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 2matchingsocks
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 6
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I had suspicions about him early into our court ship, but made the decision to give him a try anyways.

You had your suspicions from the start. Once you have those is it really him playing you? Or is it you not being smart enough to listen to your inner voice?

Then you say you had women messaging you while you were dating, warning you. You didn't listen to them....do you see where this is going?

Honestly, if a guy is enough of a player that he sets off warning bells, he's going to come across 2 kinds of women- those that listen to warning bells and those that don't. The ones that don't won't listen to you any more than you listened to the other women. Those of us that listen wouldn't let this guy near us.
 * Succinct *
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 7
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 7:50:04 AM

I had suspicions about him early into our court ship, but made the decision to give him a try anyways.
What attracted you to him in the first place? was it strictly looks? i'm almost positive it was. Chances are you'll end up making the same mistake again with a different "player", after all you had suspicions, but still went with your heart instead of your head. Get on with your life, who knows what really went on? maybe you're deranged or the player or just guilty of making bad choices...the truth hurts sometimes.
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 14
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:34:05 AM
If you're not bitter about this, why not just move on and learn from it. why are you so consumed with outing the guy. If all the women on pof decided they wanted to "out" all the players online, we would be getting a hundred "player outings" threads everyday.

Use it as a learning experience and move on, you posting this threads actually gives the impression that you really are not over it as you claim, but might actually still be upset with the guy.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 26
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 10:23:44 AM

I had suspicions about him early into our court ship, but made the decision to give him a try anyways.


Why oh why are gut feelings usually ignored? Dumbest thing to do ever.

Vengance is what you're thinking of and it's not good.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 28
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 10:33:46 AM
Maybe those others won't ignore their gut feeling.

Black marking him is totally vengeful doesn't matter how you rationalize.. that's what it is.
 *Babydoll272*
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 31
view profile
History
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 10:52:59 AM
A member of POF put the name of a another member on her profile that was sending her nasty emails to warn others about him and she got deleted big time. Not even a trace of her remained on this site.

So OP, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on with your life and although I do understand why you would want to warn others...my handsome twin brother Tempus said it best. Forget exposing him for the liar and cheater that he is. You didn't believe it when you were told... so why would any future unsuspecting women believe it. Karma has a way of working wonders with people like him.

You lucked out by leaving his sorry A$$.
 oleg060
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 34
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 11:40:45 AM
Just off hand, you could try putting him on womansavers dot com. It has a large database of male cheaters..there are other sites like that as well, but I figured this is one of the larger ones. Hope that helps.
 subic
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 37
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History
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:15:31 PM
There are players in both genders, it is unfortunate but that is the way some people live their lives. Best thing to do is drop this indvidual , no contact of any kind. The jerk needs to fall and fall hard. But, you dont need to fall with him or have your emotions and heart destroyed by such a villianous individual.
 subic
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 39
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He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:24:19 PM
If you dont want others to fall prey to this individual , put up a testimonial as to his conduct. Vengance , no, just informing is all.
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 42
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 9:05:35 PM
"Op: oh please! give me a break. Your oozing concern for other women is pathetic. you are obviously still harboring hostile feelings for the guy. You are in no way over him nor have you moved on.

Let people live their own lives and make their own decisions without your bias opinion and martyr attitude on behalf of all women"

I could only dream of putting it in such lovely words. You my dear has hit the nail right smack on the head. Well said
 1Fish2Fish RedFishNewFish
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 44
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/1/2007 11:08:48 PM

I think they should have ebay like ratings system

This is such a terrible idea. Without diverting the thread, I will just say that if it is done for the ladies it must also be done for the men.

Now, concerning the topic, I believe that your best bet is to go into the forums and read the faqs on acceptable use, rules, and so forth. If there is nothing permitted (which I think you will find to be the case) then I think you just need to let it go. I am certain that other ladies are perceptive and can figure things out for themselves.

I do agree that what he is doing, according to your post, is not very nice - but that's life. It's not my place to judge or police a public site such as POF. That is for the site operators. Dating is an emotional matter, of course, but I believe that it's not the place of one user to "report" or put down another user. What will stop people with grudges from defaming others unjustly?

Perhaps, if you feel that he has broken a rule, you should post in the abuse thread so his account can be reviewed. IMO, anything more that this constitutes a violation of the TOS.
 Witchypoo
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 58
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 11:41:25 AM
Young one... you cannot change the actions of others no matter how badly you want to. What he does now and how he acts, is really nobody's business but his. You did get caught up in it and for that I am sorry. You now know the signs of deception, that is the big lesson for you to fully absorb.

The thing about warning others is just this, they will not believe you. They will think that you actually are bitter and jaded. Some women have to learn the lesson the way you did. You believed him when they warned you, and they most likely felt the same way that you do now. Let this one go and live your life being that much smarter. It is just not worth it to be caught up in a "soap opera" because that WILL make one bitter and jaded and that festers over the years. You can see the results of that in the forums daily with all the bashing being done.

