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 itzonlyluv
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 187
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Clues that he's an online player ..Page 13 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Well I certainly don't know an exact percentage but I think the number is high. But the longer one dates, the easier it is to spot them. Unfortunately I think its just prudent to not believe everything that someone says, and just take it slow, ask questions, don't feel pressured to answer questions that you don't want to, and only meet if you feel safe.

There has been a lot of good info presented in the above posts. One thing I do now is after contact is made, no matter how hard the man will pursue, I watch his online activity and see how frequent he is on a site.

I dated someone from another site who told me he only joined so that he could contact me. As I watched his activity, he was on line all day long while at work. I was sent his profile as a match on another site I no longer belonged to, and when I told him he said he didn't belong to the site any longer. Funny thing though- he was active every 24 hours. So why he felt he needed to lie about it is beyond me- it was obvious what he was doing.

On this site I started dating someone who I pegged as an online addict in the very beginning, and questioned him about it. He strenuously denied it, saying he only used the site to post his "artwork". He was constantly online, his favs list always grew, then he would delete all of them and start over. He even created a second profile to expand his audience, aka "fan club", since one profile wasn't enough for him. When I look back at all of the silly excuses, I actually have to laugh at the transparency of it all. His concession to me in his mind was that he would hide his profile when he was physically with me. I never asked him to do that but in his mind this meant something special- lol. Otherwise it was up all of the time and he was in full play mode. He would even tell me about the women he chatted with, and one time he was late coming to see me as he felt he needed to speak to a woman who wrote a negative email to him about his profile. So I concluded that being on POF was always going to be his priority and having a real relationship was pretty far down his list of prioities.

I think we gals just have to be smart about what we are being told, keep our eyes open and if it smells funny, throw it back. Trust your gut- its rarely wrong.
 StudentOfLife
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 192
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 7/5/2007 5:36:33 PM
Wow, I think that describes about every guy my age. Let's see: uses a cell phone exclusively - check, texts a lot - check, has lot's of IM windows open - check, "disappears" on weekends - check, etc, etc. Yeah, that's me too. I guess it's all how you interpret it. That's probably why I get the cold shoulder on here so often.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 199
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History
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 7/9/2007 11:25:09 AM
heh heh, just read msg 226 to see the kinds of things a lot of players say. Anyone who says things like "I must be the only genuine one here" and go on about how honest they are should immediately be looked at skeptically - I've never heard an honest person say such things, and every liar I've met often says such things.
 SilverSpartan
Joined: 5/25/2007
Msg: 201
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:18:47 PM
tracking this thread.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 202
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History
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 7/19/2007 10:40:56 AM
If he looks too good to be true, he usually is. Always apply the golden rule:
There is no such thing as a free lunch.
Lol
 bigbadjon1956
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 212
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 8/3/2007 5:40:24 PM
I read most of these responses. I have been stood up by women myself. So does that make that woman a 'player' or too chicken to meet?
'Only having certain times to chat online' believe it or not many men have jobs and lives after work. Because a man, you have never met, takes time for his kids or grandkids or his hobby does not make him a player.
'He chats with many people online at once' Are people online only allowed to chat with one person at a time? On this one I have to say it is time for you to join the real world. Almost everyone I know chats with more than one person at a time.
'He only wants to meet for coffee' Most date site safety rules will tell you to only meet for a coffee or something similar on the first meeting. If you want a fancy dinner and he won't spring for it DON'T AGREE TO MEET. Seems simple doesn't it?
Until the both of you agree to date each other exclusively, either of you can date other people. Even if you have sex on the first date, one date does not make you exclusive. Never ever assume anything when it comes to people. Communication is the key.
 marroussia
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 213
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 8/4/2007 4:22:42 AM
the ones that r chatting to u then suddenly "have to go" and dissappear only to reappear 2 mins later..wife walked in...this happened to several of my friends their husbands doing this - chatting online and they would catch them out..hmmm. but true wat others say meet them and see and you arrrange the time and place if they are truely single then they will be cool about anywhere anytime. Good luck
 sparkett
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 217
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History
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:40:22 AM
turns off his messenger? I do that, but to be focused on the one conversation! Im not good at multiple conversations, and not all that skilled on a computer anyway.
As far as getting stood up, maybe he did have something come up, but if he never contacts you after, no apology or anything.Dont look back!
Or if you set a meet, and he cancels,then dissapears. Go
 valsalva22
Joined: 4/27/2005
Msg: 218
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:50:25 AM

