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 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 265
Dating a SmokerPage 5 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
msg.334 Be careful there may be some non-smokers who would have a hard time with you having smoked 25 years ago.... I've never smoked but I think some carry it way too far...
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 269
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/11/2008 1:13:42 PM

Harleykat, while I know this is a hot button issue for you, I am not your "Hon".

Get a fawking grip, Hon....I think you know it was not a term of affection implying you were my lover or my b1tch or my child...it is commonly used in forums, and if you have such a problem with such....tsk, tsk, tsk!


With all due respect Harley, there is no such thing as a courteous smoker.........even when you smoke outside, we still have to breathe in that polluted air! You say that neither you or your home stink of smoke, of course not, not with all the air freshners , mints and sprays that you are using...... Just think what the smell would be like without them, enough to make you gag perhaps?


Wrong...there IS such a thing as a courteous smoker....in fact, they come to my house and use my deck when smoking, BECAUSE I QUIT SMOKING THIS PAST WEEKEND. Pollute the air?! You should worry more about your personal automobile or the factories around, than a smokers second hand smoke, outdoors!

You know...I chose to quit more because it was a CHALLENGE to me...one I knew I could complete and yes, because I happen to be macking on someone who is a non-smoker. But no matter what...I will never get to the point of hypocrisy of being a non-smoker, as some of the crap I have heard on this thread! LOL
 catkin2007
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 270
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/11/2008 1:56:16 PM
I think it is a personal choice to smoke or not smoke. For me not smoking is important.

However, I also know me well enough to know that if a person smells like a cigarette factory, I'm not about to kiss them. The smell is a total turn off for me. In fairness and trying to understand, I did try dating someone who smoked "ocassionally" but the smell was so strong, I couldn't get past it to get to anything other than friendship. Reality is its probably sad for me because the people who do smoke might be great people, but I can't see or smell them for the smoke.
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 271
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/11/2008 3:20:27 PM
"It is not a personal choice as every day I and all others who pay taxes pay for the care of multitudes of people lined up for medical care and standing outside of hospitals with IV poles smoking their brains out and draining unnecessary funds from a system already on overload.... "

Let me start off with saying I don't smoke and never have. However, I'm a Health Care Worker and the drain is NOT the smokers....It's obestiy, not only do they hurt themselves they hurt us, financially and physically, at least the smokers smoke in the smoking section. I looked at your profile and realize you're in sales so you have NO idea. My intention is not to turn this is to an obesity thread so I'll say no more....but I had to set you straight. I have chronic back pain and it was not a smoker that caused it.....
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 272
view profile
History
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/11/2008 10:58:02 PM
I don't generally mind people smoking around me, just keep an eye on which way the wind is blowing if you would please.

But remember, a partner's gas guzzling car can be a much more expensive, regular cost than a habit like this, aside from the health implications.

(I DO look at this when someone tells me what kind of car they drive. When it is very "inefficient", my thoughts are something like "Are they crazy?" or "how long will they be able to keep filling that thing up?" or similar.)
 Tra C
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 277
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/15/2008 7:04:27 PM

But relative to dating and smoking. Around the girl I'm with I will not smoke. Even if we spend the weekend together I would not smoke. If Ms. Right didn't smoke I would probably quit or good. I really feel abused sometimes by some people on this site. In that they act as if smokers are the scourge of the earth. I think this is hypocritical and arrogant. I have been with so many anti smokers and once they cross the alcohol threshold their reaching for them as well. Why? Because smokers are cool. The smoking section in a restaurant is always the most fun. Non smoking bars are boring.

