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 MallardHunter
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 20
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

You don't use mail filters...A lot of women may look at the filter and assume that you are open to intimate encounters.


Are you saying just because the filters are not being used women automatically assume the person is looking for an intimate encounter?

I guess that means you are as you don't seem to be using much of the filters either...
 JustKelly70
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 25
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/11/2007 1:38:26 PM
Why would you want to change?, Just be yourself, Works for me, And my profiles pretty short but to the point.
 JDMETRO
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 26
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/11/2007 1:42:17 PM
"Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?"

Answer: It all depends --- Years ago I used to frequent a great dance club for happy hour. Sometimes I went with a buddy to hang out. My soccer buddy Bob went with me a few times. He was a younger, slimmer, even better looking version of Tom Selleck. Upon entering the door and getting no further, at least three different women would come straight to the door from the back area and hand Bob a note with their name and number on it - while whispering in his ear. This happen on more than one occassion. And these women were not slutty broads - just nice looking well dressed office gals coming to happy hour after work.

Being an average guy who doesn't get that kind of treatment these episodes told me a lot about women - nice women - good women. If they see what they want - they will do what is required to get it. And since the hot POF women are not beating a path to my door - I'm pretty sure that they are running to the front door of POF and handing a note to that age appropriate Tom Selleck or Brad Pitt fellow -- who in addition is displaying certain assets is also displaying a few financial assets. What's not to like --- ?

Bottom line Women are Women - here at POF or elsewhere.

Joe
 subhacker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 29
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/11/2007 5:09:04 PM
It does happen. It is very rare, but it happens. In the least six months, I have received two on POF, four on Yahoo. Of those, two were clear and obvious mismatches, two disappeared as soon as I responded, and two were actually plausible. I dated one one for a while.

For the most part women don't do it because they don't have to. They might try it once or twice, don't get the kind of response they expect and blame it on men not being ready for assertive women. In reality, they get the same response that we do. But they have a choice and we don't.

Sure, it isn't fair, but what is? You just have to deal with what you are given. That means it is up to you to make the first move.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 30
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/11/2007 5:33:16 PM
We don't? I pick up guys all the time. But then again, I am really strong
 KTDID78
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 33
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:45:48 PM
I've approached many men from this site and others. I've always been agressive in that way though... if I see something or someone I like I go for it.

Are there really women who sit back and wait for men to ask them? Wow. I'm not that patient!
 KTDID78
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 34
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:53:29 PM
JustmeandMax :
women want a man who can lead, not control but lead

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 41
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:34:59 AM
Women do pick up men on dating sites. I am living proof of that, so therefore how would you know that ALL women don't? Apparently you're wrong.

I may not be interested in talking in a romantic sense to more than 15% of the men on this site (outside forums or friendships), and out of that 15% about 2% are local to me, so there's not much for me to pick thru but when I see something I like I definitely make it known.

And yes, I deal with rejection...and when I do I suck it up and move on, just as I would expect a man to if he dealt with it.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 42
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:21:12 AM

well I will make contact 1st if a person appeals to me....if I wait for the fella I will have a long wait lol

i have learned to never make first contact tryed it for long time it never worked out but all the times ithat the woman has made the first contact it has resulted in something a friend or other . guys hitting on girls just dont work on here
 keeper515
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 47
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:52:23 PM
Crizella
Many people here are on target with the reasons. Specifically misterclean, justmeandmax, subhacker, smile98765 and Geneseo when I can stop laughing at his take on the matter .
Like the cliche ways - A Faint heart never won a fair lady. I would like to see a man demonstrate that he is interested in me enough to send an e-mail, rather than a guy who is wating for me to do all the work. I am a retired mother ! Don't do reruns !
You can't push a string.
And JDMETRO you have a great smile. If I were in Texas AND you considered dating older women , your soccer buddy wouldn't be the one with my number.
 LLH5
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 48
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:59:03 PM
If I see a man that strikes my interest, I contact them. How many times have I been rejected, so many I lost count. At first I would get my feelings hurt. Now however, no sweat, it's just another day in the world of internet dating.
 jessica3b1
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 52
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:15:14 AM
The fact is, women do make the first contact a lot of the time. I know that my ad actually leaves a lot of guys heading for the hills... that's why it is the way it is. It weeds out the guys that would be a waste of my time. Still, I have contacted MANY guys on here and other sites as well. Over the past 10 years, I have received ONE response to my messages. So maybe some women have stopped contacting men because it seems to be a waste of thier time? I don't know. All I know is that it doesn's stop me. If I didn't contact the guys I'm interested in, I may miss out on that great guy one day.

Anyway, as I got a little off topic there, my point is, just because women don't contact you, it doesn't mean they aren't contacting other guys. Just maybe, the problem is with YOUR ad, and not the women who are viewing it?

I'm just sayin'.
 casperella
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 53
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:17:52 AM
Gene...thats pretty funny, and yeah he did cheat....
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 54
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:20:42 AM
Why wouldn't I contact men? Just about everyone who contacts me is pretty much not my type (90-95%). I kind of have no choice. lol

Women: Men are not turned off by contact, they are turned off by a woman who thinks contacting is all she needs to do to expect interest (funny we don't like it either from men but don't see it as the same); a woman who won't take no for an answer (another thing we don't like from men); or a woman who chases too much and too aggressively (yep, yet another thing).

