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 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 53
What is your take on mail order brides?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
The best and most obvious justification for a man to seriously consider finding a foreign 'Mail Order Bride' is the shrill, overdone, almost anger filled, half truth and off target comments put out by some of the women on this thread . . .

If some American women wanted to find and meet a foreign 'Mail Order Husband - then it would just fine and dandy -- what ever can allow happiness to enter her life is what is correct and true.

For every one controlling - overbearing man who is considering a Mail Order Bride or has already got one -- there are FIVE quite normal men who are considering it or have already married that fine educated, talented loving woman from Russia, Ukraine, Lativa, etc., etc.

A man who is fool enough to not perform the due diligence required in checking out all aspects of future mail order bride will be the same fool who would fail to do it when meeting and marrying a American or Canadian woman he meets in a singles group or on-line.

There are about 6000 Mail Order Bride Marriages in the U.S. every year and have been since the middle '90's. The failure rate is no greater than marriages brought about by Personal Ads and Match Making / Dating sites like POF.

The truth hurts - Read Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and maybe you find a good man. Men seek in a woman - kindness, moral support, acceptance, cooperation, sexual interest, and many similar things. None of these things have anything to do with submission or subservience - just decent loving treatment.

Joe
 misticspear
Joined: 12/6/2006
Msg: 55
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 8:57:26 AM
the funny part of the topic is this. M.O.B. are not what they seem on the surface i happpend to hear something about it on N.P.R and even now i dont pretend to know the half of it. But this is what gets me. Why call them sex slaves ect. i mean last time i check there were plenty of women here who would date you for money and do all that garbage i mean there is a dating site called sugar daddies common now. For the women that means one less guy that you would have more than likely turn down for the other guys one less competitor in this already seemingly over crowded pool of bachlors. Its one of the few times it is win win for everyoone
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 56
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:28:15 AM
Good people and bad people come from everywhere , online and catalogs make the pool bigger , some characteristics in people can no longer be easily found in this country, people here care too much about certain things that in other countries is not even noticed or just given very little priority or vice versa , cultures are all different , some seem more family oriented others more career and self .

mmm yes there is alot of tension because of hearsay , conjecture etc... people make up stuff as they go. learn about it a little more before burning it down , where do you think you are at ? this is like mail order exactly but much closer or mmm if I write to a woman for months or a year , is she not like a mail order bride ? In a catalog form ? This is out catalog , what the herll is the difference beteen here a woman from canada and a girl from lets say asia or africa for example , everybody who has something negative are saying people from other countries are morally , intellectually and self woth inferior to us , we the people who speak english or some other 1 st world accepted language , I have been there and done that.

My father out of the vietnam war wanted to find himself a wife , he saw too much free love , promiscuity, lack of traditional values and he being ethnically mexican but a 5th generation californian us american , he was shunned a bit more and was not tall , but had a great job and hobbies, had some money ... he turned to a mail order bride my mom, he found a beautiful girl , he was 30 she was 21 with movie star looks and was from an upper middle class family that had some grocery stores . My dad was not beauty challenged , well now he is , old and saggy but my mom still really pretty .

The married and had 8 kids ...MY mom was always in charge of the house and finances , she would tell my dad she was there to lessen his burden and all he had to do was to work and come back home, he later taught her to drive and paid for her college .

we never EVER saw them fight ever ever , always like best of friends and with 8 kids that is hard to hide if they ever had a fight after all these years .

All of us (children ) asked them how they met .... they were both in a catalog and he wrote to her for 56 months before visiting her ,

They did not get married in love , they said that came later after overcommming being friends with attraction.

They adore eachother , when my mom is gone for days visiting family a thousand miles away my dad seems lost and moody , and when he is gon my mom is all worried calling him everyday when is is out camping or something .

I had alot of problems in school being cronically geeky and socially challenged , I was the skinny little runt with thick glasses that got beat up everyday , never got a date in high school , not even after contacts and a sister made make over .

