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 AUTHOR
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 30
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Giving UpPage 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
That is it ! I need to run a post with myself next to a BMW. I guess i would get more replys that way then standing next to an old Cessna 172. But i would rather fly a Cessna 172 than drive a BMW. I have never been stuck in bumper-bumper traffic while flying. But any fool can buy an over priced euro-trash car. Takes a lot more skill and dedication to fly an airplane.
 mslingolady
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 40
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History
Giving Up
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:04:12 AM
I can't agree with you more on your "baggage" comment. Explain to me how anyone our age does not have baggage !!!! The measure of a person, at least at this stage of the game, is how well they carry that baggage around with them. If you have no "baggage" you haven't lived and it is too bad that more people do not recognize that most everyone has it. An open heart can lead to wonderful possibilities...........it's too bad that so many people do not allow others a chance. I feel honesty is still the best policy and sharing life's ups and downs in a historical sense puts all the cards on the table. Isn't that what a good relationship is all about?
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 42
Giving Up
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:36:48 PM
Just in general to the "baggage" question. Baggage, for me, is not exes, children, etc. It is any of that undealt with. I don't mind hearing, occasionally, about what the last woman did in his life. It's when there IS no other subject that I get on along down the road.

Same with kids. Whether they're young or old, they are part of their parents life. But if that parent is spending lots of time bailing them out, or picking them up from rehab, or letting them dictate what's going on between us, then *that* constitutes baggage.

Or parents, or friends, or jobs, or anything. If he's dealing with it well, it isn't baggage. If not, it is: big time.


Just my opinion.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 44
Giving Up
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:33:04 PM
You aren't doing anything wrong. Guys don't really want a relationship. If they say they do, they are lying to get into your pants. All they want is sex. They won't stick around long enough for you to get used to them because they want to keep their freedom to get to try it with every woman alive.

I am giving up too. There is no point in looking for something that doesn't exist. I am going to do something else with my time and enjoy my life alone. Guys are a total waste of time.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 47
Giving Up
Posted: 6/11/2007 7:12:31 PM

Most of the men on this site are not interested in long-term.
I am very sure you won't find any man who really wants long term. If they last a week you are VERY lucky. Anything past a week they may have to stop seeing other people and loose their freedom to play the field for the rest of their lives. Even if he does stick around he will sneak around to sleep with other women any chance he gets. One women is never going to be enough for any guy. That isn't want any guy wants. There is no point in looking for any guy long-term. That doesn't exist. If they say they want long term, it is only because they think that is what women want. It is a way to get women to meet them so they can have a one night stand. After they get what they want, you can bet your life he is going to be gone. That is all any guy really wants, no matter what he claims to be looking for. There is no point in wasting your time - it is all a total waste of time unless you want a different guy every night. Then you can be busy every night of the week for the rest of your life. All you have to do is to put a good picture on here and say you are looking for 'fun' .. you will need a secretary to keep track of your schedule.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 49
Giving Up
Posted: 6/11/2007 7:34:33 PM
WOW.. if you think that is true you must be from another century.. There is no guy alive who will wait 5 minutes to have sex with someone. I don't put out on the first date - that is why no one sticks around. That is all guys want is a one night stand or no- committment sex. When a guy thinks a women expects committment - he disappears off the face of the earth. No guy will ever want long term. That is just a fact of life. If that were possible I would have found one person I could see would want that - not necessarily with me but with anyone. Guys just don't want to be tied down with any one person no matter how he is treated or if he likes the girl or not.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 51
Giving Up
Posted: 6/11/2007 11:31:52 PM
The bonus comes when you love yourself - you love everyone else.

And that is very attractive.


Bingo! (and in either a man or woman)(or a cat)


 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 55
Giving Up
Posted: 6/12/2007 4:06:32 AM
I treat every guy I meet with respect and I am sure I make them comfortable with me. I am a good listener and most people like that. But being a good person on the inside isn't what guys want. I only get angry when they treat me like crap which is just about everyone. Guys just don't know what they want .. They either only want sex with anyone they can get it from or they want a young looking skinny woman to hang on his arm and don't care how she treats him. Other than that - the guys I have met have been idiots - with no job and no social skills. One guy I met only talked about his toe fungus.. I couldn't get out of their fast enough.