On some level non smokers are jealous.... lol


AMEN! if youre a non smoker...dont date us smokers...its that simple.
OP...im very proud of you for quitting...hopefully one day i will follow suit.
 CHAOTICBEAUTINESS
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 278
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/15/2008 7:21:55 PM
I applaud all of you that have quit and never started! I don't seem to understand why some people don't want to realize their habit does effect us nonsmokers. I can have an asthma attack from smoke, that could kill me. Medicare will be gone because people won't quit and the medical costs keep rising because of all the health related issues with smoking. Some people have this attitude that it can't happen to them and that their smoking doesn't effect others, well it can, will and does cause damage to you and others both physically and financially.
 LadyotheLake
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 279
view profile
History
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/15/2008 10:13:28 PM
I know exactly what you are going through. My boyfriend, if you can call a 70 year old a boyfriend, smokes. I smoke, too. He has tried Chantix but had a very bad reaction to it. It depressed him. I know he would like to quit because he has copd. I love this man. We don't live together but get together for a couple of days every couple of weeks.
Well, about 3 years ago I took a trip to Costa Rica to quit smoking. When I came back, I had no desire to smoke. A year later, I went on my anual tri p with my girlfriend. She is a light smoker and wouldn't have minded leaving her cigs home. Well, it's kind of a tradition for us to smoke a cig out on the deck of our motel. Well, you know the rest.
So, I'm going on a cruise in January. I am going to come back a non-smoker but what will I do! I will be in the same situation.
I get all choked up just thinking about breaking up. We have been together for a year. He won't go on a cruise to quit smoking............says he can't afford it. So, there you have it.........I'm thinking break up now or stay with him for as long as I can until I go on the cruise. You and I should be support friends and help each other throught this.
If the relationship is perfect, then he will not smoke when he is with you. He lives with you then he must smoke outside. This will make him smoke less, too. Mine relationship is not perfect,. When we are together it's great. We are so good together inevery way. But, he comes on this and many other dating websites all the time. When I talk to him about it, he says that he only goes on when he gets an email from the site. But he is on free sites as well. I think he is addicted. He tells me he hasn't "been" with anyone else since he met me, but I do know he had a couple of dates. So, not seeing him anymore is the answer. I wish you luck and NEVER, NEVER PICK UP A CIGARETTE, especially when you go off the meds. I'm on a generic Welbutran. So, chantix worked for you? Good luck, hang in there and take it one day at a time. Think about the times when you are really busy for a couple of hours and didn't even think about smoking. The answer is to keep something in your hands: knit, crochette, do needle point. You can also have Slow Pokes suckers around, or Tootsie Pops. They really don't have many callories and you get the same hand to mouth thing. So until you break up with him you can try that. If he loves you, he will not smoke around you.
Good luck,
Pixie
 Nakomi71
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 280
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 11/15/2008 11:34:19 PM
Hmm i'm a smoker and most people don't know that I do, unless they see me doing it or i JUST had one.

I call it vigilant hygiene. I j ust don't retain the smell that much, thankfully.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 285
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 12/3/2008 8:02:44 AM
Well, since being a non smoker for 3 weeks, 4 days, and 22 minutes....lol....I can say that I would still consider dating a smoker. He would have to possess all those awesome qualities and characteristics that I am seeking,.....and I would ust hope that my lovely influence would maybe encourage him to quit. :O)

Oh....and he would NEVER smoke in my home, my vehicle, etc....no exceptions. :)
 biscuitttt
Joined: 2/21/2009
Msg: 286
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/1/2009 3:04:29 AM
Harleykat is very much correct. I am a smoker, but can't stand the smell in my home, hence No-Smoking in the house. I smoke full flavor cigarettes, yet I work out every other day, run when the weather is favorable. I have never had a smoke-breathing problem- must be lucky there.
People freak out when I take my son to the smoking section of a resturant. I rarely smoke in a resturant. I go to the smoking section to get away from the hundreds of different perfumes/colonges that are in the non-smoking section. There are some perfumes that just make me sick and my son is sensitive to many of them- I have had to quit putting colonge on him.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 292
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/1/2009 4:37:55 PM
I probably posted in this thread already...weeks or months ago, but wasn't about to wade through 15+ pages of posts. I can't date a smoker due to my allergies, but am fully cognizant of the fact that smoking is a choice, just like my nonsmoking is my choice. As someone who smoked for 22 years, I will not judge someone who chooses to light up; just won't be inviting them home or riding in their car, etc.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 296
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/4/2009 1:32:44 PM
OMGawd....some people just have to be so freaking harsh and miserable.

I quit smoking...3 months, 17 days now, I think. I AM A NON SMOKER now. It is not like AA where I will receive a coin for every continued day of non smoking...I am a non smoker who chooses to remain such for the rest of my life. LOL (Sorry...someone commented how it was too soon....Pffft!)