I did what my dad did , I really did not want to do it , it seemed desperate, I was 19 a dateless virgin, I was treated like a leaper by american women ,

So I bought a paper catalog that had women all over the world including usa women, I tried USA women but I guess my napoleon dynomite looks did not impress them , I wrote to a mexican girl that lived close by at the otherside of the border , she was dirt poor , made only 50 bucks a weeks , lived alone and had no living family , she was 18 , yes great candidate for getting usa papers and leaving me poor , yeah that is what you think ? I chose what I wanted and what was good for me in the catalog , I contacted many of them at 20 bucks a pop to the catalog company .

We got married 2 years later , she never moved from mexico, she wanted me to move down there and I did and crossed the border everyday to work , she had me buy cheap dirt land and we built a house , I was a poor janitor at the time , she was a jewel , helped me save money , motivated me to go to college and even helped in several ways so I could get the job I have now , she built my house, by contracting workers , she was the architect for my house down there .

Everyday she would bring junk from a second hand store or garbage and refurbish furniture , she did not spen my money and again we never fought, she was my best friend, my surfing companion , my car show painter and upholsterer, she was my partner, she died 3 years ago in a san diego hospital , I have no regrets .

Her last words was I love you , I will be gone soon , find another to love , you deserve not to be alone.

Yes those women are not hookers as some jealous women state here , they are like you and me .... people who one day want to be happy , with some scammers imbedded , this site also has scammers or are they all perfect.

I do not want to do the foreign woman thing again , I no longer want to be reminded of my departed wife , I want an american girl , so far I date alot but most women I find are unacceptable for a relationship, anger issues , personality issues because of being spoiled , materialism to the extreme, some want to make a family until past 30 .
SOme are so used to having sex with so many men and with no concience that it worries me about fidelity , I am very faithful , single and no sex married and sex .

Another part , no one is in charge of teaching about running a house and rearing children, I see a big mess in usa peoples houses very often , offensive children and alot of fighting, it is about how the parents men and women are educated about family , they no longer are .

My brother married a nice girl , regular american girl , he is a great guy , warm hearted and easy going , he is stressing out , he cooks cleans , takes care of the 2 children and goes to work at night because his wife says that she is not his slave, not the beaver cleaver woman but independent and liberated , he cooks dinner every night , works at night, she has been unfaithful and he forgives , he is a though handsome strong guy , he complains about his wife never being there for home and family , always working her career, he told me he with stick to her until death but he is dying inside , he wished he would have gotten a wife like mine , easygoing , not emotionally bruttal like his wife .

Not saying that mail order is all nice and perfect but it gives more choices, no one really of quiality looks for a slave partner , we want to look for a best friend and lover not one that seeks to control and stomp us down becuse of an agressive power struggle like first world americans have been taught, my wife bossed me around for the most part but she was so pleasant , sweet and caring , I could never say no to her . <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
 Man_with_a_Dream
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 57
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History
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:34:51 AM
OK this is how it works, you find someone you want to meet and you write one another VIA a interpreter, after awhile you have to fly over to meet them, after meeting them several times you have to contact the US consulate and the Russian consulate, as well the Lady that wants to come back here has to get a Physical and a clean bill of health,

You have to pay for all of this Once this is done you have to wait for the US to allow her a Marriage Visa then she can come over to the US So in reality there is no SO called mail order they come here you marry them.

So much paper work and so much money to be shelled out.

There was a Special on TV about this and they explained it all I watched because i was curious as to the whole thing, (Not that i could ever afford this because i am a poor man).

The majority of the Russian women they interviewed was if you was a Russian man and u got married or just got her pregnant and he left there is no child support...

it is all on the woman over there there is no child support court...

So women over there want Guys here they are happy for the most part because the guy takes care of them they don't care if they have to stay home, and he makes the money because they are taken care of along with there kids ... and they don't really worry about looks,

why would they if you have enough money to Fly to Russia 10 times or more to get her here you got enough money to support her... Also they interviewed the men that went there as well they said going there was like going to a bar full of women and u was the only guy so in part he said he could get laid 4-5 times a day just dating the women that wanted a guy here.......

