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 harviej
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 66
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Got his name wrongPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
This seems to break down not just by sex but by age. Younger people seem more understanding of her and older are more sympathetic to him. Interesting.

Yep OP he went ballistic and that was nuts. But you were rude or stupid and did nothing to correct it. In fact if he had just gone quietly away you would be wondering what happened.
As Real-me in message 46 pointed out you contacted him first. This set him up for the sting he felt at being mistaken repeatedly for someone else. He was probalby not IMing with 4 other people and reading emails and eating at the same time so your behavour was objectionable.

And Tdh? Come on guy you know women always stick together. It has always been that way. Of course you are right that if a guy posted this they'd be gutting him like a fish, but its even worse. Most of us guys would join them to curry favour! Man we don't stand a chance.

And countrysugar message 2
When he says or does something impressive I'll remember his name until then he's darlin.
Is that why when I left this morning you said 'bye darlin'?
 dogwood
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 74
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/24/2007 3:47:23 AM
I'm with tdh on this one. OP is a player, as well as a bit of an drama queen.
 Celtic_Angel
Joined: 9/2/2005
Msg: 78
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/24/2007 7:55:14 AM
I agree with you TDH46. I think it is very rude to call someone by the wrong name, not once, but twice. I wouldn't have spoken to her anymore either.

If you cannot do more than one thing at a time well, then don't attempt it.

I think that if you are instant messaging with one person, then they do deserve your attention, the same as if it was a phone call. It's just common courtesy, which, unfortunately, is not too common these days.
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 82
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/24/2007 8:24:13 AM
Mec1 says" She called me 4 other names"

So it turned out the Op was somewhat deceptive in her opening thread ,she said she missed his name twice, yet the guy himself as pointed out in both his post that she actually missed his name 4 different times. At first i though maybe the guy over reacted, But if someone contacted me here on pof then miss my name 4 different times on msn. I would be really pissed too and be thinking she must have massed e-mailed guys and is chatting to all of them at once.

After missing the poor guys name 4 times, I stand by my original post that the Op is a wanna be player with no regard for the feelings of others.
 val0214
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 83
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/24/2007 8:27:30 AM
OP I know what you mean.

I had multiple email windows up. I was emailing a female friend of mine and a man I went out on a blind date with. Well, I sent an attachment about serial killers in South America to the blind date meaning to send it to my female friend because we had both seen the movie "Copycat" and had looked into the subject...more out of fear and curiousity as they used real cases in the movie and before the movie we didn't even know such a thing existed. And I sent the email to the friend that was meant for him (it was tame).

I got back an email from him saying I was harsh and he was ending it.

That's when I realized my mistake. Oooops!

Now that I think about it, I think maybe he thought I was referring to him being a serial killer (which I didn't). At the time I thought he meant I was "messed up" for even bringing up the subject. Hmmm...Ohhh well!

P.S. Just tell him Marc is gay so there's not much to be jealous of.
 val0214
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 91
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/24/2007 1:41:40 PM
rmb_mike,

If I screw up, I've screwed up. I tried to explain it to him but he had taken it the wrong way and it was just not meant to be. What do you want me to do? Go on national TV and make a big deal about it? Have a press conference? Jump off a bridge? We only talked a couple of times and met once.

It was not meant to be. He didn't have a sense of humor about the situation.

As for the whole switched names for the OP. The guy got nasty and insulting. So what is she supposed to do? Walk the hall of shame? Jump of a different bridge?

Come on, in her case it was not meant to be either. She screwed up, tried to appologize and he got nasty and made her feel guilty about it and made a huge drama about it.

It must have still bothered her for her to post it. I moved on. She needs to move on.

It would be unrealistic to think that the person we correspond with ...that we are the only person that they are corresponding with. He probably was dealing with multiple women himself.

A c ouple of emails and a couple of meetings does not make one a committed relationship...unless you're a little nutty and in which case you need to be "committed" anyways.



BTW - I'm HORRIBLE with names even with people I've known for years. Always have been, (an Aquarius trait), but I can remember a face, place, what was said, etc years later and speak multiple languages. I'm a little like "the absent minded professor - female version of course". Some of us (and I can't speak for the OP) have difficulty with names like others have difficulty with math. 'Tis the way we are wired.
 val0214
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 97
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/24/2007 3:31:09 PM
rmb_mike

Look, there's enough serious shi# out there going on, that you learn to see the humourous side of things.

