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Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 55
PunchlinesPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Either you have no pulse, or my watch is broken.
 vlad dracul
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 56
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Posted: 10/12/2013 1:15:17 AM
He should have quit when he was a head

Now i have to tell the whole joke because my messages are too short.

A couple have been trying for years to have a bairn. Eventually
the wummin falls pregnant. After much pain she gives birth.
But all thats there is a head.

But over the years they nurture and love the head and take him
(yes they called the head mungo) to the beach, to the football
and away to spain on holiday.

Eventually its mungo the heads 18th birthday.
C'mon son says the dad, I'll take you down the pub to celebrate.

So laying the head on the bar the dad buys two whiskys.

Happy birthday son. As the dad puts the whisky to mungo
the heads lips a strange thing happens.
A torso sprouts out.
Another whisky and legs appear

Woo hoo they cry and down whiskys until a fully grown young
man stands there.

Right dad im away up the toon shouts a very drunk mungo,
steps out the bar, falls over a black cat ends up on the road
and gets hit and killed by a bus.

And the moral of the story is?
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 57
Posted: 1/8/2014 5:05:38 PM
James in SD- Looking for me
of course I picked the bicycle, what would I do with a cheerleaders uniform?
3, one stands on the stool, the other 2 turn the stool
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 58
Posted: 1/10/2014 4:31:47 PM

The Lifeguard said "Next time, put the potato in the front !"

I want all my friends to say, " look at that "S"-car-go ! "

And the Duck says.... " Can you get this guy off my ass? "
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 59
Posted: 4/12/2014 10:35:08 PM
So I said "that's not how you milk a cow"

The horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey why the long face."

And then we agreed that this was no place for a buffalo.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 60
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Posted: 4/13/2014 3:17:01 AM
And then the farmer said to the new farmhand

"No, that's not salable milk, but yes, that would have been the right way to milk a cow."
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