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 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 54
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in personPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
If they have a nice smile, a great profile I do not need to IM for 6 months to me that would mean they are either married or seeing someone else. If their emails are funny and sweet. Right away. As long as you are in a safe public place why wait?
 oddsrhuge
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 57
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 8/27/2007 11:21:16 PM
oh man one that finally makes me wanna spout. "Get it over with!" Lets stop pretending that spending tons of "quality" time via IM or phone calls actually means spit. There is something that passes between people that cannot be recieved through the phone or all the texts that your nimble lil fingers want to indulge in. The sooner you get past the first meeting, as hairy as that may be to some of you, the sooner you'll both know whether or not there is something, ANYTHING to work with. If there is, move on...if not MOVE on.
 oddsrhuge
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 58
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 8/27/2007 11:28:45 PM
Well put...


I have found that if you spend too much talking before meeting - you start creating a 3D person and building up expectations that may have nothing to do with reality and are dashed upon that first meeting.


Hear, hear. So very true, lets meet and then any illusion that can be created from the other forms of communication, can be put to rest...or bed if that might be the case.
 Diana619
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 62
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/15/2007 3:55:36 PM
I like to talk to a guy for a week or two, online and on the phone before actually meeting. If you wait too long.........and you do not *click* in person which usually always happens...you feel like you have wasted way too much time conversing beforehand.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 63
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/17/2007 8:36:40 PM
Until you meet in person you have nothing . Mailing and chatting is a waste of time and can be totally misleading. I prefer real life .

I feel it works like this....
It does not happen often , but once in a while you meet someone where you just plain click with on a deeper level . You are mutually very attracted and you are happy spending time with them and it just works without effort.
The more people you meet in person the better the odds you will meet someone that you just plain hit it off with......a person who you don't have to "try" with .
I would have thought that most everyone has met someone like I described at one time or other.

The problem is that often people are so jaded and skeptical and nervous that they are often not willing to take a chance to meet in person. They go from profile to profile with the grass is always greener mindset .
It's more about being open to give it a try initially ...not after meeting.
JMO.
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 67
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/21/2007 9:05:31 AM
It is nice to get to the point, but some women certainly insist on the virtural song-and-dance for quite some time. So I see little point in pushing anything beyond a comfort zone, but I also have no patience for exchanging virtual latte frothe about the weather.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 73
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/22/2007 10:49:35 PM
At least 2 wks. No more than 3.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 74
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/23/2007 11:11:39 PM
I think many people are nervous about meeting in person . That makes for way tooooo much mailing and chatting . I find that boring and I lose interest quickly. I am just no able to get interested in a picture and a profile through typing . It's just way too impersonal.

I think that you would probably have to meet ten people in person before you meet someone you really click with. ....with some people it may be more and some it may be less.
Let's suppose someone only meets 2 people a year in person. I think that is fairly common .
That means that it will (on average) mean these people will be fishing for 5 years before they get anywhere .
That would explain things on internet dating .
 supermod6
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 76
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/25/2007 12:13:40 PM
I've met a cpl ladies the very same day. Some you jsut have too work harder for which I cant blame them since there can be some real weirdo's out there too spoil it for the rest of us.
 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 78
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:24:45 PM
1-2 weeks. If there is a connection thru email/phone conversations, I don't think there is any need to wait longer to meet up.
 thunder929
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 79
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/25/2007 3:36:50 PM
i agree the sooner the better. why drag something out (email, phone calls) when you know it's not going to work. within 30 min. you know where the relationship is going.
women need less time.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 81
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/26/2007 12:20:32 AM
A woman who is healthy and has interest in a man will meet him in a public place after 3 - 5 emails. This is a verifiable fact, ladies and gentlemen.