So, most states have bans on smoking in the majority of places. But we STILL have those who will b1tch and moan about the placements of ashtrays, outdoors. Holy fvckin' ass hats!

The symptoms I have as a second hand smoker, are not my imagination. They are REAL. I get headaches. I get an irritated throat, sinuses, and eyes. I STINK. Did I mention the headache that will not stay away as long as I am exposed to such? LOL

So I MAKE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE...to go places where smoking is still permitted, or not. No one forces me to walk past the ashtray OUTSIDE. No one forces me to go to the BAR or RESTAURANT that still caters to ALL patrons, and not just the ass fvcks who whine constantly, in spite of the smokers forking out a fortune to continue to smoke.

My daughter just moved back home. She smokes. She would like to quit. I KNOW her SUCCESS at quitting has a lot to do with her mindset when she decides to do such. I am not guilting her into quitting.

Sorry...but as a FORMER SMOKER...it is embarrassing to be lumped into either extreme...ick.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 297
view profile
History
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/4/2009 1:37:17 PM
Congratulations, HarleyKat! Keep it up!
 Tra C
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 298
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/4/2009 1:46:02 PM
smokers of the net...UNITE!

this thread is still going eh? we get it already...you non-smokers dislike us smokers...big whoop...do we really need a million threads about it? the answer is so simple...if you dont smoke...and you dont like smokers...date a non-smoker. if you smoke...date a fellow smoker...if you could care less either way...then so be it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 299
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/4/2009 1:54:39 PM
Another thread that makes no sense to me. Dating or not dating a smoker is a choice...a preference. People make choices all the time. There are reams of threads here about dating fat people..dating short people...bald people...tall people...handicapped people...alcoholics...blah blah blah.
and people get just as defensive or offensive depending on which side they are on.
Smoking is just one of those things that people get passionate about...they defend their habit and try to find bad habits in others. I'm not sure I have any bad habits..unless it's meeting the wrong men...but I don't feel the need to defend it. Of course I'm not having to stand outside in the cold enjoying my bad habit because I'm not welcomed inside a public building. Such is life.
 Visuell
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 304
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/5/2009 4:15:42 PM
wow 16 pages of opinions on weather or not to date some one that smells bad to you, tastes bad to you when you kiss or who makes you want to do some thing that you choose to give up?
 enginebuilder55
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 306
view profile
History
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/7/2009 8:36:30 PM
I can date a smoker but trying to make it a relationship would be very hard. Knowing I had a Lung biopsy. It not in the cards for me . I could date a women if she didn't smoke around me but sooner or later she would have to go out for a smoke to relieve her addiction. Then I 've have a hard time even huggining her with the smoke on her breath. Kissing would be at of the question. I know it a hard habit to brake but for me it would be a very hard step. Now if she wanted to stop smoking I would help her.
 EmbraceHug
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 310
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/8/2009 8:29:35 PM
No, I can't stand smokers also, it's nasty and disgusting and they smell (the people) but if the man is not a heavy smoker I will give him a try.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 314
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/10/2009 7:55:33 AM
Well, let me tell you as someone who has stopped smoking previously (every single time I discovered I was pregnant, through breastfeeding, and for 5 years after I lost my grandfather to cancer, and once for a partner who was a non smoker) and has now QUIT FOR GOOD.

The LONGER you smoke, the harder it is to quit, of course. The longer you smoke, it is more likely the MORE you will smoke. I went from under a pack a day, to 1.5 packs and MORE when I was socializing in a bar. (There were times I would smoke a full pack at a bar!)

This is why I KNOW I have QUIT FOR GOOD. Because I NEVER want to experience the withdrawal symptoms that I did with this. ICK. I am pain tolerant, the sort who does NOT go to the Doctors unless I am almost at death's door...and I was close to going to the ER with the freakish symptoms from withdrawals. (I always quit cold turkey...none of that cutting back works for me!)

Your body goes into SHOCK when it is recouping from nicotine withdrawals. Not only did I have freakish dreams (with no chantax) and my brain felt like mud....could not think of the simplest words I wanted to use...I also had bleeding gums, sore teeth, diarrhea, GAS, ICKY taste in my mouth no matter HOW many times I brushed, or how much gum I chewed. Add to that, the shakes, sore throat, phlegm issues as your body starts healing from the tar coating. GROSS. Seriously GROSS. I NEVER had this the other times.