Players - this word is also confused wth
someone who does not want to be with you- thus labeled
a player around here-

Truer words were never spoken.

Some people can't handle rejection and thus make themselves feel better by saying they got "played".
 valsalva22
Joined: 4/27/2005
Msg: 219
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 8/4/2007 8:16:07 AM
Clues: He is attractive and has all the 'qualities' we women find attractive..so why is he still available?

Maybe he is selective? If he has "all the qualities" then why should he settle? Perhaps he is looking for a woman with "all the qualities"?

Clue: he is on all the dating sites
Increasing his chances of finding a woman with "all the qualities". If he is going to find someone online, why limit himself to only one dating site? Personally speaking, however, I don't think any of the other dating sites that I have tried match up to POF. It has come a long way, even in the last two years, and I can't believe it is still free!

Clue: you see his pic on AdultFeindFinder
Why are you on Adult Friend Finder? (or is that "FiendFinder"?)

Clue: you post 2 profiles and he answers both
Wow, some lengths people actually go to. Maybe it's me but anyone who is posting 2 or more profiles to "test" others is showing a lot of trust issues and that usually stems from being untrustworthy themselves. Something to think about.

By the way, if the police set up a trap like that it is called entrapment.

Clue: the first date is always on the cheap side (a cuppa coffee)
I would say most first "dates" (or "meetings" for those who are hung up on terminology) are over a cup of coffee or a drink. In fact, that's all most people want for the first time to see if there is any physical attraction. If you're using this as a "clue", you may as well give up right now, LOL.

Clue: Somehow a sexual innuendo creeps in earlier on..
That can also be a sign of his/her personality and comfort level with the other person. Most emotionally stable adults make sexual jokes or innuendos without any underlying currents or hidden agendas so again, this doesn't mean much at all unless it is a blatant sexual comment or request to show his peepee to you on the webcam. Then it is time to block.

Clue: he is on line constantly
Some people don't bother logging out if they know they will be returning soon.

And there are more clues ...just be aware that once they get a taste for the candy store they cannot keep away from it...
And some people are sick of it and can't wait to get away from it but may not have any other options of meeting people.

Sorry to say but these "clues" aren't much of anything and anyone who is always looking for rejection (translation: to be "played") will probably find it. It's the law of attraction, after all. A self-fulfilling prophecy, if you will. Call it whatever you want. Put down the labels and the negativity and just approach online dating with an open mind and make your own decisions and experiences. Both my sister and my mother met their husbands online so I know there are good people out there (I am here too!).
 tngirl37
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 228
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:49:01 PM
jenlou67 you are 100% right. i know a guy that has a profile on here,but yet he has a good girl at home who has no clue to what he is doing. he is a real fonnie says he is honest up front guy loyal all the bull that goes with it. he.'s profile says single, well he's been in a 4 year relationship with this girl. and he swears up and down he loves her. but to see his profile you wouldnt even know he had a girlfriend. so ladies be ware of some .
 Poca-haunt-us
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 241
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/8/2007 11:24:14 AM
Fantastic observations 'GreenEyez.' I would like to add that I keep a diary on when we met, when we went out, where, how it was, watching his reactions to various situations, must be a good tipper (was a wait person and I hate cheap people). ***There is a saying that says, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat a wait person.................so true, after 20 years of gourmet service, it's true!!!!!!
I love it when they tell me stories. I write out a short form of it and when they repeat it I compare. I have never met one man that did not repeat the story identically.