I need to at least take a break. I like the person I am, but no one else does. I have been on this and other dating sites almost 4 years with nothing but the same kind of guys. I read on these forums that a lot of people have the same problems I am having... guys and girls. The ' nice' guy wants the super model type girls and the good looking girls are ****es or only want the guys who treat them like crap..so no one gets what they are looking for... ... It is good to see it isn't just me.

Good luck.... you will need it.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 59
Giving Up
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:02:39 PM
I took my picture off because I was giving up on it. I enjoy the forums so I didn't take my profile off so I could still be involved with talking to people this way. I got one message today from someone without my picture, but you can bet your life after I sent my picture to him I won't be hearing from him again. That is the way it is. I see other girls photos and I don't think I am any better or worse looking than they are. I wish I could find one guy to explain to me what men are actually looking for. I don't have any warts on my nose. I am not disfigured in any way. I could stand t loose a few pounds. I have a good job and my own house. I have a couple of very independant kids who don't give me a lot of trouble. I have my freedom to do whatever I want without having to worry about my kids. It is still not good enough. Guys are looking for the perfect looking women. I find the older and uglier the guy is, the more shallow they are. I guess they feel they need to search until they find the younger more beautiful girl to spend time with him, so he will feel he still can attract the beautiful women and won't settle for anything else until he finds that. The same guys are on every dating site I have looked on for years.. and they wonder why they are still not having any luck. I have to laugh when I see the same guy who rejected me 3 years ago still looking for that super model to fall in love with him. It is funny - but at the same time very sad..
 suehot4u
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 60
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Giving Up
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:44:23 PM
I like what you said to those weman.It's kind of refreashing.
 suehot4u
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 61
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Giving Up
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:53:08 PM
good luck with that it give's other people hope. Thank's to you for writing that. Sue
 suehot4u
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 62
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History
Giving Up
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:07:56 PM
cuddles1961 I got all of you beat, I,ve been separated for ten years , dated a few that seemed really nice in the begining but turned out to be ***holes, pardon the language, Then I thought I meet mister right,He sad he was separated for a year,and we saw each other all the time, every chance we could, I felt like I new him all my life and when we were out some where we only had eyes for each other. I did truely fall in Love with this man only to find out that he was married and because of me ,his wife left him and found someone else and he ended up in couselling to work things out , now he won't answer my phone calls or have anything to do with me. He blames me for his f##### up life.And I,m alone still thinking of the times we did share. If you can beat that I'd love to hear about it. Thanks for taking the time. Sue
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 65
Giving Up
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:28:53 AM

As for me im not fussy nor am i frustrated, all i want is for someone to love me for me is that so hard?


It is a big mistery. I thought that is what everyone wanted. It seems everyone wants to find someone to "love me for me" but doesn't want to do the same for anyone else.
Why can't we just accept and care for people the way they are? If we all did that, no one would be on here for more than a week.

The biggest problem I have is the guys who pretend to be someone they aren't to get what they really want . When that doesn't work and they don't get it right away, they keep looking until they find someone who will or.... they will only spend 5 minutes talking to someone who looks like a super model who doesn't eat or has some kind of eating disorder so she can always fit into a size 2 so everyone will like her. Why would she do that???..... because it is pretty clear that is the only way anyone is going to be accepted is if they look like that. Even the 60 year old fat ugly balding guys don't want anything else. You have to look like you have some disease or have big boobs and show them in your profile picture in order to have someone consider talking to you.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 66
Giving Up
Posted: 6/13/2007 4:42:44 AM

He blames me for his f##### up life.And I,m alone still thinking of the times we did share. If you can beat that I'd love to hear about it.


I would love to know how he could blame you for his **** life.... Didn't he lie to you about being single? How is that your fault?

