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 eternalrealist2015
Joined: 4/23/2015
Msg: 1297
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.Page 52 of 57    (17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57)
I did not read all 56 pages of this topic. But ^^

"At your age women want ..... " etc etc

AT ANY AGE not all women want the same thing. There may be some best practices but this insistence that 'all men' or 'all women' being alike? I do not understand individuals that have this view of the world.

As for 'nice'....

One thing I have found with SOME guys is.... their self-identification of a 'nice guy' is likely not accurate. Maybe they WERE at one point and got burned. Very possible. But now? The 'nice' label they give themselves glosses over a lot of resentment.

Yesterday I had a last minute first meet with a man who I'd been communicating with for a couple days. He was local, he seemed friendly, we happened to have last minute availability to do a meet and greet, why not? I'm fine meeting quickly vs continue to try to 'guess' if there might be a fit. (I'm also fine communicating a little long as well - just not a big rule follower in this, but that's not the point)

Point is - guy was a self-proclaimed nice guy - by his description: loving father, kids are his world. But upon chatting with him - a lot of resentment came out quickly. His kids are growing up and 'dad' is taking a lower priority (which is the reality), his daughter didn't even talk to him at her last sports game, etc etc. Some negative stuff about his ex came out (I did NOT ask). Then? I hear about his latest conflict that day at work. So! much! anger! Not appealing.

He kept saying what a nice guy he was. "Too nice" he said several times. He seemed to be clinging to this identity of a wronged nice guy and it was eating him up, from what I could tell. I'm glad I met him sooner rather than later. I actually felt kind of bad for him. His IRL persona was very different than his 'funny/communicative' messages, that's for sure!

He asked about seeing me again and I said our personalities were just not compatible. He didn't seem surprised -- he said he appreciated my time and that I was nice about rejecting him at least. We split the check and wished each other luck.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 1298
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/15/2015 12:03:27 PM
I've met a few angry women that hated their ex's, or tell me what I should be doing with my life (i.e. buying a house).

At some point I think they realize their faux pas, and will proclaim, 'I'm a happy person and want to be surrounded by positive people!'

Hmm, saying your happy doesn't make it so...
 eternalrealist2015
Joined: 4/23/2015
Msg: 1299
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/15/2015 12:11:24 PM
^^ No, it doesn't.

And I suspect that trying to find someone who is a 'better experience' (than the last bad ex) to make that anger go away backfires.

I was sad after my last breakup because I liked the guy - he wasn't perfect or even perfect for me, but it was a decent relationship while it lasted -- so I gave myself a couple months to put that behind me before I jumped back in.

I kind of wonder if this guy from yesterday will find a way to spin me not wanting to see him again into another 'bad experience' (d*mn women, anyway!) to fit his narrative? Maybe not, maybe that is being unfair to him and I hope not, but he didn't really have ANY positive stuff to share.

And his profile? Practically rainbows and unicorns :)
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 1300
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/15/2015 12:18:45 PM
The fact he didn't seem surprised?

Probably had the same reaction on his previous dates. He sounds apathetic.

I'm guessing he's new to dating and will spin his wheels thinking he must be ugly since women reject him, instead of the reality.

Hopefully one day he'll realize his narrative is an obituary and not a best seller.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 1301
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 5/15/2015 1:40:14 PM

I kind of wonder if this guy from yesterday will find a way to spin me not wanting to see him again into another 'bad experience' (d*mn women, anyway!) to fit his narrative? Maybe not, maybe that is being unfair to him and I hope not, but he didn't really have ANY positive stuff to share.

And his profile? Practically rainbows and unicorns :)


Wow, this is a great inside on why many of these guys are resentful and angry. I bet you that guy did not spend time with his daughters. Or is more than likely one of those passive aggressive types. You dodged a bullet and I think your observations are right on the money.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 1302
view profile
History
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/22/2015 6:26:26 PM
No, any good player cannot create chemistry on command. Not even good looking successful ones. They can act in a way that manipulates and curries favour and then can be open to being used, but if a gal is not attracted physically then it does not matter. The smell, the look, the walk and the talk, most of this is sub conscious and has to do with many factors. Thankfully it cannot be bought or sold.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 1303
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/22/2015 8:15:57 PM

When I was younger I only dated guys I thought were super confident and a touch Alpha
...
Exact opposite now I'm older is true
I find friendly mature guys more manly and a turn on and have real confidence
And can't STAND the former:


Seems to be the way of it. When a woman loses her value the desperate and ineffectual pukes suddenly get sexy... provided that they can pay the bills. Don't take it as a personal attack. It isn't. There is nothing wrong with it. Actually, it is quite fitting.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 1304
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/22/2015 11:05:20 PM

When a woman loses her value

Please elaborate on this thought. Is the value of a woman comparable to the measure of a man?
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 1305
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/22/2015 11:47:49 PM

Please elaborate on this thought. Is the value of a woman comparable to the measure of a man?


