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 JC1967
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 200
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.Page 4 of 57    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
I don't know...It seems to me that the majority of women here in Michigan want guys that treat them like crap..They leave him and go back to him over and over and over..I grew up in Texas and the women down there don't put up with that crap. If the guy treats them like crap then he's outta there. Shoot, I won't stay with a women who treats me like crap no matter how pretty she is. I give a women 2 chances..First time it is shame on her..Second time it is shame on me and there won't be a third chance.
 music_man_canada
Joined: 8/26/2005
Msg: 212
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Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/24/2007 11:35:11 PM
Just my two cents man,

Some women recognize strength and character not just in who you are, or who you're trying to be, but also, your inner strength and character.

I've read a quote "character is only determined by what you do when no one is watching"

If you don't have an identity of your own man, nothing to talk about, nothing to share, nothing particularly unique about you, what makes you 'above average' ? There's plenty of guys out there with morals.. and there's plenty of nice guys that have money etc etc.. I've seen the richest nice guys being the poorest quality of people because they're utterly, experience-less!

When I say identity.. When the love of your life is describing you to your friends, what things would she brag you up about after they figure out you love her?

I can think of ten ideas.. see if you can get where I'm coming from. These would give any woman bragging rights she'd tell all her friends about..
1) You're a fantastic cook. (so take some cooking classes lol)
2) You're an avid reader/writer and you have such great conversations about it.. (get it? Read something interesting. The library is free)
3) You're a great skier, mountain climber, football player, baseball player, golfer, (you get the picture you sports nut, you)
4) You're big into the health scene (Join a gym, take her jogging, make friends and pipes)
5) You work a great job, you work hard, and you're successful. (more about status than money)
6) "I know nothing about cars, but my boyfriend is real good at fixing them (interested in mechanics? You're useful, and it's a bragging right for her)
7) "you should hear him sing/play banjo/piano/guitar, etc he's awesome" (brag brag brag) - don't underestimate any forms of expression on that one.. trust me..
8) He's such a softie.. his kitty cat is such a suck (dumb pet tricks.. spend time with your cat LOL)
9) He's been to Asia, Africa, Malaysia, Germany, Italy, France, London, Paris, (take a trip!)
10) He's totally NUTS! (run with the bulls once in Pamplona.. live to tell the tale young buck.. every scar is experience hehe)

Dude, it's not always about 'nice' it's about what she finds in you for substance, experience, and uniqueness from everyone else! Whatever ya do, don't sit and grumble..
keep living life, and the experience will get you the girl.. you've already got the right attitude towards women. Now take on some life stories.
 Sneaks1957
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 216
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/29/2007 5:32:33 PM
What you said is quiet true, how you put it was a bit harsh. I can still go your way somewhat with harsh, that being, only if the man moans and groans constantly about, "Why a did she go?". You must build your confidence up and keep your head up. If she does not want you, then let her go, forcing the issue will only put a huge gulf between you and her.

The same goes for the ladies, not all men are saints you know!

~Sneaks
 Bart The Monkey
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 217
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/29/2007 5:37:30 PM
Dude,

I am not quite certain why there is so much cause for envy and anger, you see we all have our own personalities and we sometimes click with certain people and we sometimes do not. In fact, a chemistry, can be equated to eperiences- backgrounds and not so much in the physical laws of attraction. It's kind of like soft intelligence and if the rest of the package is there, it will evolve, this does not mean that you are meant to be together.

Timing in peoples lives are key, maturity and direction of two people are also key components, for this reason when a a man or a woman get to know each other, why do you think that is, it is to find out if they connect or if there is chemistry, meaning background, current and future goals. Our personalities are shaped from experiences, although our personalities will change to a few degrees in our lives, basically we remain the same.

Some people choose to be angry for competitive reasons , yet the absolute reason behind this , are insecurites from within, which is a control issue which also suggests confidence and self-esteem challenges.

Yet no matter what in life, we will all meet someone that we can connect with, regardless of our challenges. The key is to find yourself first and than we will know what we really need, as long as we are truthful from within, as than the real person will come out and that is where the atttraction will progress.