You need a reasonable amount of communication to build report with the woman until she is comfortable enough to meet you at Pizza Shack. On the other hand, if you wait longer, you are either wasting your time, or there is a high chance it's not a match... something is wrong, and it's probably going to be terminal with these two people. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00! When you meet face to face for the first time, things start all over again... we are wired to form romantic relationships in person (this is the way it's been done for ten-thousand years, Bill Gates has not changed this in fifteen years!), and you don't normally get eye contact, body language, facial expression, and voice inflection in emails/IM (only voice inflection with the phone, but that's just enough to get you in deeper trouble if you have a nice voice!). That's where attraction is ultimately decided... or not (a picture is not enough... just ask some people who have experience at the game). Literally millions of people meet every year, for the first time after chatting on a dating site, and realize they are not attracted to the person. Does it make sense to find this out sooner rather than later? If you keep dragging your feet, you might be 70 before you get a girlfriend!

When a women says, "He was not my type", what she really means is that she was not physically attracted to him. While what's on the inside, the person's personality, is more important in the long term (this is the part of the person you have to negotiate pizza toppings with!), physical attraction opens the door to getting to know the person better. No likey, no datey! Without attraction right out of the gate, your chances for a happy relationship that can stand the test of time are much more remote. This way is efficient, and minimizes rejection, and can mean the difference between people getting depressed and canceling their accounts, and actually having fun meeting new people while they wait for cupid to sock it to them. Do you want to enjoy this hobby, or get your heart dragged through the gutter? It's not rocket science!

If she won't meet you after 3-5 emails, talk to other girls... like it says at the top... there are plenty of fish. You guys have got to have a little more backbone. Besides, you only need one good woman. Do you smell what I'm cooking?! Let the one who loves you most win. Women in love do it better.
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 88
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/22/2007 12:59:18 AM
If the answer to this question is any longer than 2 weeks...YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!
1. Make contact.
2. Email TWO OR THREE TIMES!
3. Talk on the phone (two or three times at most)
4. MEET!
If you do anything else, you're nothing but a game playing chickenshit!
 janaaz1
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 90
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:49:53 PM
When I first started this internet dating thing, I waited as long as possible before I actually met the person. My reasoning was that if I chatted long enough with a man, I would have a better idea of our compatibility, based on the communication. After meeting a couple of men this way, and, realizing that there was no physical connection after feeling that I had a mental connection with the man really did something to my mind.... the last man I met, I actually only IM'd with for a couple of weeks, on and off... I found that, for me, that was the better way to go........just jump in there and meet and let nature take it's course, one way or the other.....
 HerCheezJoy
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 91
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/16/2010 1:27:01 PM
I'm just curious to see if you guys hit it off.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 92
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/17/2010 6:33:12 PM
depends on how far away they live. Its just a long commute.
 fashiongal2
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 93
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/19/2010 9:18:57 PM
I can understand why some people would want to meet rather quickly. But I wouldn't automatically lose interest in a man simply because we didn't meet within 1-2 weeks. I don't have a definite time period for when to go out on a date. That can vary based on our schedules, location, frequency of contact etc. The longest relationship I had with someone from a dating site was with a man that I didn't meet until a month after first contact. We were supposed to meet earlier. But were unable to due our schedules.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 94
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/20/2010 7:07:09 AM
Meet when you are both comfortable doing so. There is no preset amount of time, different people have different ideas on what is approrpriate or works for them. If it is taking you months to set up something as simple as meeting for a coffee, or a drink, or a meal, I personally would think it was not meant to happen. The person who keeps postponing is probably just making excuses not to meet and if they really are so busy that they cannot find an hour here or there to meet with someone, they have no time to date anyway.

Chat on here a bit, chat on MSN, talk on the phone a few times, if the interest is there on both sides, set up a meeting. If you are meeting in a public place and you have not committed an entire day or evening to the encoutner then what do you have to lose other than the price of a cup of coffee and a half hour of your time?