It is tough because I don't think you always choose who you care about. Most of the time we don't figure out these guys are married until it is too late. I think 99% of the guys in here are married or in a relationship and looking for some 'fun on the side'.. This is an easy way for married guys to find someone because most of the time girls in here are desparate to find a decent caring man so we are an easy target. They know what we are looking for so they be that 'decent caring man' to have his "fun on the side" and we don't want to see reality because we are so happy to finally find what we are looking for.

I feel like a detective trying to find out who the guys really are because usually they aren't who they claim to be. Being married is very easy to figure out, but sometimes we don't want to see it until it is too late. We get tired of meeting people and they are idiots. Married men are so unhappy and feel trapped because they don't want to leave their nagging wifes and be poor paying child support and loose half of what he worked their whole lives for. Instead of doing that he lives a secret life and finds ways to live a double life so he can have a happy relationship with someone else because he will never get what he wants from his wife.. be it sex or something else.... If you find a decent guy to stick around past one night... 99/100 - he is married. There isn't anything we can do about it 0nly be happy to be alone or settle for being someone's secret friend for the rest of our lives.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 74
Giving Up
Posted: 6/14/2007 4:15:12 AM
Lotslove68 and Rita.....really enjoyed reading your posts...you have it dead on... I have said the same thing.. maybe I will find what I am looking for in the old folks home. Maybe by the time guys get 85 - they will grow up.. but I highly doubt it. I have come to the conclusion that guys and girls brains are totally different. They can't see things the way we do. They think the most important thing about a woman is how she looks and there isn't anything we can do to change that. We have to be happy with ourselves and be happy we are not like them - or be married to an idiot like I was for 18 years and not know how to get out of it. I am certainly much happier now - even if I have to live the rest of my life alone.

I'm thoroughly sick of spoiled, superficial people who have grown into narcissistic egomaniacs. What goes around comes around. Nature will even things out.
That is what keeps me going.. The people who treat other people like crap will get it back one day and they will wonder why.
 Wanda49
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 77
Giving Up
Posted: 6/14/2007 2:46:28 PM
It is funny when the 50-60 year old guys want the 25 year old girls. How much do they really have in common? They guys who get the little girls from out of the country because they don't want the average looking women their age who lives in this country. The girls will grap any old guy's attention to get in the country and stay with them as long as they have to so they can take their money. It is sad they would rather be taken advantage of by young little girls than be with someone they may have something in common with. Maybe someone their age doesn't make them feel younger and that is more important... They would rather be alone than settle with someone their age and average looking so they would rather be used to have someone beautiful in their lives and let the girls obviously take advantage of him instead.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 81
Giving Up
Posted: 6/14/2007 5:38:36 PM
I'm sure this has been said, but I'll bring it up again.
First you gotta get OK with being single. Build a life you enjoy,stop thinking you have to have a man in your life to prove that there's not something wrong with you.
Will achieving this happy state bring the men flocking in droves? Not so's you'd notice. But you won't get nearly so p*ssed off and disappointed when a meeting doesn't go well, or it DOES, and you still never hear from the guy again.

I don't want to come off as Little Miss Sunshine, because for awhile I did get stressed out over finding someone( The someone I had for a long time died)until I finally realized that I could be just perfectly fine by myself. I'm not "giving up",by any means, but I've stopped letting it all get under my skin.
And yeah, a lot of men have been burnt,( or THINK they've been) and there are more than a few seeking a "little on the side". But you've just got to accept that stuff like that is gonna happen, try to be aware without being paranoid, and do not beat YOURSELF up if you do get snowed. And I agree that guys can pick up on that "desperate female" signal, so shut that freakin' signal OFF!
Cindy O
 mslingolady
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 82
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History
Giving Up
Posted: 6/24/2007 12:21:37 PM
I just read your post ickydog........wish I had read it sooner as I just made a similar comment on one of the other subject forums which was so very similar.

We all have baggage........men and women..........and as I said on the other post, if someone wants someone with "no baggage" they will look for that someone forever. As whether people admit it or not, we all have some. What strikes me is that , in looking for a long term relationship, why would anyone want to involve themselves with someone who says that they are looking for someone with no baggage? I bet their shoulder would not be there when needed to lean on as we accumulate more "baggage" on on journey through life !!!!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 83
Giving Up
Posted: 7/9/2007 7:48:46 PM

There is no guy alive who will wait 5 minutes to have sex with someone. I don't put out on the first date - that is why no one sticks around. That is all guys want is a one night stand or no- committment sex.