No i am not saying that there is not some gold diggers it happens everywhere and the whole idea mail order is almost like this site, I live in the US if i meet someone in Canada and the cost of meeting them and working to get them a marriage Visa is the same there is always rules and so the saga continues People making fun of someone doing this but in reality we are sorta doing the same thing at times.......

sddude Sorry to Hear about you wife and hope you Find someone like her again<B/>

Jim
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 58
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:40:09 AM
From what I have observed, guys who lack social skills and cannot get along with women of their own culture seem to resort to mail order brides. Women who feel trapped in their own countries, use these marriages as a way to escape.

Case in point: there is a guy who I have known for over 30 years (a friend of friends), alcoholic, lived off and on with his parents, and could not hold a job. The good thing that you can say about him is that he has skiied a lot during the winter and has surfed all over the world. We used to crack jokes that his middle age crisis would be settling down and getting married.

In his mid-forties, he married a twenty-five year old Filipina (who is bright and fun) and then worked on bringing her over here. They are still trying to bring her son from a previous relationship over here. In the meantime, she has been known to take off for days at a time, he managed to get them evicted from an apartment, got arrested for drunk driving, but...she has her green card. My friends are always saying that she really earned it.
 Man_with_a_Dream
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 61
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History
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:02:59 AM
THERE is no Difference in mail order bride and dating site you pay no matter what this site is free but if someone lives 200 miles from you,,, it still means you are paying to go see them if you get married it still means you have to pay to get them moved , it still means if they have kids that you provide for the kids as well,, so Mail order is not different just more expensive.... so lets look at it like this say you was on Vacation in France and you meet someone and fell in love and wanted to get married you are still going to have to go through the same as a mail order bride.... now on here you meet someone you talk via e-mail then on the phone Basiclly this is mail order because you did not meet in person at 1st you meet on the internet..... you call it internet dating but it is really mail order


Jim
 dimmu borgir
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 62
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:44:37 AM
Dude that post was awesome!!!!! brought tears to my eyes and gave me a new perspective! im sorry for your wife! and that sux about your brother!
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 63
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:51:12 AM
Still it seems that some of the responses that women have given , still do not understand or close their eyes and ears not to understand , dating is much harder for guys beleive it or not , from trying to date plain janes or pretty hotties , a guy goes to a bar , women are like 1 for each guy and they have a better pick for a guy, sometimes I have left a bar without even being able to talk to a girl , the women want really good looking guys becuase the ratio makes it good for them , here on this site , I probably would not believe a guy who can say he gets one message a week for a year from a woman , women here also are the same as the ones in a bar , 5 guys for each girl and waaaaay more mails that guys do , women RARELY initiate contact or for me never get initiated , RARELY get responses to my many mails to them , to most in my area.

Ok and women here are wondering why guys look to other countries , why7 complian if you do not persue or initiate to get guys , why even complain if a guy goes elsewhere for beter luck ? Do you care that guys want to be happy or are you in an anti happy compain ? Why piss on the parade , if women here are sooo perfect why does divorse exist in a high rate ? All men's fault , we are all horrible idiots and are the cause of divorce ? We bad guys and good guys , just want to be happy , I have gotten only 2 mails in 2 years , how many of you women have gotten mails at that low rate , even the sex ones count , guys would like to get sex offers too .

Okay how can american women fix it so guys will not look elsewhere ? But you claim we are losers, bad men looking for slaves , why do you care anyhow? Afraid that the guy you like but never contact will go and look for that young nice respectful family oriented 25 year old versus an american women that are very difficult to contact and do not initiate anything because of competition ?

I have no luck on the net , I have pretty good luck in the real world but women in this country for the most part are not really family oriented no matter how much you can state that you take care of family and home , duh yeah , when you have kids and divorced a guy , that is what you HAVE to do , guys like me just want a woman who would like to do that ... be family oriented and brought up like that , I am family oriented , I do the house work and even babysit for some female friends that date other guys because they are taller and better looking than I .... so I look outside also like some other gents around here ,

If I am 40 one day and still single , I would not think twice in marrying a woman of any age as long as she loves me and wants a family and it would probably be a woman from another country because that kind of woman is getting rare in this country, unless she already has kids and needs help .
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 65
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:18:18 PM
I have a hunch that the men who are the mail order brides husband are fat, overweight, abusive men with very bad hygiene ...who are very unattractive and authoritarian...
and that is much of why they have to go to such extremes to get a woman as to order her. I am betting not one of those men who order the brides are good looking, likable guys who are mentally and physically balanced.
Those men are more likely to be pretty bad as no women in a 2000 mile radious is interested
 Man_with_a_Dream
Joined: 12/31/2005
Msg: 67
view profile
History
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 2:23:41 PM
DRG