Women are nurturers by nature and they can feel what men do not feel and therefore, they know if a man is real or not, providing they are comfortable with themselves from within and are seeking a relationship for healthy reasons and this applies to men also.

Thanks,

Perry
 mariadelasilva
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 218
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/29/2007 5:39:05 PM
I agree with alot of the ladies on this site except one.

Some women who reject men that purchasing them everything is because they feel he is weak or easily manipulatable. It is best to show his effections for her through his words, and support when all hell in her life is going wrong. It is nice on special occasions for gift, but not 24/7. If you spoil something, it's never what you expected it to be later, because greed kicks in and even thou it was good intentins turns out wrong.
Now, other women have been used for so long or hurt so many times, she doesn't realize a good thing, until she looses it. I believe therapy would be the best for both parties, one would be why she does what she does and the other is why he feels he needs to buy her love.
 Mr.Santiago
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 219
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/29/2007 5:46:46 PM
It’s really too bad that the only persecute for a relationship is, being NICE. What a pleasant world it would be.
 Bart The Monkey
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 220
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/29/2007 5:52:25 PM
Hi Mary.

Just some insight here, I grew up as a foster child and was beaten by women as a child and I have no anger or resentment towards them as I was in several foster homes. I had my nose broken and my left arm broken as a child.

In fact I love women and also understand women who are angry and women who are not, yet we all have choices and it is our morality as a human being which will foster your environment and your inner circles.

It is not okay to beat a woman and nor is it okay to beat a man or a child and if people think that an eye is for an eye when it comes to this, than I am very happy that I am not blind and believe that people should learn to mentor other people and themselves so that this will not create more anger by confirming actions by promoting violence as this is one of the very reasons why relationships in our world today, do not seem to last for alot of folks.

All negative attributes and actions is what will grow our future generations, so for those of whom have children and promote anger as a conflict resolution, chances are high that our children will grow up duplicating abusive environments as a result of our own reactions and actions to our experiences.

Certainly, nobody wants that in our own children, so it starts with us as Adults.

If we as people could only look at every experience as a learning one, we would be alot more successful and so would our peers. as this would transcend upward and downward in the hiearchy of life for generations to come.

Thanks,

Perry
 Mr.Santiago
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 222
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/29/2007 6:41:39 PM
I man, you women... lol. Yeah, that would also be a plesant world.
 JIMLiSHous
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 223
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/29/2007 7:02:32 PM
I read an article about this, and it had to do with what us guys can do and what women can't do. Us guys can step out the door and do anything we want at any time, day or night and feel safe, women can't. So if your a women ,you have to be always careful and watch what you do. What kind of life is that? Which means a rather dull shutin existance so what happens when a bad boy shows up and offers freedom , excitment adventure, that's right they go for it. Nice guts finish last not because it's there fault girls just want to shed the shackles of there lives. Now if a girl was built like Arnold Shwarzanagor? whole new ballgame. Nice guys would finish first.
 ritawayward
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 228
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2007 8:36:51 AM
[Spelling Lesson:

To - Proposition as in: "I will go to the store."

Too - adverb as in: "I need to go, too." ]


OMG!!!! a spelling lesson?
Its PREPosition not PROP!!!

A proposition is what alot of people are doing on this thread without really saying it!
 Mr.Santiago
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 230
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:36:24 AM

Pure and simple, there IS a difference, between friendship and romantic attraction. Maybe it's just my experience, but the women who have been in my life, are women who were turned on sexually, and responded to me being a dominant male, who wasn't trying to be a "girlfriend", or allowing her to dictate the "terms".


Mello, what makes you think that being nice or accommodating to a woman makes you less of a man. You sound like a typical 50's Neanderthal who tells his wife to leave the room while he has man talk. I can be nice and not be weak... there is a difference for the rest of us.


I've found that, looking a woman in the eyes, and telling her "I want to **** you" has brought more real "connection", than saying "Is there anything else I can do for you, ma'am?"