Wrong.

Many people blame the reason why first dates don't turn into second dates or longterm commitment on their refusal to "put out" on aforementioned first date. This is a rationalization and the refusal to admit or understand that maybe, just maybe, there is nothing there to hold the further interest of the date in question.

There are loads of men who will wait five minutes and longer to have sex--I know, I dated many of them. Most (in fact, the vast majority) of those were one-date wonders wherein I sent emails the next day saying, "I'm sorry, there is no spark." I wonder if those guys thought that the reason why they didn't get a second date was because they didn't put out for me on the first date.

If women are consistently finding ONLY men who insist on sex or it's bye-bye, I have to wonder about the caliber of the men whom they are dating.

I do know that it is easier to rationalize and say to one's self, "Oh, he left because I wouldn't have sex with him" than to admit maybe you weren't what he was looking for.


It is funny when the 50-60 year old guys want the 25 year old girls.


Some older men do this, but they are the minority. I have not had a problem attracting men my age . . . younger than me . . . or older than me.

Maybe it is the attitude.
 countryboy_49337
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 86
Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 10:55:53 AM
i hear ya no luck my self if i was rich i feel that some would at least get to know me i am a good person every time i ask any one if thay would like to talk i get no responce or sorry not enterested but its there lose not mine not here just looking for sex or one nite stands but i feel like giveing up my self but i wich you good luck as i need that also
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 87
Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:35:21 PM

You are a bit older, which means men are not as interested in sex anymore. Just be fun and treat him like a man. Act like a little girl and if your guy is smart, he will know you can do those things, but like him to show off his muscles. and compliments do wonders.


What the hell does this mean?

If you are not "older," how do YOU know whether a man or woman is "not as interested in sex anymore"? I've dated them young and I've dated them old, it really depends on the individual.

"Act like a little girl"???? Gag me with a spoon. In which century are you stuck? How does a WOMAN act like a little girl and why should she? Should she wear pigtails and short little skirt accentuated with black patent leather mary-jane shoes? If she acts like one, doesn't that verge on pedophilia???

Women should be women and men should be men.
 markinbxl
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 88
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History
Giving Up
Posted: 7/11/2007 1:35:27 PM

am in the same boat as you ! I'm physically and emotionally worn out ! I met someone last night from this site....thought it went great, we even kissed in the parking lot. I'm betting money that we will never see each other again !

I'm tired of meeting someone, going through the hassle of getting ready, driving to the designated place, eating/drinking, talking, laughing.....and it's all a waste of time !

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong......


Well, it's simple. Sometimes there's chemistry. Sometimes, there's not.

If a man doesn't get back, then he's not interested. Or, if he's interested but doesn't want to look desperate or needy, he may take a few days before getting in touch with you again.

In any case, move on and don't lose hope. You profile looks interesting, and if we weren't half a world away, I'd like to meet you.

So I guess your problem is not really a dearth of suitors....

Mark
 * Succinct *
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 95
Giving Up
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:13:03 PM
I say give up, I have...
 bamablonde758
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 113
Giving Up
Posted: 8/26/2007 3:39:19 PM
I'm with you girl. I have been surfing the net looking for a mate for 2 years also. Maybe that's the magically number before you decide, that daily rejection just isn't for you. I am an intelligent, humorous female who can hold a conversation. I've even tried the not so good looking guys with the same lack of response. I'm not sure where all these guys go, but apparently into a big black hole somewhere! I hope they're all having a good time together. In the meantime, I'm gonna just take a little "me" time, and maybe once my self esteem is back up - try again!

Keep your chin up! It's not you - it's them.
 LordofArachnids
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 119
Giving Up
Posted: 9/2/2007 5:11:23 AM
sounds like you give up pretty easily, dating was never meant to be easy, at any age, it takes patience, we all have to weed through a lof of bad ones or ones that are not a good fit before we get to right one
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