Yes they Don't get Some will and some will not but in the end they the ones that don't get it think they are better... Well let me look at this for a sec

Women all have hair they all have eyes they all have arms legs feet toes hands and Brain But the one thing they do not have is compassion and a Heart!!!
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 69
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 2:46:36 PM
I worked with many of those mail order brides when I was in the states. Apparently you need to get yourself a mail order bride since you seem to want to learn the hard way
 phine_likker
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 74
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 4:14:07 PM
I think it is easier to control a woman when you control her pocketbook, economic means of survival..


European women are the freaking best women on the planet .


well, in your opinion..


They are still women and they know what a man is .


is a man the guy who beats them when they get 'out of line' ?

They are not all me me me all the time !!!!


I should move back.


Hundreds of flights leaving daily, don't let anyone here stop ya!

waah, waah, waah, it's SO MUCH better where I come from, I should go back..

a Clue? : no-one wants to hear it!

And they are thin for the most part too , they know the value of staying sexy...
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 78
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:15:13 PM
drg why does it make you call people controlling since they do not agree with you? I personally would RUN.. and I mean RUN if I ever met any man who had a mail order bride as a wife... if he is married to her or even divorced from one.. and especcially if he had one who died or disapeared... the fact is most women would.
 harviej
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 82
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History
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:37:20 PM
Mail order? My take? 20%
depending on volume.

Oh you mean what do I THINK?
Oh.
That depends on the return policy doesn't it?
Is there a hidden service charge?

Someone check my calendar.
I think my effin time machine worked!!!
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 83
view profile
History
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:39:54 PM
I wish I could Mail Order me outta here I would be gone in a Heartbeat
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 84
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/30/2007 9:02:30 PM
my biggest question is -- how do you fit the bride into the mailbox?
 FitFunLawyer
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 87
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/31/2007 5:55:39 AM
Mail orders take 2 years in Australia to turn into the lazy, nagging, ****ing, no housework, women are equal nutcases that guys who mail order were trying to avoid in the first place.

I mean if men wanted equals we would marry another man, we just want someone to cook, clean and sleep with. Unfortunately this is way too much for the modern woman who puts career first and having a family last. I laugh hard when I see these mid 30's women hitting the biological panic button and wondering why no man is interested in them despite them being a successful business woman. They just have not worked out that they have none of the qualities men are looking for, youth, beauty, fertility and obedience.

Anyhow I have to go back to responding to my fan mail.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 88
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:56:13 AM
Dear sddude:

WHAT A GREAT STORY about your father and I am glad you found happiness with your wife - at least for a while.

Your post says it all about so called Mail Order Brides - it is such a positive wholesome story.

Good luck in finding another wife - you deserve it.

Many people on this thread are not paying attention that in the old west in the mid 1800's give or take 30-50 years - Mail Order Brides from Back East were very common and helped settle the Western U.S. and most people considered it a very good thing.

For women who think MOB is a bad idea then they should be more out reaching and accepting of the men on POF. Keeping men at arms length as so many POF women do - only causes men to look for other solutions.

Joe
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 89
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 5/31/2007 8:11:14 AM
Dear anatomynurse

Without taking a scolding attitude at all - I believe your words are an over reaction. A few posts by men on this thread deserve your response - but most do not.

I was married once - she was a very good woman. I had a 10 year live in and she was a very good woman. I'd just like to find another woman of their caliber - but it takes a receptive mind to do that and I find little reception on POF.

I personally don't have too many complaints about American women - except lack of attention. Men want to rank in a fairly high priority with their wife/girlfriend - but all too often we find we are way down the list. For me - attention, affection, respect, goes a long way. When men can't find these things at home (USA) he just may look elsewhere.

I suspect that many American men feel as I do -- just pay attention to me - interact with me - and that should preclude nagging and writing 'honey do' lists.

