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 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 96
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in personPage 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I'll tell ya' there are absolute NUT -JOBS out there! on BOTH sides of the gender-fence. I've ran into my share, that's why I really like/want to get to know someone by usually email first... then, if they seem REASONABLY sane (I don't like them too-sane, that can get boring ) we'll go to the phone number/talking part,.. if that's ok, then a meet. I've found that if you keep conversing in emails for a while, the insane ones will usually slip up. VERY seldom do they get past email & to the phone, although I have to admit I've slipped up a time or two. I'm tellin' ya ladies, it can be just as bad for guys as it can be for you.. a nut-ball IS a nut-ball whether they wear Boxers or Panties! I'm amazed how quickly some girls will just drop their phone number in the very first email they send you. You don't get MINE untill you've written a whole bunch to me and completed a 500 word essay on why you think it is nessasary to move to that particular step!
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 97
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History
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/29/2010 5:08:15 PM
^^^^^You're right, and I hate to say it. Some of the head cases around have learned how to use the internet to set people up. I once had emailed someone several times (not on this site) and set up a phone call. Everything had gone great, and I was looking forward to talking with her. But no sooner had the conversation started when, out of the blue, she began trying to pick a fight. I tried to be friendly, but she just kept getting nastier. As soon as I saw she was just wacky, I excused myself and hung up. Kind of an unwelcome surprise, but at least I never had to meet her in person--she might have put a knife in my ribs.
 Dan4play
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 98
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/30/2010 7:24:41 AM
I chat long enough to get a sense of who the person is. I amnot shy about telling of myself and my viewpoints. When you are open and upfront ou get good clues on how the other person is. When you are guarded and circumspect then you get the same and it takes longer if it is going to happen.

Dan
 Dan4play
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 99
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 9/30/2010 7:26:30 AM
I like to chat with someone long enough to get a sense of who they are and how they are. It really isn't traumatic no matter how much some people try to make it so.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 100
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/1/2010 4:14:57 AM
about 6 inches to two feet is long enough, I'd say. Depends on where you live, of course.
 Nextmove
Joined: 9/23/2010
Msg: 101
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/2/2010 3:26:49 PM
Probably only a couple of times. I would rather chat with someone, go away and think about it and then chat again and arrange a time to meet. Honestly, there is a certain something called physical attraction that is not real until you meet the person, and photos and words don't give the whole picture. Also I don't like maintaining conversations with a multitute of people at the same time. Rather focus on one person I may be interested in and then move to the next if it's not the right one.
 anunu
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 102
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how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/4/2010 1:46:31 PM
When I was dating, I didn't waste anytime meeting people. Sometimes it was the same day, but it as always within a week. If they were too busy to meet, that was a sign to me that they were too busy for a relationship.

My man I have now was actually scared to meet me at first. I'm glad he got over his fears!
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 103
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/4/2010 2:22:14 PM
If you've met others and they turned out not to be what you were looking for then, it seems rather obvious that you weren't talking about the right things before you both met, no?

So when you do talk to them on-line, think about what it is that would be a deal breaker for you and ask questions that will give you sense of their way of looking at life and thinking. This way you will have a much better idea if you are wasting your time.
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 104
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/4/2010 2:55:08 PM

If you've met others and they turned out not to be what you were looking for then, it seems rather obvious that you weren't talking about the right things before you both met, no?


It's not only things you talked about. It could e something else that you see and don't like. Mannerisms, body language, voices...these all play a key role in if you enjoy being around someone. I don't like doing alot of emailing. I prefer to get to talking on the phone as soon as possible, because I think texting/emailing is a good way to idealize someone in our head. I need to hear them talk to me.
 extrememale2004
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 105
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/4/2010 5:43:51 PM
I would take aleast a couple of weeks It is important to get to know and talk to the person.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 106
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/4/2010 6:59:01 PM
I've only asked 2 girls for their number on here...here's how they went.

1st person I went out with from here...I met on friday, called her on Saturday...

went out Saturday night.

great time.


2nd person- met and began talking almost immediately...then we went out the next weekend...

if there is a connection and chemistry...i figure both parties will want to meet each other fairly soon.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 107
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/4/2010 10:38:35 PM
I'd recommend not meeting anyone on here. It was okay while in my 20s but now why bother. Who needs the disappointment?
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 108
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/5/2010 2:11:47 AM
It all depends. If she lived close by I'd suggest some place close that I'd want to go to anyway. So right away. My only condition is no expectations other than sharing some POF stores and a few laughs.

If they were further than a few miles. Well....let's just say the further away the more I'd want to email and talk on the phone.

As far as the crazies are concerned. Good grief. What's the difference between the POF people and all of the other people you cross paths with every day?
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 109
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/5/2010 8:00:50 AM
I don't have a set time period for when to go out with someone else. I have gone out on dates with people from a dating site ranging from a week to about 1.5 months after first contact. It can depend on the circumstances. Such as location, schedule, amount of email / phone conversations etc.
 CynthiaSMW
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 110
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/5/2010 5:49:40 PM
I'm firmly in the 'meet as soon as possible' camp (often even without a phone call first) because you don't know anything about the other person until you meet face-to-face.