So, you’re aggressive sexually. Thanks for sharing. I'm sure there are lots of woman out there who can't wait to get together now. Maybe you can put on an episode of Leave it to Beaver in the background while you spend an aggressive 5 minutes.
 Mr.Santiago
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 232
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2007 10:00:59 AM

I'm sure that you will find a woman, with whom you are well matched, based on being "nice" with each other. For me, that overly "nice" dynamic lacks the things I am looking for in a relationship. That's not to say that I'm not courteous, respectful, and caring. It DOES mean, that the woman I want in an intense and intimate relationship, is responding to her libido, as I am to mine, more than it's about how well I do as a sycophant.


First I'm not looking for my well matched women.

Apparently you're a nice guy afterall... I stand corrected.
 ritawayward
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 233
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2007 12:27:24 PM
hehe! Nice try Melo!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 Bart The Monkey
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 243
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 6/30/2007 9:17:39 PM
Hi MeloFelo,

How are you. I appreciate your comments. Indeed a man should be allowed to be a man, yet that means the need in the requirement for a woman to be a woman, regardless of the relationship and timing in one's life.

Women, you can't disagree with me on this, absolutely, they search for their Knight in Shining Armour, admitingly or not, they do subconsciously and consciously, yet a man will be as this, if they feel that she is with he and together they can share their animal instincts and be little animals in the garden or wherever........

All men feel like we need to protect and when a woman let's us do that, we are proud and secure. Do not create an argument with this Melofelo as your nickname and comments represents itself well.

To hold and to protect is why we as men are men, yet we can't be ready as a man if we are insecure with relationships that have no foundation for progress, as than, this reciprocates and delivers an abusive environment and for some, it evolves into anger and for opposite sexes, it shapes their opinions and also impacts their outlook in relationships as they go forward. In other words, some women and some men, become less trusting and more cautious and close the door to effective communication as a result of experiencing negative environments.

The animal instinct is one entity, women are feelers and nurturers, yet they still require the sensitive and caring entity once the protector and animal hunger has been fulfilled.

Make sense.

Let me know.

PS: I love this forum, some great and constructive theories.

Perry
 agoramatic
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 249
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 12:44:31 AM
I love how all these girls are saying "Well, the attraction just isn't there," when, ironically, the fact of the matter is the REASON the attraction isn't there is precisely BECAUSE the guy is nice!

Women aren't attracted to overly nice guys. On a gut, animal level, they just aren't. For psychological and/or evolutionary reasons, they inevitably find themselves drawn more towards jerks and and pricks that ignore them or don't give them the time of day. You see, women want a challenge, they want to feel that the guy is of a status that is higher than them, because this guy in turn would then raise her own status by hooking up with him.

It's a complicated mess of illogical, irrational, social, biological, and status-related factors that make women not "attracted" to nice guys, and more "attracted" to mean guys that are above them in some way. Take it from the great David DeAngelo who says, "Hey, no one said women are logical."
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 250
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:53:40 AM

I love how all these girls are saying "Well, the attraction just isn't there," when, ironically, the fact of the matter is the REASON the attraction isn't there is precisely BECAUSE the guy is nice!

Not exactly true. Either we're not attracted to begin with, or we are attracted and the guy kills the attraction by having no backbone. VERY rarely will a woman become attracted to someone based on their behavior if they aren't already.

Women aren't attracted to overly nice guys. On a gut, animal level, they just aren't. For psychological and/or evolutionary reasons, they inevitably find themselves drawn more towards jerks and and pricks that ignore them or don't give them the time of day. You see, women want a challenge, they want to feel that the guy is of a status that is higher than them, because this guy in turn would then raise her own status by hooking up with him.

Yes, empty superficial women - you're right. Why do you care what works on them? Women of some substance and quality will NOT react positively to arrogance and poor treatment. Your problem here is you're assuming all women are the same. Wrong!

It's a complicated mess of illogical, irrational, social, biological, and status-related factors that make women not "attracted" to nice guys, and more "attracted" to mean guys that are above them in some way. Take it from the great David DeAngelo who says, "Hey, no one said women are logical."

I should have known you were a DD follower, that sounds like something he'd say. It's not that complicated. How about finding out for yourself that some women react in kneejerk to simplistic triggers, and some actually have brains, a good sense of radar and don't have to be in a relationship to feel like they are complete?