No, it isn't an equivalent. The measure of a man is no measure at all because men have no value. Not in youth, not in old age, never. If men are tolerated at all, it is for what they do or what they own and never for who they are.

A female starts life with a great deal of intrinsic value but it erodes over time. As time goes on a woman will try to shore up her declining innate value by using male strategies. (I have a doctorate, a professional career and own my own home. etc.) It isn't always force of time and circumstances. Some women deliberately choose to identify themselves this way - "I'll show them that I am not just another pretty face." However they come to it, as soon as they rely on male methods for establishing desirability they lose any innate worth that they may have had.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 1306
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 7:18:54 AM

Listen anti republican, guys tend to see everything through their own eyes
And project that image onto opposite sex


Actually they don't. They think and feel what they are told to think and feel. Very few have the capacity to see
through their own eyes or project much of anything.


And feel some sense of loss, this would be more relevent if I was younger and looking at it from guys eyes not now
Wrong my youth was most unhappiest days of my life and dating guys
And I would not wish to go back to it for anything
I'm happier now than I ever was then


Here, I'll just take your word for it. I have no reason to think that you are unhappy. Then again, this isn't about happiness. This is about value.


If you guys fear getting older and no longer chasing skirt. That's YOU not me or others YOU


This is a big misunderstanding. Most men hate chasing skirt at any point in life. They want the skirt to come to them. Not going to happen. So, no it's not me or you. It is nobody.


Prefer the company of Cats:))))


Damn straight! I just had my 50th birthday and have never been without at least one cat for all of that time. Kitties Rule!


Then get all hurt over being taken for ATMs
~ which was bleeding obvious from where I'm sitting:)


That may very well be and that is okay. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is their fault but it is their function and their place in the world. Women should use them because that is what they are for. I defy anyone to show where I have said otherwise. Women rarely ask me about such things but my honest advice to them would be to grab from men with both hands.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 1307
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 7:34:48 AM

This is a big misunderstanding. Most men hate chasing skirt at any point in life. They want the skirt to come to them. Not going to happen. So, no it's not me or you. It is nobody.

Totally disagree with this statement. What men hate is rejection. Men wish that every time the approach a woman, she finds him charming and wants to sleep with him. That is not reality. But men love the hunt, the game. Maybe not all the wozzy guys that every time they got rejected felt like going back to mammy. Or hid under the "I'm shy." The moment that men discover their own way to attract women, he turns into a hunter and the more victories that he has the more he wants to hunt. Of course, along the way we eventually meet that one incredible women that turns the hunter into a farmer, and instead of conquest we want intimacy and a spiritual connection. Also another thing happens during that transformation. When the man stops chasing skirt and starts chasing meaning, women that WANT meaning start chasing such men. And it is the woman then that seduces the man. Not every body experiences this, of course. But it happens.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 1308
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 8:08:18 AM
I can understand the frustration of feeling like you're getting nowhere, but not every pursuit can be a victory. Think of how boring it would be if they were. It would be like playing a video game with the cheat codes enabled.

The one thing that does irk me, though, is going to places and there's nothing but couples everywhere.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 1309
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 8:16:16 AM

Men wish that every time the approach a woman, she finds him charming and wants to sleep with him. That is not reality. But men love the hunt, the game. Maybe not all the wozzy guys that every time they got rejected felt like going back to mammy. Or hid under the "I'm shy."


So suppose a beautiful goddess of woman asks you out on a date. What are you going to say? "Get lost, I don't want to be approached by women first; I love the hunt, the game."
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 1310
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 8:33:14 AM


So suppose a beautiful goddess of woman asks you out on a date. What are you going to say? "Get lost, I don't want to be approached by women first; I love the hunt, the game."


Nothing in what you quoted from him implied that.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 1311
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 8:33:36 AM

So suppose a beautiful goddess of woman asks you out on a date. What are you going to say? "Get lost, I don't want to be approached by women first; I love the hunt, the game."


"Suppose."

In reality such beautiful goddesses do ask you out. But most of them want a man that can pursue, not some wimp that jumps at her every command. So they will give you the hints to what they want. To which you can give your hints of what YOU want.

You have a much better chance of sleeping with that goddess if you don't cave in and make her work for her conquest, than being the idiot that drools at her demands and plays her game of roll over and fetch. What do you prefer, to be seen with such goddess, or be the one that actually blows her mind and keeps her wanting more?