Now this might see overly cautious, rude, appauling to some or whatever, but a single woman today can not take too many precautions and I WON'T be taken again.

What I write is the truth so nobody has any reason for thinking negatively.
It also keeps me balanced as to what I am feeling in what period of time.

I must add that I have only met fantastic men on PoF. All very polite and kind.
Not very many sparks but 3 great new male friends. We have lots in common, just no spark.................we all won I think.
 Justaneed
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 244
wow
Posted: 10/9/2007 3:45:42 PM
There are those that are players..but they meet for real and just use what they can get from those that they meet. An example is someone I met last year, he was in along distance relationship that was not going good. I at the time was not looking for a relationship. We both agreed it was an FWB relationship. into our 6th month, he asked me if I had feelings for him. I was very fond of him, yes, and was fighting with myself as to whether my fondness was something else..I was very glad I told him no when I was asked. He changed and within 2 weeks, he gave me the dear jane letter and said he was changing and going to be faithful..within 3 weeks he was back on here looking, and when I questioned him on it, he said he was here for his ego and just friends. I was not born yesterday and knew what he was up to. This year I come to find out he was seeing the daughter of someone I know. But this was after we chatted on msn after almost a year and he told me he was with someone and she was a sweetheart. one week later he puts up a profile on a site that was not a dating site..but what it said made me bust a gut laughing. he was looking to cheat. End of summer I met them at a party and held my tongue cause I knew what he was up to. and he pretended he didnt know me, which I thought was rude. Here a bit ago, he comes emailing me on here, I knew it was him right away. When I confronted him, about what I knew, he deletes his profile from here. But I know he will be back with a new hidden profile.

Now I am telling this only because, do you think there should be a place where we can warn others...male for female and female for male players? Cause I do know it happens to both sexes. Not to flame them..but to let others know to be leary of them.

I know there is a site out there called dontdatehimgirl and you can put your story..maybe gals you can start looking there...I am sure there is a site out there for the guys to do the same thing
 Justaneed
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 245
wow
Posted: 10/9/2007 4:26:15 PM
He is the player as he has dates one...and cheats on them with others. Puts his profile up as single. Not sure how I would be the player on this when it was me keeping to our agreement. I must have hurt his ego when I said no.
 Justaneed
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 246
wow
Posted: 10/9/2007 4:44:23 PM
I think you read that wrong up there...there was no exclusive contract between us...I was saying he commits to one, and cheats on her with others. He cheated on his long distance relationship with me...then he is dating my friends daughter..suppose to be commited there..yet looking and cheating on her.
 Justaneed
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 248
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/10/2007 1:09:28 PM

Maybe you should check that site out before you recomend it.
It is full of reports that show vindictiveness and hostility. Want to know the reason most are actually posted on there.
The poor sap's rejected, dumped or just flat wasn't in someone who thought he should be,


I had looked at the site..and yes I imagine there are alot there that are vindictive posts...but some are truely reasonable...

yes, these women post because they have been hurt...hurt bad too.
 Justaneed
Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 250
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/11/2007 1:24:28 PM
Like I have said before and if we can be adults about this and though I know many of us are bitter about knowing what we end up finding out about the person[both male and female] There should be a place to warn others on this site about those that are suspected players..and if the person that sees it and does not heed it, then be it on their head and heart their hurt.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 253
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/11/2007 2:55:58 PM
There is no player if there is no one who wants to be played. You can't never get the real person from the Internet, they are always hiding something. While chatting with you they are also chatting with 10 more people. The game is circular.
 soleil2020
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 255
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/11/2007 3:15:06 PM
Good advice verygreeneyez. For me, as far as the "separated" guys go, I steer clear.
You never know if the guy is going to have a sudden change of heart about his "nearly divorced" status.
Or he may be in a sort of a perpetual "almost divorced" state. I went down that road with a guy. For the whole 4 months we were seeing each other, he was "going to file next week". I should have been wise to it after the first week or at least after the second, but I guess I was too busy being smitten with the guy at that point. ..... Lesson learned.
That kind ...you know the string along types..(don't get upset, guys..I know it happens on both sides) anyway..this kind of person will string you along if you let them and then when you bring up the subject with a " say...how's that divorce process going? " will try to make you feel like you are being over bearing and putting undue stress on his already stressful situation.