Also, "niceness" with an expected payoff is manipulation in disguise. A truly nice person doesn't care if they get anything in return from treating people good. They do it for themselves, not for entitlement. Big difference. You underestimate a lot of women; most of them can smell that a mile away - THAT's what turns us off.

Attraction is attraction. Once we've established we have attraction, a person CAN do things to make us walk away DESPITE the attraction we have. But there can never be a true attraction built based on a person who does all the right things if it wasn't there from the start. Some men like to make a formula out of attraction because they hate the fact that it's unpredictable and they can't control it. The only thing you can control is yourself. Be yourself, get to know someone a bit if they are attracted to you instead of standing on your head to impress her out of insecurity. ONCE WE'VE ESTABLISHED ATTRACTION we like men who are confident, and comfortable to be around. Men who are doing cartwheels to make sure we're paying attention don't really have that type of vibe.
 agoramatic
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 253
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:38:46 AM
Hey, don't get me wrong, I couldn't give two sh*ts about whether women base their attraction on simplistic behavioral triggers or not. I'd rather they be more constant and less arbitrary about whom they find attractive. I.e., it would be great if a woman were to have a definite physical attraction to a guy, and she stuck with him instead of making a kneejerk negative reaction and dumping the guy as soon as he makes some sort of behavioral or gestural faux pas that she arbitrarily deems to be bad. Hey, if we make a "mistake" in your eyes, we'd appreciate just a little bit of toleration!


Yes, empty superficial women - you're right. Why do you care what works on them? Women of some substance and quality will NOT react positively to arrogance and poor treatment. Your problem here is you're assuming all women are the same. Wrong!


See, the problem with you is you assume that most women AREN'T superficial and shallow like I describe--especially attractive and ultra-desirable ones. But hey, you might be the exception to the rule; I don't really know, because I don't know you, do I?


Also, "niceness" with an expected payoff is manipulation in disguise. A truly nice person doesn't care if they get anything in return from treating people good. They do it for themselves, not for entitlement. Big difference. You underestimate a lot of women; most of them can smell that a mile away - THAT's what turns us off.


I dunno. It sounds like you've had some bad experiences that have soured your impressions about men and made you paranoid. I don't think guys are nice to be deliberately manipulative or to create a feeling of entitlement; I just think a lot of them have been p*ssywhipped by societal ideas that women should be lionized and glorified for so long and that they really don't quite know how to act around or treat women, and they consequently go overboard with the niceness. It certainly doesn't help when you ladies continue the vicious cycle by dumping and rejecting said nice guys.

Reality is, nowadays, I think the guys who are NOT nice are the ones being manipulative. A lot of them deliberately withhold some of their true feelings and affection, playing games of hard-to-get and apathy to get women to like them. No, they're not acting like completely arrogant and abusive jerks; they're just toning down the niceness and acting more nonchalant than they otherwise would. And you know what, it seems to be working.
 agoramatic
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 254
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:47:03 AM


And people that do cartwheels to win someone over, are often more concerned about not being rejected than anything to do with the other person. It is self-centered, and not really so nice, is it?


Let me guess, you don't fear rejection just as a guy would, right? The reality is, nobody wants to face rejection, guy or gal. Whether you consider it selfish or not, guys would prefer not to be rejected, and would go through certain extremes to avoid that rejection. I don't know why that's selfish, since the same could be said for and applied to every single human being on the face of the planet.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 256
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:15:37 AM

Hey, don't get me wrong, I couldn't give two sh*ts about whether women base their attraction on simplistic behavioral triggers or not. I'd rather they be more constant and less arbitrary about whom they find attractive. I.e., it would be great if a woman were to have a definite physical attraction to a guy, and she stuck with him instead of making a kneejerk negative reaction and dumping the guy as soon as he makes some sort of behavioral or gestural faux pas that she arbitrarily deems to be bad. Hey, if we make a "mistake" in your eyes, we'd appreciate just a little bit of toleration!

That sounds like you've gone back to being general here...again SOME women aren't triggered by that. Find those women. And yes, I know what you mean, but it doesn't matter - it would be great if we all could win the lottery too, but you have to work with what you get.