The thing is that such goddesses USE that technique many times to use men, to get what they want. I've known plenty of guys that throw their money at them, only to get a peck on the chic. So instead of saying "Get lost, I don't want to be approached by women first, I love the hunt, the game." which is stupid. Tell her "Why do you want to go out with me? Are you going to buy me dinner and try to take advantage of me. Maybe I am not that type of guy."

Hehehehe
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 1312
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 8:35:37 AM


The one thing that does irk me, though, is going to places and there's nothing but couples everywhere.


Arrgghhh....

Yep. I remember going into a bar and seeing nothing but couples seated at the bar. FFS, go sit at a table!

In the Navy, I remember seeing a cruise ship docked nearby. Figured a bunch of women would be partying somewhere.

Sadly, I learned cruise ships had 2 types of couples...Newly Wed and Newly Dead :(
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 1314
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 7/23/2015 10:54:41 AM

Thankfully it cannot be bought or sold.

No, but it can be learned...


Mr. Church, it has come to OUR attention that in an ego driven intent to prove someone wrong, you have divulged critical information that is not for the average person. So please, maintain the common lore that only naturals can be players, that this cannot be taught, that only gorgeous men can be players, and that only men can be players thus women may not apply. Nothing of such nature can be learned. Please refrains from such talk and tell these feeble souls the official company line and that is to "Just be yourself."

LOL
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 1316
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/12/2015 12:20:24 PM
The women who dump men who are nice to them are mean. Who really wants to be with a woman who treats you like crap anyway?
 UZEASY
Joined: 8/3/2015
Msg: 1317
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/13/2015 7:46:21 PM

Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.


Cause majority agreed that women has rights! lol.
 sweettea091
Joined: 7/31/2015
Msg: 1318
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/15/2015 1:31:56 PM
Some of us are like guys. We like the chase. A "nice" guy is kinda boring.
 perspektiv
Joined: 8/9/2015
Msg: 1319
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/16/2015 6:32:28 AM
I think most define "nice" men as boring. A man without a backbone, or the like. Some women, will test men and their backbone to determine interest levels. I remember a woman saying yes to the meeting, but on it playing it like I was a dime a dozen (dissing me every opportunity she had), trying to see if I would chase her or had a backbone.

Was polite for the first few minutes, not sweating it. Then she made it personal--I put her in her place boldly (but politely, to avoid making a scene). 360 in her behavior. I went from chasing her, to her chasing me, now having sparked her attraction seeing I had bigger balls than she gave me credit for.

I laughed it off, and kicked her to the curb (after her laughing, and mentioning she'd probably be the hottest girl who would give me a chance, making it clear I wouldn't have it in me to walk away from her), feeling I had wasted an hour of my time I'll never get back.

She was gorgeous, so probably not used to being turned down. Likely used to treating men how she treats them, and them taking it--hence her getting bored easily by men (as she had initially told me), and them getting attached too fast.

Unfortunately, I would die for my pride, and only swallow it once my heart is involved.

She got pathetic, to a level she was almost begging me to give her a chance. I just blocked her.

Had I just taken her abuse, she likely would've kicked me to the curb, or tried "friend zoning" me.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 1320
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/16/2015 6:48:13 AM
^^^ Reverse psychology lol
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 1321
view profile
History
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:00:41 AM
A man may treat a woman well but if she does not really fancy him or find him otherwise interesting, it hardly matters if he is nice. A man who is nice to a woman who is not nice to him, is just a doormat. A man has to be more than nice though. To be called nice can be the kiss of death and implies not sexy........
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 1322
view profile
History
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/16/2015 8:09:08 AM
perspektiv

Please tell me you at least met this woman.....otherwise she could have been any kind of fake or flake and you were just being played but thought you were the player, more likely, than not...
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 1323
view profile
History
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 8/16/2015 5:41:07 PM
antirepublican

What a sorry statement to make that you feel men have no value except for what they own or earn. I for one am an independent woman who has never needed the resources of a man. I have men that I value in my life for their friendship and at times their sex appeal and want nothing else from them.

If you value women just for their youthful desirability or her innate value being her physical assets and breeding potential. It says more about you than anyone else.

A woman who wants her own home and career is doing so because she does not want to be controlled by a man and at the mercy of fate when inevitably she gets older and loses her "innate value" and he leaves her or she wants to leave him.

If a woman is independent financially you damn her and if she is one to take a man for his assets and earning potential she is also damned, in your book. I think you are a misogynist and perhaps don't know it.....
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