I really don't know what all this drama is over meeting with someone. Don't have them pick you up, take your own vehicle so you are not stuck for a drive or getting into a car with a stranger. Don't bring them to your house or go off to a secluded spot with them. Meet in a public place with other people around. Don't give out too much personal information right away, like where you live or the exact location of your workplace. If you practise a few hard and fast rules on safety, especially if you are a woman, then what is the big deal about agreeing to meet someone.

If they show up and look nothing like their picture or have a personality that is in complete opposition to what they said they were like then you just don't meet with them again. You don't have to fight over it, ask why they did that, dwell on how some people lie and so on and so forth. It is not like they robbed and beat you and left you for dead. They wasted your time. It is a pain in the ass, not the end of the world.

If someone keeps on using the "I'm too busy to meet" line then consider this. They are not too busy to spend endless hours online checking out dating sites, texting, MSNing, and Facebooking so, if they really wanted to meet and they are local, it is not that hard to do because you are talking about a minimal investment of time and effort.

Even for those who live an hour or so away this holds merit. If you are going to spend hours talking on the phone or messaging each other on MSN day after day or night after night, why not jump in your respective vehicles and pick a neutral location somewhere in between your two residences and spend that time in a face to face meeting instead?

At the end of the day, there really is no reason not to meet if you are truly interested in someone, other than distance and if they live too far off how do you ever plan to really get to know them anyway?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 95
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/20/2010 7:27:01 AM
A few weeks. Meeting someone for a cup of coffee at a Barnes and Nobles or Starbucks in broad daylight should not be such a big deal.
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 96
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/29/2010 4:01:52 PM
I'll tell ya' there are absolute NUT -JOBS out there! on BOTH sides of the gender-fence. I've ran into my share, that's why I really like/want to get to know someone by usually email first... then, if they seem REASONABLY sane (I don't like them too-sane, that can get boring ) we'll go to the phone number/talking part,.. if that's ok, then a meet. I've found that if you keep conversing in emails for a while, the insane ones will usually slip up. VERY seldom do they get past email & to the phone, although I have to admit I've slipped up a time or two. I'm tellin' ya ladies, it can be just as bad for guys as it can be for you.. a nut-ball IS a nut-ball whether they wear Boxers or Panties! I'm amazed how quickly some girls will just drop their phone number in the very first email they send you. You don't get MINE untill you've written a whole bunch to me and completed a 500 word essay on why you think it is nessasary to move to that particular step!
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 97
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/29/2010 5:08:15 PM
^^^^^You're right, and I hate to say it. Some of the head cases around have learned how to use the internet to set people up. I once had emailed someone several times (not on this site) and set up a phone call. Everything had gone great, and I was looking forward to talking with her. But no sooner had the conversation started when, out of the blue, she began trying to pick a fight. I tried to be friendly, but she just kept getting nastier. As soon as I saw she was just wacky, I excused myself and hung up. Kind of an unwelcome surprise, but at least I never had to meet her in person--she might have put a knife in my ribs.
 Dan4play
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 98
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/30/2010 7:24:41 AM
I chat long enough to get a sense of who the person is. I amnot shy about telling of myself and my viewpoints. When you are open and upfront ou get good clues on how the other person is. When you are guarded and circumspect then you get the same and it takes longer if it is going to happen.

Dan
 Dan4play
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 99
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/30/2010 7:26:30 AM
I like to chat with someone long enough to get a sense of who they are and how they are. It really isn't traumatic no matter how much some people try to make it so.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 100
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/1/2010 4:14:57 AM
about 6 inches to two feet is long enough, I'd say. Depends on where you live, of course.
 Nextmove
Joined: 9/23/2010
Msg: 101
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/2/2010 3:26:49 PM
Probably only a couple of times. I would rather chat with someone, go away and think about it and then chat again and arrange a time to meet. Honestly, there is a certain something called physical attraction that is not real until you meet the person, and photos and words don't give the whole picture. Also I don't like maintaining conversations with a multitute of people at the same time. Rather focus on one person I may be interested in and then move to the next if it's not the right one.
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