You can show interest and still leave the chasing to the man - trust me they'll chase if they are interested and you've shown them clearly that it's something worth the effort.
 casperella
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 55
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 7:29:02 AM
Mister, I've never gotten that many emails...with or without a pic....guess I'm just ugly....lol
 rbheinz57
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 59
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 1:31:52 PM
This seems quite discouraging. I keep reading on these forums how people are e-mailing others and not getting responses and why women don't pick up men and men don't pick up women. As well as why people are not having any success. Some people have been on here for quite a while with no success and have essentially given up and now come on POF for the forums. If this is what I am reading its not giving me very much hope here. If there are thousands of people who are members of POF, why does it seem like there are so many people who aren't having a whole lot of success. Is this a waste of time???
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 60
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 1:34:54 PM
Amen MisterB1974, that is a lot of what I have dealt with, but not so much on here. I have put ads up in other places and received 1000 responses, and it was like where do I begin? I do have a life too! LOL You get to the point where just responding to the ads takes so much time you have to stop and can't even go looking around because your time has run out and you need to work on work stuff, eating, sleeping, I don't know, they seem like important things...lol I guess it's nice to know one guy, at least by doing an experiment, can kinda see what it is like. But yeah, I also write guys on here, and may not get a response back. I am very patient though, cause I know I can check an email then something comes up (um, in the real world) and I don't respond RIGHT AWAY. Also, I am still on dialup, so that adds a whole other host of problems, and people who get too hurt too quick when technology or life might be to blame, that's just silly. And to those who say you need to tell every person that writes you that you don't think it's a good match or thanks for writing, try writing back to hundreds of people on dialup! So there! ;)

M

But I still love meeting people online, I'm addicted!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 66
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 5:37:22 PM

Honestly would you really want some brazen thing for the long term? Quality counts and shows.


I'm going to view this as sarcasm. If it isn't ~ I would have to take personal offence ~ I don't think we'd have room in this white box for my written opinion on such a nasty view of women who choose to merely write a man an email. (YIKES!!!!!!!!!)

~OP~ Contacting men first isn't my thing. BUT, I did contact one man first ~ thank God I did....he's amazing. If that makes me a "brazen" something or other ~ outstanding. I met a great guy AND graduated from "traditionalist" to a woman of the times...woo hoo for me.
 subhacker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 70
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 9:32:41 PM
Casperella:

Mister, I've never gotten that many emails...with or without a pic....guess I'm just ugly....lol

You are certainly not ugly, but your profile is very sparse. It says almost nothing about you or what you are looking for. *I* wouldn't know what to say to you.
 subhacker
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 71
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/17/2007 9:53:21 PM
Ls1:

I know it's not easy .....Ladyshellie
But men do most of the contacting anyways, when a woman does it she's standing out from the crowd and trust me.....most men like that.
You don't have to be forward.....hi is all it takes.

No. She needs to better than "hi". Almost any guy she sends that too will be instantly irritated. "I write carefully composed messages addressing women's profiles and mostly get ignored. She writes 'hi' and expects a response? The nerve!" Now, the guy may regain his composure and decide it's still worth pursuing. But you are already off on the wrong foot. An opening message, regardless of who sends it must address the question "why am I contacting you?". The simplest way is to ask a question about something in the profile. That's the beginning of a dialog. "Hi" just says "I'm here. You figure out what to say to me"
 rbheinz57
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 73
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/18/2007 7:26:00 AM
Thank you Ls1 for the encouragement . I have just recently revamped my profile, so i hope its better.
 HRWild
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 75
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/18/2007 9:19:18 AM
If a man really does interest me, I will certainly make first contact. If all goes well after a few emails, I might ask him if he has plans for [whenever]. If I ask him out, he should expect me to pay for the date, unless that would make him feel bad.
 rbheinz57
Joined: 5/3/2007
Msg: 76
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Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 6/22/2007 4:36:27 PM
yeah, I get the same thing. I have no problem contacting a man, but so far every person I have contacted, didn't respond back, or they said to me "good luck in your search," lol, and we know what that means...thanks but no thanks.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 83
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 4/21/2008 11:50:45 PM
i;ve had women hit on me, flirt with me and ask me out on dates. in fact I prefer it ebcuase it takes the pressure off of me. i find it nice when a girl knows what she wants and tells you its you that she desires. it is sucha turn on to have a woman hit on a guy on me. lol. AndI am the one doing most of the asking. but I would say 1 out of 5 times the girl is doing the asking. WIth me in my experience tha tis.
 HeavenAwaits11
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 85
Why Don't Women Pick Up Men On Dating Sites?
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:18:48 PM
It's quite simple really it's because if you do not have a 6 pack showing in your profile photo it will not happen...This is tried tested and true.
The funny thing is... you can have a very discouraging profile and they will still make 1st contact, there are FEW that do not really care about that but 90% do!
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