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 Vixen08
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 9
Too many children?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Like someone said Id ask why and what happend...there is a story behind each of those babies daddies...unless 3 kids is just all together to much to handle since they werent yours?
 Soanes
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 16
Too many children?
Posted: 5/26/2007 10:19:55 PM
Alex, I’m curious.
Are you asking about the number of children one woman should have?
How many kids someone should have?
Or the number of fathers vs. the number of children?
Or at what age a woman should have children?
Or stop having children?
 missmew0305
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 20
Too many children?
Posted: 5/27/2007 5:42:13 AM
It is hard enough to try to schedule time alone with two single people, let alone having to co-ordinate times with four different exes, (children's visitation etc).


The father of one of my children was abusive and he has absolutely nothing to do with my life. The father of my three other children was always in and out of our life until last year when I made him choose either he was in or he was out... he chose out, so he no longer has anyhing to do with my life. And the father of the child I am currently carrying made it quite clear that he wants nothing to do with me or this child-to-be so I don't anticipate him every being a part of my life.

So, yes, I have five kids from three different fathers but seeing that none of them are actually involved, there is really no coordination to be done with respect to visitation. My children are with me ALL the time, so when I meet that special someone (assuming he doesn't have any children that he has to share with any ex's), we would live like a "normal" family.

Lots of people judge me, especially here on POF, but in the end, I strongly believe that my soulmate is still out there and when I find him, he will feel as blessed as I do to have all these beautiful children.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Too many children?
Posted: 6/5/2007 4:38:56 PM
I have 2 kids with my Ex husband and I take parenting very seriously. I cannot imagine meeting three or four men in the course of my child bearing years that ALL made me want to procreate. Birth control is so easy and available. I would worry about the person's far too easy going attitude about bringing children into the world. Kids are a lifetime commitment and a huge financial and emotional burden if you are not ready.
 brandy_n_3
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 26
Too many children?
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:32:08 AM
I have am expecting my 4th child, betwen the 4 their is 3 different dads. If someone looked at that an said, forget it without knowing the full story they are missing out. My first 2 are from my marriage, the 2nd 2 are from sperm donors, and I do not mean sperm donors in the sense many single moms list their jerk ex, but actual donors. So there is only 1 ex, whom we have no contact with, and 2 very planned fatherless children. Don't judge a book by it's cover goes the line, without questoning further you will never know what has gone on to create those children etc.
 Bliss92
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 28
Too many children?
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:33:29 PM
I'm 23, and have 3 children - all from the same man, and I had been married 6 or 7 months before I ever got pregnant with my first child. Our first 2 were planned (to an extent), and yes, the third was a "whoops" - but it happened with both the use of the depo shot AND condoms, so anyone saying we weren't trying to protect ourselves can go take a flying leap. Yet, I still get stereotyped into being one of those young teens who couldn't keep her legs closed. Especially now that my husband and I aren't together, I'm just the typical whore who doesn't know how to use birth control.

While it still gets annoying, I couldn't care less that people judge me anymore. Why? Because I married my husband thinking I would be with him forever - and we CHOSE to have children young, so we could live our lives when we were older, and have the energy to devote everything we could to our children while we were young. If I had known, or thought, that we wouldn't be together now, bringing children into this world wouldn't have been an option.

Don't be so quick to judge. Sure, there are those who tramp around town, and you're just going to be the next sucker in line. Then there are others, who have a real story as to why their in the position they're in. And as far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter how you got there, but what you do once you're there. Some can't break the pattern. Other's are just unjustly labeled.
 dooly
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 37
Too many children?
Posted: 10/31/2007 8:02:00 PM
Why is this post mostly about women with kids from multiple fathers? (doesn't apply to me of course, married almost 7 years, kids came 3 and 6 years in, hit the lottery and got the boy and girl complete set, so tubes were tied immediatly)
But I digress.
I would LOVE to see the statistics on how many children the average male ACTUALLY fathers in thier lifetime (including the ones they don't know about). I'd be willing to bet it puts the female numbers to shame.
Better yet, how many of those men are full time parents to all those kids? Just cause you can't see those kids doesn't mean they aren't there.
I am so sick of a society that views women as utter garbage because they didn't walk out on thier kids and by the same stroke will applaud a man, who can seemingly have a couple kids with one woman, walk out find a girl at the drop of a hat and have a couple kids with her, and then walk out on them too ultimately.
Both sexes are to blame in this scenario and both should be considering what they can provide emotionally and financially to the children that came first before endeavoring to create more. And really I don't mean to offend, but unless you have a whole lot of money and a ton of family to make sure that every child is getting what they need who in thier right mind is going to bring 6 children into this world. That to me is horrifying.
 sedusa
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Too many children?
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:44:48 PM
I dont think there is such a thing as to many children. Im not saying that everyone should have tons of kids, but why fault them that do, or vice versa.

I have a daughter who has 4 kids and they all have different dads, but does this mean that something is wrong with her, no. It means choices were made possibly not all for the right reasons, but who always makes the right choices?

I have 6 children, and one of them is not a child of mine by birth. There are 3 fathers for all these children. The first father and I were together for 11yrs, and then we parted ways. Second father I married, and he had some habits that I couldnt abide him not changing once we had a child so we parted ways. The last was a child of love though I loved that man more than he loved me. If you were to ask me if I think my children are stigmatized by not all having the same father I would have to say no. Nor do I think it makes someone a bad person.

All my children are grown now except for the last two, and I have grandchildren that I love dearly. Intelligence and having lots of kids dont always tie in together.....what I mean is that your arent necessarily unintelligent if you have many children and they have different fathers.

To each their own!
 beerbag
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 49
Too many children?
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:54:19 PM
Too many kids, too many dads and no room for me.

I alway have to wonder about people that have many children with many different partners. I'll never be curious enough to date one but I will watch Jerry for five or ten minutes.
 tlgirll
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 58
Too many children?
Posted: 2/3/2009 11:43:21 AM
In your case, if I ran a woman under those circumstances – young, that many kids, that many different daddies – I’d be disgusted. The same as I’d be disgusted by a man that would have the same number of kids with different women. That screams irresponsibility to me and I would be totally turned off by that person and have no interest in pursing a relationship of any sort with them.
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