How soon is as soon as possible? Local men I've met the same day or next day from the first contact - if the first email was intriguing enough. My fishie lives 2,800 miles away so it took us a bit longer to meet - 5 days from the first email.

Life is what happens when you're sitting behind your computer too scared to face it. When I die I want it to be with the least regrets possible and all my 'big' regrets in life so far are for opportunities I didn't take.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 111
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/5/2010 5:57:24 PM
My preference is sooner than later. I do not chat for weeks, months; much less years!

I don't usually rush into things, but in this case (online dating) it is essential to meet face-to-face if you seek a relationship. If you want a pen pal then knock yourself out emailing/chatting, but that's not my focus.
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 112
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/5/2010 7:27:46 PM

I'm firmly in the 'meet as soon as possible' camp (often even without a phone call first) because you don't know anything about the other person until you meet face-to-face.


I probably wouldn't go out with someone after just a few emails. I would like to have 1-2 phone conversations first. Having good phone conversations doesn't guarantee a good date. But I can eliminate some men after a phone call. Thus I wouldn't have to spend any time, money, or energy on a date. Even if the date was just a cup of coffee or a beer, I still would spend time and money traveling to and from the meeting place. I might need to readjust my schedule for a date. I'm not opposed to going out with someone fairly quickly. But I think the circumstances should dictate when you meet instead of having strict time limits.
 euphoriaholic
Joined: 1/6/2010
Msg: 113
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 10/6/2010 4:20:26 PM
I agree with "wrinkledstockings". There's no rule book to go by with internet dating. Whatever you're comfortable with be it emailing , talking on the phone and then meeting. But sometimes even that is no guarantee that when you do meet you ask yourself..... ahhhh!what was I thinking ! So I think for me , I'm going to meet in person sooner rather than write a bunch of emails and phone calls only to find out that they're not what I want. Besides I like coffee...
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 114
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/9/2010 6:34:39 PM
I think approx. 5 years ought to do it....if I don't like him by then, I never will.....
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 115
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/11/2010 3:04:12 AM
Dang! Sometimes I'd like to be with the crowd, lol! But I'm not. Attraction/chemistry is a biggie, and truth told, I really don't wish to be distracted by it. That up front whoosh gotta gotta gotta have it *really* gets in the way of knowing a person, lol! And it burns out really fast, and is in no way a predictor of long term compatibility. My experience both here, and in meat life, is it simply takes *me* time.

Both times here that I let myself be pushed we real bad meets. Mea culpa: the very first thing I learned about them is that they disregarded my sense of pace/need to know. That I might have dreamed it would turn out differently is me, wishin'.

So, a month or two. Usually. Because of where I live it's normally a several hour drive for somebody, or both bodies, and so far, waiting has turned out well: it hasn't always taken romantically, but it was always worth the time, effort, $.

 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 116
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/11/2010 9:14:48 AM

I don't have a set time period for when to go out with someone else. I have gone out on dates with people from a dating site ranging from a week to about 1.5 months after first contact. It can depend on the circumstances. Such as location, schedule, amount of email / phone conversations etc.


In general I agree with this. I'm not automatically going out with every man where there is mutual initial interest based on the profile and photos. I think there needs to be some type of screening process ( emails, phone calls etc ) before going out with someone. This also depends on the comfort level of the 2 people involved. I don't consider it to be a big deal if the other person wanted to go out 1-2 weeks later than what you preferred. They may end up appreciating the fact that you were patient with them. Thus that might end up increasing the amount of interest they have in you.
 Purple0000
Joined: 10/10/2010
Msg: 117
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/11/2010 11:26:16 AM
chat on line for a month and then talk on the phone for 2 weeks.
Talking on the phone is good you can hear the voice if he or she is sincere.
 Pilose_Wink
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 118
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/11/2010 1:57:39 PM
Everyone is different and has different criteria, some have a sense of adventure and a more open mind, others need an FBI back ground check, it all depends on your sense of perception and your comfort level, there is no right answer but I believe sooner rather than later saves a lot of day dreaming heart ache and disappointment.

I’ve met one within 6 hours of first contact, and another one took months. Both were failures. So what’s the correct number of days for me then? 5-days! Yep. 5 days is the number, not 4 and 6 is right out!
 ginamontecino
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 119
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/12/2010 8:20:15 AM
I talk on line until I feel that i am comfortable enough to go out with them. That depends on our connection. Most of the time the conversation slows down and ends because we have NOTHING in common. I won't go out with anyone until I am sure I have their attention!!! lol The connection has to click mentally.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 120
how long would you like to talk online before meeting in person
Posted: 11/12/2010 8:53:27 AM
Lately, about a week. Couple phone calls and then face to face.

Then I talk about dating...or not.
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