I say ...if a person is in the " middle of a divorce", he or she should probably hold off getting involved with someone else and expecting that person to sit quietly on the sidelines waiting and waiting for the whole process to finish..or even start for that matter.

wow..sorry folks didn't mean to send this conversation off on a different path, I just felt like responding to "verygreeneyez' wise advice about looking out for the "separated" ones.

soleil
 crispyandtender
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 257
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:29:44 PM
For starters, consider running his user name through Google. Lots of times guys use the same name on different sites. You may be able to determine how many other dating sites he's on. I did this with a guy I recently went out with who claimed to be interested in a relationship. In about 20 seconds, I was able to learn that he was looking for group sex (he'd joined a swingers group) and he had left messages on a message board to a married woman looking for "relief". Also, you can look on a very popular adult site to see if he's a member. This guy and several others on this site were dumb enough to post their photos on there. Boy do I feel like a dope for thinking this guy was a good one!
 Bestestfish
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 260
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 5:08:46 AM
Google me and.....you will still not find my real hangout! Wowies... too much peach rum!
 beffyann
Joined: 5/1/2007
Msg: 261
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 10/12/2007 9:40:44 AM
"they don't want you to see anything on their computer"
You ladies will like this one! I met a guy from this site who seemed "different" to say the least. He traveled with his job and had asked me to meet him out of town several times. Each time I declined. Well, one weekend he must have been completey exhausted of options, because he agreed to come to where I live to meet and to take me out to dinner. I told him I had my reservations about him, and he reassured me with this statement, "I guarantee you that you will think I am one of the nicest guys you have ever met." I agreed to meet him. We had dinner together, and he was an absolute southern gentleman. He had arrived much later than we both had anticipated, and it took him about 2 hours longer than it should have, due to traffic. I stupidly asked him to spend the night, so he wouldn't have the long drive back at midnight. The southern gentleman disappeared once he found out he was spending the night. The next morning he used my computer to check out his emails. Well, he forgot to sign out; so after he left, I decided to read his emails. His response to one of the ladies that he was playing, from this site, stated, "I will be through your area in the near future. Please let me know how I can accommodate you" I suppose he fancies himself a self-proclaimed gigolo. I was an idiot for not decoding his language, but now I know what to look for.
 oddsrhuge
Joined: 7/10/2007
Msg: 272
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:14:10 AM

That is precisely why one should NEVER give out personal information to anyone on the net, including personal phone numbers. In this age of identity theft and stalkers, the last thing you want is some psycho tracking where you live and obtain all your personal information. Just because someone give s you a cell phone # doesn't make them a player. It could mean he's just smart enough to know not to give out a home number.


I have to agree with this post. Why stop at county records? Why not hire Peter Gunn to track follow and photograph the person??? Holy S**t, it would totally freak me out to find that before I had met someone I was just interested in dating, had run complete background checks with cross references before our first coffee... And it would be a shame if I had liked her, because that would have been the end of any association I would have had with said person.


Most of the time they will fall short somewhere ...
ummm, between the legs perhaps????

You must be blessed, obviously you are perfect in every way, good luck finding someone who "measures up" to your standards.
 Heart Breaker 2
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 280
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History
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:52:40 PM
Right on Ruamoremio! Keep it simple. Any smart guy SHOULD BE what is considered a" PLAYER". You dont want to be stuck with the first girl to bat her eyes at you. That can spell disaster. Date around, have fun, find the BEST one that bats her eyes. After you find the one THEN settle down. Thats all Im sayin...
 apache64
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 284
Clues that he's an online player ..
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:13:28 PM
You have no clue as to what you are talking about...
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