The point is the women usually do go with their attraction - if they have to choose from a guy she's not attracted to but treats her good and a guy who's a jerk that she is attracted to, she's gonna cross her fingers and go with the jerk. The other type will date a guy she's not into if she can get something else from him (money, power, etc). I doubt you're hoping for that, but a "nice guy" will attract women like that real easily. There is a third type of woman out there who won't choose either, and she's the one who doesn't have to be dating to be happy. She'll hold out for the guy she's attracted to who's also nice.

See, the problem with you is you assume that most women AREN'T superficial and shallow like I describe--especially attractive and ultra-desirable ones. But hey, you might be the exception to the rule; I don't really know, because I don't know you, do I?

The problem with you is you assume most women are, and you're not one of them. You're guessing based on your own experiences. Wow, you'd be wanting attractive and ultra desirable women and you have a problem with them not giving you a chance? I bet there are some less than desirable women you didn't give a chance, right? Yep.

I am the exception to most rules, so I cannot be measured in a normal survey on women. I like being single, so I don't care if I date, but if I do, I only date guys I am attracted to who will respect me as I respect them. Guys I am not into and guys with bad attitudes aren't my type. I also approach most men because my type of guy doesn't approach me typically.

I dunno. It sounds like you've had some bad experiences that have soured your impressions about men and made you paranoid. I don't think guys are nice to be deliberately manipulative or to create a feeling of entitlement; I just think a lot of them have been p*ssywhipped by societal ideas that women should be lionized and glorified for so long and that they really don't quite know how to act around or treat women, and they consequently go overboard with the niceness. It certainly doesn't help when you ladies continue the vicious cycle by dumping and rejecting said nice guys.

Unlike most, I can learn by watching. I have a gift of reading people real well and I don't have to personally go thru anything to learn from it. I have an aversion to low self esteem, entitlement and insecurtity, and someone who's trying to buy your affection is trying to get you to see past something about themselves that THEY don't like. That's just not attractive. Trust me, I've reacted to that, and I have seen friends do it. It's not rocket science. If men didn't do that, we wouldn't be turned off by it. They may do it out of lack of experience, but it is what it is.

Reality is, nowadays, I think the guys who are NOT nice are the ones being manipulative. A lot of them deliberately withhold some of their true feelings and affection, playing games of hard-to-get and apathy to get women to like them. No, they're not acting like completely arrogant and abusive jerks; they're just toning down the niceness and acting more nonchalant than they otherwise would. And you know what, it seems to be working.

I can't help you there. While I am attracted to confidence, easy rapport and someone who's comfortable around people, I am turned off by arrogance, rudeness, and extreme ego. The type of guy I like, again is confident enough to stand alone, but not confident enough to assume I'll swoon over him and therefore I do a lot of the approaching - which works better for me. It's not easy to manipulate me, because there's usually nothing they have that I want. And nonchalance is ok with me if they expect it in return. I don't chase, and I don't like to be chased so I am a non factor in that process. If a guy I am not attracted to plays hard to get with me, it kind of doesn't apply. I do agree that guys who are overly emotional SHOULD withhold their feelings and pace themselves in general. Most women can't and shouldn't have to handle strong emotional overtures before they're sure they really want to date someone (nor should most men get that crap from women). It creates a sense of urgency to be mutual that they can't provide so early on. It gets two reactions: 1. They fake that they are where you are and later freak out and break it off; or 2. They push you away and tell you they aren't ready for it. Either way, no good comes of it.
 Stargazer46
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 257
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:37:23 AM
Since 15, i've only been "seriously single and seeking" for the past 2 years. This noted my experience is limited to, well, the past 2 years. . .

Nice guys-- and gals -- sometimes finish last because:

1) the capacity to receive love goes hand in hand with the capacity to give love. You can't have one with out the other. They are two sides of the same coin. After a certain st/age of life experiences, we are who we are. And people capable of giving and receiving love cannot instill this capacity in those who are not capable of giving and receiving love. No matter how much they might hope to do so. Or try to do so.

2) the average person looks like --- an average person. This means that s/he does not stand out in a crowd and makes nobody weak in anybody's knees.