It is probably true - some men may not deserve what I describe - but I think I do and so do many other men.

There are too many walls between men and women in the U.S. I just ask women to open some doors through those walls - consider a bit of risk.

Joe
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 90
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 6/6/2007 8:47:51 PM

I know a man a few years ago who did this - married a lady from the Phillipines. It was basically a "mail order" situation.

According to him, the reason he did it was because he wanted someone who "acts like a wife" in his words. I was shocked by that statement!
He explained he had met too many women here that don't cook, clean, and spend too much time watching tv .....

WOW I had no idea any man thought like that ... at least to THAT extreme. He is the only person I have heard of anyone who went to that extreme to get married so I don't know if that is the reason other people do it or not.

and no, if you are wondering, they are not still together. She got her citizenship, took his money, and ran off LOL

So much for the perfect wife


This post scares me. Why is it that a man that wants someone as a wife scares you? I had a wife that didn't cook, clean, and spent most of her time watching television. It was a pathetic excuse for a marriage, and she was a pathetic excuse for a woman. She eventually moved on to bigger and better things... like using children to sell drugs at the local elementary school.

If I ever get married again, which is doubtful at this point, I want a wife that is willing to share the household responsibilities, cook, clean and is interested in making my house our home. Anything less is unacceptable. The trade off though is this.... I'll help her be what she wants to be. Care for her. Protect her (this is my choice and your right reguardless if you accept it or not). And be a Husband to her.

So whiel I would not take a mail order bride, I do have to say that if the culture produced women that are not selfish, arrogant and pompous, then I would like to sign up myself, but too many are getting "westernized" and worthless.
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 91
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 6/6/2007 8:52:30 PM

I dont think its got anything to do with economic power to be honest. I think its to do with making do. I really believe that men are more driven by sex than women. Same reason there arnt a great deal of women that go to male prostitutes I think. It just doesnt happen. Too much testosterone and too much cash -thats the problem! lol


Yes, I agree. Men are driven by sex more than women. I can also tell you that of all of the men that I have ever spoken to that have looked into a mail order bride, their reason is far simpler. They are tired of women treating them like trash, saying that they are sex driven, and trampling on thier hearts to get to their wallets.

Sometimes stop talking at a local restaurant and just listen to the women talking at their tables. It is absolutely horrifiying. I can assure you that no matter HOW pretty she is, if she is cracked and broken and so selfish that she is a miserable burden, then I most assuredly don't want her.
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 92
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 6/6/2007 8:59:49 PM

If men want to purchase ladies from oversea's then so be it. Its up to them, they are trying to find something that makes them happy thats all and if they have to pay for a woman to marry them because they are so illequiped to get one for free - let them! lol


The question you really have to ask is this. What is it about american women that is so bad that they go out of the country to find a wife. I researched this once for a while. Almost every one of them I met said about the same thing. AMerican women are selfish, self centered, think of themselves above everyone else, and have no skills to bring into the marriage. One guy even went as far as to say that his wife was more useful to and respectful of her boss at work than she was of him. I think he actually saind something like this... her bos tells her to jump and she jumps. He asks her to do something and the first thing out of her mouth is "Who do you think you are? My boss?"

They are divorced now. She blames him.
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 94
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 6/6/2007 9:13:03 PM
There are Mail Order Brides (Matchmaking services) even now. It is not illegal and many a woman that was sick of the dating game has given herself to one of the services to stop the cycle. When you go into a marriage with a commitment that no matter what (except abuse) you are going to tough it out, then you get a good marriage. ALso, most of these "serives" amke sure that there is a structure in the household that the woman is going into. Without a structure, there is no stability. With no stability, there is no peace. Without peace, the marriage will not last.
 Pronide
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 107
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 7/15/2007 10:12:36 PM
Think its stupid...if you have to pay for a bride your pretty desperate is what I think.
 Pronide
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 108
What is your take on mail order brides?
Posted: 7/15/2007 11:03:40 PM
Your an ass gideon.....just your whole view point of American women is pathetic its no wonder your single....also do you really expect us too believe the story of your wife using children too sell drugs ?yeah you mine as well go get yourself a mail order bride I dont think no normal thinking American women's going too want the like's of you.
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