As for names...what's in a name? I've called my own daughter by my sister's name by mistake a couple of times because my daughter reminded me of my sister at that age. It was embarrassing. It's not the end of the world.

I dated a man on and off for a year several years ago. What I didn't know about him and later learned was he was a multiple-personality. Yup, you got it, same name, different man. He was with me on my birthday, we did things together, even went to a wedding. A couple of weeks later he didn't believe me that he was there and (and it was valentine's day) and he was even surprised my birthday was on valentine's day. Some of my best jokes I used on that one. Trying to make him jealous I said "Well, your other personality and I had a great time together, wish you were there! " lol... Then I said "You'all should have a group meeting, maybe write each other notes." As a psychology major in college, I found it fascinating!

Did I feel hurt or insulted? Nope, actually, if I was smarter or more manipulative, I could have collected gifts for my birthday and valentine's day twice ! lol

So get over it...Or another way to handle it is simply call this person by another name like "Shenaynay". "You know, Shenaynay, you need to work on getting my name right or I'll tell everyone on POF you wear your underwear backwards."

MOVE ON!

Jeeze, you sound like the moral minority.
 GuitarGuy_
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 100
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/24/2007 9:32:52 PM
LOL how pissy would you get if someone got your name wrong twice.


:)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 102
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/25/2007 6:32:35 AM
LOL how pissy would you get if someone got your name wrong twice.

Unlike a lot of people here, obviously I am a realist. I wouldn't expect that someone I hardly know dropped everything to have a conversation with just me nor would I expect them to keep track of all names so early on (especially the men).

If you're dating someone like a month or something, then I could see the reason for feeling bad about it, but these are people that we haven't met yet - which means it's just not personal. I do agree that getting a name wrong 4 times in a row is a bit careless, but once or twice should be expected. They barely know ya! Another case of people here being way to sensitive and thin skinned about online dating - both men and women.

I still think most are making too big a deal about this. There are much bigger things to worry about when you've talked to someone online twice.
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 107
Got his name wrong
Posted: 5/26/2007 12:27:25 AM
It was a little over reacting, but I can see where he's comeing from. OP I don't really think your sure how many people you were talking too, because you are so inconsistant. Yes, most people want the courtesy of haveing your full attention when talking to someone and it is rather annoying after a while if you cant get someones name right whether it was 2 or 4 times. If I have to wait 5 minutes for each responce then I am going to naturally assume she is too busy for me also.
 ny_lady_13601
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 112
Got his name wrong
Posted: 6/2/2007 9:02:35 PM
Put yourself in his position and think how you would feel if some guy called you by two other different women's names. If you were too busy to chat with him then you shouldn't have accepted his IM, instead you should have just sent him an e-mail explaning how you were already chatting with a friend and didn't want to be rude towards him by having a conversation with more then one person at a time.


I mean give me a break, does he think I only contact one person and focus ALL my attention on him at a time??!! COME ON!! Does anybody do that??


I DO........IT'S CALLED....CONSIDERATION
 mepalmer
Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 114
Got his name wrong
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:27:57 PM
Hi, I this he's over-reacting. Accidents happen and afterall you two had not even started dating yet. I've run into insecurity like this before with a man I met on here. He was very controlling and domineering, and it wasn't pleasant.

You made a mistake, he couldn't accept your apology. I wouldn't give it another thought. You don't need men like that in your life.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 115
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Got his name wrong
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:36:26 PM
Most people whether male or female would feel poorly after being called a name other than one's own. I have even had guys that I know well accidentally refer to my daughter as Amanda when I know they know her name is Samantha; it has nothing to do with whether I am important enough to remember mine or my daughter's name.

When it happens to me I usually chuckle and make sure to sign the next e-mail. I don't care how young you are, everyone has senior moments and there is no need to make an issue of a slip-up in the early stages. Later on is another story but some people do really put their eggs all in one basket from the moment of contact.

The reaction is over-the-top but it is likely that had the OP been the individual whose name was forgotten, many of these positive posts might have suggested that the guy was a cad, a player, for making the same error.
 joebobbriggs
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 116
Got his name wrong
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:15:09 PM
So OP - what is wrong with 'talking' with just one guy at a time? When you are playing - talking, chatting, eating, forgetting, misplacing - then you are a player. Serious people like serious attention - focused attention.

If you can't multi-task without messing up - then don't do it.