However,

the average person almost always considers him/herself to be "attractive" in an above average way. Nobody wants to look into the face of another person and think, "This perfectly average nice (or not-so-nice) guy/gal is my dream come true." The ability to balance shooting for the stars and walking on solid ground go hand in hand. Average looking people are likely to have romantic relationships with average looking people. Ditto for the rest of the appearance spectrum.

In other words -- a person may logically conclude: "This is a really nice guy/gal. We have a ton in common. We have a great time together. S/he is highly capable of making me very happy." But romantic attraction defies logic. Mostly.
 MrAmazingCan
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 258
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:37:53 AM
I must admit that it is difficult to know how any woman will react to what you do for her. It can be so frustrating for a man knowing the expectations different women have toward a man. I've had women who think that opening the door was too much... but I won't stop opening a car door for anyone. I once sent a simple little flower/plant to a woman when she was having a bad day and that was considered too overwhelming... but I will always send special somethings regardless of how she felt. As an artist, I've created complex "thinking of you" or "birthday" cards spending a great deal of time on them... sketching and drawing complex images, and have been accused of being too cheap to buy a card... Although, I will never stop making cards for someone special. Overall, I will always continue to do what I do and if a woman does not like it then that is a good thing. In the end it's a matter of taste and preference... Either she likes me or she does not. What one woman may think is overwhelming another may bask in it with great appreciation. On the other hand, some people cannot be pleased no matter what you do for them. LOL... those are the ones I prefer to avoid!!! Long Live Banana Twins!!!
 ck1time
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 266
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History
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/2/2007 11:25:18 PM
K, it's been pretty much all said above, but ppl this happens @ beginnings of relationships.
After a couple forms a bond that's long-lasting, the dynamics totally change. Now, you have to keep the PLAY in the GAME, that doesn't change. We're all kids no matter our age.
Sorry I didn't read all 12 pages. "Can U entertain Me for LIFE?" ..."If you're so good to me this quick, you don't know what a bad girl I am, & that's BORING...NEXT!"
Oh, there's no formula at all, instead a delicate balance of skill and rapport. Right, PUA's?
 esiceo_pof
Joined: 2/6/2007
Msg: 270
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:11:20 PM
Scot Ms.

You are not alone, but you are among the self-destructive. Ask yourself why you would want to be treated as worthless. How did you feel about the desire of affection from your father? Ask why it is that a loving partner would not satisfy your needs and wants? You will always be able to find a guy who treats you like a low-life. Ask yourself why. Listen up girl--it is long past the time to love yourself and have the ability to love another who regards you as someone precious. Here is the simple truth--love the one who loves you as much as he loves himself, and at least as much as you love yourself. So, can you not see the importance of loving yourself? You are doomed if you do not.

"When two in love each discover
The greater pleasure of giving it each to the other:
Then they have found,
The very profound.
Nothing less than Life's greatest treasure." (published 2006)

Wise up. How do you want to spend the rest of your life? "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.....So be not coy, but use your time; and while ye may be merry. For having once but lost your prime, you may forever tarry." I will give you the most important (not the only) factors that matter above all else. Your lover should be your best friend, listener, confidant, supporter, and never mean. No poisoness argument should ever rise with the next day's sun. Communication (and never accusation) is needed to keep a love afire. You can do this if you believe in what matters to you, rather than what opinions matter to your friends. For whatever reason, you like, but discard the guy who would really give you his love, in favor of another who treats you like crap, but somehow gives you something that in reality has no true worth. Maybe pay more attention to what you really want from a partner, and very much less on appearances. I have discovered that the most beautiful women (exacting the envy of my friends), are the least likely to be loving of another ONE. Think about the ONE beyond initial appearance. If U want to chat email **|copraphile At comcastdot net|****. Let me know what you think about my advice. Fare well.
 sien
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 275
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:53:53 AM
Cause it makes her feel like she dating her own dad......duh!!!!!!!
 echo*
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 280
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/5/2007 3:30:53 PM
If it's any consolation it happens to women too. I think it comes down to physical attraction, plain and simple. She doesn't get wobbly knees over you. It's happened to me too. It's nobody's fault. We can't help how we feel, no matter how hard we try to intellectualize it.
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