There are girl players and boy players every where, it's the nature of the beast. You now know what the signs are so that you can stay away from them the next time around.

:))
Witchy
 MallardHunter
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 64
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 1:49:50 PM
You poor poor thing..you had suspicions early on about him then found out he was sleeping around and lying to you, but you continued to think that what you had between your legs was so great that you could change him...

He has over 90 women on his msn account, but what you have is the best and he will change...

The only feelings he had for you was when he was inside you...

Quit your whinning and get on with life...You sound so totally clingy and needy...
 MallardHunter
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 73
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 2:57:22 PM
And your single too...shows your totally ****ed up...However, I don't come on here and piss and moan about being stupid and making shitty choices in a partner...
And as others have said, your accepting only the advice you like...
It seems you had nothing to do today except follow this thread all day...
 drkprincess
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 79
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 3:28:51 PM
cutie , you still hurting possibly, I see what your trying to accomplish but busting his ass in public isnt going to make you feel better, time to let go

Remmington back yo brotha, wanna borrow her hair brush
 MsTree
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 84
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 5:02:25 PM
Well I checked your profile, and if that is his pic with you, that is one good way!
 MallardHunter
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 85
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 6:56:11 PM
I am single by choice too...seems you think your special as you have no intelligent response to my post except that I am single, as are you...

And yes, you look like a cutie, but you mind and mouth make you one fugly person...
 mro666
Joined: 11/5/2006
Msg: 86
view profile
History
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 7:45:32 PM
i dont think you should 'out' him.

i think you need to move on.

you should know that a majority of the people on ANY internet dating site
are people just looking for a-ss.

i lost count how many times i've had some chick msg me on yahoo...then after i hack away at her story it turns out she's still married or still in a relationship...still living with the guy, still sleeping in the same bed.

you just need to learn from your mistake and move on.

seriously, the best revenge is living well.
 mro666
Joined: 11/5/2006
Msg: 87
view profile
History
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 6/2/2007 10:23:43 PM
i say slash the dude's tires then move on.

j/k

:D


anyways, some people that are hurt tend to do some crazy/vengeful/hateful things..
and it's important for them to come to realize that this is not a good thing.

best thing to do is learn a lesson from this experience and not repeat it again.
(if you people don't know this, some people use the internet for 'playing' people sexually. yeah! it's true)
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 109
view profile
History
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 7/7/2007 2:23:29 PM

Okay this is what I think the women should e-mail each other so we will know who the players are.I mean that goes for men too as some woman are just gold diggers and out for the money and don,t care how many men they sleep with as long as they get there presents.I can,t stand someone deceiving another person that,s not playing fair...


an angel in blue, i made this suggestion a month or two ago (after the site feature was deleted so fast it never even got off the ground) and i was tarred and feathered for it, the most traumatizing abusive thread i've been involved in on this site. in fact, i still have guys from that thread attacking me on others. unbelievable...

but i'll second you here -- i think it's a good idea.

and i think the guys who are so defensive and angry about us warning each other are more than likely the very same guys doing the playing, the cheating, the lying, etc.

cutie 99, in response to your OP: sorry this happened to you, but as at least one other person said, there is the very important consideration that whatever he does with other people is not your responsibility but his and theirs. if he wasn't on this site, he'd be on another, and then another and another and another... ya know? so, i think it's ok to just block the guy and ignore it.

i also understand your desire to give a guy a chance. we have to do that in any case if we are going to find love. i also understand having suspicions but trying, again, to give the guy a chance and not judge him too harshly or quickly. we have all been there and we have all done that and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

at the same time, i think el mariachi is right when she says we really must listen to our instincts. usually they are right. in fact, the mistakes i have made in my life are those times when i ignored my instincts.

the difficulty is finding the balance between listening to our instincts and trying to be open and understanding regarding a guy we are getting to know.

there are no easy answers. but you have done the right thing by moving on, saying 'bye' and getting back out there trying to find someone new. as for me, i'd focus on that rather than continuing to be occupied by your concerns about this guy and what he may be doing with or to other women. they have to follow their instincts and be realistic with themselves and make their own positive choices, and there is little you can do with regard to any of that.

think about it -- somebody let you know about this guy but you ignored it and chose instead to believe him that they were just jealous. the same would probably be true if you were to notify someone. better for everyone, i think, to stay focused on their own shit and make sure they themselves are making good choices and so on...

cheers all!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 117
view profile
History
He's back and he plays woman... what to do?
Posted: 7/8/2007 6:25:46 AM
You don't need to be spoon-fed. You need to cultivate a better attitude for women to have in general.
1) Listen to your honest friends. Love is blind, but they aren't.
2) If it looks too good to be true, it usually is.
3) An honest man always asks for less than he needs. (George Peppard in "The Carpetbaggers").
I've got a load more, but I don't want to fill up the post.
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