JoeBob
 mitzicentennial
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 117
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Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/17/2013 11:13:59 AM
Had a few brief online messages with a gentleman on here...we exchanged #s and said we would talk a little later that day (it was during the holidays). Spoke briefly. We didn't call each other again that day, and around 3:30 pm the next day, a friend called to tell me what he was making for New Year's dinner--he has to hang up suddenly as a pot was burning on the stove. The gentleman from POF called and since I thought it was my friend who was cooking--I answered by saying "hey, did you finish the peas and rice for tonite?" There was a dead silence. He said this is not who you think it is. ??? Then the gentleman got pis*y because I didn't recognize his voice and told me that I must be a player. He continued to call and got an attitude when I apologized and explained why. He still calls but doesn't have much to say (?).
 mitzicentennial
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 118
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Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/17/2013 11:28:04 AM
I would be a little miffed if someone got my name wrong more than once. That's why I don't hold several different conversations online/offline at the same time unless it is a group of close friends.

How does having conversations with different people make you a slut? Some folks date a couple of people and after a few weeks, decide to date only one. Some date only one person at a time. Personal preference. As long as the people involved know where they stand.

Still comprehending the "slut" issue here...what gives?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 119
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Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/17/2013 11:55:29 AM
You have things a little backwards in your attempt to understand.

Some one LABELS a person as being a slut, based on the contrast between their own desires, their own prejudices, and the degree of childish petulance which they still allow to rule their behavior. It rarely has anything to do with the person being accused.
 aussieblues
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 120
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Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/17/2013 4:33:30 PM
Bit of an oops from you and a total over-reaction from him.....
I know a woman who I see irregularly, who is part of my larger friendship group, who always called me by a name which actually rhymes with my name. When she became aware of her error she asked why I hadn't corrected her my answer was simple..."Hey, you remember me and always treat me with respect and generosity, why make you feel bad about getting the first letter of my name wrong." She still calls me the wrong name..as a joke.
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 121
Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:16:54 PM
This made me laugh because I am so guilty of doing this myself. If a guy takes it that personally then he is wacked.

I like this guy right now and I know he told me his name. I can't for the life of me remember what it is and am trying to figure out how to get him to repeat it. I feel awful because we talked for hours over the phone and are supposed to meet when I get to WV.

I guess I need to just annie up. My poker face sucks:)

He knows I come on the forums so Mr. 6'5, dark hair and extremely handsome...what is your name again??? Just sign your dang messages to me!!!!!!!!!!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 122
Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:36:09 PM
What would be worse when it comes to improper names is when you're having sex, and the guy calls out your name and it's someone else's name. Women hate that. For some reason, guys aren't as bothered being called by someone else's name. I guess it's because guys are just happy having sex, no matter what they're called.
 TheJoker35
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 123
Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/18/2013 12:51:52 AM
Gosh, I hate it when that happens. Lol
But seriously, you should know if you're a player or not so what difference does it make what someone else thinks?
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 124
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Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/18/2013 2:33:42 PM
Op,
That is soo funny!! I giggled while reading it so thank you for posting. I have a do not call him by his name rule lol!! I am bad with names and kept repeating this one guys name to myself in the car on my way to a date. Lol i was scared i would forget or mess up!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 125
Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/18/2013 3:54:33 PM
This post can't be real. This has to be made up. No one could possibly be so obtuse. Look, you came across like a pof player, and honestly, based upon your post here, it may be a very apt assumption to make. When you are "skimming" through emails from other men while "chatting" with this guy, yeah, it comes across as shallow, insincere, and basically nothing more than perfunctory, which anyone person would find insulting. Don't confuse being insecure with expecting to be treated with a modicum of respect. You weren 't really interested in this guy anyway. If you were, you would have given him your full attention.
 MeggieMugster
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 126
Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/18/2013 3:58:43 PM
Thats what happens when you have too many guys on the go, you forget their names. Maybe just talk to one guy at a time, so that way you dont forget his name. How would u like it if a guy called you by the wrong name, you wouldnt like it would you? It works both ways. Maybe he felt if you couldnt remember his name, that u were too busy with many other guys, and he took that as you being a player.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 127
Got his name wrong
Posted: 2/18/2013 4:52:56 PM
Comes with a price when you screw up while tooling with your online harem. Most move to IM for a reason but since you don't seem to have any such standards, the label fits. He could have went with attention ho too.
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