YES...I have empathy for those who smoke still...even more so when I see them paying out the ass for cigarettes, but troubles making ends meet. I just said to my best friend recently..."I am sooo glad I do not have the expense of smoking right now...I would die of guilt!"

But smokers are still people, and I think Zeeba said it best...POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT is what works...not guilting someone or making them feel like a leper. :) Cause in the long run...all of the anti or non smokers here...you just want the smokers to quit, right?

I had MANY who did not think I would stick with it...including my former roomate, and my smoking children. That made me want it more, of course...and I am the type when someone tells me I can't do something, I MAKE SURE I CAN. LOL

Good luck and prayers to all who are trying to quit...or who have quit. :O)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 315
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/10/2009 10:29:30 AM
I think this whole thread is interesting.
I think choosing to date or not date a smoker is a personal choice...I can choose NOT
to date a smoker.
But then out of the woodwork come posters who are offended...and defend their right to ciggies and reiterate my desire not to date them. They get offended that they are treated like second rate citizens...blah blah blah.
Then there are the posters that come out and say well they need positive reenforcement to QUIT smoking...that smokers are people too...etc.
Smoking is something you choose to do to yourself...and its something that makes you undesirable to some.
What I don't get is...how come overweight people don't get this sort of support...why don't people jump to their defense and give them positive reenforcement?
Overweight people are like lepers in here...I've lost weight myself but I still keep it at a few extra pounds...if they had "fat cow" I'd probably check that...keeps the riff raff away.
I just find it interesting the people that will defend the right of someone to smoke and become all compassionate and be willing to be a positive influence in their life...but when it comes to overweight people..its get yourself to a gym!
Fishes certainly is a funny place.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 316
view profile
History
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/10/2009 10:43:05 AM
I don't want to date a smoker.

(coughing) "For every cigarette you smoke, I smoke half." -Ben Kingsley, to chain-smoking Oscar Schindler hanging over his typewriter while he types Schindler's List
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 318
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 3/10/2009 12:04:33 PM
Congrats on your quitting cigs.
I would have mentioned to him the issues you have when he lit up around you, and the kissing part. I myself am a former smoker, been almost 5 years now. It is a discusting, smelly, dirty habit. Sometimes catching a wiff of it literally gags me.
There is such thing as being a considerate smoker, obviously he is not one of them.
 jodyro
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 321
Dating a Smoker
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:10:00 AM
persistant_angel [Point is - those who think they are above reproach because they don't smoke and bar any chance of meeting a potential because of it.]

Moderation? Does anyone know what that word means? Smoking, chewing,gambling, drinking, pill taking, over eating, burning while sun tanning, wreckless driving.. I am sure most people on this site don't have a problem with most of these problems or habits if so they don't mention it?

I have a friend who's 66 yo her family {non} ever smoked..she married a smoker? Lived together for over 18 years he drank to much...they divorced over that. Now she can't go to a casino because of all the smoke unless they have a non-smoking room ???????????? I tease her sometime about how the allergy seemed to go away with love and return with hate!!
 soulful17again
Joined: 7/10/2009
Msg: 322
former smoker lived with a smoker in an nation of smokers
Posted: 7/13/2009 3:29:52 PM
our history of smoking for more than two hundred years and now the so called empwered someless society wants to end it yesterday. realizing this only agravates the situation as there is no real education in school on smoking dugs alcohol that stem for more than one credit. be aware that the true culprates are hiding behinmd governments and in governments watching the masses deal with an issue that in 1939 t0 1945 a particalar ruler had the same idea. about the smoking. what we had to wait this long to avoid its connection to a lunatic.

if you smoke today and require anti-biotics a physician will refuse you that is an absolute wrong. educate your children but the ramification within the social circle to what exile smokers from there own society. the pendulum swings. It wsn't the smokers who tore out part of the ozone remember it was our parents and grandparent. right or wrong the remainingg smokers today are a production of our society and it will take ten generation to eliminate them

thank you for reading my rant
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