was 20 years ago) we are simply people who know what we want out of life and when life continually gives you crap and you have tried everything you can, read every book, seen a ton of shrinks and things still dont get better what do you expect? often the people who say they love say they love us are the ones putting the guns to our heads.......
 Rheostatic
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 272
Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/5/2012 6:56:58 AM

Just how many here have become depressed over loneliness


Would just like to point out that I don't believe most people with serious depression are like that because they're lonely. There are a plethora of factors that contribute to depression, and from how I understand it, loneliness is more of a symptom of chronic depression than a cause.

Everyone gets depressed now and then, and everyone gets lonely as well...sometimes this loneliness CAN lead to temporary/mild depression, absolutely. But when you're talking about a clinical diagnosis bordering on suicidal thoughts, that depression goes a lot deeper than simply being lonely.
 TempusFujis
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 273
Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/5/2012 2:08:01 PM
One of my friends son committed suicide a couple of years back because of bullying he took at school, he was down, depressed and saw no hope, to this day it haunts me I wished I could of done more but now if I see anyone im close to that is feeling this way Im going to do what ever it takes.

I cant or wont pretend to understand why someone would want to take that way out but I understand they may not see a light at the end of the tunnel, I wish there was more that could be done.
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 274
view profile
History
Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/5/2012 3:28:41 PM
If you are a girl....49? it could be the 'phase' related thing....every girl goes through or will go through....
If you are a guy [the reason I am saying this is because I just viewed this article, but did not see ur pof profile where gender is listed].....it could be the mid life thing.....
......remember 40 is the new 20.....for women....
......guys have an easier time getting dates..... no matter what age..

why r u lonely? is this why u r really depressed?
Is it a social wellness issue or mental wellness related?---like you can't get a date, just broke up with someone, or are you /your body lacking the things it needs to stay /look /feel happy

[1]
medically speaking:
you can get your blood checked for hormones, and the 'happy neurotransmitters'.....and don't have to take anything you believe is toxic/the chemicals alot are afraid of...natural stuff is available these days....if your hormones are a bit off ....taking supplements and neurotransmitter supplements can ease some of your sadness...

bodily speaking:
do you have the body of your dreams? are you comfortable with your body and appearance.....if not then do something about it.....

[2] social wellness speaking:
it would seem the concerns [1] would stunt social networking..and only make you stuck in this state of depression/loneliness....

Do your concerns [1] [2] have anything to do with [$]money?
It would seem that this would make anyone sad, depressed, and lonely...then budgeting would help...if you are a spender kind of person....[setting aside money for your social life]

If you have one friend.....that you can rely on....this often helps....sometimes it is better to have 1 friend then more than one enemy....so to speak.....

personal life/career-----better to keep them separate....
 CJC1337
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 275
Depression and suicide
Posted: 5/6/2012 6:59:51 PM
I am depressed and I think about killing myself every day. The only thing that stops me is knowing the emotional aftermath that would ensue for my family, friends and coworkers. But honestly, I'd be dead, so what would I care? I screwed up the greatest thing that ever happened in my life. Nothing could ever be as good again so in reality I should just kill myself but I am afraid of the pain I would have to feel while doing it as well as the large chance I would do it wrong and only maim or impair myself in the process.

Hanging won't work. Very low chance of breaking my neck and I'd mostly slowly choke to death while hanging there and it would take several minutes.

Pills won't work because the body usually makes you vomit them back up. Also the last few minutes of consciousness are said to be excruciatingly painful and the chances of causing oneself brain damage is quite high.

Slitting wrists or throat isn't a good idea. Very painful and you have to cut long and deep. And it's messy.

Jumping off a high building or bridge just sounds like a terrifying experience and I don't want to have to be faced with thinking about changing my mind as I plummet towards the ground or water.

Shooting myself would be the best option but I would have to absolutely do it right. Putting the gun to your temple doesn't usually work especially if the gun is angled wrong. Putting it to your forehead might work. The quickest and hopefully least painful way is putting it into your mouth and aiming slightly upwards towards your thalamus. Hit the thalamus and you destroy your consciousness. In the process you cut off consciousness as quickly as possible but in that final split second the pain is most likely unimaginable.

I question myself every day why I don't do it. I have nothing left in this life. The people who would miss me when I'm gone mean nothing to me because the one person who my life had meaning for is gone and she's not coming back. I can either choose to live the rest of my life remembering her and wanting her back or I can kill myself. Because I'm obviously not anything special enough to find someone as beautiful, smart or loving as the woman who left me.
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